BelfastBloke's Rolling Footie Thread 2013-14 Season

(474 Posts)
Pan Sat 17-Aug-13 12:04:18

The rolling Football thread for Season '13-14 might as well start off in the traditional way with the same intro as did the original rolling Football thread all those seasons ago. But with the new tradition of leaving the musty changing room of Dadsnet...
We've been top heavy with premiership stuff but it's really for any footie played on the planet and beyond.

Footie fans please sign in with

1.Which team you support.
2.Which team(s) you loathe.
3.How you are getting your kids to follow the correct team.
4. A thought on the season (Premiership/Championship/Champions’ League/FA Cup/League Cup/all leagues world wide.)

DanFmDorking England Tue 24-Jun-14 18:57:59

England, what a load of rubbish ...

they do have one point in their favour...
.. out of a possible nine.

England's next game ???
.. they couldn't even beat Costa Coffee.

Watching England play is like the coffee in Starbucks:
Cold, tasteless, un-exciting and leaves you with the thought...
... I might just cheer for Costa.

How many England defenders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four: three to watch, while one screws it up.

Steve Gerrard has announced he's played in his last World Cup.
I wouldn't have called it 'played' Steven...

Let's face it, Susan Boyle had a bigger chance of scoring than England.

-

Louis Suarez's appetite for the World Cup continues with an Italian.

DanFmDorking England Sun 15-Jun-14 18:22:01

Roy Hodgson now has some really important decisions to make.
... Like, does he want a window or aisle seat.

As if things can’t get any worse for the England team,
... Gazza has just turned up at the hotel with a six pack and a fishing rod.

England will have a new captain next week.
... It's Dave Smith and he's the pilot for the flight home.

DanFmDorking England Sat 14-Jun-14 22:59:01

Every child should watch an England game,
... to really understand what hope & disappointment means.

The England squad visited a orphanage in Brazil today.
'It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope', said Jose, age 6.

What do you call the England football team on a plane?
... I'll tell you after their third game.

A Indian astrologer has forecast that England will win the World Cup.
... proof, if ever it was needed, that astrology is bollocks.

I don't know why England are so worried about the state of the pitch,
... the Italians will soon even it out with their constant rolling on the floor.

... Good luck lads!

Panwearsrosa Sun 18-May-14 09:18:45

Was coming onto say 'at f*****g last!

DanFmDorking England Sat 17-May-14 19:41:03
BelfastBloke Sun 11-May-14 21:02:53

Thanks Dan!

Some good ones.

Some not.

DanFmDorking England Sun 11-May-14 17:21:49

Right then - last day of the season - here we go

What goes BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP?
Liverpool's open top bus reversing back into the garage.

There's a huge sigh of relief from all the blokes that said they would get married when Liverpool won the league
...close one eh?

What ship has never docked in Liverpool?
The Premiership

BBC Weather reports that Liverpool's title hopes were been blown away by Gayle force winds.

Steven Gerrard walks into a Ba ...
... And that, son, is how Liverpool missed out on the 2014 Premier League title.

Two's Kompany, there's a trophy.

Which three English League teams have swear words in their name?
1) Arsenal.
2) Scunthorpe United.
3) Manchester Fucking United.

David Moyes W22 D9 L15...
P45.

Manchester United's owners, the Glazers, have denied knowing nothing about football, reminding us that they took advice from Fergie before appointing David Moyes.
Following his disastrous tenure, however, they have confirmed they won't be consulting her about the next manager.

David Moyes has been offered another job already!
The Great Britain Tobogganing Team have said they have been looking for years for someone who can push a team downhill at that sort of speed.

What's the difference between David Moyes and Primark?
Anything put together by Primark usually lasts more than a season.

David Moyes shouldn't worry about getting another job.
After receiving 4 million for being a complete failure, he'll be running a bank in no time.

Why was Ryan Giggs appointed Man Utd's caretaker manager?
... Well, he's an expert in playing away from home.

I've been a lot happier since I stopped supporting Chelsea and started watching paint dry.
It takes less than 90 minutes and i get to see a decent finish.

What's 3-inches long and never gets used?
The key to Arsenal's trophy cabinet.

Newcastle United manager Alan Pardew was been fined £100,000 for headbutting a Hull player during a match.
It was a shocking scene. People aren't used to seeing a football manager use his head.

Thank god Manchester United offered Wayne Rooney a £300,000 a week deal.
I was getting worried that he wasn't able to survive on £250,000 a week.

