Apologies for this. I just need to write this down.
I am starting to think of the self-harm as being a parasite, like threadworms or head lice. It isnt the person, it is something feeding off the host teenager. Also, it is contagious.
And like thread worms or head lice it is extremely unlikely to clear up on its own.
My DD first started self harming about 2 years ago when she was 13. This outbreak was apparently in response to a difficult, bullying friendship. It was apparently just a week of scratching and cutting herself with scissors.
We reacted by surrounding DD with love and tried to help her build her confidence and distance herself from this bullying friendship. It seemed that the problem was solved.
Then about 6 months ago I noticed marks on DD's legs. Not cuts this time. I asked DD about them and got brushed off. I wasnt sure what the problem was but I was fairly sure it wasnt totally innocent. At the same time DD was 15 so I didnt feel in a position to force her to get help except in the practical sense of going to see the nurse to make sure that the marks on her legs were healing.
DD started leaving her legs exposed but was now covering her arms. Once or twice she would not cover up completely and I would see a mark. I asked her about these marks and would get brushed off.
Fast forward to yesterday. DD came downstairs with vomit on her clothes. In the early hours she had taken a shed load of paracetamol and other over the counter tablets. She was vomiting, feeling very ill. On medical advice (we are literally round the corner from our doctor who DH saw within 5 minutes) DH took DD to A&E. DD is now in hospital receiving treatment to protect her liver while the tablets work through.
Now looking back I can see that we made the mistake of thinking that the initial self harming would cure itself. It didnt and I wonder if our treatment made the problem worse by both rewarding the self harm and also pushing it out of sight. We didnt talk about the self harm, we wanted DD to focus on what we saw as the cause.
This was our mistake. We should have got help immediately for that first outbreak. Now the infection of self harm is worse. DD is older so her self harm has got more sophisticated. What a mess this is. We didnt do enough. We didnt take this seriously enough. Because of that DD has risked her life.
I spoke to the nurse in the children's ward where DD has been admitted. They see half a dozen or more self harm patients a week. So there are probably hundreds of families going through this today. If you are one of them you have my heartfelt sympathy.
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Teenagers
Self harming teenager
134 replies
GnomeDePlume · 28/07/2015 07:37
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