Thanks Fi!
Have created new thread here.

Like it Fi

on phone at mo thinking of new thread titles.. how about

May 09 - This too shall pass.. from leg warmers to pennies!

momino never mind about not fessing up to the gp.. but do speak to the counsellor next week.. getting ad's is not a failure it's a positive step to start working on the changes you want to make to your life.. they can only help imo as they should help clear your mind of the little stuff so you can concentrate on the big stuff.

llareggub re other prob down there.. if it's been like that for a long time then could be thrush but if just for a week could be your ovulation time.. i've found this was more err copious since having g and as it disappeared well lessened after a few days i figured it must have been that.

llare if I was you I'd give the wedding a miss but promise you friend you'll meet up soon, you'd be able to catch up properly then anyway which you prob wouldn't be able to do at her wedding as she'll be going round talking to all the guests. You could plan to go out for a meal to celebrate the new addition to your family and her marriage.

momino it sounds like you are not taking the decision to take ADs lightly which is good but it really may be worth a try. It's not 'giving in' it could be an opportunity to take control, of course if you feel you can start to make positive changes without ADs give it a go but please don't see taking medication as a failure on your part- I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate to take medication for a phys health prob and this is just the same. Hope this doesn't sound preachy.

llareggub been thinking of your dilemma on and off all day <saw your post just before we flew out the door to playgroup> have a few ideas but not sure if any work. it's a hard one!
1. wait till dh gets home from his meeting and you head off to the wedding with ds2 on your own leaving ds1 at home with his dad.

2. if you have 2 cars.. again wait till dh gets back.. he then drops ds1 at your Mums and spends as long as ds1 needs to get settled.. while you head straight to wedding with ds2 and dh joins you as soon as he can.

thanks Runningmonkey .

pelvics, must admit that I'm not doing mine either. felt some leaks lately . (we're using the emoticon a lot lately aren't we?)

Grrr. Don't want thrush. Will now worry myself silly that I've got proper diabetes instead of gest. diabetes. Have made an appointment to see the dr next Wednesday.

No. I haven't been doing my exercises and after a little accident on the trampoline yesterday I really should.

Momi - you dont sound silly at all. Good you are talkingto a counsellor and it's not 'giving in' using ad's if you need them. someone said to me that the fact you worry about being a good mum just shows that you are one which I think is a great mantra. It doesn't mean you don't need a hand every now and then tho.

Llare - sounds like thrush to me. The bruising feeling is prob worth getting checked tho. Don't want to nag but have you been doing your pelvic floor exercises? I have to admit to being a but slack with mine

White and jelly like. A bit mucousy to be frank...

llare, could it be thrush? sorry for this tmi questions but, ahem, what consistency?

no pula. I had just started a course of beta blockers but went off them when I found out I was pregnant. not sure they were doing anything anyway.

I'm so glad they're helping you and also helps to know your opinion. maybe I shouldn't be so scared of them .

<deep breath>

I'm going to ask this now because we are nearing the end of the thread so it will disappear quickly. It is far, far too much information but I need to ask.

I have a problem down there. I am having a discharge which I guess could be normal but there is a lot of it. White, no smell. There is a bit of irritation too. Following childbirth I felt a bit bruised (to be expected) but it still feels that way 12 weeks on. What do you think it is? Is it normal? No sex here yet btw, still too scared!

Momino- I can't remember whether you were on ADs when you had PND before, but I am certainly feeling the benefits of the ADs now and glad i am on them. Glad you are seeing your counsellor next week as they can help you decide what is best for you.

thanks llare, that helps to know.

I think we're here to support each other, so let it all out!

DH is on ADs and he tells me that the things he worried about sound very similar to you. He has been on ADs for a few years now and it has helped him enormously. He used to get anxious and would take on too much as he was afraid of letting people down. He is a lot better on medication.

all, thanks for your support. i 'chickened' out at the gp and told her my anxiety was much better so we didn't talk about it at all. just had a chat about piles which haven't gone down at all since right before H's birth. she's given me cream and fibogel so hoping it works.

my anxiety still wakes me but not as badly as last year. however, i just feel a failure in everything and wondering how we're going to cope financially when mat pay ends and my lesser salary(or no salary if i don't go back) starts in jan. and what a bad mum i am. and how i hate my job. and i'm so lazy and useless. and dog didn't get his walk this morning... see? ridiculous things. but i get a pit in my stomach that i can't explain and i can't make it go away. maybe if I were on AD's, this feeling would go away and i'd get the energy to do something like go to a career counsellor or clean the house or walk the dog. or stop screaming at the children. but then, i also think i'll be a failure if i 'give in' to ADs. seems I can't win!

please don't worry about responding to my silly statements about myself. i'm not fishing, just venting i guess. I also know some of you may feel similar (?). in any case, i'm seeing my counsellor hopefully next week who will give me more advice/direction.

again a mostly 'me' post which i'll stop soon. (should prob be posting this on the mental health threads ).

llare, another option is to be upfront with your friend to explain why you're going to be late. would you consider cancelling altogether? your friend should understand and it would take a lot of pressure off you.

Hope G's ok after jabs.

tummum, hope you're feeling better and family ok.

Daizy, I tried to leave frazz a message as well but couldn't get on her profile so left a comment when she posted her status yesterday. hope ds2 is ok after his jabs as well.
Euro, scary about the high fever. glad it came down and you can relax a bit more. thanks for telling your mum's experience with AD's. I wish i'd have read before I went to doc's this morning as i would have had more guts to go with it.

Its just the drive, I hate it!

Ooh just noticed we're on p39 are we going to need a new thread soon?

Thanks both. I think I'll sleep on it. I'm just back from G's 2nd jabs so we're now feeling sorry for ourselves. DS1's little friend has swine flu, bless him. How are you now Tummum?

Hi all,

a having a v clingy day today so not been able to do much. Think the poor mite has been building up to the giant poo she just did for the last 24 hrs.

Llare, I think the idea of dh bringing ds1 if poss is a good one or just resign yourself to being late as tum says, bride might not notice if a big wedding.

Llare Mmm very difficult one. I like Daizy's suggestion that someone babysits DS1 for the meeting, then travels down with DH. But that might mean you can't be there for the transfer to your Mum. An alternative might be to just accept you won't make the ceremony (unless it's a very small audience, the bride probably won't notice you aren't there!) and turn up (discretely) after the service for the mingling and photos etc. No-one will ever know you weren't there !

Monimo thinking of you. Hope the Drs appt goes as you want it.

I see your dilemma. I've been pondering it whilst trying to help the delivery man get my new mattress up the stairs . Thats for the company we bought the bed from not you llare!! Could your ds stay with your dh and someone babysit him for the duration of his meeting? A difficult one...

Ds2 had his jabs yesterday and is grumpy and clingy today, poor thing. Unfortunately ds1 is also clingy. At least the bed has been delivered so we can find somewhere to go in the rain

We could, but we'd be very late.

DS1 hasn't been invited to the wedding so we need to take him to my mother's house. Because she lives so far away and because of our complicated relationship I can't just drop him off. He hardly knows her to be honest. So we'll need to hang around for a bit to make sure that he is OK. He is only 2.8 so will need reassuring.

Last time I did the trip it took 5 hours as DS2 needed a lot of feeding stops. It will take DH half an hour to get back from his meeting, then it is a 3 hour-5 hour trip, a little while at my mother's house and then late for the wedding.

We'd planned to leave tomorrow to give DS plenty of time to get used to being in a strange house, but obviously can't do that now.

Can you not leave when your dh's meeting ends. It's still 4 1/2hrs & just be late if necessary?

Oh god, can someone help me make a decision?

As you know DH lost his job last month and is going it alone. Things are going well and he is getting work in. He has been asked to meet with some prospective clients on Friday morning at 7.45am, and the meeting will end at 8.45am. He really needs to go.

However, we are due at a wedding at 1.30pm 3 hours away without stopping. We need to take the children so will need to stop for feeds, nappies, loos etc so it will take a lot longer than that. It is therefore unlikely that we will get there on time.

DH has suggested that I drive down alone and he will follow. This is OK in principle but last time I drove there on my own it was a nightmare and I only had the baby. I can imagine that with a toddler as well it will be horrendous. I really don't relish the thought of doing it alone.

Gah. Wedding is a friend from school who I rarely if ever see, if that matters. DH was never particularly fussed about going anyway. I feel we ought to go but we really can't afford for DH to miss out on this opportunity.

What to do, oh wise mumsnetters?

daisydoo Don't be too hard on yourself - making friends is often just a matter of timing and less to do with our friendhsip skills. FWIW, it took me several years to make good friends in my local area. I think I wasn't going to enough groups locally on a regular basis, but once I made friends with a particular person, it all followed. It was DD going to the nursery of a school last September that really cemented things, as all these women I was already friends with had children at the school, so I started seeing them much more regularly because of pick-up and drop-off.

momino sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hope trip to the dr's is productive.

Jael glad you've had the op, hope all goes well for you now.

Fi good luck with the great poo hunt! I might be up for a trip down to the seaside if the weather gets any better

Dandy I have a 2 1/2yr old and ds2 is 12 weeks. I've been back here properly for a year this weekend. I go to mother and toddler groups and chat with the other mothers, but am just crap at making new friends!

Euromum wow that's a high fever, glad its gone down now. Must be very worrying.

Is anyone unable to access other people's profiles on fb? I tried to leave a msg for fraz on her bday and now there's another one I can't nose look at!

Am hoping that our new bed gets delivered today, as I've taken our old one apart!! Got to go, my 'legwarmer' has turned into a scarf as I've been typing!

Hi jael - I hope you are recovering ok and things are going well. It sounds like you've really been through it, I hope you can get some rest and really enjoy your babies now.

Re fights, Dandy and others we also have the tone of voice thing - it's so frustating to be arguing about "you said this but I know you meant that" etc etc when or "what you said was fine but...". I have found myself thinking that dh is just too much of a woman since this began, which also coincided with having children. I really wonder why. We're both equally tidy though, or at least in more or less complementary ways - and Febes (think it was you [losing track of things again]) I'm another one who tidies things while using them. At the moment I am a bit fed up that dh is leaving ALL the housework to me, including never loading/emptying the dishwasher and stuff like that - I think he thinks that as I'm on maternity leave, it's my job to do everything domestic. I have decided it's not worth a fuss and am trying not to mind for the sake ofpeace and harmony, but it would be nice if he expressed appreciation every now and again. Still, in general he's very good at that stuff. And finally, I'm glad to see we're not the only ones who argue about sex either!

browniebelles wow re your long ds! T was measured yesterday at 8 (9? or maybe even 10?) weeks and he was 57.5cm. I cna't imagine him being almost 10cm longer in a couple of weeks! By the way I share your frustration about drinking too, after 9 months I was looking forward to a few glasses of wine but T feed so regularly that I can't really get away with it. I did have about 3/4 of a pint of lager the other day - and was very depressed to discover that it made me drunk [pathetic lightweight emoticon] .

And Fi at your ds too. My deepest sympathy for the poo-searching.

Momino glad you got your champagne despite the legwarmers. T does that too (cry for no apparent reason) and I have been wracking my brains but it seems he just does need cuddles. Endearing but annoying when you want to be doing things, especially as thebdd wants a cuddle too - normally because he's having one, so either way, one of them isn't happy . I think you did pretty well yesterday to get out to a shop and handle all that like you did! I would have just hid at home . Anyway I hope you get on ok at the doctor today and get a sympathetic discussion about whether ADs could help or not (if you think it's a discussion you want to have, of course). I remember my mum was on them for a whlie when I was a kid and she's since told me that she resisted the idea for ages because she wanted to just sort out the actual issues, but once she had them she felt so much better, it was at that point that she got the energy and strength to deal with things 'properly', if you see what I mean.

Well we all had a pretty stressful night at T had his first jabs yesterday afternoon and developed an incredibly high temp over the evening (40 degrees at midnight). Fortunately it's gone right back down now but I was pretty stressed and up a lot in the night with him. Hear dd yelling though (after her tremendous lie-in ) so had better go...

Sorry for probable typos etc, bit short on time again!

fi, lol at 'dc legwarmers' .

am just feeding H, one handed typing so you'll get occasional punctuation. since she slept so much yesterday i'm not surprised she woke up a couple of times in the night, luckily fell back asleep quickly.

be back on later. hope everyone had a good night.

momino glad you got your glass of champagne. dc leg warmers do make doing anything difficult esp walking and sitting.. did they relax after a while and give you a break? hope you get on ok at the doc's.

day 2 of marigolds today [boak] we're off to a playgroup this am/lunchtime so any nappies he fills while there we'll be bringing home..

llareggub, good luck to DS2 on his jabs. am intrigued about the coloured rice - am defn going to try with my 2 toddlers.

spangle, your MIL's frugleness.

lol at the coin conversation above .

i feel better, thank you everyone. I've just been impatient with my LOs and feel like an inferior mum because of the yelling i've been doing. dd1&2 were extra clingy at the party today and hung onto my leg so icould barely walk into the party. Very annoying. I did get a glass of champagne which settled me nicely.

i'm off to see GP tomorrow and, with the way i've been feeling, am seriously thinking of asking her for AD's. but i'm worried about side effects and not treating the underlying problems. sigh.

anyway. glad all you are ok and hope everyone gets some sleep tonight. xx

I feel like I haven't really had time to post much over the last few days. Potty training is going well at times and terribly badly at others. DS1 is amazingly dry at night, having refused to wear his nappy after a few days of daytime training. Unfortunately the same success cannot be said of number twos, which he keeps doing in his pants. Ugh. So fikelly you most definitely are not alone in the stinky jobs! Has it passed yet?

jennster I love the photos!

browniebells I'm always up for a meet-up. I do like the cafe in the Cox's Yard on the canal in Stratford. Do you know it? It has a lovely little family room with toys and great cakes.

momino I hope you are feeling better.

Housework we're not terribly tidy here. I have a mountain of ironing gathering dust under the stairs and the playroom never gets tidy. I figure it can't get much messier than messy!

sophietom what a handsome boy!

Those of you with pre-schoolers, I can highly recommend the project we did today. I'm always looking for things to keep DS1 entertained, and someone on another thread suggested using food colouring to colour rice. You just add food colouring to rice in ziplock bags, then pour the rice onto a baking tray to dry off in the oven. It kept DS amused for hours! He liked the colours, the shaking, and then playing with the rice afterwards. I find life a lot easier when I can think of things like this to do. We now have bags of coloured rice and I'm wondering what we can do with it!

DS2 is having his 2nd lot of jabs tomorrow, then we're off to south Wales for the weekend.

dandy rofl surprisingly no!! i hadn't thought of it either

(does 'spend a penny' just mean having a wee, btw? Or does it cover all of the 'going to the toilet' spectrum? Hmm)

it's quite reassuring in a fascinated in horror/amusement way to know what other dc's have done too..
i'll let you all know when it turns up

Fi Has anyone done the 'your DS has to spend a penny in order to find the penny' joke yet?

lol.. i've just been wondering what to do with it! also i wonder if it will be all shiny after a good wash?! just hope ds doesn't find it too uncomfortable to pass..

Fi DH told me his brother swallowed several coins (at the same time ) when he was little. MIL had to root through the poo to find them too, and as she is incredibly frugal, put them back in her purse afterwards. What will you do with the penny?!

Hello - Llare - yes I know where you are then - perhaps we could attempt a meet up at some point?

Fi - gosh - really empathise with your panic situation (DS1 once stuffed a smartie up his nose, then really panicked when he realsied he couldn't get it out again!) Hope it passes without too much mess!

Is there a FB group? I am on FB but wouldn't know wher to start finding you guys....if you'd let me in that is!

Momino - hope your day got better...the bubbly should def have helped!

I am annoyed that I am still unable to drink too much anyway, cos of being on warfarin - not that I drank loads anyway - but can only have a max of 2 units a day...after 9 months of 0 units - it was and still is a real bummer!

Anyway - off to watch CSI Miami now.....


x

<<gives ReeBee stern, scolding look for leaving tops off shampoo and conditioner bottles>>

<<gives Febes admiring, adoring, 'Can I stroke your hair please?' look for labelling cupboards and having SYSTEMS>>

Fi, has it passed yet?

Jennster, great first pic, love the caption. Also love the pic of dd1/dd2 a few hours old. very cute.

Reebee, hope F's eye is better soon and happy bday to DH for tomorrow.

oh, my DH is finally home so have to run the dog out for his 2nd walk as DH pulled his shoulder (man flu thing perhaps?).

will be back on to see how everyone is.

Fi, poor you!

