One of those damned disabled toilet threads.

[ReindeerBollocks]

DS and I used a diabled toilet (well, I didn't but DS did).

DS has CF and although is affected by chest issues also has some considerable difficulties with his dietary and toilet needs. I.e. when he is suffering with a sore tummy and needs the toilet - he needs to go immediately or suffer an accident.

We were out today and despite keeping on top of all current meds and peg feeds, he had another episode. But there was a queue in the femal toilets (DS is 7 and while he normally uses the men's he wanted to use the womens with me as he was in considerable pain). I took him in the disabled toilet instead, thinking that he has a medical need and therefore entitled to us it. Except there was a man waiting with a disabled lady insisting we not use this toilet and wanting management involvement. I explained about DS's condition and that he needed to go but this gentleman was not convinced and thought that as the toilet was designed with wheelchairs in mind, that we should not have used the toilet.

So who was right? I didn't think I was being unreasonable, DS has had accidents before due to his condition, and whilst it's not technically a disability I feel his need does outweigh those of ordinary use and therefore entitled to use the toilet. This isn't my first AIBU thread about toilet use, for that I apologise profusely.

[FutureNannyOgg]

I would say he has every right to use it, he has a disability, and he needed it.

[ElfOfThePerverse]

YANBU - not all disability is visible so this man should have kept out of it.

[KalSkirata]

disablity does not = wheelchair

[elliejjtiny]

You are definately right. Disabled toilets are for people with mobility issues, yes, but also for people with continence problemslike your ds, or people with autism who are frightened of the hand dryers. You and your ds shouldn't have to put up with that. I hope your ds is feeling better now. My cousin had CF so I remember a little of the difficulties involved.

[tumble8]

I think you were completly right. My child is tube fed and has urgency needs ao I can understand where you are coming from.

Do you have a radar key? Ive considerd applying but ..?

It wouldnt have mattered in this situation.
I think the gentleman was wrong, hoping you dont encounter someone like him again.

[Backtobedlam]

YANBU-the toilets aren't just for wheelchair users, your son obv.needed to go quickly so I don't see the problem.

[fallon8]

I have cancer.It is not visible to the naked eye..I use a disabled loo and feel i should not have to explain to the general public why..Go for it,its nothing to do with them.She may have got out of that wheelchair and walked for all we know.

[anniebear]

you were totally right. My DD (has special needs but its not visible) she can lock the doors if allowed in the cubicle on own then can't always open it. I often go into a disabled toilet with her for this reason and others

I hope you still went and used it ?

[HappyCamel]

YANBU. I frequently use disabled loos, not because I'm disabled but often that's where they put the baby changing table too. In the cases where it isn't also for baby changing then its for anyone with mobility issues or an unavoidably urgent need to use it, your son falls in to the latter category as do heavily pregnant women. Sometimes people with mobility issues have to wait, they may have less urgent need than you do.

[anniebear]

tumble8 , why apply for a radar key? by us, you can go and buy one for 50p from the Disability place in town

[champagnevanity]

I was in town before Christmas, and with my pram, went into the ladies toilet and left my pram outside the cubical, as i was coming out a member off staff, from the shop told me i as i was with a pram i had every right to use the disabled toilets,

Now i probably wouldn't have done, but it goes to show not everyone is an ass, You wasn't in the wrong and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

[south345]

I used the disabled toilet today as ds2 was asleep in the pushchair and I wasn't going to wake him up or leave him outside the cubicle, yanbu

[therealsantaisagrinch]

I would recommend getting a radar key, i have one for my 'hidden' issue which requires very very urgent access and as i am not in a wheelchair being able to show my radar key if necessary gives me that extra confidence if questioned....

[thepeoplesprincess]

YANBU, and I would say this whether your son had health issues or not. Toilets are there to be used, shirley?

[mrsjay]

disabled toilets are not just for wheel chair users its for everybody with needs i guess is the right word , I wish they didnt have a wheelchair on them , although alot are going over to accesible toilets instead so people with prams can use them , anyway i need to use the disabled toilet sometimes and i have had some looks , you rpoor son i hope he is ok ,

[Dawndonna]

My dd is a wheelchair user, we would not have had a problem. TBH you should have told him to go jump in the proverbial.
As for the pram issue, we've let people in with our key before.
x

[Serenitysutton]

Yabu- they are wheelchair accessible toilets, not toilets for people wity any kind of disability/ medical need.

Have you not noticed that the Only difference between a disabled loo and a normal loo is that one is wheelchair accessable?

Mind you as I've said before I think anyone should use them. So yanbu using it but you are bu doing so becuase you think you are entitled through your sons disability.

[Dawndonna]

That was not a kiss, it was me, missing the keyboard!

[roastparsnipsandbrusselsprouts]

YANBU - your ds needed the toilet, quite possibly far more urgently than the lady in a wheelchair. Those in wheelchairs are not the only people who need care and consideration. People's difficulties come in many forms.

[ReindeerBollocks]

See I normally get a bit grouchy with parents who use diabled toilets just because they have children, as I do appreciate that it's not the same.

However, I did think this was different, didn't help that we were in the toilet for twenty minutes - DS went initially but then still went a couple of times afterewards. Sorry this is getting graphic.

But we met this gentleman on the way out and his argument was that the toilets were specifically for those with a wheelchair as they made the toilets to those specifications, not just for urgent use.

I kind of saw his point but obviously I thought my DS's needs were more important at the time. I have never normally argued against disabled toilets and their purpose but this time I genuinely felt conflicted.

[SusanneLinder]

I also use a disabled toilet (sometimes) as I have similar issues (probably) to therealsantaisagrinch.

Disabled does NOT mean wheelchair as anyone with a blue badge can tell you. I really hate the top trumps on "my disability is worse than yours.

[OnemorningXmasCockMonkey]

YANBU. They ARE for anyone with any kind of disability or medical need. Not just for people in wheelchairs.

[SusanneLinder]

But maybe the wheelchair user could have waited where someone with an urgent medical need could not (well not without severe embarrassment anyway)

[ReindeerBollocks]

Serenity - this was a disabled toilet not a wheelchair only toilet. Still I don't think a wheelchair only sign is definite enough. For example lots of parking spaces are covered with a wheelchair sign but are not just for wheelchair uses but all those with the correct blue badge.

Problem is wheelchair = disability. But i don't feel this is sufficient enough to specify whether it's wheelchair only or all disabilities. Hence the thread.

[ReindeerBollocks]

Definitive enough*