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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would your DH/P think that these are acceptable things to say to you, or do I have permission to clock mine over the head with something heavy?

196 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 16/06/2011 14:04

We were looking for holiday clothes for me. Why any input from him is required I have no idea, he seems to think he has a right to tell me how to dress, but that is a whole other thread.

During looking for swimming costumes:

  1. "No, I don't like that one, all your belly fat will hang out all over the place. You know how paranoid you are about your belly fat"
OP posts:
Happymm · 16/06/2011 14:06

The latter:o

TechLovingDad · 16/06/2011 14:06

Why are you with him?

feckwit · 16/06/2011 14:06

And you are with him because...?

whyme2 · 16/06/2011 14:07

Hit him hard until he stops talking at least.

Flisspaps · 16/06/2011 14:07

They're not supportive. He can't even dress it up as being honest - that's just being cuntish.

I assume that he's perfection embodied in a human form?

Pinkjenny · 16/06/2011 14:07

My dh is a little more interested in my weight than I would like, also. But those comments are just vile. You can definitely hit him.

TechLovingDad · 16/06/2011 14:07

Flisspaps, sorry for the hijack. Your name is brilliant Grin

LadyBeagleEyes · 16/06/2011 14:08

He sounds really horrible OP.
I'm Shock.
Is he perfect then?

AgentZigzag · 16/06/2011 14:09

I ask my DH what he thinks and expect him to tell the truth in a nice way (ie 'the other one looked better', 'your arse looks great in that one' etc).

But he would never volunteer his view, or go on and on about fat spilling over the top, or google 'fat models' Shock

Cheeky fucker Angry

Why wouldn't he want you to feel good about the way you look?

And what's his style/body like?

LDNmummy · 16/06/2011 14:10

Thats not even being honest as Flisspaps said. That is unecessary and mean.

I assume he is built like an Adonis?

Witchofthenorth · 16/06/2011 14:10

Def not supportive! Hit him then tell him he couldn't possibly buy those trunks for holiday, they make his already teeny weeny dick look even smaller! Grin

DooinMeCleanin · 16/06/2011 14:11

Flissflaps, he reckons he just wants to be 'honest, so I look my best' Hmm

He is hardly a skinny minnie himself and weighs over 18 stone, he is 6ft though. I have no idea why I am with him atm. No jury would convict me, right? Wink

OP posts:
TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 14:13

He's got a real problem with your weight, hasn't he? Sad

No, He's not supportive or helpful. His comments come across like they are designed to belittle you and put you down.

Either sit him down and tell him how offensive he is, or perhaps start making similar comments to him, see how he likes it.

MollysChamber · 16/06/2011 14:13

I did laugh at googling "overweight swimwear models". What a tosser.

If my DH had said those things to me I think I would have either burst into tears or done him some serious harm.

"Make" you use a cross trainer ffs.

LDNmummy · 16/06/2011 14:14

Being 6ft and over 18 stone means he is no Adonis and should practice what he preaches.

Silly man.

AuntieMonica · 16/06/2011 14:14

to answer your question...my DH would not find these things acceptable to say to me.

and not because it doesn't apply either.

he's not being very nice to you OP Sad

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 16/06/2011 14:15

Fuck me, I'd kill him. When he next 'helpfully' comments on your weight, tell him "I can always lose weight and tone up, but you'll still be a vindictive, spiteful bastard."

Then leave him.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 16/06/2011 14:15

Well, if you ever want to be childish, you could always tell him that you'd probably have sex more often if he got rid of his belly so his cock wasn't engulfed by his gut.

But that would be mean and unhelpful. So you should probably be more mature than I'd be and just have a straight conversation with him where you tell him that it is not nice of him to make hurtful comments to someone he is supposed to love.

LeQueen · 16/06/2011 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LDNmummy · 16/06/2011 14:15

Ooh I do envy that you own a cross trainer though, wish I had the space for one.

DooinMeCleanin · 16/06/2011 14:15

Well obviously at that point I did tell him exactly where I would be putting the cross trainer. He seemed genuinely surprised that he had upset me Hmm

OP posts:
GreenTeapot · 16/06/2011 14:16

Yes, that would cross a line. I think he thinks he's being helpfully honest and blunt but in fact he's being a twat. Hit him, but while he's reeling I think it would be wise to spell out that he's making you feel like shit and until (and even if) he's a specimen of athletic beauty could he please zip it.

zukiecat · 16/06/2011 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icelollycraving · 16/06/2011 14:17

Hit him. Hit him hard.
I would start googling swimwear for men with atrophied genetalia due to them being overweight & leave that as his screensaver.
Wanker.

minipie · 16/06/2011 14:17

"You're fat remember"

Shock Angry Sad

No, my DH would not ever say anything like this to me. Nor I to him. We know each others' sensitivities and we are as tactful and nice as possible about them.

I think you need to have a serious conversation with him about why he is saying such hurtful things. Is he trying to goad you into losing weight? It won't work. Is he trying to make sure you wear flattering clothes? Well then he can tell you in a more tactful way? Is he trying to put you down and make you feel like shit.. ?