Jenn, agree with the others - you look fab. No-one except DH (and my parents who got to them before they were censored) have seen the photos of me immediately post birth!

Jael, hope your recovery is super speedy.

Dandy, just to reassure you, DH only bites the legs of friends, family, and reasonably good acquaintances.... and not nearly as often as he used to (at least, not since I've started the raw steak feeding twice a day). He doesn't drink every night either and often drinks in moderation; it's the other nights I struggle with. It's like the nursery rhyme - when he's bad he's horrid!!

All others with DH and housework stories... Agree completely with Tummum and Spangle on the leaving things out in the kitchen and with the starting cooking round things anecdotes.

However, in his defence, DH has never left the loo seat up and what's more it drives him crazy that I always (absolutely always) leave the tops off my shampoo and conditioner bottles.

It's DH's birthday tomorrow but he's been in Solihull today and is in Welwyn Garden City tonight and tomorrow, poor love. Just as well, I haven't finished present shopping yet!

F's eye still no better after finishing hellish 5 day course of oral liquid antibiotics so called doctor who says continue with the antibiotics for another 3 days. Gutted, it makes him scream and me cry. I hate hate hate doing it to him.

Right, as DH isn't here am off to catch up on rubbish TV waiting for me on Sky+, woo hoo!

Great pics jenn. Love the first one, you look great which is unlike the one of me holding A just after she was born that I look like some kind of demented hag in

fi hope it passes through soon <sympathetic emoticon>

jennster love all the photos.. very brave of you to share your 1st one too.. you both looked fabby in that one too :-)

poo searching is underway with the use of marigolds <boak> twice already this pm but no sign yet.. <double eeew boak yuk>

Jennster lovely photo I wish I had one of me & H when he popped out but DH was a bit shell-shocked after only arriving 25 min beforehand.

sophietom Jake is gorgeous I see you like Nick Cave & Haruki Murakami <echoes Momino's good taste emoticon>

Fi you must have been terrified. Yuk about searching through poo that's <ewww> not <envy>

That's on my profile not facebook!

And for one day only there is a birth 'action' shot not for the squeamish with dd2 seconds old......

Momi meant to say hope your day improves with a glass of bubbly

FFS why do my posts keep disappearing?

Sorry for that outburst.

Anyway the gist was, I've finally uploaded some pictures on Facebook and there is even one of dd2!

aww soph just seen your pics, love the smiley one.

anyway this too shall pass.. even pennies

runningm my heart skipped a beat and he then got all upset as he realised how worried and scared i looked. i just didn't get to him in time.. by the time i was saying no spit it out he was already gagging and swallowed it. i'd picked it up just 2mins earlier as it'd come out of the money box i'd let him see earlier and hadn't spotted it at the time. i put it on the kitchen worktop while doing the dishes.. should have put it in my pocket at myself.

Fi sounds scary. Don't envy you having to search thro poo either. Glad ds is ok tho - I remember my brother doing something similar in church with a five pence piece when we were little, it was supposed to go in the collection pot!!

browniebells I'm not far from you at all. I'm in the town with the v famous castle and St Nick's Park. I'm often in Stratford as DS goes swimming there on a Tuesday.

sophiet love the photos you both look gorgeous and smiley!!

sounds like a great party momino have a glass for me too

brownieb wow that's a big long lo you have what size clothes is he in atm?

sophietom, just had a sneaky look - Jake is gorgeous! also noticed you like Tom Waits [good taste emoticon].

Harper seems fine now after sleeping 3.5 hours (think I'll be up tonight ?). she's had a feed and is cooing, sitting in her bouncy chair. maybe she did just want a cuddle. can't imagine why she wasn't hungry then when she should have had a good long feed. wish they could talk.

brownie - that's a big boy you have!

off to a birthday party where i've heard they're serving some bubbly (posh friend i have ). i could use a glass of that right now.

momino that's a hard day for you.. that was my day on sat and i didn't handle it v well at all in comparison!!

well i'm just trying to calm down after having to phone NHS direct in a panic after ds who's 3 in 2wks swallowed a 1 pence coin he's ok but i now have to thoroughly check his poo for the next 4 to 6 days to make sure he passes it [truly gross even with rubber gloves].

hey all - just a quick post from me...just git back from having M weighed etc....at 10 weeks he is 7.78kg and 67cm long - a big boy!

Llare - i am in Stratford on Avon - where are you?

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

B

momino sounds like Harper just wanted a cuddle from her mum- glad you are got some peace while she slept

jenn when I know people are coming round the mess gets shoved out of sight- in cupboards, under the sofa, anywhere in fact! No wonder I am always losing things BTW Febes if you really do love sorting out cupboards etc and are ever in Lancashire feel free to pay me a visit as I need help- everything is shoved everywhere

...have just tried to upload photos of Jake to MN profile- I managed 2 and then it stopped working hmph

pula/febes, thanks. sorry for the selfish post, everyone here has tough and even tougher times.

yes, one of those days. i don't know what's wrong with H. she woke up from her morning nap and fed about 5 min and then yelled for the next few hours. she didn't want food, didn't look tired, had clean nappy, etc. only stopping when i picked her up. so i couldn't get dressed, put on makeup, eat breakfast etc. finally just put her down in another room screaming whilst i got dressed. DD1&2 were being very naughty getting into my makeup and pouring on the bed and , dd2 squirming during a dirty nappy change getting poo everywhere [gross emoticon], and all three were loud, whingy, crying, etc. and they haven't been listening to me so i've had to raise my voice after attempt of using firm but calm voice (does that really work for some people?).

we had to get a birthday gift for a party this afternoon and Harper yelled in the shop so I had to pick her up from the pod, the P&T was too big for the shop, dd1 kept touching/dropping everything and dd2 shoplifted a book (i gave it back). but we got the gift. whew.

Harper fell asleep at 11 and is still asleep. She didn't have a temp, nothing noticeably wrong. she would stop crying as soon as picked up. could she simply want to be cuddled? she should be starving right now yet she's not waking up to feed . i'm going to take advantage of the time to do my hair/makeup then try to wake her.

memememememe post, sorry

Hope you guys are having good days. I can manage a now.

Momino You love your DDs very much and this too shall pass.... Bad day???

I took both DCs for their BCG injections today for immunisation against TB. We get it cause DH is south african. DH came with me which made it easier as he held DD then took her for a walk while DS got his. Glad thats over.

Dandy I have SYSTEMS the trouble is I change my systems often and poor DH can't keep up. I also change where I put stuff if I think the new place will be better so DH is constantly confused as to where to put the cat food or what ever. I don't make things easy for myself . I love sorting out cupboards and stacking and tidying, putting labels to the front etc . I did the bathroom cupboards this week.

Momino - your 3 DDs are great, and you love them dearly, and THIS TOO, SHALL PASS. Sorry you are having a bad day. I assume your DD1 and DD2 will be in nursery tomorrow so you can have a quiet day?

[jael] Hope you make a speedy recovery. at 21 hours sleep......[dreams of 21 hours sleep]

sophie I never noticed any mess in your house! Yes the washable are more ecofriendly, but completely useless if you leak loads. They're fine if you can change them regularly during the day. I figure the lilypadz are ecofriendly too.

dandy I'm glad dh and I aren't the only ones with the tone of voice problem. He threw a strop this morning as we needed to get out of the house early and I'd stuffed our coat and shoe cupboard with things that would otherwise have been lying around being tripped over for weeks in there. He emptied the cupboard onto the floor, looking for ds's shoes that were actually in the bathroom, leaving everything on the floor for me to pick up later when we aren't in a hurry. I wouldn't mind but he doesn't see mess. He too leaves plates in the sink rather than just stacking them in the dishwasher as he goes, and don't get me started on stacking the dishwasher efficiently and so plastic cups and bowls don't get flipped and full of mucky water! We are both as bad as each other though.

could someone please remind me that i do love my DD's and 'this, too, shall pass'?

wishing you a speedy recovery jael*

*jenn I have tried the lansinoh breast pads and you're right they are much better- I wanted to use washables to save money/be green but they aren't working out at night- I'm lying in a puddle by the time J wakes for a feed at 4am! So I will have to use disposables at night and washables during the day

re arguments- we don't argue much but I can be very moody when it comes to his parents and we tend to have a few cross words after their visits as I will moan about something they said/did and he get all defensive (although tbh he will often bemoaning about them aswell!)

And to all of those with obsessive tidiness tendencies- I would love to be more like you! Me and DP are so lazy when it comes to the housework and live in complete chaos. I am always leaving stuff out when I make a sandwich and the washing up from our evening meal is always left until the next day Our cds are arranged alphabetically but you will often open a cd case and find a completely different cd inside instead of the one you wanted!!!! I would love to be tidier as I can never find anything and it is a bit embarrasing when people drop in and the place is a total mess.

I'm another with having oldest best friends in distant parts.. the closest ones are in n ireland and scotland.. then belgium and unfortunately the one i miss the most is now in nz thank goodness for skype.. my friends here in w-s-m are all post natal group ones from having ds 3yrs ago..

Hi All,
Just about caught up I think.

Jael so glad you have had your op, I am in awe of your bravery and hope you start feeling well again soon x x

re arguments - I think DH an I are a bit like you dandy we don't really argue as such except re tone of voice, which has been parti bad with the lack of sleep. Both of us do like a drink but it has got much less since our friends have started having kids and then we did too. Luckily we are both as messy as each other

Loobs check the signs re asda, our morrisons has a big one on the way in saying no stays over 3hours. Mind you people park there and go to the pub across the road so no idea if anyone gets in trouble.

Right am off to the dr in a bit, A's granuloma has gone a funny colour and looks like its about to fall off

daisy Meant to respond to your post yesterday -

Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. I'm with you on the friends all over the world and losing touch with them front. Several of my longest-standing, closest friends don't live near me any more and it's tough because they're irreplacable. All that shared history can't be replaced with a new friend.

When did you move back to the area? How old are your kids?

looby glad you had a better night and day yesterday and only 2glasses of wine is a start isn't it. i'm not sure about how picky asda's will be about parking.. that might vary according to each stores location and how busy they are?

brownieb i'm in weston-super-mare N Somerset. not v close to most of us.. chocolatebunnies is a bit further south from me in devon <wonders how she is as she's not been on in a while> and i've suddenly remembered that i think it was daisy that's been to the bristol ikea and about 20miles north of bristol?! that means you'd only be 40or so miles away from me.. so if you fancy meeting up somewhere with the dc's i'm up for it :-)

Ooops! just caught up on reading...

Welcome back Jael and get well soon x

morning all...

well we had a good day yesterday - M slept for almost 2hrs (she never sleeps during the day) so managed to wash, dry and put away 2 loads of washing, clean one of the bathrooms, tidy and hoover lounge and dining room, so DH came home to a clean tidy house for a change .
Trouble was he started to leave stuff everywhere so I had to keep moving/tidying stuff away cos it was annoying me .

DH hasn't apologised and he did have a drink last night but only 2 glasses of wine so nowhere near as much as normal . Think we need another chat tho.

Good news tho - M slept 9.30 till 6am! Fed till 7 then went back down and is still asleep so have managed to hang out washing, have breakfast and about to get in the shower.

Off to a mum & baby group later - got to park in asda as its nearest car park. Has anyone ever heard of anyone getting fined/clamped for being in an asda car park for more than 2hrs?

Jael, welcome back. glad your op is finished and hope you get better quickly. HOpe you're not feeling as down as well. you know where to vent anyway .

Daizy, sorry you're feeling a bit lonely. wish we lived closer, it would be great to meet you.

can't name checkanyone else. i'm falling asleep as i type this.
time for bed.

Febes at you putting things away while they are being used.

When I came out of hospital after having had DS, my blood pressure was still dangerously high and I'd had to self-discharge in order to leave hospital. So DH was on strict doctor's orders to keep me calm. But when I got home, after being very stressed with muppetry from hospital, although he had really kept the house neat and tidy, I could only 'see' things like the magazines and books underneath the coffee table not being straight. And things that should be in cupboards not being put away. I went in rather a rage about these things, as I flew round the lounge straightening things. DH was saying "whoa, Dandy, you're going a bit OCD now."

I did actually suffer from OCD briefly as a teenager, and I do still get a bit obessessive about things being in their place and being organised. So I have two states really re my possessions - a complete mess, or ordered to perfection. I'm learning though to find a middle ground!

Spangle My DH would tell you that it's him who usually cleans the kitchen and empties and loads the dishwasher (<<whispers 'and he'd be right>>) but I think he needs to get over himself on that score and just get one with it

Re our bedtime routine problem - we've given it up in favour of bathing him in the day (although we haven't actually done that yet ) and going with the flow in the evenings, following llareggub and others' advice. It hasn't completely solved the problem as he had crying sessions both last night and this evening, but we feel more relaxed as we're not trying to rush to get everything done. I'm hoping it's just a phase

jael - good to hear from you. I'mso glad you've had you op, fingers crossed for a speedy and thorough recovery.

I've missed loads, sorry, so can't catch uo with you all.

The arguments conversation is interesting - DH and I don't really argue much (neither of us can be bothered, mostly!) but sex is one of the problem areas. Otherwise it's me getting annoyed with the amount of time he spends managing to not do anything much at all, and he gets annoyed with me for not tidying up after myself.

We've had a good few days really, fruit picking on Saturday, watching lots of TdF of the telly, DD1 and I have been cooking together. She was at the childminders today so I had a bit of a domestic goddess kind of afternoon - I managed to make bread, do the ironing and deal with the tax credits people all at the same time!

Really not looking forward to next week though - DH has got to go away for work for a week which is bad enough (bed time tips anyone?!) but the childmonder is also on holiday next week so I won't even get my one quiet day of the week!

Spangle my DH does that too and it drives me insane. He will also start cooking without tidying up beforehand, working around the stuff littered around the work surfaces. Mind you, we aren't the tidiest family around. I blame it on having 3DCs but we were messy before they were born

Oh yes another thing that infuriates me about DH (sorry I don't mean to be horrible, I love him dearly, but I'm on a roll now ): if he makes any food etc, eg toast and honey, he will leave everything out on the side in disarray - bread, knife, butter open, lid off honey etc. He claims he plans to come back and clear it up, but he will leave it there for hours, usually until I want to prepare a meal. I keep telling him how it's easier to put stuff away as he goes rather than come back and clear it up later but he doesn't listen.

Febes and Dandy- I sound like your DHs and my DH sounds like you- picking up my bits and pieces and putting them away for me . However, my DH is the reverse with dirty laundry (he leaves it on the bedroom/bathroom floor) which makes me .

Dandy- I also like my coathangers all facing the same way, and spend a lot of time going round shutting wardrobe and kitchen cupboard doors.

Jael it's fantastic you've had your op and can now look forward to getting back to normal. Hope you recover quickly x

Dandy we never used to have arguments about tone of voice but have had a few about Harvey-care. Poor DH is likely to get his head bitten off if he asks about eg what to dress H in in the wrong (ie a 'you're in charge, tell me what to do') tone of voice. Equally I have to make sure I don't sound like I'm criticising him. The other mums in my NCT group have the same thing, so you're not alone.

We don't argue about money. I'm more of a spender than DH but I'm also more careful about keeping track of money, paying bills on time etc, so it balances out, and we have the same overall priorities so we don't argue.

DH is a bit of a messy bugger but he does have to have coathangers pointing the same way, and all the items in the fridge stacked neatly with labels facing outwards. He claims it's the effect of years of shelf stacking as a teenager.

Sometimes I return things to the rightful place while its still being used . I wish I could chill out about it but I really feel better when everything is away and then I can happily relax.

Febes I actually silently screamed upon reading how your DH will come home dropping bits and pieces along the way as he walks in . My DH does this too and it annoys the hell out of me. Add a four year old to the mix and I'm forever walking round the house returning things to their rightful place whilst bemoaning how it's always me who has to do it.

Daisydoo Yes he is Afrikaans but not had a maid all his life so its not that he just doesn't see if anything needs to be done he will do anything I ask and looked after DD when I first went back to work including cleaning and cooking (although he prefered braai everynight ) but he's not that bothered by mess and I am house proud so we clash on this point.

Dandy we sound similar on our things we like around the house. I also like things to be in there place. DH will come home dropping bits and pieces along the way as he walks in .

dandy I'm with you on the sensitivity to tone of voice.. when dh gets nippy it really gets me down.

Browniebells, we are in the same county. Whereabouts are you?

Hello - all.