What do Manchester and Istanbul have in common?
They both have only one half in Europe!

Fulham fans, if you turn your ipad to the portrait position you can save time scrolling to find your league place.

Quick, quick put Sky Sports 3 on - I want to watch Tottenham Villa
... said no-one ever.

Two policemen were horrified to find a number of the Northern Ireland football team playing football with a hedgehog yesterday.
They were just about to phone the RSPCA when they realised the hedgehog was beating them four nil.

Vincent Tan has said that he will consider a change in Cardiff City's kit colour, to match the teams mood.
Blue.

++++

Congratulations Man City

Farewell to Cardiff City, Fulham and Norwich

Good Luck to Leicester City, Burnley and ???

++++

... and then there's the world Cup ...

I said to the wife, "I've been thinking a lot about what you said. You know, 'I always put football over you'."
"And?" she replied.
I said, "Well I've just been down the travel agents and booked us a holiday for the summer."
"Ooh, where we going?" She asked.
"Brazil"

So, Roy Hodgson went to Brazil to look at the facilities.
He should be quite impressed with the leather sofas in the airport departure lounge.

The FA are 'freaking out' over security in Rio.
England should be ok; it’s not as if they'll have a trophy to steal.

Roy Hodgson is employing a psychologist to help England with penalties in the World Cup
Penalties?
You’ve got to admire his optimism.

Panwearsrosa Sun 11-May-14 14:35:40

Further tough choices: Prem on Sky v Giro on Eurosport.

Panwearsrosa Sun 11-May-14 14:22:31

Spursday - ha.

BelfastBloke Sun 11-May-14 14:15:23

You don't want to be in Khazakstan on Channel 5 on a Spursday.

Panwearsrosa Sun 11-May-14 14:08:51

or Citeh crowing or scouse tears. No answer BB, just a guarantee of some solace!

Europa? Nope. Playing another 100 matches, and away in Khazakstan on a Thursday before Arse on a Sunday wouldn't help.

BelfastBloke Sun 11-May-14 13:53:46

And the answer to that question is ….?

Panwearsrosa Sun 11-May-14 13:33:20

Difficult last day.

Do we want Europa?

Which is best/worst - Citeh fans in tears or Liverpool fans smiling. Tough.

DanFmDorking England Wed 07-May-14 21:32:41

Community singing at the Etihad:-

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard
He slipped on his f*cking a*se
He gave it to Demba Ba
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard

Steeeeeeev Gerrard ...

BelfastBloke Fri 02-May-14 10:11:56

Yes, St Totteringham's Day was 29th April this year, after our Newcastle win the night before.

Panwearsrosa Thu 01-May-14 17:52:04

I dare say St Tottingham Day has passed us by?

PansBigChainring Sun 27-Apr-14 17:02:10

Tough isn't it?

"Cat shit or dog shit?"
"Ermm..."

BelfastBloke Sun 27-Apr-14 16:32:34

chucklesome, even though id prefer the scousers to take the title this season, over the contenders

PansBigChainring Sun 27-Apr-14 16:10:17

That's a shame for Gerrard and Liverpool. A real real shame....

PansBigChainring Sun 27-Apr-14 12:07:45

I'd really like Mike Phelan back in as The Experienced One. Not sure van Gaal isn't too explosive and would want to shift in his own assistants. Trouble is, if Giggsy remains as an assistant the players may well want to 'follow' him and not the manager. And we are back to square one.

BelfastBloke Sun 27-Apr-14 08:45:48

Welcome alAswad

One of the journo's on Sky Sunday Supplement thinks Ryan Giggs should be the permanent manager because he "looked managerial" in his first game in charge.

He was "suited and booted" and the atmosphere was "exciting". As if that has anything to do with running a large football club.

DanFmDorking England Sat 26-Apr-14 14:35:55

Super superb Southampton! - splendid!

alAswad Germany Wed 23-Apr-14 00:55:01

Bloody hell it took me f'rever to find this board! So this is where all the men are grin Add me to the Liverpool list - I should loathe Man U really but they're a bit too shit for us top-of-the-league types to bother with atm, so I'll just put Chelsea for number 2.

DanFmDorking England Mon 21-Apr-14 20:28:28

Latest Reports: Moyes to be sacked within 24 hours, or 25 hours if you listen to Sir Alex.

PansBigChainring Mon 21-Apr-14 20:20:33

or even few games....but line up the replacement for pre-World Cup, close season, window and pre-season tour.

I am available.grin

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