Mumsnet Talk

Hi there,

Just wanted to get everyones opinion please. On Friday just past i was called over to my daughter class teacher at the end of the school dya to say that another pupil had taken a pair of scissors and cut her hair. I was shocked to say the least but i was told it wasnt all that noticable and that the child in question had had their privillage time taken off them. At this point i may piont out the children in question are 4 and 5 years old.

On further inspection when i got home i could see the extent of the damage and i could have cried. Its awful. My daughter has long hair and right at the back near the crown she now has a clump of hair that is no more that than 1 inch in length. Both she and i are devestated that another child could behave this way to another pupil.

My husband marched up to the school to speek to the headmaster about it and both the class teacher and he headmaster said they would put it in writing to us as to how they are going to deal with this but to be honest im still not happy.

Having spoken to my daughter and other children in the class they were all sitting on the carpet listening to another teacher and the little boy in question ot up, went and got a pair of scissors and just cut off a chunk of my little girls hair - fully intentionally. When i asked what happend to the boy my daughter and her friends told me the teacher told him that that wasnt a very kind thing to do and he was removed from the class to sit int hte quiet room until he could learn how to behave.

My other concearn is that only i was informed about the incident. The parent of the little boy in question were not told about this at all and were allowed to go home and carry on as normal. I have written a letter to his parents telling them what i think about it all and that i will be seeking further action. Had this been an older child within the school, without any question they would have been suspended.

I am now debating weather or not to send my child back to school now. I mean what next - he takes another pair of scissors and stabs her in the eye with them??????

Anyway - any advie or guidlines etc would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Nicola

sounds normal to me - the hair was cut, you were told. Sounds like you want to involve the police at the very least .

As you point out, these are 4 and 5 year olds. The teacher dealt with it. End of story.

Nicola, this is a very normal event at school.
Life is not about avoiding traumas such as this. It's about learning to deal with them.
Sounds like the school have dealt with it and you have over-reacted.
Next time it might be your daughter doing the cutting.

i agree its not at all unusual for this to happen, I have taught reception for 8 years and have definatly had a few hair cut incidents in that time!

How do you know that the boys parents were not told? They should have been, they need to know what happened as they need to be part of dealing with it. Can you get your dd a nice hair clip or alice band to hide it a bit? Poor thing although she probably will forget about it soon.

Agree you are over-reacting and PFBish. What "further action" are you seeking exactly? Let it go.

Happens all the time in school. My dd has cut her own her. I know two little boys with very wonky fringes after their older sister cut their hair.

None of them have grown up to stab another child in the eye

You have to get this into proportion. Even good children can do naughty things and I think the letter that you have sent the child's parents is very threatening.

Really, what do you want to happen? What would you consider appropriate punishment. You were pissed off that the parents were not told and now they have been (by you). He was punished by the teacher by being removed from the room. He did not physically harm your dd and just because he cut her hair it does not mean he will automatically progress to poking her in the eye with scissors. You are obviously upset but you really need to calm down a bit. Taking your child out of the school is an extreme overreation.

oh dear

have you actually sent the letter to the parents of the other child you believe is involved - what if you are wrong and it was another child? yikes

how do you know that the other parents were not told - school confidentiality means that they cannot tell you if they had or had not told the parents

and did you really quiz 4 and 5 year olds - was this in the playground after school when the parents all want to get home and start their weekend or did you somehow manage to interview each child independently, taking notes etc

Why have you posted this twice op? And why only mention the hitting etc in the other thread?

I think it happens pretty regularly tbh Dd cut off her own hair in reception. I think if you don't react strongly then the child isn't upset either so maybe you need to look at your own reactions. It's only hair, it wiil soon grow back.
I definitely wouldn't write to the parents though they'll think you are over reacting and a bit strange tbh

Get. A. Grip.

You are overreacting. I can understand you being upset, but it is just hair, it will grow back.

This is VERY normal. Many children aged 4 - 5yo still struggle with impulse control. <eyes DS's crayon mural>

What action are you expecting the school to take?

Not seen another thread about this involving hitting, but you're way over the top with your reaction.

This stuff just happens in school. Get over it.

It happens. She is not in any traumatised or injured or permanantly disfigured is she? She won't care will she? Is she the reigning Little Miss World? If not then stop worrying.

Wow - I've never heard of this happening at any school and both of mine are much older than 4 or 5.

I'd be really really upset if anyone cut my DD's hair like that especially as it will take a year or more to grow back and I'd be really upset that it was so intentional too (they all mess around a bit when bored and sitting with scissors (my own DD "trimmed" her fringe at this age but for another child to get up at story time, march to the scissor pot, return to the carpet and then hack at a child's hair does not sound normal).

Its good that the school have said they will write everything down and I would address all complaints to them. Its not a good idea for youo to involve the boy's parent's though - it was a school incident so the school deals with it.

Very normal and common.

Boysarelikedogs - you are right about the possibility of accusing the wrong child - children this age do get names confused. Only two weeks ago I told dd1's teacher she was being bullied by another child. The teacher expressed surprised and said she would look into it. I came home and questioned dd1 further and asked her to identify the boy on a class photo ....and she identified another boy! I had heard of neither name before and dd1 just wasn't pronouncing it correctly. I spoke to the teacher again and corrected the mistake, fortunately before the innocent child was accused of bullying. This is why I think the school should deal with these matters.

If you don't agree with how the school are dealing with things, you need to go back to the school again.

I must admit, I would be upset if this happened to my dd at school. I would accept that these things happen and there's nothing the teacher can do, but I'd still be upset.

My nephew had his front two teeth knocked out when he was punched in the mouth by a 5 year old. Again, nothing could be done about it, but my sister was still very upset.

Cupoftea - I would also be upset - but cutting off a lock of hair is not comparable to being punched in the face with such force that two teeth fall out.

Take her for a nice short bob haircut. She'll look adorable.

Nicola, you are certainly not the first poster on Mumsnet to start an OP like this.

It sounds like the teacher handled it well at the time. She had (presumably) 30 chidlren to take care of.

This has actually happened in my own home by me own children (twice), but they've never stabbed each other.

Yes, and older chld would be temporarily excluded, but these are 4 and 5 year olds.

If you decide not to send her back to school what will you do? Send her to another school? The same thing could happen in alsmost any reception class.Home ed?

Her hair will grow back.

Hair is about all those scissors will cut anyway.

you really are over reacting and if this is the worst that happens during your kids school life you are really lucky, how would you feel if your daughter done it, come on their only kids

Nicola1983, please read your post again. Don't you think you are overreacting a tiny little bit? We are talking about a 5 yo cutting another 5yo clup of hair, not a lost limb here. It is upsetting I agree with you but she will get over it (unless you carry on making such a big deal of it) Not sending her back to school for that is a bit extreme IMHO.

None of the DCs I know who have cut one of their friends hair went on stabbing them in the eye if that reassures you.

wow- slight over-reaction there i think op.

The school has told you tehy are putting in writing how they are going to deal with it.

you say you are still not happy with this but you dont even know what they're going to do so how can yo be unhappy about it. it seems to me that no matter what the school did you would still be grumbling.

it happens, no amount of punshment/police/ compensation (i am joking about all of these of course) will make her hair grow back.

and she wasn't hurt. different matter if he had cut her face or head.

this happened to my sister at the same age in very similar circumstances. she jsut got a new haircut and the little boy was told that it was very naughty to do that.

what more would you expect?