Well - M (DS2) rolled from back to front about a week ago, so can no longer be left on own - and last night - he went right through the night - and I mean right through - he fed at 7pm, went down by 7.30, then woke up this morning around 7.30 and had a feed just gone 8am!!!!! Not sure if this is a one off, or whether this is the start of a regular thing?

Re routines, ours is fairly relaxed - morning feed around 8.30 - 9am, lunchtime feed around 1 or 2 then evening feed around 6 or 7 - he used to then have a feed in the night - but as he did last night - not always!
He hardly naps at all during the day - so may be why he is a sound night sleeper? We are now in the routine of putting him up to bed in his cot around 7pm, when DS1 goes - and he has settled into this quite well. We tend to bath him in the daytime too.

Hope all of you are having a good evening.....whereabouts does everyone live? I noticed that a couple of you have obviously met up.....I am in Warwickshire - 35, on second marriage and have 2 DSs (both from this DH).
I work as a Training Consultant, in IT and Business Skills, and am going back to work at the beginning of October - 4 days a week.

Right, off to watch last nights Top Gear!

x

Oh, and as for falling asleep on London Transport -

MANY, MANY years ago when I was 21 and had just moved to London, I had two jobs, a daytime one then a night-time job behind the bar in a pub. I used to drink both during and after my pub shift, and usually had to get the night bus home. Twice I fell asleep and woke up at about 7:30am in the morning having gone round London for a few hours. One time I woke up in a bus depot. VERY unsafe behaviour for a young woman. I would kill DD if she ever did that!

Fi I'm with your DH when it comes to hangers all facing a certain direction. We have our 500+ CDs in alphabetical order for ease of finding them - although they aren't strictly in order, just in letter categories. i.e. all the As together but in random oder.

I have other quirks re order in the house though. HATE wardrobe doors being left open, or bags being put on the kitchen table. Hate things not being put back in their rightful place.

Interesting to see what people and their DHs argue about most. My DH and I hardly ever argue about money - I can think of only three arguments about it in the last (just under) ten years, and none of these were big arguments. Nor do we argue about drinking. Or any big stuff really. We do argue about who has/hasn't done what about the house - not cleaning per se (we have a cleaner), but tidying,and who has emptied/loaded the dishwasher. What we argue about most though is the tone and words each of us uses with the other - we're both very sensitive to that. So a lot of those type of arguments going on at the moment as sleep deprivation and not getting much down time is making us snippy and defensive . Does anyone else have this issue?

ReeBee I'm with Momino re your husband crawling on the floor biting people. Although really, it's not funny but quite shocking. I feel for you, it sounds very tough. Do you think he has a drink problem? I guess going by llareggub's honest and excellent advice if it's causing you relationship difficulties, then it is a drinking problem. Having a child - particularly the first one - is such a massive upheaval and shock to the system, that it is a red danger time in terms of exisiting problems flaring up. So anything that is already there will get heightened IMVHO.

Jael great to hear from you. Glad the op is over and done with. How are the migraines now?

G has just rolled from his back onto his tum... and was very unimpressed . Trouble is, I can't leave him on his tod now !

jael i saw your fb update. so glad for you that the op is done and you're back home. take it easy <i'm sure you will> gentle hugs x

my dh has all our DVD's in alphabetical order.. books too. likes the forks, knives and spoons all facing the same direction in their different sections in the drawer.. likes his clothes on certain hangers with the hook parts all facing left.. etc. and wo is me if i put milk in ds's green beakers instead of the blue ones i could carry on and on lol

Jael- good to hear from you. Glad you have finally had your op, and hope you start to feel much better soon. Look after yourself.

Hiya everyone. I've had my operation. And I'm home from hospital. I'm still in quite alot of pain, but it's done now. DP is off looking after DD1 and baby J, both who have been little angels through everything which has gone on, and this whole ordeal. 12 weeks I've waited to have this op, and I've had it now...*breathes a sigh of relief* I can't hold J or anything which is the only thing, and he really wants me, I've been in hospital a few days and he's missed me, so has DD1...It wasn't easy. They did manage to do the operation keyhole though thankfully, I did have to have a drain in my stomach though, which was very painfull! And even though I've had 2 spinal's for both my sections I've never had an anaesthetic, and that made me funny, it gave me water retention, which I'd never even heard of. So i had them keep scanning my bladder and keep trying to make me wee every hour through the night...when I got home I slept solidly for 21 hours almost! I'm on a ton of painkillers which put me in cuckoo land and make me sleepy, and I'm not doing anything apart from eating a tiny bit, drinking and sleeping, cause I'm still in so much pain. It will get better though soon. I am still here though. My baby J was 12 weeks on thursday, and has just started saying mamammam too appararently he wouldn't shut up when I was in hospital lol he's definately started earlier than his sister, I wonder if missing me made him say it....more sleep for me I think, love to you all XXX

Re DH's lateness - he rang me at 5pm to say he was coming back with his friend/electrician (who is OCD about tidiness) and is the house in a fit state for visitors as he'd be back in 30min. Rushed around like a mad thing, ignoring H, and he's not back yet

Our arguments are about

1) DH's lateness - he is pathologically late. On a good day I see his lack of understanding of time as a disability (like lack of spatial awareness) but at other times I just think it's plain rude. What really infuriates me is when he lies about where he is (eg nearly home, when he hasn't even left). The worst time was when he left me waiting for a lift in town for 3 hours. It was a Friday night, I had a work suit on and bags of shopping from Sainsburys and I had to sit in a bar until 10pm waiting for him. He had the cheek to suggest we stop for (another) drink too. Boy, was I

2) Help with housework - the usual stuff. Pre-H I did it because he works 6 days and late into the evening (although he used to stay in bed 2 hours later than me in the mornings ) and I didn't want our only time together to be spent cleaning. Post-H, I am doing it because I'm on maternity leave, but I've told him when I go back to work and H is more demanding he'll have to muck in. He's suggested we get a cleaner, which I'm fine with, but a bit he won't face doing what I've been doing for him since we lived together.

Drinking we agree on. We both like a little tipple of an evening, but not much and we very very rarely get properly drunk.

My dh is really laid back and we generally only argue about sex! I nag moan at dh about awhole list of things!

Febes when we 1st got married and I asked dh for help around the flat his answer was get a maid Is your dh Afrikaans? If so does he speak it with you dc? Also I thought it was a right of passage for South africans to fall asleep on the tube and end up on the other side of London in the middle of the night

Bad mummy alert, or lack of working brain cells alert - I had to pick ds1 up from nursery this evening and I realised when I got there that I'd forgotten to strap ds2 into his carseat

I'm feeling quite lonely in rl at the moment, as I don't haven't made any good friends in the area since we moved back. My friends are dotted round the world and it seems to be that I'm losing contact with some of them

fi- I also get told off (mostly when I "tidy" things into various drawers at random so we can't find things ) but i get annoyed because DH sorts the post into bills to pay and things to file, and then I end up with charges on my credit cards because I don't realise bills have arrived and they've been put in the action folder .

I have also been out today - to 2 parks as DS1 has been asking to go out. We managed OK in the morning as DS2 slept in the pushchair, but he wasn't so happy this afternoon so i left the park with a screaming baby and a screaming toddler who didn't want to go home/wear his reins.

We argue about
1)money
2)me wanting more support/ help cleaning etc
3)whether to live in NZ or SA- I won that one but its been a major issue since we got married

just home.. reebee it was worth getting out as ds had a blast at the playgroup <even with the strange lunch of banana, grapes, crisps and toasted tea cake>. we also managed to do more errands on the way home and after 2days of miserable rain, ds being bored of rainy day activities it was just as much for my sanity we needed to go out today.

pula we also argue about housework and paperwork. dh is a bit of an ocd tidy person when stressed and i get --told off-- helpful suggestions about how he thinks things should have been done/not done.. iyswim it drives me nuts at times..

Hi all
just back from lovely weekend at my mums. Hope all ok, lots to catch up on so off for a read x x

sophietom have you tried Tommee Tippee or Lansinoh breastpads? You won't believe the difference. They are far more expensive, but you don't need nearly as many, and it saves on the extra washing and effort. I'll give you a few pairs to try next time we meet if you like.

Oh, DS2 is waking up now...

Oh and it's very quiet here as I took DD to stay with my parents yesterday and she is there until Friday

It sounds very dull in our house but our biggest arguments/disagreements are around:

1) housework and
2) paperwork (e.g. remembering to pay bills)

DH hardly drinks at the moment as he is jogging every night or every other night as he is trying to lose weight and get fit.

Well I put DS1 down for a nap at 12.30 and DS2 down at 1.15 and they are both still asleep. It was very unexpected as DS2 usually only manages 45 mins so I haven't made the most of it really- have just sat of the sofa with my laptop . Might go make a cup of tea and have a biscuit!

looby, hope DH is apologetic when he gets home later. on the other hand, great news about M loving her playgym.

all, it's good of you to share your DH stories. although i'm not glad we all have same/similar difficulties, it helps to know we're not alone.

reebee, biting people's legs... and. also, we have the same 2 arguments as well (3rd place is arguing about sex).

PS Fi, what a rubbish day you're having - I would have given up before playgroup, I'm sure!! You're made of sterner stuff than I am.

Oh, we went to look at nurseries on Friday and have found one we really like with spaces for January - yay!

looby euro febes - another case here of drinking having been our main leisure activity before F came along. Not every night but certainly most nights. We spent a lot of time socialising with friends at weekends and whatever we did involved alcohol.

Also another case here of DH drinking (in my eyes) too often and too much: not being able to stop drinking once he gets started and also not believing it's an issue. It's one of the only two things that makes us argue, his drinking. (The other is of course money!)

The Sunday drinking is the most annoying - this weekend, we had friends staying so we had a few drinks on Friday with them. We all went to a wedding do on Saturday afternoon in a pub and had some drinks then. The 3 of us called it a night about 11.30pm on Sat as we'd been up to 1.30am on Friday and in the beer garden a lot of Sat afternoon. DH stayed up by himself until about 2 / 3 am - he can't remember. Then yesterday he's got a stinking hangover, our friends leave, some others are coming over for a coffee in the afternoon and he starts drinking again at about 12pm before they arrive - Guinness, my white wine (I shouted at him so he put it back), about a bottle of red wine, and thought I was unreasonable when I said I thought it was a bit OTT for a Sunday afternoon when he'd had no lunch and had 2 heavy days previously.

Then he wonders why he's tired all the time and feels down - hah!!

Febes DH has also climbed into the house through a tiny window when drunk and smashed all the glass in our porch door on another occasion. I'm not prepared to talk about all the other things he's done because some are just embarrassing (falling out of trees, quite a lot of gratuitous nudity, crawling round the floor and biting people's legs are some of the tamer items for which he is known), but I had thought he would tone it down after F's arrival. (He was brilliant for the 4 weeks before my due date up to when F arrived because he knew he might have to drive. It was lovely) After F's arrival, he seemed to calm down for a couple of weeks and now he's back on it and it does my head right in. Oh well, at least he doesn't drink every night.

momino, others, it is indeed also his only pleasure and apparently I am just a killjoy and am deliberately trying to prevent him enjoying himself - double .

Anyway, just thought I'd share to say there are more of us with similar experiences.... I know that the same is true to greater or lesser extents with several of my RL friends.

Well DH got up (after I yelled up stairs at 10.30 ) and took DCs for a walk up town to buy milk and bread while I quickly cleaned the downstairs, but he forgot his wallet so I'll have to go up and get it later anyway. Honestly MEN!!! He is going up to Manchester to work on Wed and will only be back Monday night or Tuesday morning so I will be on my own for 6 whole days and I'm shitting it!!!

Looby Euro We also used to drink as our main activity. When I was working I wouldn't normally drink during the week. But come fri night we would down the wine. Now that I'm not working I must say I am getting bad at drinking everynight so try not to have it in the house so temptation isn't there but if I really feel like a glass of wine or we are having people for dinner then I definately have some.
DH has got alot better and limits himself but in the old days he did some bloody silly things when pissed like breaking into our house through the double glazing on the front door and falling asleep on the tube and going to the end of the line on the other side of London and other things. He really can't handle his booze but still drinks most nights if not working. He used to hide beers so I didn't moan at him . I worry about him as his dad is an alcoholic.

made it to play group.. only 95 mins later than I intended.. dropped duvet off on the way to be cleaned and just finished a hot cuppa tea and huge slice of coffee and walnut cake.. healthy eating goes out the window again! ds playing happily and g asleep so eventually calming down. only one unexpected prob. they normally serve lunch but due to staff shortages they're not today.. so just crisps, cakes, biscuits etc to eat. don't think ds will complain and i do have fruit with me.

arrrgh having a major stress meltdown this am. g wants fed constantly which is making ds bored.. the phone keeps ringing, our washing mountain has grown too with a spilt beaker of milk on our king size duck down duvet.. which has to be professionally cleaned, g posseting, ds deciding to 'help' with the washing up.. soaking me and him in the process and the kitchen floor . all i wanted was an easy am before going to a play group.. which starts at 10 and we're now running late for.

sophietom fruit tea loaf - yum! 5-a-day? well it has fruit in it

no apology from DH just out the door at 7.30 for work. I just know when he comes home I am going to get the silent treatment .

On a brighter note M is loving her play gym today kicking away, grabbing and giggling for the last half hour.

morning all..

ses glad your DH is feeling a little better

momino "only pleasure"...sounds familiar

febes when I met him he enjoyed a drink and to be honest at first we would share a bottle of wine most evenings but while I could take it or leave it he didn't see to. I didn't like feeling rough the next day, admittedly before I go pg I enjoyed a good night out but since having M 2 glasses of wine is about my limit.

I have asked him not to drink when he looks after M solo and he has agreed .

Looby it sounds like you are having such a hard time with your DH. I hope he has apologised this morning

Febes you must be exhausted- surely the housework can wait. I suggest that when your DH takes the kids out you put your feet up with a magazine instead!

I am up to my armpits in laundry, so far today we have bedsheets that are covered in leaked breast milk and baby puke (they were clean on yesterday), two sleep bras and sets of washable breast pads soaked in breastmilk, one poo covered babygro and two sicky muslins... lovely.
Just had a bowl of cereal for breakfast but the cake I made yesterday is calling me- does fruit tea loaf count as one of your 5 a day if you eat enough of it?

I find with food and drink if we don't buy it, we can't consume it, as we don't live particularly near any shops. When I was in my twenties i lived next door to a corner shop which was open til 10pm and sold sweets, cakes, alcohol etc so that was really tempting of an evening.

Looby- I really hope you can help make your DH realise how dependent he is on drinking, if he could only manage one night without it. If he swears its not a problem, then challenge him to last longer without one.

Since being on ADs i haven't really fancied a drink and have decided to be teetotal as alcohol counteracts the benefits of the ADs as it is a depressant.

Quick one as we are having a manic one this morning! And this is my 'quiet' day with ds while dd is at creche at dh at work .

Looby really sorry to hear about your evening. Don't think I have anything useful to say but am thinking of you.

ses i hope your dh is ok and you all avoid sf or get it over with quickly and without too much unpleasantness.

momino I get the "it's my only pleasure" line too, I cannot understand why men don't seem to realise what an insult that is ! Fortunately though dh drinks regularly, ie most days, in general it's moderate. Going out and drinking used to be our main shared activity but luckily we've both toned it down since dd arrived.

can't say the same about current desire for snacking on naughty foods though

Looby Has he been like this for a long time??

I had a bad night with DS he woke 11, 2,4,5,6 at least DD slept until 8. I tried to put the dummy in but he wanted feeding each time growth spurt again??? My boobs are huge this morning so he's stimulated the supply again for sure.

DH and I had a huge row yesterday because he didn't get up and come car booting with me, and slept in until noon. This meant he only saw DCs for les than an hour becasue we went out yesterday afternoon. I gave him a right grilling cause he could have made the effort. He can take them out for me today so I can get some cleaning done. Oh joy .

alcohol i find it becomes a habit.. like my current naughty non weight loss foods. i miss stopping eating them or drinking at first then i get to the stage i'm not that bothered.. since having g i'm still not bothered about alcohol and the couple of times i've had my favourite tipple i've not enjoyed it

Morning!

Still not totally sure if DH has swine flu. He's still controlling his temperature with paracetamol and is still a bit achey but says he feels a bit better than yesterday. I guess if it is SF, then he's only got it mildly.

Looby - hope M settled well for you last night. Sounds like another conversation is needed with your DH which won't be easy.

Momino - bloomin' cheek "only pleasure!!"

