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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How long were you together before you had children?

125 replies

emkana · 31/03/2006 20:01

Friend of mine has just announced she is pregnant and they have been together 18 months, of which the first six months they weren't together "properly" because she was still married and with her dh.

I feel this is very soon and I worry if she is doing the right thing, but of course it's her choice.

Dh had been together over five years when I got pregnant, and I'm glad we had some childfree years together.

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LadySherlockofLGJ · 31/03/2006 20:03

9 years and whilst I was desperate for a baby, for most of them, I would not swap the solo years for any money.

Feistybird · 31/03/2006 20:05

15 years.

pinkmagic1 · 31/03/2006 20:07

Living together for 5 years and together for 7.

GDG · 31/03/2006 20:08

Got pregnant 9 months after getting married, so ds1 born 18 months into our marriage. By the time we were married 5 years we had 3 boys!

I always wanted to be on the younger side rather than older and wanted them close together - I'm just very fortunate that I was able to do it exactly as I wanted.

GDG · 31/03/2006 20:08

Oh OK, had been living together for 2.5 yrs when got pregnant.

Nbg · 31/03/2006 20:11

Been together for 3 years before I was pg.
Although we moved in together after going out for 6 months.

I did enjoy those 3 "free" years.

Does she have any other children?

emkana · 31/03/2006 20:12

No it's her first.

She tried for over a year to get pregnant with dh, didn't happen, then got together with other guy, now got pregnant after four weeks of not using contraception.

I don't think she expected it to happen this quick.

OP posts:

Posey · 31/03/2006 20:12

8 years together, but pretty much a honeymoon baby.

alittlebitshy · 31/03/2006 20:13

been together 3.5 years, married 10 months. dd was a deffo surprise honeymoon baby. I don't really regret it at all, but sometimes i wonder what having married life with me not pg or with dd would have been like. however, we sometimes say to each other that if dd hadn't "happened" lol how on earth would we have made the decision to ttc.

hoxtonchick · 31/03/2006 20:14

we'd been together a little under 2 years when i got (intentionally) pg. it was exactly what we both wanted.

gladbag · 31/03/2006 20:14

Together initially for 1 and a half years, but living 200 miles apart (very good for a relationship IMO, as we had to take things slowly, but talked constantly on the phone, and saw each other every other weekend or so and for holidays - if you can survive that, then there's always hope....) then 2 years living together. I was 37 when I concieved, so time was always going to be factor for us, but we were very ready and life is rosy.

bluebear · 31/03/2006 20:15

Dating for 3 months, engaged for 1 month. Still feel like we're on honeymoon, despite 2 children now.
We had been close friends for 6 years previous to dating though. (like a bad chick lit novel).

pooka · 31/03/2006 20:15

together 6 years before conceived dd (another honeymoon baby). Had known each other 9 years.

bluebear · 31/03/2006 20:15

Forgot to say, wasn't being daft, had been told I was infertile so getting pg so quickly was a wonderful miracle on top of our engagement.

kate100 · 31/03/2006 20:17

Together for 3 years and living together for 2 and a half. Loved the child free years, but enjoying parenthood even more.

Someone DH works with is having a baby with a man she was seeing for 3 months before she got pregnant ..... and i was planned!!!!!!! I think she's mad, they haven't even been on a holiday together yet.

Kathy1972 · 31/03/2006 20:17

Met December 03, preggers the following Sept.
Married in April 05 but we didn't actually live together till I went on mat. leave at the end of May, before dd was born in June.

4blue1pink · 31/03/2006 20:17

I got pregnant after less than a year and still going good 15 years on!

Hazellnut · 31/03/2006 20:19

had been together 7 years, married for 5.

4blue1pink · 31/03/2006 20:19

Still not married...working on number 6!

fennel · 31/03/2006 20:20

5 years together before dd1. knew each other 12 years before that (wouldn't like to rush into anything rashly )

but i think it totally depends on how old you are. i wouldn't waste time getting to know someone if i was my age now and didn't have children and wanted them. would just get on with it. how old is the friend?

Kathy1972 · 31/03/2006 20:22

Kate100, I think you're right about the holiday thing. I went on a sailing trip with dh the July after I met him. This gave us a chance to see each other under stress and weather a few crises together, which is really important in getting to know someone.

emkana · 31/03/2006 20:23

Friend will be 34 this year.

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alittlebitshy · 31/03/2006 20:24

i know several people "round here" who have had PLANNED babies while not even living together. dh and i are everytime we think about it....
most of them are no longer together

TheBlonde · 31/03/2006 20:25

7 mths!

TheBlonde · 31/03/2006 20:25

before pg iyswim

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