Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

To be a weeny bit suspicious of DP going to work today?

(404 Posts)
TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 11:09:26

DP owns his own company along with his business partner. He does sometimes work weekends but its always from home, today he has gone in to work in one of their popular city locations. It was a last minute plan that he announced on Friday. He said he needed a business meeting with his partner, but they're emailing each other every day and see each other at least once a week at work anyway so seemed a bit weird to give up a weekend day for this.

I've emailed him a couple of times this morning but not got a reply, but have had a text from him.

Am I reading too much in to nothing here? Just seems weird to go to work on a Sunday, text me but not read or reply to emails...?

youfhearted Sun 17-Mar-13 11:13:13

doesn't he tell you any more details?
is his business doing well? or don't you know?

just wait til he gets home. if he is in meeting he wont be able to respond to your questions.
have you not been together long?

toomanyfionas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:13:36

I think that if y are feeling suspicious, then possibly something is up.

Where do you think he might be if not at work?

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 11:16:13

I think there's something to be said for trusting your instincts. If it doesn't feel quite right then it probably isn't.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 11:17:53

His business is doing well, I don't know all the ins and outs of it but I see the pay cheques and he tells me stuff about it. He didn't give me many details about this meeting today, but I didn't want to question too much either.
We've been together over 5 years.

I understand he can't reply to emails when in a meeting but he sent me a text a couple of hours after I sent the email.

I do normally trust him, we have a good relationship. There's just something I can put my finger on about today

scratchandsniff Sun 17-Mar-13 11:20:55

Could him and business partner of been invited on some sort of corporate entertainment I.e. golf day etc? Something that he thought you might have been pissed off about not being invited to or may have stopped him going.

ivanapoo Sun 17-Mar-13 11:22:31

YANBU - trust your instincts but don't jump to conclusions. Any way you can check where his business partner is?

myheadwillexplode Sun 17-Mar-13 11:23:43

I think people should trust their partners. Having to work at a weekend is not a reason to distrust someone IMO. Talk to him tonight.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 13:49:14

I've said I do normally trust him myhead, there's just something about today that didn't seem quite right to me. He seemed worried when I questioned him last night.
He's still not answering my email and I've sent another since. If he was at work he would have his email thing open and would have replied by now.

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Mar-13 13:53:09

It's good sense to keep your eye on how things are, but try not to let your imagination run away with your or interpret things as him being up to something.

Keep it in the back of your mind and worry if you see something, otherwise presume there's an innocent explanation for today.

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:17:59

He's just rang and said he has to stop over in a hotel tonight hmm far too much work to do apparently

AgentZigzag Sun 17-Mar-13 14:19:31

Oooh, that's not going to put your suspicions to bed is it?

Is it normal for him to stop out because of work?

MrsTomHardy Sun 17-Mar-13 14:21:44

I'd say go with your gut instinct, it's rarely wrong. Sorry

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:24:00

How odd. Can you meet him for dinner at the hotel tonight?

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 14:24:26

Phone him and speak to him.

Or phone his business partner,use the excuse you can't seem to get through to dh's phone and ask him to hand the phone over to him.You'll soon see whether he actually is with the business partner or not.

It sounds suspicious to me too.Although I wouldn't automatically assume it's another woman.

drownangels Sun 17-Mar-13 14:25:23

Are you worried there could be a problem with the buisness, that he is seeing someone else or what?
If it seems odd to you then yes it is odd IYSWIM

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:26:49

He does stop occasionally but only if he's working the other end of the country, not our nearest city.
I asked him why he can't come home to work and he said he met a new client today and wants to take him out for dinner to work on getting him board with the company. It's all total bullshit.

I can't go meet him as stuck at home with our toddler.

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:27:39

Good idea to phone his business partner. Maybe block your number? It does seem strange - the lack of information is what would worry me. From what you have said, he is being evasive or, at least, economical with information...

It might be a big business problem, but he could should still share that without giving you chapter and verse.

StuffezLaBouche Sun 17-Mar-13 14:28:59

The facts on their own mean nothing, but I am a massive believer in that instinct and sense of something being not quite right. I hope it works out ok for you OP.

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:24

Hmm. Why can't he come home after dinner, though?

I'd be feeling unsettled if this happened to me. Whatever's going on, he's not exactly being inclusive!

TallDwarf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:38

I don't have his business partners number and we're not really on the best terms for being able to ring him like that.

I don't know what to do from here...

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:54

Three possibles which spring to mind:

1. As scratchandsniff suggested there is some sort of corporate shindig on to which you werent invited

2. The business is in some sort of very deep shit

3. There is something like a takeover going on. Right now he cant discuss it at all.

The over the top cloak and dagger secrecy suggests to me something which will be made public soon. The secrecy is for now not forever.

CajaDeLaMemoria Sun 17-Mar-13 14:35:50

How are you suspicious?

I mean, are you thinking he's seeing someone else, or worrying there is something wrong with the business, or is it just his behaviour causing general suspicion?

For what it's worth, I think he's being far too obvious to be seeing another woman, but calling his business partner would soon settle any doubts about whether he's actually 'on business'.

Dillydollydaydream Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:38

I'd be feeling quite suspicious right now if this was out of character for your dp.
My dh is usually very open about work meetings so if he was being cagey all of a sudden that would make me suspicious, he's had instances where he's had to make people redundant but he's always been upfront about what's going on.
You know if this behaviour is out of the ordinary for your dp.

HildaOgden Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:40

Have you any other reason to be suspicious about him? I have to say,I'm finding it quite strange how little you seem to know about his work.Just a couple of things you've said....you don't have his business partners number,you didn't want to question him about the meeting today....is it usual that you are so excluded from a whole area of his life?If so,then yes,it's possible that he is wining and dining a potential new client and is booking a hotel so that he isn't tied to times.

How long would it take him to travel home by taxi?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now