Frazzled - sorry, I missed it was your birthday. Hope you had a good one.

should have been look 2 posts above. would have been more effective.

oh, and ses, how's your family today? do you think dh has sf? hope you're taking care of yourselves and resting, vitamins, liquids, etc.

looby, hw did your night go? i'm sorry your DH had a drink again. sounds really tough and sending virtual support your way.

llare, i've been paying attention to your advice. my DH isn't super heavy drnker but i do think we both have tendencies and alcohol does create probs/arguments. DH started to open a beer last night, this after a huge night out drinkng as well as been drinkin every night last week. he should have been hungover and avoiding. he says it's his 'only pleasure' . anyway, gave him a [anger] look, i told him i wanted an alcohol free day and he left it <sigh of relief>.

frazzled. was it your bday? tried to send you FB message but kept telling me 'profile unavailable' . hope you had a great day, xx.

hope everyone had at least a good chunk of sleep. one-handed typing again. will be back on later.

looby I've no experience of living with a heavy drinker but it sounds really hard sending you big hugs <if you are a hug person> or a manly pat on the back and hope m settles for you.

I don't mean to be overly alarmist, but if he drinks a lot I wouldn't leave M alone with him. I didn't leave DS1 alone with DH until he'd been sober for a year, after I watched him fall slowly to the side while kneeling on the floor, holding DS1 after a nappy change.

DH never really admitted to me how much he actually drank, but it was far more than he ever drank in front of me.

But again, I'm bringing my own experience to this. He may not be an alcoholic, but if it is causing you relationship problems then it is a fairly big clue.

M is crying her eyes out upstairs - he obviously can't cope

better go and rescue her...

Alcoholics (if that is what he is, I can only go by my own experience) are notoriously selfish. They don't see the world like non-alcoholics. In fact, he has probably justified it in his head by convincing himself that you'd appreciate time with his daughter to bond.

wish I was at the pub now...

at least then he'd be forced to look after both his daughters

sorry for moaning

I feel sorry for his other daughter, she's sat downstairs watching tv with me. He only sees her every other weekend so you'd think he'd be down here with us instead of listening to loud music upstairs with a bottle of red wine .

11 year olds should entertain themselves, IMO.

sorry me, me, me...

with no chance of rest and a bored 11yr old to entertain as well as M

thanks llare

one step forward and two back - I want to scream at him but can't

So M will have an unsettled night and he will piss off to work tomorrow leaving me with M and his daughter all day.

<hugs loobs>

M has just woken up and as my DH is in charge he has decided to go up and play supertramp to her to get her to sleep

why does he not realise that it is not going to work

oh - that would be BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN DRINKING - AGAIN!!

my stepdaughter is here and I have managed to say the f word in front of her (bad stepmum )

Thanks all and Tummum for voice of experience. Fever did come on v suddenly but seems controlled by paracetamol and he does have those other symptoms I mentioned but no sign of (much of) a cough though so maybe it's not SF.
I think we'll stay calm, keep him dosed with paracetamol and see how he is in the morning.

Good to know that G didn't get it Tummum.

Looby - sounds like sod's law to me. If you'd have gone, she probably wouldn't have settled. Enjoy your wine.

decided to stay in..having a glass of wine and watching top gear instead.

Ironically M has just fallen asleep on DH halfway thro her bottle so he's put her in her cot and so far she's still asleep

Go on Looby ! Is it far away? If not, you can always rush back if you need to.

Sorry Ses DH was demanding I helped tidy up . The advice I got when we were ill was that a high temp that comes on very quickly, plus normal flu symptoms = swine flu. Classic symptom is hacking cough / shortness of breath too. Be reassured that G didn't come down with anything despite the rest of the family being (supposedly) ill with sf. Hope he gets better soon.

what to do?

(pub is only 15min walk away so I could be home quickly)

bum- she's just texted again

hope its not swine flu ses

just had a text from my friend to see if I want to go the local pub quiz
she's got the night off her DH is looking after her 2 children

don't know what to do. my DH has never looked after M in the evening altho she does have a bottle of formula about now which he is giving her she usually looks for breast after for comfort..

trouble is I'm supposed to be going out on sat night so I guess he's going to have to get used to looking after her on his own?

ses your poor dh <and you if it's really s flu.. not just manflu> fingers crossed for dh to have a speedy recovery.

Hi Ses

Sounds like sf to me. Sorry but honestly it wasn't too bad for me.

My Dr advised to take ibuprofen and paracetamol at the same time. Will be back in a min

Good luck finding a thermometer. I looked yesterday and there were none to be found.

Thanks Llare.
I've got enough paracetamol to last 24hrs. I don't have a thermometer in the house but he definitely feels hot.
Will go out for more paracetamol and a thermometer tomorrow if there's no change.

I should be able to work these things out for myself really as I'm a pharmacist but I was just thrown a bit!

Ses, I'm not a doctor (or any kind of health professional) but a friend of mine works in Public Health and has been keeping me sane on the subject of SF. She sent me an email recently linking to this which is an online flu survey. It also has useful information about flu treatment.

She also told me that it isn't worth taking the antivirals unless pregnant, or a child under 1, or have underlying health issues. She told me that the antivirals cause pretty nasty side-effects on their own.

I hope he feels better soon. Have you got plenty of paracetamol etc? You might want to make sure you have a syringe in the house in case you need to give calpol to the baby?

Just a quick post.
DH reckons he may have swine flu. He definitely has a temperature and also complaining of aching limbs, headache and sore throat. He's in bed and I've given him some paracetamol.
Really hoping it's not and that whatever it is, DS and I steer clear.
Tummum - if you're lurking, any advice?

and before i forget and the evening gets manic.. happy birthday frazzle hope you're having a lovely day.

bath time I bath g during the day at some point and ds either first thing in the am or before bed depending on our day and how tired he is. i can't bath g in the evening as she generally feeds hourly from 5pm until 9ish then sleeps a bit and wakes at 10.30ish for her last top up till 6/7..

Euromum I don't have any specific information on baby massage as I did a course with PFB DS1. It was lovely. We learned the various techniques and DS loved it, as I said earlier. With DS2 I gentle smooth his tummy with the heel of my hand (IYSWIM) from left to right, applying gentle pressure. This usually relieves wind and calms him down. Be careful though, when doing this without a nappy a great big poo can sometimes be the result!

ANother good trick for wind is to lift the legs, and bend the knees towards the tummmy (obviously not forcing it) and I often do that together with the tummy rubbing.

TBH I don't think you can go far wrong by just getting some olive oil and starting at the top of the body, and working down. I did see a book in our local library, perhaps you could try Amazon?

euromum, i know what you mean! wise, i am not, i'm afraid.

spangle, that happens with harper sometimrs. some good advice given on here - will heed it myself.

routines, we're in a very loose one but I still base it pretty much on H's demand. she does seem to love a bath, it must be soothing to them.

last night H slept from 8pm to 7am! she usually wakes at 4/5am for a short feed and sometimes at 11pm but she slept through last night, maybe because she knew i'd had too much to drink and needed the sleep . bless her. she is 12 weeks so hoping this becomes a regular pattern.

Thanks llare Febes euromum

I think we will try morning baths and evening massage and see how that goes. The reason we started the bedtime routine was because he would just start getting grumpy/crying around 8pm and wouldn't settle in the living room, though he will sleep through the evening in the dark/quiet of our room. I think he's just too interested in the world around him to go to sleep!

And by the way, some of you wise experienced parents might be able to answer this for me - WHY are toddlers always so filthy???! I honestly don't know how she does it. Snot, mud, jam, you name it, it's smeared on her somewhere - even if she has, like, NEVER been in the vicinity of the thing in question. Even when we put her to bed clean I'm sure she just wakes up dirty . Or should that be maybe? (I do wash her sheets by the way, it isn't that...)

Hi llareggub do you know where I can find some good info on baby massage? Sounds great. Do you know if it might help with wind? T seems to be really bothered by wind in the evenings - I quite like the sound of massaging it away and ending up with a nice floppy tired baby!

Re routines we also in have basically none whatsoever, just demand feeding and seeing what happens. Dd settled down into her own routine eventually so I'm expecting ds to do that too. For the moment we keep his moses basket downstairs with us and he naps on and off until we take it upstairs when we go to bed, usually far too late (often midnight - no wonder I'm constantly knackered! But we really appreciate the time by ourselves). I have been wondering when T is going to need to settle earlier in the evening, but sometimes he has his most alert time of the day from 8.30 or 9pm onwards. This happened yesterday and then for the first time EVER he slept from midnight till 7am without waking for a feed!! I even woke first in fact . He was just lying there with his eyes wide open, having a good stare at the ceiling . What a cutie. I'm hoping it's the start of sleeping through (you never know...). When that does happen, over time we'll just bring his bedtime forward with dream feed until he no longer needs that either. Optimistically forward planning! Now all we need is a co-operative baby .

Also spangle we do T's bath in the morning as he loves it too and it wakes him up nicely. Means dh can do it before going to work if he wants, although he's usually having plenty of fun water-fighting with dd while he showers and we attempt to pin her down long enough to get her wet and vaguely resembling clean before nursery . I am not sure whether her terrible twos are infuriating or hilarious!

Spangle You could try bringing the bath time forward to 5ish and then putting him to bed before 7 even if he wakes up for another feed treat it as a night time feed (no talking, feed and put straight back in bed etc). DH can do the bath time on the weekends H should get the hang of it eventually and then you will have all evening to yourselves.

Could you ditch the bath completely and do baby massage instead? DS1 used to love a massage and it did wonders for his skin and encouraged him to poo more often. We used organic sunflower oil (poncetastic) and he would go all floppy and relaxed afterwards. You could do bathtime at a different time of day until he is a bit older?

Thanks for the advice Fi and pula. I was wondering about bringing his bath forward. We're not actually trying to make him go to bed early, we just want to help him get to a point where we help him go to sleep when he wants to. He loves his baths and maybe it's just a bit too much excitement at a time he needs to be winding down. It's a shame because DH loves doing them but as it is he struggles to get back from work on time.... hmm, thinking about it that might possibly be part of the problem too as H loves his Dad and gets really excited when he comes home.

Spangle- i was going to suggest splitting his last feed up before and after his bath to help get him through his bath but it sounds like that is what happened last night anyway. S has been doing the waking 45 mins after going to bed thing for the last 3 nights, but think it is wind-related.

spangle your first instinct of the overtired angry cry seems most likely to me.. maybe h is getting totally worn out with his bath making him too tired.. esp if he's conking out for a quick nap.. before long he wakes up recharged & realizes he's still hungry? how about bringing his feed/ bath/feed time forward a bit? esp as he manages a long sleep after. with the thrashing though sounds like trapped wind

morning everyone.. i need a name check amnesty.. only had time to read not post over last few days.

brownieb hiya & congrats on your lo.. born on my birthday too!

febes i hope your dh has the common sense to be truly grateful for his dc free sleep esp with you not getting much sleep yourself!

routines my philosophy is the same as llareggub's but we did instigate a bedtime routine as it seemed () H was wanting to go to sleep for 8/8.30pm. Similar to pula we only have 45min naps here, and I agree 2 hour naps would be lovely

Re the above - it seems we just can't get things right in the evenings lately Well, some are ok, but the last two have been particularly bad. We give H a bath around 7.15pm, the idea then is he has cuddles and a feed and goes to sleep for 8/8.30 if it takes him a while to drift off. Except what actually happens is that he's fine up until DH is dressing him, then he starts crying (angry, tired cry). I take him to the bedroom, try to get him to feed but he arches his back and screams at me, then I spend 20min rocking and shh-ing/singing to him until he's calm, then put him down and after half an hour or more of furious finger sucking and thrashing about, he'll go to sleep. Sometimes he'll wake up hungry after 45min but mostly will sleep through until 1am.

It doesn't seem to matter whether he's had a good sleep in the day or not, or when he had his last nap (eg yesterday he napped from 6.30 to 7.15 and we bathed him as soon as he'd been fed and his milk had gone down, but he was even screamier than usual). Sometimes I think he must be hungry, but as I said, he point blank refuses to feed, even after he's calmed down from crying it just sends him back to wher he was.

I know it's not as bad as some people's problems but I'm finding I'm dreading bedtimes which is probably not helping. Anyone got any ideas?

I'm just anal!! I demand feed so I think the bedtime is the only routine that I do at this stage but DD always naps at the same time but if we are out or doing something different we adjust it to suit or just change as required. So not too anal .
I'm off car booting today if I can drag DH out of bed. He got home at 3am from work stayed up till 4am and then came to bed. Groped me and woke me up I was so pissed off as I had been up feeding at 3am. Then he rolled over onto me in his sleep at 5am and then DS wanted feeding at 5.30 and 7.30.
I got up and took DD down for breakfast after that so he has had uninterupted sleep. And I'm taking the DCs out this afternoon on my own. He better get up without complaining.

Although DS2 does have a bedtime routine, his days are a bit all over the place still, although i would rather he was in a routine (especially one that involved nice 2 hour naps as at the moment, it seems to be 15, 30 or 45 min naps ). I guess he will be forced into a routine come September as we will have the school run every day so we will have to time feeds and sleeps around this.

I'm a bit anti-routine, to be honest, as I take the lazy relaxed approach with babies. DS2 sleeps downstairs until we go to bed when we transfer him upstairs. I feed on demand so figure I should let him nap on demand too.

DS1 settled into his own routine and when that happened I was happy to stick with it. He's in bed by 7.30pm and I am hopeful that DS2 will get there too. By the time he goes into his own room at 6 months I hope to have discovered his routine.

Potty-training is going well. DS1 took himself off to use the loo for a number two today so we clapped and cheered and then gave him chocolate to celebrate. We went to the park (by car, so a fairly long trip) and he stayed dry throughout. No accidents today so touch wood we are getting there. I've probably been incredibly silly but we've put him to bed without a nappy as I thought we might as well kill two birds with one stone and get him dry at night too.

Looby glad to hear that you had a good chat with DH about the drinking and sex. I hope it all goes well.

Right, off to check ebay. I've got a bit addicted and have ebayed all the pre-pregnancy clothes that are now too big (yay!) and my maternity clothes, which made me shed a tear. Is that silly, to cry over maternity clothes? Maybe I do want that third baby!

I do like routines. I think its the teacher coming out in me. I also let DS cry a bit and put him into bed awake. I have been lying on our bed for about half an hour each night while he falls asleep so I'm there if he cries but once he's in bed I don't get him out again just shush, pat and use a dummy and pull the musical thingy. He's getting better and better at getting to sleep and for his naps is even better I usually have to go up once to him after I put him down but then he goes to sleep. I don't have a monitor but we are in a 3 b-room terrace so not a big house but I can't hear DS when we are in the garden as our room is in the front so I have to check him often.

Momino - that sounds good! Enjoy a few drinks

Looby - sounds like you handled the situation with DH well and got a good outcome. Hope he sticks to what he's said and that things continue positively.

Routines - DS is 11 weeks today and I still don't have him in a proper routine. I want to try and get him to start sleeping in his cot earlier in the evening but I want to use a monitor. We have one that someone from DH's work gave us but we need an adaptor as it has an american plug. Guess I could look on Amazon.

No plans here for this evening. Went to see my mum this afternoon with O as it's her birthday.

What's everyone doing tonight? am going to a wedding evening do in about 45 min and haven't started getting ready yet. I'm still feeding Harper as well so a bit stuck. usually my dressing up ritual is simply to take a wet wipe to my topc exchange trainers for heels, smooth down my hair and out the door. i honestly feel i don't have time for more.

Hope all are well and will toast you tonight - the 1st wedding celebration in 4 years where I haven't been pregnant!

Sophie I started a bed time routine when both DCs were 3/4 weeks it took them both 2/3 weeks to get it but it is worth perservering.

sophie- we started a bedtime routine at 5 weeks, but it wasn't until about 7 or 8 weeks that S would go down consistently around 7 or 7.30pm. Before that it could be any time up to 9.30pm when he would settle. So it could just take time for J to get used to the new routine.

Hi everyone - hope you are all having good days.
I managed a lovely bath today whilst J lay on a playmat on the bathroom floor- bliss and I was able to have a glass of wine last night as J was asleep before 10! This was after 2 hours of us settling him in his crib every 20 mins when he cried- is 7 weeks too early for us to be trying to establish a bedtime routine? he seems so sleepy from 7pm but is not happy about us trying to put him in his crib. We'vebeen trying for a week and the earliest he has settled is 9.

morning here. looby, so glad to hear you and DH have chatted and are more on the same level of understanding. keeping good relations with DH is very difficult with having babies/very young children.

