to be disappointed that someone didn't offer

(167 Posts)
BillyNotQuiteNoMates Mon 20-Jan-14 02:25:01

I've just read the thread about a train journey with a buggy and it put me in mind of a situation I saw recently. I wondered how many people would have moved..
I boarded an aeroplane with my DH and 5 DCs, none of whom had flown before and were all nervous (truth be told, I'm terrified myself) there weren't enough seats in one row for all of us so DH sat between 2 DCs, I sat between 2 DCs and oldest sat alone (he didn't mind). Plane filled up and just before take off, a young family boarded. There was a Mum with a baby, a Dad and young girl (approx 2yo). There were no seats together, so Mum sat in a single seat with baby on lap, Dad sat in another with DD behind him. She was distraught, obviously scared and broke her heart. He was trying to hold her hand but couldn't because everyone needed to be strapped in. I was really shocked that no-one offered to swap with him so he could sit with his DD, even if it had just been for the take-off, and it was only an hour long flight anyway. I genuinely would have done so myself if my own DCs hadn't been so nervous. I don't know how they got to the airport but if they were on a transport bus, they would have had no control over what time they got to the airport (in case people post that they should have got there earlier). So, if you had no DCs to consider, would you have offered?

NatashaBee Mon 20-Jan-14 02:29:14

What airline was it? If its one where you can pre book seats in advance then I probably wouldn't be that sympathetic, but I would move. For an hour's flight I wouldn't be that fussed where I sat really.

SkinnedAlive Mon 20-Jan-14 02:30:31

I almost always travel alone and am very happy to swap seats to help someone out, so yes I would offer if I saw that sort of situation. I am surprised one of the cabin crew didn't ask someone to move/arrange it for them. Poor little girl sad

BillyNotQuiteNoMates Mon 20-Jan-14 02:32:30

No pre-booked seats, just first come, first served (cheap skates that we are! grin)

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Mon 20-Jan-14 03:04:21

Yes, I would, and have, moved in similar circumstances.

I'm not sure really how that helps you though.

Some people are inconsiderate/oblivious/arseholes.

Some people try not to be any of the above grin

Hope you enjoyed the rest of your trip.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Mon 20-Jan-14 03:21:58

Which airline? Children are supposed to be seated with an adult in case of emergencies. It wasn't the other passengers in the wrong, it was the airline.

nooka Mon 20-Jan-14 03:45:18

I suspect the problem was that they were so late there was no time to make any changes, it was more of a get you on and sat down and then off we go. On a short flight people don't tend to move at all, so unless the people sitting immediately next to the dad/daughter offered their seats probably no one else particularly noticed. Plus unless the person immediately next to them moved it would have needed two people to change seats, so would have needed a couple to offer, or a more complicated seat swop.

So given that I might not have offered because it wouldn't really help. I have swopped seats on occasion, and for longer flights. Last time I offered to move so that parents with tiny twins (3mths I think) could sit together, but the dad told me that they had been told by the airline that they couldn't have the babies in adjacent seats.

twofalls Mon 20-Jan-14 03:49:45

YANBU at all but there will be loads that disagree with you, which I think is shocking. The last thread I saw on this subject ran and ran.....

NickNacks Mon 20-Jan-14 04:37:35

Nooka that's because there's only one extra oxygen mask per row so you're only allowed one infant on lap per row.

smile

GoldenDomino Mon 20-Jan-14 05:00:17

I wouldn't have moved, but for my own personal reasons rather than simply being an inconsiderate arsehole.

If if was possible to book seats and they wanted to sit together, they should have booked them. If it wasn't possible, then it's unfortunately just tough luck. I don't think it's anything to be disappointed about, but feelings can never be wrong so YANBU in that respect.

MidniteScribbler Mon 20-Jan-14 05:07:57

The thing is that is is rarely as simple as everyone should move to accommodate someone with a child. People often have reasons for booking the seats that they do. For me, it's because I am extremely claustrophobic, and sitting in a middle or window would make for a nightmare of a flight. If my aunt is travelling she needs an aisle due to complications from cancer a few years ago meaning if she needs to go to the bathroom, she has to go now. People also want to travel with their travelling companions, or they may need to do work with their seatmate during the flight.

And as we have seen on every other thread of this type, the approach is also a big part of it. Using phrases such as "would you mind?", "is it possible", "is there any chance", and the old faithfuls of "please" and "thankyou" get you a lot further than "I haz reproduced, move it" or the inevitable "well I'll plonk my child there and let them puke all over you" threat that gets raised.

I've moved once. A gentleman approached me and used the key phrases above, and it was a straight aisle to aisle swap. When the drinks trolley came round, the flight attendant told me my drink was already taken care of because he had paid for it. Everyone happy (especially me after a free glass of wine).

JeanSeberg Mon 20-Jan-14 05:17:35

I'm trying to think of an airline that doesn't offer speedy boarding or seat selection at an extra cost. Which one was it?

WhenWhyWhere Mon 20-Jan-14 05:19:53

This is why I don't fly on cheapo airlines confused.
I would have moved because I would feel sorry for the little girl but I would have secretly been very judgey about why they didn't book seats or arrive at the airport/departure gate quicker.

It sounds odd that this happened. It's strange that a 2 year old would be seated away from their parents???? hmm

Which airline was it?

purplemurple1 Mon 20-Jan-14 05:56:15

Weird the airline didn't sort it out - I got asked to move at 18 so a 19yr old could sit with his parents. I did and definnately would for a 2 yr old if someone asked or I was in a seat that would help.

HoneyandRum Mon 20-Jan-14 06:06:30

My guess is it was Ryan Air, we fly quite a lot on budget airlines with our three kids (always book seats in advance if we can) and all the other airlines are very reasonable about helping families with small children. I have only seen shocking behavior from the airline from Ryanair - to the point that other passengers have rebelled.

GoodnessKnows Mon 20-Jan-14 06:11:59

A little one was upset and in distress. Of course I'd move.

KepekCrumbs Mon 20-Jan-14 06:12:01

It is sad that noone would offer regardless of circumstances. The family may have not realised how hard it would be to sit together, or maybe it was an emergency last minutes flight because a relative was sick... anyway a child was distressed and most people you'd think would want to help alleviate that situation. .. did he ask?

JeanSeberg Mon 20-Jan-14 06:17:32

You can pay extra for priority boarding with ryanair.

Morgause Mon 20-Jan-14 06:27:55

I'm a very nervous flier which is why we always book seats to make sure we sit together and that I have a window seat.

Nothing would make me move to sit away from DP, especially not a family who could have booked seats together but chose not to.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but no way am I starting a holiday with a panic attack.

KepekCrumbs Mon 20-Jan-14 06:30:58

Fair enough but lots of people are not like that.

CrohnicallySick Mon 20-Jan-14 06:37:24

Technically the little girl wasn't seated away from her parents, the airline guidelines are same row, or seated in front of/behind parent.

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 20-Jan-14 06:38:01

I swapped seats so a couple could sit together once, and they ate my pre-ordered veggie meal. Which on an 8 hour flight meant I didn't get a meal to eat. So I'd not do it again. Because people are often just out for themselves and screw everyone else.

sarahquilt Mon 20-Jan-14 06:39:02

I would move if I was flying on my own but not if I was flying with my own family.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 20-Jan-14 06:40:07

I have never understood why people that don't give up their seats are "nasty", "selfish" and "uncaring" when parents who refuse to book seats so that they and their children can sit together aren't.

TheDoctrineOf2014 Mon 20-Jan-14 06:40:12

But who could see them? and presumably it only became clear that the girl was distressed after the plane began moving?

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