Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Can we have a thread about ways in which your partner initiates sexual intercourse?

(353 Posts)
FrannyandZooey Wed 30-Jan-08 20:35:35

Do they use certain words or phrases? Or is it more of an action thing?

and is it just mine who tries to think up comedy ones? hmm

Actually, have just realised.. one of us shuts the bedroom door.

That can only mean one thing.

And it is to reduce the chances of teenage dc overhearing anything. (Younger dc just snore merrily on).

I have never really worked out HOW one is supposed to shag when there is a teenager in the next room, but obviously, needs must sometimes...

Is rutting and jack-russelling the same as "dry humping"? DH does it as a joke, when I'm unloading the washer or something.. but it inevitably means he wants a shag..

DrNortherner Wed 30-Jan-08 20:50:32

Great answer for 'why don't you sit on my face'

Oh yes please I prefer that actually, cause your nose is much bigger than your cock.

ZippiBabes Wed 30-Jan-08 20:50:57

well the last person to ask me this was last tuesday and he said

who is in the house

i said..my dd and her bf

he said i'll come over

i said no

he said they are having fun and you are all on your own

i said no they are asleep

he said you know you want to

i said no

he said call me when you are less busy
do you still have my number

i said yes i think so (txted him the word this to check)

he said i can come over

i said no

and i said night night

twas 3.00 am and he lives 45 minute drive away

then he rang me up lol

ok a bit convoluted but i am a joiner inner

lazarou Wed 30-Jan-08 20:50:58

lol

notjustmom Wed 30-Jan-08 20:51:13

Message withdrawn

DrNortherner Wed 30-Jan-08 20:51:39

We laugh when I tell dh he needs to woo me. He says you woo when you are 'courting' not when married ......

lazarou Wed 30-Jan-08 20:52:08

I normally say 'fancy a fook?'

DrNortherner Wed 30-Jan-08 20:53:12

How can you fancy a bit when unloading washing machine/washing up/prepearing dinner etc?

Why don't men get that?

I seriously think they think about sex all day long. And women just don't.

FrannyandZooey Wed 30-Jan-08 20:53:27

you see this thread is very illuminating and sometimes touching

carry on

fullmoonfiend Wed 30-Jan-08 20:54:41

If dh actually gets out of bed before me on a weekend and makes the children's breakfast...I know he's buying us some especial time...hmm

Other than that we do seem to be reasonably in choon with each other and just sort of turn to each other.

Every 6 seconds isn't it DrN?

DrNortherner Wed 30-Jan-08 21:00:12

It wouldn't suprise me if it was every 6 seconds. Think my dh does.

fullmoonfiend Wed 30-Jan-08 21:00:34

whoop! there he goes again...

AlistairSim Wed 30-Jan-08 21:01:57

Dp stands in the doorway, any doorway, rubs his hands together in the manner of a butcher wiping the blood of recently slaughtered lambs from himself and says in a fake northern accent (because that's alluring, right?)

"Who's up for some rumpy-pumpy then?"

I can't believe we have ever had sex.

FrannyandZooey Wed 30-Jan-08 21:02:30

LOL at doorway

DrNortherner Wed 30-Jan-08 21:02:50

How did these men ever get a date?

fullmoonfiend Wed 30-Jan-08 21:03:31

Snigger, we lucky, lucky ladies, eh?

Do you fancy a little tickle?

Erm, no. Not when you put it like that I don't.

stuffitall Wed 30-Jan-08 21:08:08

i want a bit more than leg twitching
i would go for a northern accent and a bit of hand rubbing
indicates at least some excitement at the prospect

dyzzidi Wed 30-Jan-08 21:08:35

DH take your top off while i rub your back. cue 30 seconds of back rub before him wanting us both to be naked.

stuffitall Wed 30-Jan-08 21:08:53

or dry humping or ninja jumping

carmenelectra Wed 30-Jan-08 21:09:17

Shinyhappy, you must be having a relationship with my dp! He says the exact same thing!!grin.

Also, drnorthener my dp also'defuzzes' and presents himselfgrin

stuffitall Wed 30-Jan-08 21:10:03

or peering down my jeans or especially making breakfast and especially especially taking a shower

stuffitall Wed 30-Jan-08 21:10:43

ok who's managed to change their dh's wooing technique
and HOW

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now