*Jennster at you dd1 swearing. about pushing, similarly, i shook dd1's arm roughly when she was being rough with dd2 as a baby. felt badly after it but dd1 was fine. now, i see the same thing happening with dd2 who is being rough with Harper. I'm constantly telling dd2 to be gentle but she is always pulling H, bending her fingers back , laying on top of her, etc. i've not pushed her back yet but am so close...

KIT, must do some of these as well but i have no desire to go back to work. Think it would be smart to do these and will probably force myself.

euro, i feel exactly the same when i let Harper cry. Ithink I do let her cry too much but normally she seems happy like right now she's smiling at me and kicking her legs excitedly so i can't be all that bad !

Day started out annoyingly with the shower still leaking through our kitchen ceiling - had the plumber out but even he couldn't figure out where it might be leaking. So we can't really decorate the kitchen until we figure it out. Gotta be water getting behind some tiles inside the shower stall . we're going to try re-sealing today.

Hope everyone is having a sunny, good day.

looby- well done you and hope things get better now that you have chatted.

I must confess to being a shouty horrible mummy sometimes too, but i must say since i've been on ADs i am more chilled and i think i've only got really cross once with DD. Also when DD is doing things to push my buttons i just ignore it rather than get angry. I think it helps that DS2 is getting very smiley now and not so colicky so i am generally in a much better mood.

morning ladies...

Thanks for all your support

Made DH come for a walk to the duck pond with me and M last night and had a bit of a chat. He's agreed to try to knock the alcohol on the head a bit and try to be a bit more understanding re: sex. I have agreed to try harder in the bedroom department. Think I managed to get my point across tho as last night in bed instead of turning his back on me he cuddled me (without sticking a hard-on in my back) .
We shall see how we get on, it did seem that I was the one doing all the talking but then he's never been good at expressing his feelings.

Not showered yet as M very snuffly and wanted cluster feed this morning. DH is upstairs painting the nursery and M has just fallen asleep on the sofa so now working out if I can stop her rolling off so I can go get in the shower

Good morning you dreadful mummies. I count myself with you. I haven't sworn at the dc yet, but we obviously haven't been as careful at not swearing in their presence as dd1 (3.5y) the other day was standing in the bath saying 'f**cking hell, f**cking hell, f**cking hell' over and over with a cheeky grin on her face. You should have seen the looks on our faces

I also admit to pushing dd1. She was deliberately hurting dd2 who was only a month old at the time. It was instinctive and I was trying to separate them but still . That was not a very good day.

OK, we're bad parents in this house! A slept until 6, fantastic! But why has DD1 started waking at 5:30?! DH got a bit cross with her this morning, bless him he's knackered. Gone back to bed now, and A is asleep.

browniebells - realised I'd forgotten to say welcome back and congratulations on your LO! My work does the KIT days too, didn't use them with DD1 but might consider it this time.

Morning,

Momino I have lots of bad mummy days too - I hope you're feeling better and have a good day today. It's so up and down isn't it. I must say, a big THANK YOU from me for admitting to letting the baby cry for a while. I hardly ever did that with dd but I yesterday I let T cry himself to sleep for 20 mins and felt incredibly evil about it. In general I leave him to cry much more than I would like but I just don't seem to have enough hands to deal with them both, and dd is so much more vocally demanding and physically imposing - she can literally throw her weight around much more. I am finding the balance of the 2 of them by far the most challenging (ie horrible!) part of having more than 1 child, I just feel like I never give either of them the attention they need. Doesn't help that T is much more sleepy during the day that dd was at his age, so I worry that he's not being stimulated enough and needs us to play with him more instead of sticking him in his chair/playpen/bed while we yet again do something else . I'm sure he's ok - in fact I'm probably remembering things all worng and dd was maybe not that alert until later either, but I actually find it really upsetting . That's my constant bad mummy worry. People keep saying that this is the treatment all 2nd babies get and no-one was ever yet seriously traumatised by it, but it doesn't help that much .

Well anyway, didn't mean to splurge all that really. Am up before everyone else and enjoying the peace - hopefully it'll be a good day! Had better get through the shower now though before they all get up and the mayhem begins...

By the way Browniebells your keeping in touch days at work sound like a great idea. Must make going back a bit easier - I found that the drastic contrast between full time work and full time mothering was the most difficult thing about going on maternity leave and then going back to work afterwards. It's a bit 'all or nothing'!

looby - agree with pp, your DH is being a wotsit. Lots of good advice from everyone else, so just sympathy from me. After DD1 was born, DH and I went through a similar patch (although without the alcohol). DH at one point asked me if I was having an affair because of the lack of bedroom action and affection, yeah right, like I had the time or inclination for that! I had huge problems caused by the breastfeeding, as well as the zero libido I had problems with dryness and shocking mood swings. This time, DH has been a bit more understanding, though still not 'hands off' enough for my liking.

daizy - Congratulations! I know what you mean about being broody, a friend of mine is pregnant and I'm quite of her lovley bump!

momino - I've shouted at DD1 too, fairly regularly . No swearing (yet, I'm sure it'll come) but I am completely overreacting to her at times. I think I forget that she is so young and at times I expect too much of her.

lol at the 'not quite cut out for this but too late now' club, I think there would be thousands of members although it might vary from day to day. Today I am not a member, but yesterday I would have been!

llaregub - I have, on occasion, also thought that the Space Pirates captain is the most attractive man on CBeebies! Mr Maker is a big hit in our house, but BCLC are idiots. They can't cook, don't appear to like children and don't enjoy presenting!

DH is watching The Beach on tv, never seen it before but it's a bit bloody - just looked up to see loads of people getting shot. Sweet dreams!

Woo hoo - I'm an Auntie to a little baby girl She was 2 weeks overdue and only weighed about 7 1/2lb!! I've all broody again

Gosh this thread does still move quite quick!

Looby - hope all goes well for you and dh - think all advice that has been offered is sound - hugs to you with that one.

Ahem - I can join the bad Mummy club - have had very stern words with DS1 tonight and told him that his behaviour was totally unacceptable - he's 3½ for goodness sake, but I sometimes expect him to act as if he's 6 or 7! tho I haven't used the F word to him, I have shouted at him and scared him witless on the odd occasion

Someone mentioned meeting friends from work - I have actually been in to work over the last 2 weeks - my compnay offer up to 10 "keeping in touch days" which I can do during maternity leave and get paid for..I have done 3 so far.

DH is off to watch the motor bikes on SUnday - so I am solo with both boys from 6am......not sure my patience or imagination for play will hold out for the 12+ hours I will be on my own!

Off to bed shortly - have good weekends everyone

Lunch was good. The Area Manager that I used to work alongside came too and it was good to catch up. I really don't want to go back...
They got me a huge bouquet of purple and cream flowers and a couple of hanging toys, set of vests&sleepsuits and a set to take a hand or foot imprint of DS.

DS slept nicely on the journey there but was a bit unsettled on the way back. We managed though!

On the alcohol front, my favourite tipple (other than wine) always used to be bacardi and diet coke but I've still not had one!

daizy - hope all's gone well for your SIL.

martinis are a good tonic for swine flu. better than antibiotics. really.

ooo martini, thanks for reminding me - I have 1/2 a bottle of martini i'd forgotten about. Also got a bottle of pimms for my birthday. Wonder how long it'll take to get the kids into bed

Obviously I am still very very ill with swine flu

OOooh Martini - now you're talking <takes swig of large G&T and ponders making a martini. Well, I have olives in the fridge >

oh, i love you gals [cheesy MN hug and sigh emoticon]. you do cheer me up. i'm sorry you have difficult times as well but i do feel better knowing that i'm not the only mum screaming and yelling and saying the F word. dandy, that is very, very funny about your friend pushing over a toddler. i agree with tummum that i've wanted so much to do that in a similar situation .

llare, i like the doodle do man. Can't stand Mr Maker or Big cook/little cook either, tummum*.

*daizy, best wishes to you SIL, that's exciting.

tummum, still have the gin? i think i'd like an icy martini with 3 stuffed olives, thank you!

Loobey, sorry to hear of your dh probs. The others have given good advice.

Can I join the bad mummmy club. I've had a nightmare day, which has resulted in me screaming at the lo's

On the positive side, I will be an aunt before the day is out. My sil was induced this am and the last I heard she was 8cm and only then had she used the gas and air!

Llare I suppose he does look a bit like Johnny Depp... a very deshrevelled (can't spell) Johnny Depp, but you'd have to squint a bit to get him to look like that ! What are you like?!!

Dandy ROFL about your friend. That's something I'd absolutely do as a gut reaction before my 'parent' brain would start up to assess the situation

Am laughing (because if not I'd be crying) at the thought of a "not sure I'm quite cut out for this but it's a bit late now" club. Sign me up

Momino I've screamed at DD in the past and used the F word to her. I feel very ashamed of it and it's a boundary I don't want to pass again. But it's difficult. We are adults with our own emotions and who - like most adults - are capable of acting in a childish adult way because it's just a knee-jerk emotional reaction. A friend of mine was ashamed of herself the other week because a boy of about 2/3 pushed her 1.5 year old daughter over deliberately and my friend's instinctive reaction was to push <him> over ... She then found she had an audience of three mothers/nannies who'd witnessed her, a 40 something, push over a toddler

I have a tiny crush on the chap from Space Pirates.

Oh Monimo what a rubbish morning. I'd like to join you in the "not sure I'm quite cut out for this but it's a bit late now" club

<passes the large bottle of gin - it is Friday evening now, after all!>

DH just called to say he is on the way home. In a foul mood. Great. Apparently I was being highly annoying by saying "yeees?" in a sarcy tone when I answered the phone. I was juggling a screaming baby, clingy toddler and smart-arse 5yo old at the time Hope he cheers up by the time he gets home.

Can I also say that Space Pirates is possibly the most annoying kids TV programme ever, although Mister Maker and Big Cook Little Cook could give it a run for it's money. Dd2 has just fallen asleep in front of the TV, v cute

looby, i'm sorry you're going through a tough time and thinking of you. llare and the others have posted really good advice to which I can't add. febes/tummum/euro said so many true things about how we feel after childbirth as well, can really hit the libido not to mention self esteem (i don't feel sexy either - has been at least six months since sex )

Msg, glad to hear you're well. sounds lovely to hear how C falls asleep on you. i'm such a bad mummy and sometimes put Harper down to cry for a bit while i get the other 2 ready for bed. she doesn't cry for an hour but it can be 20 min or so .

another bad mummy alert, no need to respond, i'm just venting. this morning was awful. by 7.30 i'd already lost my patience as i was trying to beat the clock to get girls dressed and fed, h Bfed, guestroom ready, laundry, diswasher emptied, myself dressed, etc by 9am to take dd1 to GP. dd1&2 were extra whingy and pushing all buttons. the straw that broke me was when i'd moved my coffee out of the way yet dd1 still managed to tip it over onto the floor all over her, me, baby. i screamed (not yelled) at her and even used the 'F' word to her x2. i'm so ashamed. my screaming set off all 3 DD's and i just kept yelling at them whilst they were crying. i felt so ashamed. i did say i was sorry and that i shouldn't have yelled at them and it wasn't dd1's fault... blah blah.

i sometimes don't think i'm cut out for this. too late i know . i fell better now as in laws here to help today but can't help feeling like a horrible mum for screaming in a terrible voice and with terrible words. just hope they don't repeat it.

hope you're all well today in any case. off to get tea ready.

You need to help him see that he has a problem. The amount of alcohol consumed isn't helpful in diagnosing a problem with alcohol. He has a problem with alcohol because it is having a knock-on affect on his life with his family. You need to point out all of the problems his excessive drinking is causing and tell him his drinking is the cause. The ball is then in his court and it is up to you how much of a chance you give him.

I really, really feel for you. Try not to excuse his drinking or cover up the problems. It really is in his interest to face up to it. You can't help him by enabling him.

Looby- sorry you are having a difficult time with DH. I think you need a chat about his drinking and your relationship/feelings, before he starts drinking.

And YANBU about not wanting to oblige last night. We haven't resumed relations yet and my DH keeps suggesting how it will make me feel better as though he is doing me a favour but i really don't have any urges at the moment.

thanks llare I appreciate it. Unfortunatley DH does not think he has a problem

Oh Looby, I am sorry. If you ever want to talk about it off-board I'm happy to. I've been through it all over the last few years and you need to remember that it is a disease. He isn't doing it to spite you or make you angry, he genuinely can't help it.

We were lucky in that DH admitted to himself he had a problem and sought help from the AA and it has changed his life. There is a meeting every day and if you DH is willing to give it a go he'll get all the help he needs from there. If he won't then please get help yourself from Al-anon.

Seriously, if you ever want to talk let me know. There is also a thread on here somewhere for the partners of addicts, which is a great source of support. x

llare thanks. I've been worried about DH drinking for a while .

thought when we got married he would stop drinking every day, then when I got pg he said he'd stop, then thought when M arrived it would stop - but no.

the only person I've said all this to is an aunt I am close to, she agreed that it sounded like he had a problem when I told her he got thro over a bottle of red every night and couldn't remember a night when he hadn't had a drink.

just bought myself a new bf top off ebay to cheer myself up

I have to be really careful when posting on alcohol issues as I think my DH's experience has skewed my view on problems with alcohol. What I have learned over the last few years is that the stereotypical image of an alcoholic is often far from the truth. No one would ever, ever guess that my DH is an alcoholic. Even when he was drinking, it wasn't immediately obvious. Hell, even I didn't suspect.

What I have come to learn about drinking is that when a person's drinking is causing relationship problems, or there is a fear of leaving that person with a child, then it is likely or probable that there are dependency issues. It's kind of like alcohol becomes a problem when it causes other problems, IYSWIM.

I'm not saying for a moment that your DH is an alcoholic Loobey as only he can really admit that, but alarm bells rang when I read your post. My DH's problems came to the fore after the birth of our first child and he has now been sober for nearly 3 years. I could have posted (actually did but under another name) what you did but 3 years ago.

As I said, I'm often reluctant to post about alcohol in case I see problems where there aren't, and if there isn't a problem I apologise. But if there are issues then you would be wise to seek outside help from Al-anon for yourself as alcohol dependency is tough on families.

Ignore my post if it isn't relevant, sorry if I've jumped to conclusions.

Oh Loobs just seen your last post. I can understand why you are feeling low as you are worrying about him as well as being the full time carer of M. Can you as part of your talk express your concerns and ask him not to drink if he is in sole charge of M? If he can't promise that, do you have anyone else who can babysit even if it means that you only go for an hour?

just as soon as I've watched neighbours...

also thanks running ses

gonna try and tidy up the |dumping ground dining room so we can sit down and talk over dinner

thanks spangle euromum

will try taking some of your advice. Needless to say I am more tired today and therefore more short tempered
having been woken at 11.30 and 2am by DH (would have had 6hrs unbroken sleep otherwise like M)

lol euromum thats the bit made me really angry too!

Yes also agree with Tum its hard to feel sexy when sometimes I don't even have time for a shower let alone putting make up on... and don't even get me started on the sexiness of bf bras.

Loobs hope you get some progress with a talk xx

thanks for the advice/reassurance tummum febes

just feel really low at the moment, doesn't help that M never sleeps during the day - would just love an hour to myself to have a long shower, shave legs, spend some time on anything but trying to keep the house tidy and clean

don't think DH will ever stop drinking - when we met he used to blame it on missing his daughter and to be honest I used to like a drink too so let it be . but now I hardly ever drink and don't particularly miss the hangovers, rows, etc.

I'm due to go out with friends next sat and I'm not sure I'm gonna go - it's a horrible thing to say but I know DH will be sat at home with her drinking and I'm not sure I trust his judgement after one too many . He always says "I'm not drunk!" but last night he couldn't even find the staircase in our bedroom till I put the main light on! and he managed to fall up the stairs on the way back up.
We live in a victorian semi with steep stairs (2 flights to our bedroom) I am always so careful when carrying M up to bed

By the way Looby I'm not sure what it says about me/my relationship with dh, but what initally outraged me most about your post was when he woke you up trying to get to the toilet at 2am. I could handle the thought of being repeatedly pestered by a drunk dh but FGS DON'T WAKE ME UP WHEN THE BABY IS SLEEPING !!

Looby definitely NBU. Your DH behaved like an arse. We've only done the deed twice since H was born. As the others have said, bf-ing and sleep deprivation do absolutely nothing for our libidos, never mind lecherous drunks (even if they are our DHs)!

It can be a bit of a vicious circle when one doesn't feel in the mood, then feels under pressure, which puts one even less in the mood, then more pressure etc.

