DH and I have been married two and a half years and have a three month old DS. Before getting married I earned slightly more than him (couple of thousand a year) and we split joint contributions on a proportional basis.
We then had a period after marriage where we earnt the same so all joint contributions were split equally and we had the same amount of money for ourselves each month (we have a joint current account for bills and a joint savings account and then our own accounts).
DH has just got a new job with a significant pay rise (around 10k) and I am on maternity leave so reduced income and will hopefully be returning to work part time so there will be a big difference in our salaries going forward.
I feel that life would be a lot easier and fairer if we put all our money in one pot (siphoning some off into a joint savings account as well) and treated it as family money. DH doesn't feel that this is fair though as we didn't do this when I was earning more before we were married.
I am currently struggling every month for money and any spare I have goes into our joint savings as we are in the process of buying a new house and need money for legal fees, furniture etc. DH on the other hand always has money spare and has his own savings pot which I can't afford to do. He puts the same amount as me into joint savings, any spare goes into his personal savings.
I feel that this is unfair now that we are married and have a baby and our incomes are so different. But perhaps as DH has said I am being unfair as I was happy for it to be proportionate when I was the higher earner.
I suppose technically this should be in AIBU! So AIBU to feel that we should see money as family money now and not keep everything so separate.
Forgot to mention the separate thing is also a hassle as we end up owing each other money for stuff we bought with our own accounts and endlessly swapping money back and forth.
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Relationships
Managing money
nightandthelight · 11/05/2016 08:37
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