The invisible men project

(1000 Posts)
ArmyOfPenguins Mon 06-May-13 22:45:42

I think it's important that the buyers' choices in prostitution are highlighted and shared. This project was linked to on FB. Thoughts? I think it's a great idea.

YoniTime Wed 08-May-13 20:56:41

Ooh, is someone trying to impersonate posters here in order to make us look bad? How desperate.

You don't have to invent quotes from punters to make them look bad. Simply collecting their true thoughts like the link in OP makes a very good anti-prostitution (anti punter?) argument.

Sunnywithshowers Wed 08-May-13 21:12:41

What a massive surprise. And the usual previously banned poster who seems a bit obsessed with radfems attacking prostitutes...

arsenaltilidie Wed 08-May-13 22:14:29

thedoctorine yes of course and those issues should be tackled.
Prostitutes should be helped leave the industry.

Anyfucker I have never nor do I intend to use a prostitute in my life.

I have friends in the police force and family members who work for social services. Basically a lot of girls will refuse to leave because the money is good and they've come to rely on it.
Hence I started to research a bit more on the matter.
I just don't buy 'prostitutes are victims and the punters are abusers.'

As for paedophiles, the sentencing is not enough!!
Suspended sentences,community service are utter BS.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 08-May-13 22:47:39

Hi arsenal

Do you think that fact that a number of prostitutes have those issues makes it less likely that the vast vast majority are willingly in the job?

Kiwiinkits Mon 13-May-13 04:27:18

Oh my god I wish I had never read that. Truly despicable.

MsJupiterJones Mon 13-May-13 07:36:00

That is chilling.

I just don't understand why so many people feel the need to defend the sex industry. People who claim not to use it but somehow take umbrage at the idea that an industry which they consider the lowest of the low might just be a last resort for the women who work in it.

arse if you really think that if your daughter became a prostitute then you would have failed her, what makes you think that the women who do have not been failed by someone? A neglectful or abusive parent, a violent partner. There is more than one way to skin a cat and 'willingness' to sell one's body is unlikely to have been an uncomplicated choice. Why is it so hard to admit that?

Catlike thanks for all your comments on this thread which have been so insightful.

littlethings1 Fri 17-May-13 04:45:16

There are over 80,000 field reports on punternet.

That site has picked out only 16 of the worst ones.

Doesn't that tell you it is a problem with a small minority of individuals who aren't representative of the typical punter?

arsenaltilidie Fri 17-May-13 08:49:57

mrsjupiter would have failed to show my daughter that there are more ways to earn money than selling your body.
IF she came from an abusive background, then how come others from a similar background are not prostitutes.
Why cant you admit that most prostitutes do enter the industry 'willingly' because of the money.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 17-May-13 09:13:39

Hi arsenal

What proportion of prostitutes would have to come from an abusive background before you thought this was a problem? 30%? 50%? 70%?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 17-May-13 09:17:03

Hi littlethings

How many of the 80,000 did you read to get the impression that these are 16 of the worst?

arsenaltilidie Fri 17-May-13 13:50:39

IF she came from an abusive background, then how come others from a similar background are not prostitutes?

Lioninthesun Fri 17-May-13 14:29:19

arse you are a man and apparently don't use prostitutes, yet some men do. Get the idea? People are all different. That doesn't mean you can abuse them and think it is alright because they don't know any better.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 17-May-13 16:53:37

Hi arsenal

So are you saying that 100% of people who come from an abusive background would need to become prostitutes before you thought that might be a factor in the willing choice argument?

arsenaltilidie Fri 17-May-13 18:36:30

I'm a happily married man, if it might help, knowing someone is only having sex with me because of money is not something that has ever appealed to me and probably most men too.
Of course they know they are other jobs better, but they are just choosing an easy way out. If they are CHOOSING to enter into prostitution, how is that even abuse.

Would you say men who decides to work as gay prostitutes are victims, most probably not.
No I am saying "how come others from a similar background are not prostitutes?"
"How come other men choose to visit prostitutes others don't?"
Both cases they are choosing the easy way out. The former instead of getting yourself out of the situation through hard work, they choose to sell their body because they can get more money.
The latter instead of working on the reason why they dont connect with people, they choose the easy way out of paying someone for sex.
My point in this thread is punters and prostitutes are as bad as each other.

I think it's patronising to women to say prostitutes who CHOOSE to enter the industry are victims on the basis of they are women. Then how can we trust women to run society if they are capable of making wrong decision.
My belief is people are individuals regardless of sex. Some make good decisions some do not. And prostitution fall as a bad decision.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 17-May-13 18:41:33

Yes, I think men who work as gay prostitutes are likely to be from similar backgrounds re abuse etc.

"How can we trust women to run society if they are capable of making the wrong decision?" - Did you really just post that? On FWR? Yowser.

Lioninthesun Fri 17-May-13 18:45:21

Yeah...I'm struggling a bit with that sentence too snatch I think it was meant to be said with sarcasm or irony or something? Still trying to figure out which way is less offensive...

CoalDustWoman Fri 17-May-13 18:52:33

Why has this thread about the punters become about the women? Is it easier for some to identify with the former rather than the latter?

The link in the op is horrendous, but needed. I don't think most women know what a sizeable minority of men think about them as a group. Although, they get a fair glimpse via FWR, it has to be said.

FloraFox Fri 17-May-13 19:00:13

Coal because yanno it's all about choice and precious agency so as long as the punters and their lapdogs can convince themselves the women chose it, it doesn't matter that the punters are disgusting, that the women are treated like shit or the effect it has on the women or wider society.


WhentheRed Fri 17-May-13 19:21:40


I have several comments/questions on your post:

1. The comments on punternet are seriously called "field reports"? And I thought calling the comments product reviews was dehumanising. I take it that women who are engaged in prostitution are the "field", is that right?

2. How do you know that the "field reports" chosen by the invisible men project are the worst out of 80,000? I have no desire to go onto punternet but perhaps you could give us an example of one of the best "field reports"?

3. 80,000? Men have decided on no fewer than 80,000 occasions to post online reviews of the women whose bodies they have bought and the sex they have received.

Your post confirms my original post - the men who use prostitutes, and particularly those who comment on punternet, see those women as commodities to be bought, used in the manner that suits the punters, discarded, and then commented upon for the benefit of others.

As nasty as the comments are, I am glad the views of the punternet crowd are being publicised. It is really important to understand and fully appreciate what the punters actually do think of the women they buy.

Darkesteyes Fri 17-May-13 22:01:23

The former instead of getting yourself out of the situation through hard work

You have just said this on a feminism board when it is FACT that women are still paid less than men.

There are many women who are working hard in jobs like care work supermarkets and cleaners who will NEVER be paid enough to "get out of a situation" as you put it.

So your post betrays your political leanings as well as your gender biased ones.

Darkesteyes Fri 17-May-13 22:03:41

My post is directed at arsenal

arsenaltilidie Sat 18-May-13 01:33:38

Darkeyes How does the rate of pay affect the decision to enter into prostitution?
There are also many men who work hard who will NEVER be paid enough, the rate of pay among low income is another thread on its own.
However being should not be a reason to enter into prostitution unless you want an easy way out.
Doctorine and Lion Then how can we trust women to run society if they are capable of making wrong decision. sorry if you cant understand what I meant by that.

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