To be fair to your (and my!) DH, it's only natural for him to want sex and expect that regular relations will be resumed at some point. Could you give him some hints - no, tell him straight - that getting horrendously drunk is not exactly making him attractive in your eyes. Being kind, complimentary, helpful, etc will help. Tummum is right, too, you need to feel good about yourself too.

Ooops H screaming, better go!

Was also going to just read and post later, but wanted to say hi to Looby and sorry to hear that things aren't great with your dh. Febes is right that a new baby is a huge change in life for both of you, and I know that it took me ages after having dd to realise that my dh was finding the adjustment really difficult as well, even though he didn't have to recover from labour, breastfeed, be up all night and look after a small baby all day every day, etc etc! For his own 'new dad reasons' it was a hard time for him too, even though we were both happy about dd.

So I suppose I would say, when you talk to him about it, it might help to present it as a joint problem of adapting to life as parents, rather than you having a problem caused by his behaviour. For us, learning to take this approach was the turning point at which we started to recognise ourselves as a couple again after having dd. I guess that way of looking at things might not be such a big deal for your dh, but I wanted to mention it as it took months for me to think of things that way and it was a really big help. And yes, definitely talk to him when he's not had a drink (mine has this 'coping mechanism' too, isn't it great...)

But YAdefinitelyNBU about feeling 'pestered' into relations sooner than you are ready. Childbirth and especially a cs is a huge thing and he does need to understand that. I have been very lucky to have straightforward deliveries both times - but it still took us about 4 months to get round to it last time, and looks like it'll be similar (or worse!) this time. I'm afraid your dh needs to accept that it's perfectly normal for this to take a while. But I think it actually is difficult for men to understand what a huge upheaval the whole thing is for women - sometimes they're just sincerely not getting it, rather than being w*nkers. For example I was astonished after having dd (and again now, to a lesser extent) by how emotionally the hormones caused me to react to EVERYTHING, and of course dh found that difficult too - but he also really had no idea that it was a normal consequence of childbearing, he just thought I'd turned into an irrantional ranting beast . It's not easy!

Anyway, I hope you can work things out with him and feel a bit better soon .

Hi All,

Nice to hear from you MsG glad you are enjoying being a Mum. I am another one who can't put lo down to sleep. Its got better since we have taken her into our bed as at least we are all 'resting' if not sleeping soundly. Altho...

It does mean that we haven't resumed relations yet. Although at 7 weeks I have only just started to feel normal down below! I would be willing I think if we ever got a moment to ourselves!

Loobs Sorry your dp is being twunt. I think you have had a lot to put up with since M arrived and it is bound to have an effect on your libido as well as the hormones from bf affecting it too. I think Febes has some v good advice above.

Have a good hol grump

Have just packed to go to Wales tonight. We seem to be taking everything bar the kitchen sink I'm dreading packing for a weeks hol next month!

Had a good morning tho, made it to a different mum and baby group despite a humungous poo from A just as I zipped her into the buggy... don't know how but it managed to soak all of her clothes and go right up her back without getting on the fleecy buggy liner, am so proud of my dd's precision pooing ability Was a nice morning though, I walked around there with my next door neighbour who has a 10month old and she introduced me to some of the other mums so I felt a bit more part of the group. Hopefully it will mean I get to know a few people around here soon.

Right must go, got a heavily pg friend and her 3yo coming over for a cuppa this afternoon. Must find our jointly purchased tens machine to hand over to her in readiness.

Might not get on over the weekend, if not, have a good one all x x

Looby I totally agree with Ses and Febes. He is being a tit. My DH was like this when I had DD1 and DD2. G is 13 weeks old and we haven't resumed relations . Well, there was a very quick quickie on on anniversary, but G started to cry at an awkward time !

My advice would be (and I need to take my own advice here....) think about how you could make yourself feel better about yourself e.g. wear nice clothes / make up, cook a lovely dinner and talk to each other, and try to avoid talking about M if you can help it. <Tumm makes mental note to put on some makeup and change out of joggers before DH comes home tonight>

Looby I'm so sorry your DH is being a tit. I think you need to talk about it when he hasn't had a drink. Tell him that if he wants more sex the best way to get into your good books (and pants) is to help you out with M, be a good dad, give you lots of compliments with out expecting sex in return and lay off the booze. Men are such fools. My DH has been like a dog on heat for the past month but instead of understanding that I feel like a fat, frumpy, feeding machine who needs a lot of warming up to feel like any sex. His idea of foreplay is to press his hard on into my leg, back, or wherever he can.

BFing really affects your libido, not to mention the disturbed sleeps for the past 2-3 months.

We have resumed regular relations and it does get better and feel less weird and uncomfortable and I think it has been easier to get back into it this time round as the shock hasn't been so great as we have been through it before. Having a child is so life changing and it will chnage your relationship but you need to tell him how you are feeling especially about the drinking (my DH is a drinker to so I understand).

I hope you are ok and not letting it get to you too much.

Just about to go out for lunch but just saw your post Looby and YAdefNBU!

We've still not resumed relations which I feel v bad about and I think DH is trying not to demand so instead keeps asking for BJs which isn't really encouraging tbh!


I'm sure for all of us, things will settle down again eventually. Somehow we need to find a way of talking about it and - yes - if anyone's got any suggestions, I'll have them!

any advice/opinions welcomed

good or bad.

morning ladies..

TMI warning..

DH is a PITA altho probably with good reason. He hardly spoke to me all night and didn't want to eat what I cooked for dinner then proceeded to drink 2 bottles of westons (8.4%) and a bottle of red. I went up to bed at 10.30 thinking he was following me up, needless to say he came up at 11.30 waking me up then moaned at me that I didn't pay him enough attention since M came along (sex in other words). I asked if we could talk about it tommorrow when I didn't have to worry about getting enough sleep/waking M, in other words when he sobered up, and he got annoyed with me. he went to sleep snoring loudly due to the alcohol but then woke me up loudly at 2am to put the light on cos he couldn't find the stairs and needed the loo!

Luckily M didn't wake and slept till she woke for a feed at 4.30.

Am I being really unreasonable? I know I haven't been that forthcoming in that department (sex only twice and a few helpful hands as it were) but my cs infection took a while to clear up and I found relations really painful
promised DH I would improve but I really don't feel very attractive anymore and to be honest his drinking is a right turn off!

Sorry me, me me just had to get it off my chest!

MsG - Only recently have we regularly put S down awake (he's 10 weeks), and we can only do that because he has a dummy which stops him crying. But sometimes he wants to be held or fed to sleep so we do that too.

Well S had his longest sleep ever last night, from 7pm to 2.40am . Still not sure whether to dreamfeed or not. The previous night he woke at 11.10pm so i fed him and then he slept til 4.30am. So he's finally stretching out his feeds.

Morning all

Just come on to wave at everyone, I will post periodically on holiday, I think I will probably need to vent (4 weeks with DH and kids).

I hope everyone is ok and all babies have slept and are smiling and gurgling.

A bientot!!

DS1 slept on me pretty much until he got to around 13 months when we started putting him to bed awake. It corresponded with him going into a "big bed" and apart from a few hiccups along the way, he goes to bed without a fuss. It's the horrendously early waking that is his (and our) problem.

MrsG Hi glad to hear you are enjoying being a mum. I believe you can't spoil a baby under 1yo. They do slowly 'get it'.My DS is so much better now than he was 2 weeks ago (nearly 10 weeks now)

MsG 4-5 hours for such little one is BRILLIANT. DD1 woke every 2 hours for what seemed like months and even at 6 months woke at least once in the night. Sounds like you're doing really really well. It's so lovely when they fall asleep on you isn't it? If your nipples are sore please get your latched checked. It's amazing the difference just a tiny tiny tweak to your technique can make. Sometimes you just need somebody to watch you, as it's not something you notice from looking down. Obviously C is getting what she needs, so no worries about that!

Hi everyone, just wanted to say hello. Sorry I've not been around much. I've not got online very much and then I can never find this thread and have to go through the old ones and click on the links!

Charlotte is doing well and putting weight on steadily (she was only 5.5 at birth due to my blood pressure) but she cries a lot at night. We were worried we'd got her into bad habits by letting her fall asleep on us but a health visitor today said she's very young to fall asleep on her own still, and it's good we're trying but it's fine to pick her up if she needs the comforting. I was just starting to worry in case we'd spoiled her already, even though she's only 7 weeks old tomorrow!

It's such a huge change. I love it mostly but am knackered and she's not a bad sleeper - we are lucky as she will often sleep for 4 or 5 hours on a night.

Feeding is getting easier though I still have sore nipples.

Anyway, will try to catch up soon!

xxx

Spangle Ooh, Dragon's Den - oh yes, let's!

Flippineck gah re your bras tip!! I have just bought new bf bras in the required new HUGE size and none of them approached being that cheap. I hope your tip is in time for someone else.

Grumpy . Weirdly I am more up for it than dh who is just not cooperating . Or should that be ? Hmm, I wonder whether perhaps he is as startled by my new boobs as I am - they were never small and are now a bit scary .

Anyway, runningmonkey congratulations on your night! I must say your good night though sounds like one of my bad ones so I take my hat off to your stamina for dealing with worse all the time. I hope it's the beginning of better sleep from now on.

Hi browniebells and congratulations on your long ds!

Well I had a fabulously effective shopping trip this morning - managed to get a very effective 'capsule' wardrobe for my new improved several-kilos-heavier self, thus taking the pressure off losing the rest of the baby weight . Totally failed to buy the necessary presents for other people though, but it was such fun pottering about with ds and stopping for coffee to feed him every now and again, I don't really mind an excuse to go out and do it again next week.

Sorry to anyone I've forgotten - hope everyone's heading for a good night...

She does look good for 72 though !

Wanting to be a mother for the 1st time at 72 !!!!!

Grumpy yay!

running hope you have a good night

Dandy do you think it could be one for Dragons' Den?!

World's oldest mothers is on next on channel4. Am going to watch it to make me feel young.

Just popped in while feeding after v productive day managed to iron and pack A and my bags for the weekend while she slept in bjorn. It's amazing how a bit more sleep has made me feel human and I have really enjoyed my cuddles and smiles with A today too. Fingers crossed for a good night tonight.

Tum - hope you feel better soon

hi brownie

grumps not easy to do emoticons on phone but wow! Happy hols indeed!!

Hi everyone else too x x

Obviously the hoilday began early

Grumpy I bet all this talk of freshly-baked muffins is wot put you in the mood

Grumpy - all at once!!

Strolls in, whistling nonchalantly


"I JUST HAD SEX"

Runs off beaming

Brownie Welcome back at your tall DS. Mine was 59cm at 8weeks and as DH and I are both 5'11 so will probably be tall as wel.

Dandy thats so funny. I am so making muffins tomorrow but not sharing with anyone .

Glad my muffin story amused you all.
Spangle we must be very good muffin makers if people want them to take-out. Perhaps we should set up a business. Maybe with the strap line: "your husband wants my muffin." No?

welcome browniebells

momino M didn't puke but she was a misery at mum & baby group
think she is definetly teething I can see something white coming thro her bottom gum

Spangle - sounds like one of those hectic days that panned out ok

Momino - hope the plumber turned up

Llare - good going with the potty training!

BrownieBells - welcome back and congrats, DVT sounds a bit scary though.

Our niece has now left. It worked out really well though so hope she'll come over and stay another time.

DH is away with work tonight. My mum's popping over to keep me company between about 7.30 and 10.

Tomorrow I'm going to meet up with a friend from work for lunch. Will be the first time I've had any real contact with work. I'm hoping it won't make me dread going back even more...

Welcome back browniebells & belated congrats on your big little boy (if that makes sense).

Dandy your muffin story made me laugh, particularly as one of the two mums I had over this morning asked for one to take back for her DH too. To be fair, she can't eat anything with eggs in, so it was 'her' muffin anyway. I now have three left, currently staring at me... the problem is, I know exactly how much fat is in them <tries to distract herself>

H has done very well today considering it's been pretty much a constant cacophony since 10am. Not long after the NCT girls & babies left my Dad, step mum and her 95yr-old father turned up. Dad & step-mum dote on H and haven't seen him for 7 weeks as they've been away so they were completely overexcited and cooing in his face, which in turn made him overtired. He was back on good form after a nap (although it took me half an hour to get him to stop crying and go to sleep) and had a lovely afternoon smiling, giggling and chatting with them

Hi browniebells, welcome back. Your ds's length and weight are virtually the same as my ds1. He weighed 10lb at birth. We managed till about 18 weeks before weaning and his car seat lasted till he was 8/9 months. He's now 2.5 and has just about outgrown the stage 2 car seat, which is supposed to last till he's 4!!!

Poor ds2 is struggling to sleep today, everytime he goes to sleep dear, dear ds1 wakes him up by screaming or making a loud noise

momino & llare hope your plumber and delivery arrive!

Tummum hope you feel better soon. DH kindly told me last night that when the swine flu vaccine comes out he and the dc will be eligible for it, but I won't , hope he'll take time off work if I get it!!

thank you ladies -

Momino - DS2 is called Matthew (DS1 is Thomas, and he is 3½ - born November 2005). He was a big boy when born too weighing in at 10lb 8.5oz! His weight gain has been steady - on 99th percentile - but his lenght looks as though it is off the scale!
Unfortunately think his size (and the fact he was 2 weeks overdue) contributed to the fact I ended up with extensive DVT down the length of my left leg! On warfarin for 6 months now - bummer!

He isn't quit in a proper routine yet - takes about 5 feeds a day - 9oz of hungry baby milk! Not sure how much longer I can keep from giving him th tiniest bit of baby rice! Anyone else have a big and hungry baby?

The other problem I am facing is the fact he won't fit in his infant carrier for much longer! So am trying to research a reasonably cheap yet safe combination car seat - any suggestions?

llaregrub - hopefully I might be able to keep up - I'll give it a go - but don't shoot me if I get lost!

hi llare, have been stuck inside today. luckily, I only have Harper as other DDs are at nursery. thank goodness for nursery!

sounds like potty training going fine, well done to ds1 (and to you)!

Momimo so we are having similar days?

May go for a swim later if I can find my kit. The pool has fitness swimming at 9pm which may be too late for me!

Tummum I hope you feel better soon. I was just about to post a response to your status on fb asking if the fuzzy head was due to one too many cocktails last night and then I remembered. Poor you.

browniebells welcome back. This thread moves a lot slower than the antenatal one so you should be fine.

dandy lol at the muffin story. You will let us know when that book is published, won't you?

Borrrrrring day today. Still potty-training DS1 and no accidents today, hurrah! But we are getting cabin fever. We can't go out because we are still waiting for DH's new blackberry to be delivered. Vodafone are being useless and keep promising to deliver, then never do. Desperately need it before we head for south Wales next week.

Hi BrownieBells, welcome! what a big boy you have . What did you name him? my dd3 Harper Grace was born 2 may and is a slight but long baby 10lb 12oz at 10 wks, 59cm at 7wks. don't worry about keepin up, everyone is so busy we just jump in whenever we can.

reggiee, at our hv clinic, they only measure baby's length twice in the 1st year.

grumpy, i wish i could understand cricket. i'd blame it on being american but know many brits who don't understand it either . am also very about yours and others going on road trips. we're going to be paying for this yet-to-be-finished kitchen for another year and then, of course, any of our holiday money goes to paying for trips to exciting Ohio to see my family. well, at least it's nice to see my family anyway but can't say the food there rivals french cuisine.

running, so glad you had a good night and everyone got some sleep. hope tonight goes well.

looby, did she puke? Or was the dress saved?

Jennster, happy bday to your DS. hope you're all having a good day and eating lots of cake .

flippin, the peach made your breakfast healthy, so I wouldn't worry.

everyone else, hope you're all ok .

we've been out today after waiting all morning for the plumber who never came. i finally called him as I needed to get out to run errands. don't know why he didn't show but apologised and is now coming at 4 (or will he ?). meanwhile, think i'll make some banana cake - inspired by dandy.

Afternoon ladies. Well, I'm officially fed up at feeling under the weather. I have been really knackered over the last couple of days, and just took a quick nap and now am really regretting it because my brain feels like cotton wool. Harri has completely bounced back and G has been a bit grizzly, so I'm hoping he has had a really really mild case and the antibodies in my milk are helping him out.

Running - so glad you got some sleep. Makes such a difference ! Oh and at camper van. We had one but had to give it up when DD2 got too big

Brownie - welcome

Dandy - lol at brownies.

dur not reading properly ds2 so of course you have more than one. Sorry!

running Wow. It makes all the difference doesn't it.

brownie Hello and welcome. Do you have any other children?

