to think that guests should receive a meal at a wedding

(407 Posts)
Roversandrhodes Fri 06-May-16 14:52:48

Oh and I recently attended the wedding of good old friends of mine ,oh has met them a handful of times.
Wedding was at 12 and night guests arrived at 7.After the ceremony we were shown to a room for a 'mingle' whilst the wedding party had their photos.We were then taken to our assigned tables and sat down to a scone and jam.This was it ,all day.

Until about 9pm when a burger van arrived .

Aibu to think this was a little rude ?Some guests had travelled from Germany and Scotland to be there ,it was Friday so many guests inc myself and oh had taken time off work ,no kids were aloud so we (and many other guests had arranged childcare) ,we travelled an hour to get there ,brought a gift ,etc.I don't resent doing any of this ,I was happy to be invited but I just think it's a little unreasonable to expect guests to go from morning til 8pm on one scone each and a spoonful of jam.

Thoughts ?

hairymelonwalton Fri 06-May-16 14:56:07

was the burger van in the middle of the dance floor im trying to picture it

shinynewusername Fri 06-May-16 14:57:12

YANBU - DH would have eaten his own arm if he'd been there smile

A bun is fine if it's the old-fashioned sort of wedding where guests are local and you only hang around for a couple of hours after the ceremony before retiring to the pub to get pissed. But, if you want people to travel long distances then hang around for 12 hours, you need to feed them.

Groovee Fri 06-May-16 14:57:35

Sounds like my brothers wedding when we got a box of cadbury's fingers!

BiftasWifta Fri 06-May-16 14:59:18

I don't mind not being served a meal at a wedding but it's nice to be informed on the invitation so that you can have a substantial breakfast. YANBU.

scandichick Fri 06-May-16 15:00:52

I don't think a wedding without a meal is strange, but it depends on the timing - I would have been gnawing at the walls at 5PM at this one.

If you entertain people for a whole day you have to feed them! Not a three course meal with filet mignon, but something more substantial than a scone anyway. Was there any kids there?

TheCrumpettyTree Fri 06-May-16 15:01:50

Yanbu that's poor. You need to feed your guests.

BillSykesDog Fri 06-May-16 15:02:04

Interesting....so the bride and groom are generally (on MN) labelled grabby for any small request or desire for their wedding.

I will be watching to see how this one pans out and if guests are called entitled and grabby or guestzillas if they expect anything in return...

BoopTheSnoot Fri 06-May-16 15:04:02

Gosh I couldn't cope with that but I am a notorious gannet
At my wedding there were canapés after the ceremony, a three course meal about an hour and a half after that and pie and peas at the evening reception. Boop likes to eat grin

RoboticSealpup Fri 06-May-16 15:04:48

YANBU! I don't know why people insist on having big weddings they can't afford. I bet they had a cutesy poem on the invite as well, about wanting money instead of other gifts

jamhot Fri 06-May-16 15:06:59

I don't think guests have to be fed, but it would have been better if guests had been forewarned so that they could plan accordingly.

IfTheCapFitsWearIt Fri 06-May-16 15:07:32

I personally wouldn't have minded if they had said, look we can't afford food for everyone, so we are having a Jacobs feast.

I've been to a couple of weddings Like that, they have provided some things like jacket potatoes, sandwiches, pasta or what ever. Guests have said in advance if they could bring anything and what it would be.

They were lovely weddings, and not everyone did or could bring food, but there was plenty to go around.

I wouldn't be impressed if I'd only been offered a scone all day though. With no warning of there being a lack of food. So YANBU

MiddleClassProblem Fri 06-May-16 15:07:39

They can't expect people to be at the wedding all day and not eat! It's different if it's a late wedding or short wedding or you say on the invite byo or state that there is time between venues to eat but to expect people to be present and not have any options for food? What if someone is diabetic and needs to keep blood sugar going? What if some is a normal human being and didn't eat lunch at 11 before the wedding that went on all day and night?

Apologies for all the 'or's in there.

shinynewusername Fri 06-May-16 15:10:55

Interesting....so the bride and groom are generally (on MN) labelled grabby for any small request or desire for their wedding. I will be watching to see how this one pans out and if guests are called entitled and grabby or guestzillas if they expect anything in return...

The difference is that the guests are - er - guests. They have given up time and usually spent a lot of money to come to a wedding at the B&Gs' request. Sane B&Gs actually want their guests to enjoy themselves which - for most people - doesn't include subsisting on a single scone for 9 hours.

elephantpig Fri 06-May-16 15:14:08

I'm getting married this summer. MY main aims for guests is to keep them well fed and their glasses topped up.

Pseudo341 Fri 06-May-16 15:14:18

That's appalling! Presumably you all had to be at the venue by late morning to be ready for the ceremony, and then were expected to hang around 'till late evening. To not feed you a main meal in that time is extremely rude. What on earth where they thinking?! Did anyone say anything? I'd have been by mid afternoon to go and get some food, and I wouldn't have been back.

Pinkheart5915 Fri 06-May-16 15:14:48

Yanbu. It does sound a bit mean to starve your guests.
Could they have been let down by catering at the last minute? Or maybe they spent all the money on the wedding dress, cars etc and thought forget the guests let them starve

Pseudo341 Fri 06-May-16 15:15:06

I'd have been GONE by mid afternoon. I swear I did type it, don't know where it went?!

Naoko Fri 06-May-16 15:17:01

You can't ask people to come to a venue of your choosing all day long and then not feed them! If you can't afford to feed them all have a low key bring your own barbecue, or ask everyone to bring a dish or something. Just expecting people to go hungry is cripplingly rude. Not to mention weird.

Roversandrhodes Fri 06-May-16 15:18:28

They were definitely not let down by caterers as I spoke to the bride last week and she said she had hoped they would 'fill out' the 'lunchbox' which contained the scone with grapes and crisps 😁 Go figure!

Roversandrhodes Fri 06-May-16 15:20:03

Our mutual friend is GF and her GF scone never arrived ,even worse ,we were both informed by bride last week that to have the burger van cater for gf on the evening was a cost of £7 per head.

Pinkheart5915 Fri 06-May-16 15:20:08

Fill out with grapes and crisp 😂 😂
So just tight arsed people then

Floggingmolly Fri 06-May-16 15:23:22

A burger van? Did you have to pay for your burgers?!

Roversandrhodes Fri 06-May-16 15:24:09

i don't understand why anyone would get married when they can't afford to feed their guests properly .Or maybe they could and they just didn't want too.They had a lovely honeymoon in New York and Last time I saw her she also told me how her husband lost money by taking time off for their wedding (self employed) but they have now made the cash lost back after the wedding.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 06-May-16 15:25:37

That is very bad, if you cannot afford to feed people after your wedding, have less guests, very rude.

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