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To be upset at a silly comment on fb

(250 Posts)
skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 21:35:49

Cut a long story short DH is in New Zealand for his sisters wedding, it's really hot there, I have SAD, love sunshine and I posted pics on fb for him to see the snow my SIL said ' and today in NZ it will be scorchio' I commented 'thanks I feel so much better now' I just think she's really insensitive. My DH said she's not and if I carry on I'll make him have a shit time.

aldiwhore Sat 23-Mar-13 21:49:15

Given the history, your DH will know even more won't he? He'll know you're not happy with him going in the first place etc etc., therefore this isn't the first 'negative' comment he's heard (even though I vaguely remember that YWNBU to have been upset initially.

From his PoV it's just another example of you voicing your unhappiness at the situation. Hence the 'if you carry on' comment (I suspect).

He's there now, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. It's not a bad motto to live by, especially when there's naff all you can do about it.

It would be a point to you, and you could feel rather smug, if you'd put "YAY SNOW!!"

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 21:49:24

I'm hurt as she knows I would like to be there, in the sun and also DH comment about I'll make him have a shit time, I doubt that very much...

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 21:55:17

I'm just being mardy, feeling fed up of the snow and feeling crap generally so i guess IABU...

trixymalixy Sat 23-Mar-13 21:57:50

Yes YABU, she was not in any way being insensitive.

twinklesparkles Sat 23-Mar-13 21:58:01

Hang on... You're angry because its sunny in another country?? Just because your dh is there????

Erm....

Its sunny in other countries too.. Not just nz

Here, have my first ever biscuit

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 22:02:03

Thanks twinkle, honoured I feel soooo much better

Machli Sat 23-Mar-13 22:02:49

I'd be pissed off too but not with that comment at all but just the unfairness of the whole situation and I will admit I would probably be a bit sulky about it. I probably wouldn't be bothering to be in contact with him much at all to tell you the truth. Who cares what kind of time they're having, let them get on with it and do some fun things with dd.

Thingiebob Sat 23-Mar-13 22:02:49

Bizarre. I hope you are pleased the weather is nice for your sister in law's wedding.

Or would you rather it was shit for her special day?

Robinredboobs Sat 23-Mar-13 22:03:21

Yeah, because people with depression just need to get over themselves, right? YABU OP, but you already know that and theres clearly a lot of people on MN without any experience dealing with/knowing a person with a mental disorder.

Machli Sat 23-Mar-13 22:04:51

I wouldn't want it to be shit for her big day but I wouldn't have a whole lot of interest in it either. Why would you?

LondonNinja Sat 23-Mar-13 22:05:08

YABU but here's a wine as this weather (here) is pissing me right off, too.

Don't overanalyse the comment from your SIL. Make your mind up to do some nice things while you have the chance, as he's away (nothing dodgy, but YKWIM).

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 22:06:37

I'm not a bad person, I want them all to have a fab day, just sorry that we have been excluded from a family occasion when we should all be there in the SUNSHINE!

idiot55 Sat 23-Mar-13 22:08:42

sorry you are feeling this way but you need to make the most of the situation and get yourself some "me " time and do something for youself while hes away, go out with friends. Lifes too short for worrying about this

exoticfruits Sat 23-Mar-13 22:08:57

Were you excluded or was it just you could only afford for DH?

foxache Sat 23-Mar-13 22:09:27

Op, you sound really fed up with being left out, I don't blame you. Possibly the sister was being a bit mean and winding you up, but ignore it. It's an 'old' family get-together, it doesn't mean you're undervalued, just they're having sibling and parent time which is precious.

It's hard for you to be left behind but try to see it positively for them, not anti-you.

I think the negative comments here are because of the FB thing, facebook is horrible!

INeedThatForkOff Sat 23-Mar-13 22:09:44

So why didn't they opt for the economy tickets so you could all go? In those circumstances I'd be pissed off at them rubbing my nose in it via a glib FB comment too, tbh.

ENormaSnob Sat 23-Mar-13 22:09:52

I can't believe the selfish prick went anyway tbh.

Did he take all your savings or will you and the dc actually get to do something this year?

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 22:11:03

Well I think we were, the price of 1 bus class ticket could have paid for all of us FIL didn't offer to pay for me and DD....that's ok good of him to pay for DH but he did want him to go with him in MIL place

SergeantSnarky Sat 23-Mar-13 22:11:12

Wow OP you seem to be getting a rough time on here.
I understand where you are coming from - you are stuck in the cold holding the baby whilst your DH is having a sunny holiday with his sis and dad which you couldn't go on for financial reasons...the business class is salt in the wound.
The SIL comment in those circs is a bit snide - your husband 'being made to feel guilty' comment also crap given that he didn't hesitate in going without you.

So you are not unreasonable to feel a bit sorry for yourself but you really need to stop punishing yourself further. Get some hot choc/watch a dvd /toast some crumpets /make a snowman because at the end of the day you didn't stop DH from going and therefore you need to deal with fact he went and try not to brood. Resentment whilst understandable isn't helpful bit like my post

I would be expecting a decent pressie mind!

WorraLiberty Sat 23-Mar-13 22:12:22

I can understand you feeling left out and upset OP...particularly with the flight that was booked instead of economy (not sure why you're DH didn't suggest economy instead?).

But he's there now and he does have a point about you possibly spoiling it for him.

I'm just thinking that if you're like this over a facebook comment, are you also grouchy when he phones/texts you?

If so, it will spoil it for him.

FeijoaVodkaAndCheezels Sat 23-Mar-13 22:13:05

There is a serious draught in NZ right now. To the extent the govt are looking to give financial aid to farmers, which is not routine practice there.

Your SIL's comment probably came from the same kind of frustration that you are feeling about the late snow.

skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 22:15:50

Hey ENorma yes he did use our money for a new suit etc and of course spends of £500 what do you think if me and DD go on a holiday together which would cost about 1K (£500 each) later in the year. I showed DH the holiday and he said 'go if you want to' in a way which meant 'what without me?' and I felt bad now I'm kinda feeling I should book, not to get back at him but just something for us to look forward to cos right now with everything else going off in my life (shan't bore you with that but it's not good) I need something to look forward to..

wrongsideoftheroad Sat 23-Mar-13 22:17:38

Hang on.

So your FIL had booked tickets for him and MIL. MIL dropped out and FIL what...

a) amended MIL's ticket so DH could have it? or

b) wrote off the cost of MIL's ticket and then shelled out 3.5k to fly DH business class when he could have flown DH, you and your DD economy for the same price.

Which is it?

SavoyCabbage Sat 23-Mar-13 22:17:44

She might have been jealous of your snow. The heat can be very wearing and there is no escape from it sometimes. This week I had to go in the shower on fully dressed at my dds swimming lesson. Twice. Then I had to start the car and wait with the air con on, until the metal of the seat belts had cooled enough so I could touch it to strap my children in. It's not fun.

LondonNinja Sat 23-Mar-13 22:18:34

Book it! Why shouldn't you have a break?

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