Hello - tenatative post here.....Think I may have posted on the antenatal thread originally - but couldn't keep up with everything....had a lot going on with pg and also with home stuff too - so didn't keep up the posting..

Anyway, I had ds2 on 16th May - so could I join you ladies please?

He is now 9 and a bit weeks - and is a very hungry baby...at last weigh in (about 2½ weeks ago) he was 15lb 10oz, and at his 8 week check, the Doc did a very rough measurement of length - which was about 66cm .

If you let me join - I am not sure I will manage to keep up with all the chatter! But am willing to answer any and all questions you may have

B

Hi All,

Thank you all so much for your support yesterday. I felt v rough but I'm going to join in the emoticon frenzy because...

BEST NIGHT EVER LAST NIGHT

Got A ready for bed about 7pm, she then had a big feed and dropped off to sleep about 8ish. Handed her over to DH and she slept in his arms until midnight meaning 4 hours solid sleep for me too. She fed again about 12.30 dropped off (and I did too) until 2.45, fed again then slept until 5am ish. Then fed and dozed until 7.45am. DH slept from 12.30 until 7 and said he feels like a new man

Obviously its not ideal having to hold her all evening but at least we all got a decent amount of sleep. A has been an angel so far today even managed to get out to mum n baby group where she smiled at everyone Still not managing to sleep on her own - has to be cuddled or moving (am currently wearing her in bjorn and swaying from side to side as I type!)

Fingers crossed for tonight eh!

grumps have a great holiday. am of your 4 weeks. We did a three week road trip through france, Switzerland, Italy and then back to france last summer for our honeymoon, was so much nicer than the normal 2 week jaunts. We're off for our week in norfolk in a couple of weeks if the camper van passes its MOT

Dandy lol at your muffin story, am impressed by everyone's baking skills, where do you all find the time?

Momi Glad H's hips ok. A has been referred for a scan too as we've heard quite a few clicks. The nurse didn't seem too concerned tho at her 6 week check.

Right A is asleep, better go do something useful while I can - got to pack as we're off to Wales to see my Mum and assorted rellies this weekend. The 3 hour car journey is going to be interesting

Hmm I also seem to have an emoticon frenzy today

Thanks all for your messages. Yesterday truly was $hite but I guess in the grand scheme of things, there haven't been many days like it compared to what some of you have had to cope with.
All seems fine today and normal service has resumed. Babies - who'd have 'em .

Meant to say that the doc doesn't think he has any milk intolerance, but is just very colicky. Have to say I am inclined to agree with him. And this morning (at 3 months exactly) we had a yellow tinge to his green poo . God I am fascinating to talk to .

Dandy am amd at your muffin story. They must be very nice muffins if there are people fighting over them, so I think your dd should be v proud of her baking skills .

Grumpy do you like cricket then? Am v v of dh who is going to the Headingly test whilst I look after the kids. Sigh. I was there on the day we won the Ashes last time. Pre kids,drunk, 'n' all that. Wouldn't chance it for the world . We are talking about going to Oz to watch it there once the kids have left home. Nothing like planning the future!

All you who know your dc's length, do they measure it at your clinic? They don't do it here, so was trying a diy measurement with mil holding the tape and me pushing down his knees and straightening his feet . THink he was 62 cm at 12 weeks.

Right must go. Have a rhubarb and apple crumble to make, and my dmum is coming down from Scotland to visit in a couple of hours.

morning all..

think M is feeling much better now, she had a good sleep 10pm till 6am

last mum & baby group till term starts today. Party day don't know if we're supposed to take food/cake? so am going to try and find a phone no to find out

have dressed M in a v.pretty party dress so she's bound to puke down it

dandy lol at the muffin story - I have a "friend" like that

Grumpy - your breakfast sounds more nutritious than mine, a cup of tea and 5 custard creams. Oh, and I had a peach too!

A is still asleep after the monster 5:30 feed, but DD1 is wide awake and drawing birthday pictures for my Dad. Nothing planned for this morning but going to a friend's for coffee this afternoon.

I know nothing about big cars - but went out yesterday with a friend who's got a Galaxy, we got 3 stage 2 seats (DD1 and her two toddlers) and A's baby seat in it. DD1 was sat on the very back row, and then her boys and A were in their seats on the back seat. I was quite impressed with the amount of space for seating, but slightly less impressed with the boot size when the rear seats are in.

Grumpy I'm jealous, but awaiting dd2's passport. I don't think we'll get it in time to get away before her Christening and then 2 weeks after that we're going to Devon for a week anyway. I just fancy an overnight ferry to St Malo and see my French exchange partner from school. She has a little boy and has only met dd1.

Morning!

dandy - lol and a bit at your muffin story!

Well, what a night! A slept from 9:30 until 5:30. Sounds great, I know but actually it was one of the worst nights I've had since A was born. She's worked out how to settle herself at night by sucking her hand - usually it's her thumb and finger, but sometimes her whole hand goes in. Well, last night she seemed to have been sucking/chewing/slurping all night really really loudly and kept waking DH and I up. The noise was terrible! And then when she woke at 5:30 she cried and woke DD1 up who then wouldn't got back to sleep.

Ladies with big boobs - Blooming Marvellous have got a sale on at the moment, they got a Royce feeding bra in big sizes reduced from £23.99 to £9.50. I've ordered one to see what it's like. There didn't seem to be many other feeding bras, but they've also got a few BF tops in the sale.

Dandy Well I'm shocked! Quite frankly if you don't make enough muffins then what can you expect? They were obviously delicious.

Ds is 2 today so am about to make some cakes. A white chocolate cake with white chocolate butter icing and sprinkles. Yummy. I'm afraid he went to nursery with a Marks and Spencer bought hedgehog cake as we were really busy yesterday at a fairy exhibition at the museum.

Sophietom and I went for a walk on Tuesday and my goodness can I tell today. I was also pushing the toddlers in the P&T yesterday so am aching all over.

Woke up like Jordan again this morning, as DD2 slept from 7.30 until I woke her at 7 this morning. I can't beleive it. I have a sleeper at last. 3rd time lucky hey.

big cars Thanks for all the feedback. I'll let you know what we've decided on when we've test driven a few.

Lilypadz I had to laugh at the indiscreet feeding comment. The other day I was using them and out with the dc at a coffee shop. I had a 3 random strangers searching under chairs for a missing lilypad, as ds had knocked it off the table.

Euromum

Dandy I laughed so much at the muffin story, I know someone just like that, I think it's just general social ineptitude rather than plain rudeness where the woman I know is concerned. I love the leaving out of the books, that's a great idea <gazes at overflowing bookshelves, thinks "aha!", remembers has just bought 10 books for going on holiday, wonders if a person can be killed by too many books?>

Well, we're away to France tomorrow, possibly for 4 weeks . Now then, AIBU to be slightly miffed at missing the rest of the Ashes <sad cow emoticon>?

And AIBU to blithely go away when S hasn't had her jabs? Is France a hotbed for Diptheria, Polio and whatever else she should be jabbed against?

And (she says, feeling very guilty), AIBU to post about this when not everyone can go away , sorry for those who can't. This is the only chance we'll get though.

All this talk of muffins is making me hungry. I do have chocolate banana bread with chocolate icing though, which sound like a nutritious breakfast to me......

dandy I guess that's an actual bun fight then! Trying not to [snigger] at all the mums squabbling over the last one, your story does conjure up pictures of a sort of Stepford Wives gone wrong ! Sounds like you handle this person very tactfully I must say.

Well after a week of decent sleeps - 11pm till about 5am - ds has started waking twice for feeds in the night/early morning . But he is beautifully bouncing in his chair giving me lots of grins and happy noises, so I've forgiven him . We are off sales shopping this morning for clothes that fit me - I have decided to accept that I will not be losing weight at high speed, and will be dressing nicely in the meantime rather than hanging around in badly fitting old stuff.

Also going to try and find a pressie for my brother's baby as I won't have time later/next week - it was due yesterday but hasn't arrived yet. I wonder if his wife is on a prenatal board here complaining about it . Thinking I might get them a newborn sleeping bag - one of those things you don't know about in advance, that tends to make such a difference when you discover it. There's a couple of shops here with decent own-brand ones so I might do that - they're decently priced too so it'll leave some spare for a rattle or something and I won't be too upset if they never use it .

Ses very well done on the weight and glad the hospital went well.

Reggiee how are things today? I found dd was a bit unsettled after her jabs and then back to normal after a day or so. I hope that's the case for you too. Ds has his first jabs next week [not-looking-forward-to-that emoticon].

[Apparently-quite-into-emoticons-this-morning emoticon] .

dandy glad to hear the 2nd hand school appealing guff was all twaddle and about your muffins. some people out there are just on a totally different wave length aren't they?! i too wouldn't just grab and go but if there were loads spare and they were really scrummy i'd be asking for a doggy bag for me.. dh would have to fight me for them the whole thing does make me lol can't help it.. sorry :-)

dandy, what an amusing story about your 'friend'. i truly can't believe the tactlessness of some people. you sound very diplomatic towards her though and very nice to invite her. (the banana muffins must have been so scrummy to fight over the last one .

Oh yes - Ses So glad all was well at the hospital.

Gosh, it's muffins-a-go-go here: I made muffins this morning too.

Was having mothers from DD's school round after school drop-off for coffee (it was last day of term today), and thought I'd back some banana muffins. I also went to a nice cake shop and bought some macaroons in different colours. And I put all the novels I don't want to keep on a table for people to help themsevels too. It was fun. But I have a muffin manners story for you all

I am pretty good friends with many mothers from DD's school and there is a big, loose group of us. As often happens in groups, there is one person who is rather socially awkward and is invited to things because people feel sorry for her - she had a breakdown a few years ago and has a much (i.e. 20 years or so) older husband. She also gets invited along because, well, she's just there. But she's not easy company. Tends to just appear by your side the second you're having a private conversation. Tells people that their flat is too small, their older sister looks much younger than they do - that sort of thing. When I asked her if she fancied a cuddle with DS the other day in a cafe, as she had finished her drink and I hadn't and had aching arms from holidng him, she replied with "not particularly. Maybe another day."

Anyway - so I bake 12 muffins today, because my muffin tin only bakes twelve and I didn't have enough ingredients for more anyway. DD helped me make them this morning before school Two of them DD gave to her two Teaching Assistants as a thank you present. The rest I put out for my friends. Was expecting around 9 (plus me) with a couple of people turning up later.

The muffins go down well. When Emma is leaving, there are two left. One of the other women - T- has just arrived and hasn't had a muffin yet. Another - X- still hasn't turned up. Emma thanks me for having her, picks up a muffin and puts in her bag, and says she's taking it for her husband because he's greedy and will ask where his is I asked her if she wouldn't mind leaving it, because if there is any muffins spare, I'd like DD to have it as she helped make them and hasn't had one, and anyway X friend may still turn up. Emma points out that there is still one muffin left, and I say that T hasn't had one yet. Emma puts the muffin back, and says "well in that case, I'll take him a macaroon", and puts a macaroon in her bag. I am speechless.

In the park later, she is funny with me and I suspect she is either embarrassed or mad with me. But I feel quite annoyed (and rather amused). DH didn't get a muffin. And I wouldn't dream of nabbing him some food to take home to him from someone else's house unless specifically invited to do so. But it made me feel bad, because I wanted to be hospitable. Still ... she's a one.

On a different note, the school appeal info I got second hand about the school appealing the decision is complete crap. They cannot appeal. So DD is in

Running Honestly, I was just joshing about the bugaboo. It IS a status symbol in many parts. WHen we bought ours, it was brand new and the pram market was pretty small. There's been a massive increase in models and brands in the past 4.5 years.

Apologies, I keep thinking of things to respond to people with as I read through, then I forget our the thread moves on.

Grumpy they make some silly noises, don't they? Our nickname for H is 'The Beast' because of all the groaning and straining noises that used to emanate from bis basket. He doesn't make them much any more but the name has stuck

Hmm, I think H must be a short arse. I tried to measure him the other day and got 58cm at 11.5 wks (corrected).

Well I can categorically state H is not ready for weaning (not that I thought he was, but a friend's ds of the same age had some rusk the other day). I sat him in his bumbo and tried to give him some calpol on a spoon but he was NOT having it and whacked the spoon away. Had to recline him and squirt it in with a syringe, but it seems to have done the job as he's only been a little bit unsettled this evening.

Feeling virtuous as I've cleaned/tidied and made carrot cake muffins for visitors tomorrow. Not as impressive as llare's efforts but pretty good for me!

Momi I don't know what's worse - toddlers or moody pre-teens.

I had a big argument with Ms Stroppy aka DD1 earlier. She makes me so gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh sometimes.

However, we are friends again and had a lovely afternoon

S screamed from 6.30 this evening. She has stopped now and is laid on DH, sighing, sobbing, grunting, wheezing and giggling in her sleep. She's done some evil trumps today though so suspect her stomach is a bit off.

<yawn> oh must go to bed.....

Evening all, it's very quiet on here.

Well i got my lilypadz today, but am not finding them as wonderful as i hoped. I am still pooling some milk behind them. I will test them out overnight with some disposable pads for backup

Hi! Just checking in before heading off to the pub! Taking niece for a meal there (well that's out excuse anyway!)

Momino - great news about H's hips.

Reebee - sounds like F is doing well. O is 59cm at 10 weeks and I thought that was fairly long!

Looby - glad saline nasal drops are helping. Hope M's back on form soon.

Good to hear positive reports about Grobags. I keep meaning to get O one.

Sorry to run but someone's demanding a feed...!

pressed post not preview, oops

momino, good news on H's hips - you were right not to be worried!

right, must make dinner and feed baby.

fi, I did wonder about your message but put it down to too much virtual wine!!

I'm really pleased about his weight too. Momino, I'm 5' 10" and all my family are tall but DH is only my height, so F's length is a bit of a surprise. (It's all anyone ever says to us 'oh, isn't he long? ...)

reebee, well done on the weight, and the height - are you/dh tall? 60cm sounds long for 6wks.

Harper yelled the hospital down but i think the sonographer said hips are fine (couldn't hear him throuh her cries). thank goodness.

reggiee, things better? I don't know about abs/jabs but H didn't feed very well for a day a few days ago, didn't come down with anything, just fussed instead of fed . sorry can't be more helpful.

spangle, hope H's jabs went ok and the Calpol was at the ready!
grumpy, i worry about when mine are pre-teens, sounds fun .

just realised i got my reebee's and reggie's muddled.. it was reggie's little one not wanting to feed after the jabs.. oops hope both lo's are doing better now. great weight reebee you must be chuffed

hurrah, F now 12lbs 4oz at 7 weeks (and 60cm long). He's a piggy!

thanks Fi - it's ab's not jabs (he's not had any of those yet, the pleasure is still all to come!) and he is struggling to keep latched on but not sure whether ab's or cold and blocked nose to blame!

have also had a chat with the health visitor about fontanelles and head circumference and she has completely allayed my fears, hurrah!

...although she did say he has dry skin and looks like a reaction to anything we're putting in his bath so back to plain water and cotton wool for everything for us.

God, everything was fine until the 6 week check and now the baby is disintegrating!!

M was sleeping 10pm to 5/6am but the last 2 nights has reverted back to a 3.30am feed, hopefully its just cos she's feeling under the weather and she'll sleep longer again when not snotty
just when I'd got used to the extra sleep...

grobags are fab. M started sleeping thro almost as soon as we started using them. I put her in in when she starts her mammoth cluster feed at around 8pm and when she's had enough she just nods off all content - if we're lucky

those *saline nasal drops* have really helped with M's breathing - even tho she fights me when I try to put them in

went to BF group this morning then took M to have her 2nd lot of jabs - poor thing screamed her head off but calmed down after a quick BF in the waiting room, she slept all the way home in her car seat and is still asleep now an hour later
she hardly ever sleeps during the day

and phone NHS direct if you're concerned about anything like dehydration etc

reebee just read your thread post.. not sure if it's jabs or ab's. the ab's made g very windy.. colicky windy iyswim drawing up her legs in pain and crying. it put her off feeding until she got rid of most of it. she went back to normal happy feeding when we stopped ab's. weirdly she was fine with the 1st and 2nd doses it was after the 3rd that she really had probs..

running, hope you're able to get rest today. sounds like a tough time. i also support using a grobag as well as posting on the sleep forum. how often is she awake in the day?

also, do take the stories about sleeping babies with a grain of salt. you can be sure if there isn't a prob with sleeping there are other difficulties. though my girls seem to be good sleepers (not all the time, mind you and dd1 is now a sleepwalker and gets up most nights at least once), their favoured form of communication is crying which i find diff to handle when all 3 are at it let alone a new(ish) born cry.

yesterday H slept a lot of the day so sure enough (euro pls note!) it took her ages to settle and she ended up crying/screaming for quite awhile. i had to put her down and shut the door because even cuddles weren't working and I was ready to explode with frustration. would love a dummy to work but she just spits it out no matter how often i replace it. also, after my post yesterday about her sleeping she woke up a couple of times. serves me right .

anyway, can't name check anyone else right now since i'm out the door for Harper's hip ultrasound. should be a blast.

