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AIBU?

AIBU in wanting to hear what "adult-isms" your very young toddlers have come up with in the language department?

151 replies

travelswithtea · 21/10/2014 14:27

So, I am watching DC attempt putting together consonants and vowels (it is not going well, alas) and was reminded of good friends' twin grandchildren who only recently turned two, and when their grandparents were visiting the other day they heard the following exchange between the girls:

Twin 1: I demand that you allow me my individual time to play with that (points to toy)
Twin 2: You are not in a position to demand anything, young lady.
Twin 1: Oh, you are so infuriating! When will this madness end! (stomps off)

They come from a highly literate family with the parents having never spoken to them in non-adult language, and apparently they come up with these sorts of gems all the time. They were using full sentences etc etc etc really early on, basically from the moment they started talking. :) But I should also think that it is not really that unusual, and lots of kids just happen to have great verbal skills from the get go.

So now I'm interested to hear what adult-isms your very young toddlers have come up with when using "proper" language? (I remember there was a philosophies of children thread on here some time ago, but I'm more interested in actual language use; I'm just wondering what I could look forward to (with any luck, as it ain't looking good right now) with this DC and sentence/vocab construction!)

OP posts:
JerseySpud · 21/10/2014 14:29

DD2 has taken to having a meltdown sometimes at school. Today was a classic. She didn't want to do what they told her to so they said that if she didn't stop screaming she would have to sit on the thinking chair.

To which DD2 replied

"I will sit on the thinking chair as i need some time. A Break!"

Shes 3

JerseySpud · 21/10/2014 14:30

And the embaressing time i had to slam my brakes on in my car and a little voice piped up from the back of

"Fuckin 'ell mum!"

She was 2 Blush

travelswithtea · 21/10/2014 14:37

Haha. The proverbial backseat driver! Start 'em early! Grin

OP posts:
VirtualPointyHat · 21/10/2014 14:52

DNephew is not a great talker, but has one stock phrase whenever there is an issue "oh god" to the same cadences as "all gone"

glenthebattleostrich · 21/10/2014 14:52

Friends dd when we went to play

Your dd and I are going upstairs for some peace. We do not want to hear your constant yammering on.

Can you tell we have 2 chatterboxes!!

Or the time she misheard her dad and was later heard telling her little brother for gods sake stop being a little shed

JubJubBirds · 21/10/2014 15:08

When my tiny DNephew has had enough of talking to you on the phone he says, "Welllll... I'll let you get on then."

ILovePud · 21/10/2014 15:12

My three year old has taken to saying "that is not appropriate" Grin makes me laugh and cringe at the same time because he's got that from me.

travelswithtea · 21/10/2014 15:19

Grin JubJub good phone manners are really rare these days. I applaud.

OP posts:
TarkaTheOtter · 21/10/2014 15:20

Dd (2) "I never get what I want" and lots of "it's not funny", "oh my goodness".

Also, looking in the mirror at her outfit: "hmmm, need something, hmm". I suggested tights, to which she replied "no... jewellry".
I am the least likely person to have ever said that so who knows where she has picked it up from.

She's also started saying "this is delicious, how did you make it?" when I give her food. It's very sweet but a little OTT for toast.

HesterShaw · 21/10/2014 15:24

My friend's child aged three responded in exasperation when being urged to hurry up with her shoes: "Oh WOULD YOU give me some peace and quiet so I can do my buckles!"

:o

She was very affronted when we fell about laughing.

JubJubBirds · 21/10/2014 15:28

'She's also started saying "this is delicious, how did you make it?" when I give her food. It's very sweet but a little OTT for toast.'

At least you're being appreciated! Grin

moxon · 21/10/2014 15:28

It's very sweet but a little OTT for toast.

Grin

moxon · 21/10/2014 15:36

Xposted, doubly enjoyed.

HRMumness · 21/10/2014 15:42

DD (2 years old) was whinging and having a bit of a tantrum about bedtime, while I was sitting next to her cot. I started doing an exaggerated tantrum to make her snap out of it and she looked at me and said "No tears, Mummy".

This morning while waiting in the dentist, she asked for "a magazine to read".

JubJubBirds · 21/10/2014 15:44

Another one from the same DNephew:
My DSis was putting away a load of clean washing that my DM had washed/dried/ironed for her. While she was doing this she said to him "Isn't nanny nice to have done all this for me?" To which he replied, "Yeah. So where did you two meet?"

Redesigned · 21/10/2014 15:44

Using adult language when speaking to little ones has drawbacks.
DD1 was told by her father that a certain toy was defunct.
She spent months telling all and sundry that items were 'fuc't Blush

travelswithtea · 21/10/2014 15:49

She spent months telling all and sundry that items were 'fuc't
Yeah. So where did you two meet?
Laughing a lot!

OP posts:
NigellasGuest · 21/10/2014 15:51

I am laughing at all of these especially the OTT for toast one and So where did you two meet?!1 Grin

Summerisle1 · 21/10/2014 15:55

Dgd (3.9) has always been a very keen listener and stores up various little gems for future use. So recently she asked my dil "Oh, Mummy, what are you LIKE?"!

But her other grandmother was a tad taken aback to be told, very solemnly "Grandma, I'd rather like it if you stopped pissing me off". Her 20 year old uncle was suspected of using this particular expression too close to 3 year old ears so got a telling off!

ds2 (dgd's father) was noted for his strangely Edwardian turns of phrase though. At 4 and on a long walk, he sat down with his gf for a rest after announcing "Grandad and I are taking the weight off our legs and having a jolly little chinwag at the same time".

MagicMojito · 21/10/2014 16:11

Me shouting at dd1 for writing in red felt on the cream walls of our privately rented house and her telling me to just calm down and make a cup of tea Grin Grin Grin Grin

MagicMojito · 21/10/2014 16:17

dd1 is 2 by the wayShock

FoolishFay · 21/10/2014 16:36

My 6 year old DD is very fond of popping in 'if I do say so myself...'

As her birthday is during half term she's having a party in November. When asked if she was doing anything on the day itself she said 'yes, a little lunch party...'

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Birley1 · 21/10/2014 16:39

My ds (he is 2.5) often uses phrases that sound quite adult......eg when I give him a biscuit/toy he likes/treat of some sort he says "oh mummy that is sooo kind of you" and if you ask him how his day has been he will say "not too bad, how was work?"

waithorse · 21/10/2014 16:45

I love this thread. Grin

spiderlight · 21/10/2014 16:53

When DS was about 3, he shot off the end of a slide into a puddle at the park, stood up, dusted himself down and muttered 'Inconcievable...'

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