Hope you're all well today and do try to rest when you're able.

running- sorry things are so hard for you. Not got any useful suggestions as looks like you've tried all the usual stuff.

Saw my GP today- she was glad i was starting to feel some improvement from the ADs and i will see her again in 2 weeks to see whether i need to increase the dosage.

Momino- you were asking how long everyone's LOs are awake at a time in the day. With S at home, generally he's ready for a nap after 1.5 hours awake (and sometimes just over an hour), although he will usually stay awake 3 hours in the late afternoon (e.g. 3.30/4pm until bedtime). However, this morning he had a 15 min nap at 9.20 before i saw the GP and then didn't go down til 12.30 for his next nap.

Hi all

Not had chance to read...having a bad day here..

Can anyone help with this ?

Hello,

Well my miracle sleeper was awake 4 times last night, serves me right for boasting! momino he hardly ever manages 2 hours awake during the day, even when he sleeps better at night, it's usually more like 1.5hrs and even that's unusual. I suppose we tend to be out a lot with dd and various things which doesn't help. He's also a bit poorly at the minute (snuffly nose and mildly upset tummy) so I think that's what's doing it for now.

grobags are great - dd was rubbish at settling to sleep until we got one when she was about 5 months, and she immediately 'got it'. No trouble since then.

Well sorry to post-and-go - loads to fit in today as dh has just invited friends over for dinner tomorrow night and I am not at all prepared. Don't think he realises how much of a pita it is to plan, shop, cook etc with a little baby! We hardly manage to do anything at all most days!

Belgian have a fab holiday!

And llare re nork-flashing - I do that too but our living area is slightly above street level so I don't think anyone sees (unless the neighbour across the street are spying from behind their curtains ).

thanks llare and Fi, have put books under front of moses basket and will try the steam thing too.

Fi, he has been fretting a bit but I put that down to his cold, poor little man!

Grumpy, at the microphone.

running Do try the Grobag. DD2 was a mare of a baby and didn't sleep, was a fretty feeder, etc. However, she slept better when we zipped her into her 'bag'!! I think they're genius.

I 2nd the floppy nork thing, as I feed lying down <lazy mare> and worry about the same thing.

DD2 is at Granny's and she's been bought a Hannah Montana Microphone. That'll be staying at Granny's/broken/lost rather than coming home

DD1 has disappeared off with her friend. All I got was "Off out with X, laters". Bloody pre-teens.

Sorry gals. Friend popped over for a cuppa and chat.

Thanks for the sympathy and suggestions, yes I do feed lying down at night but find it hard to sleep as I worry about my floppy norks suffocating A. I do wonder if weight has anything to do with it as A took a long time to regain birthweight. I also think it's a bit of both sleep and feeding as she regularly falls asleep feeding so I don't think she gets enough milk so wakes up but then when she has had a massive feed and is ina really deep sleep she will only stay asleep in one of our arms - you can pass her between people without her waking but as soon as she is put down she is wide awake!

Llare - do you have Ds2 in a grobag in your bed? I worry about her being too hot if I do that but I do have an 0.5 tog so could try it.

reebee we found the ab's gave g a very windy uncomfortable tummy.. hope it doesn't do the same for you. the snot sucker, steamy bathroom and more upright sleeping pos worked for us too..

at 6.5wks she was 12lb 7 and at 8.5wks yesterday she was 13lbs 10.5oz.

runningm i think our g's sleeping through is partly due to weight.. as she was bigger than ds at birth (9lb 7 as opposed to 7lbs) by the time she got to 6wks (when she started doing a 6/7hr stretch) she was the size ds was at about 2~3m. at 6wks she also started feeding every 2~3hrs in the day (5am till 5pm) then from 5pm till 10pm ish she fed hourly staying awake for most of that time.. also pooing and weeing for the olympics. when she eventually conked out after 10pm it was for about 6hrs at first. she's doing almost the same pattern atm.. only difference is she's sleeping longer 10pm ish till 6am ish, feeds and sleeps every 3hrs in day, then has a nap between cluster feeds sessions in the evening.

running I don't really have any useful advice, I'm afraid, but I agree with llare. Is the problem related more to feeding or sleeping? You could try posting in the sleep or breast/bottle feeding sections. There seem to be some knowedgeable people around (from having lurked when H was being difficult).

I've just remembered it's H's third set of jabs this afternoon - 3 needles this time I'm going to get in early with the calpol this time. I was too late last time and had to squirt it into his wide open, wailing mouth, poor thing.

ReeBEe WRT to snot, what we found helped with both boys is to raise the cot or moses basket at one end to help breathing, and have a bowl of water in the room. When he was really blocked up I put him in the bathroom and run a really hot bath, the steam is a great decongestant!

running DS2 sleeps with us although last night he was in the crib. He has been sleeping consistently since we put him in the growbag. If he wakes up at midnight he sleeps in the bed with me and he suckles away and we both fall asleep eventually. Have you tried sleeping while he feeds? Do you feed lying down? At least that way you get some rest.

sorry, crossed posts - oh, running, you poor thing, you sound exhausted and really fed up. Like grumpy I have no advice really because it sounds like you've tried everything I could think of.

Morning everyone,

I haven't been on for ages (really busy in actual RL, can you believe?!) so have skimmed to catch up.

Daizy, belated happy birthday, sounds like you had a great day.

Dandy, good news about the appeal and I agree with the comments made about the school not being able to renege on the decision.

Hope you have a lovely holiday, Belgian, am not at all of either you or Grumpy, honest! We have booked a week's hol camping in the Yorkshire Dales with our best friends and their 9 month old plus dogs at the end of August... nice and close so if it goes wrong we can come home! Love camping, DH and I did a road trip last summer through Belgium, Germany, Italy and France (to a friend's wedding in Lake Garda and back) and we had the most amazing. It was a year ago today we set off; DH and I were reminiscing last night [fond nostalgic sigh].

Re lilypadz - I have some and I love them. I do struggle though with discreet BFing with them when out and about, having to peel one off and then leave it on a table or similar - anyone else find the same? I tend to swap between them and 'normal' pads as I do think my boobs need time to breathe (!) and not sure that lilypadz are the best for that.

oh, and llare at accidental nork flashing.

tummum, sorry to hear your SF news but as you say at least it's over and done with.

It's been an eventful week in the Bee household. Highlights include: out with NCT girls for lunch in York last Weds, drove to Manchester last Thurs to show F to my teams at work <shudders at memory of 2 hour drive each way>, out shopping all day with best friend and her 9 month old in the White Rose centre in Leeds on Friday, DH and friend's joint birthday do on Saturday (F's first try of a bottle of EBM so I could do some drinking - very satisfactory all round!).

F has also have his 6 week check and his sticky eye was swabbed and came back infected so we are having to give him antibiotics - preferably on an empty stomach and at least half an hour before a feed. We started last night and it is putting years on me already!

He is also full of cold (at least I assume it's cold and not SF) so very sorry for himself. We had a rubbish night as he was struggling with his breathing. I think I need to go and buy a snot extractor and some calpol today.

Fontanelles - F has a very small anterior fontanelle - noticed by friends over the weekend and not mentioned by doctor at 6 week check. I googled it and terrified myself so took him back to same doctor yesterday (forgetting red book, oops); she said it was smaller than usual but was still there and to keep an eye on it but not worry as long as head growth and his development normal, not crossing any centiles. She measured his head and when I got home I checked the red book and his birth and 4 week measurements had been following the 25th centile but the doctor's one from yesterday puts him on the 75th.... Am worried again now, might go to HV clinic this afternoon but don't want to pass his cold to others.

sorry not to name check all, have good days...

Aw running I don't have any advice, just shedloads of sympathy. I hope someone comes on here with some useful advice shortly!!

Have a great hol Belgian

Happy birthday for yesterday daizy

lol at ds Fi*

*ses great news about weight

llare hope you have a nice lunch today

at the incredible sleeping babies, so pleased for you all.

No sleep for me again last night. I think me and DH are at breaking point we have no idea what to try, she hates swaddling but wriggles constantly, in bed with us she just sucks my boobs continously but spits a dummy out! HV had no sensible suggestions apart from letting her cry it out which I think is a bit extreme for a 6 week old. Any suggestions welcome.

Belgian have a great holiday

Tummum sorry about the SF - get well soon.

Am very of all your super sleeping babies. The best we have had out of H was a brief phase of going to sleep at 9.30pm and going through until 3 or 4, but then he would wake hourly. Now we are putting him to bed earlier (about 8ish, because he was getting over-tired) he wakes at eg 12.30am, 3.30am and 6am, then up for the day at 7ish. He did a bit better last night - 1, 4 and 7.45 However, I usually manage to feed him before he's properly awake, he feeds well and quickly and is straight back to sleep afterwards so I'm not generally awake for long. Thought about trying a dream feed again but in the past it's not really had any positive effect, and I started to worry about getting him in the 'habit' of waking frequently so I'm just going to go with the flow. I'm sure he'll sleep through when he's ready

Busy day for me - last minute decision to have NCT girls over tomorrow morning and the house is a tip!

Hi all

Namecheck amnesty from me........

Quick, quick, anyone have a Figleaves Discount code before I order my bras?????????

Jennster Re cars, I currently have a Renault Espace, having lost my beloved Fiat Multipla to Cambelt failure (DH could fix it, but he always wanted the Espace ). It is brilliant, you can fit lots of kids 'n' car seats 'n' accumulated crap in. We're off on a possible 4-week holiday to La Belle France in it and we can fit 4 weeks' worth of stuff in easily.

Pushchairs, DH being a bit of a tightwad sometimes, bought me a 2nd hand one off Ebay, I think it's a crappy Graco one. I would love a posh-push but can't really justify it, as I don't use the pushchair that often, I carry S about in the sling or baby-carrier.

Had my first night out last night, left 2 bottles of EBM for S. My night out was................taking DD1 and her boyfriend to see Transformers 2 . I sat on my own at the front of the cinema and they sat at the back.

Right, off to drag DD1 out of bed so we can go shopping later, I will be on later to catch up good 'n' proper.

fi Lol @ your ds. My dh would be horrified at his son playing with make up, but I wouldn't mind. Well, I would because of the cost, but you know what I mean. I once had my make up bag stolen by someone thinking it was my wallet. It cost a fortune to replace it all in 1 go.

Great news that so many of us had a lovely sleep last night.

llare good luck with the potty training. A shame the weather isn't any better or you could have let him run around half naked in the garden where accidents dont matter.

C had a better sleep too. I think I've worked out how to get her to sleep until 5.30. She need to have 2 hourly feeds just before bedtime and then she's fine. I'll keep doing that from now on.

Right off now to the post office to send out some eBay stuff before we leave. Then it's time to have a good tidy of the house and we'll be off at 3! Exciting

oh dear.. since the discovery of my juicy lip gloss yesterday ds has now developed a fascination for all of my make up.. he wants to know what it all is and put it on... eye liner, blusher, mascara, cover stick, liquid eye shadow and everything else in the drawer. now i've got to find a high place to move it all to away from his investigating..

Morning!

Another incredible sleeping baby here! DS slept from around 9.30pm until 7am, although sadly I couldn't sleep at all. I've got 4 mothers, 4 toddlers and 2 babies for lunch today so I've got bread in the breadmaker and am about to make some muffins.

DS has decided to potty-train but it is not going well. Grrr.

Whooooo hooooo DS Slept from 8pm till 4am, feed for 10mins and then woke again at 7. Best nights sleep in 9 weeks!!!!

Hi there,

Had a good day yesterday, thanks for all the wishes. It was nice to leave the dc with my parents for a few hours. Sorry you didn't get to go out euromum

*belgian you should be able to get your money back if you paid with paypal, not sure how you go about it though. Have a great holiday

Ds2 slept from 9pm, woke at 3.30 for a feed and is still asleep now . runningmonkey your lo sounds ds1 - we still have to get him to sleep now aged 2

wrote a post and then hit refresh rather than post so it's gone now.

Anyway.

tummum get well soon. Hope you don't feel too unwell.

Thanks for all the good holiday wishes. It looks like warm but rainy down there for the next 2 days .

Time for bed now. Will log on tomorrow to wave goodbye

have a fabby holiday belgian hope the weather isn't too bad for the journey.

tummum just seen your fb post sorry you got sf :-( hope you feel better soon

Belgian, have fun on holiday, lucky you.

Ses, great news about the weight gain, hurrah!

going to bed soon. got to do the nursery run tomorrow and get H to hospital for her hip scan (expecting it to be fine).

need to check out Next sale as well.

Oh Gosh, all these x-posts with my last post. Sorry about that. I had to post and run as ds got himself into a tantrum about some colouring in that didn't quite go like he wanted or something . He just got into a tantrum all by himself while colouring all by himself. Really odd to see him just go off like that. 2nd time in 2 days as well. See, even 7yo can have tantrums!

llare That reminds me of the decorator incident when I was pregnant, lol.

Ses great news about the weight gain.

Next Sale I went today too and came home with a winter coat for myself and some cute gloves and a hat for C, but there was nothing nice for DS or dd1. I always get annoyed with the Next sale, because they hardly have any boys' clothes and lots of girly stuff. None of the girly stuff was stuff dd1 would like though: it was all too pink. Yes, her pink phase is over. She's recently announced that she likes yellow and purple and hates princesses. Yay!!

I'm a bit worried about this Mei Tai I ordered 2 weeks ago. It was from someone recommended on either MN somewhere or the Slingmeet forum (can't remember). Anyway. I've noticed I can't get onto her website anymore. I've e-mailed her and no answer. I hope I haven't lost my money. Does anyone know if you can claim money back if you've paid by paypal?

I've packed today for our holiday tomorrow. We'll be leaving as soon as the dcs have finished school and will be driving overnight. I'm not looking forward to the long drive as I can't sleep in a car. Once we're there we're first stopping at an ex-au pair's home. It'll be nice to see her again.

oh I know jennster, sorry to make you blush. I was only joking! I agree with you to be honest!

llaregrub oh my! I really didn't mean to imply you're twunts. How embarrasing. So sorry.

ses yay on the weight gain, positive hospital app and being discharged great to get that out of the way

Went to appointment. They weighed him and he's now 10lb 4oz so has put on 5oz since Thurs Saw Dr who couldn't work out why we'd been referred. She said he was gaining nicely and she'd be more worried if he suddenly put on loads of weight. She signed us off and discharged us

Then went to next sale and I got DS 3 t-shirts, 2 prs trousers, tshirt and trouser outfit all for £20.50

Then managed to take him round shopping centre in Crawley and have lunch, then did Tesco and just got home!! Phew!!
It's great to have my niece for help and company!

Daizy - Happy Birthday!!

Llare - at flashing norks as I'm sure I've got far too relaxed about nork flashing

Tummum - hope the swine flu passes quickly

Dandy - hope that wasn't your case they were talking about and you can relax soon.

flippineck you can have them. If you send me your address via fb I'll post them to you. I won't be at the Post Office until Friday though when my ebay items end. I'll be glad to send them to a good home!

flipping i can't remember if it's strawberry or raspberry but it's a red one. I couldn't resist taking photos of ds before i tidied him up. caught him before he emptied the whole tube

sleepy baby grace sleeps loads.. the only time she's awake is during each feed and for a while after sometimes and before sometimes. she's esp smiley when wanting food.. when boob doesn't happen as i'm chatting to her smiles she then lets rip after a bit for boobs now!

Momino It could be your letdown being a bit strong. How about taking her off and waiting until it's over and then letting her carry on, she might find it a bit easier. C used to have trouble with mine and still struggles to swallow fast enough, resulting in her choking on the milk at least once every feed, but she's learning to deal with it.

daizy Happy Birthday!

Euromum we had a normal buggyboard when ds was 2.5 and he loved it. He was a bit lazy really and so not having to walk was just what he wanted. Occasionally if he became too tired he wouldn't want to stand on it or walk, which made life difficult, but 99% of the times it was great.

fi - . BTW, what colour juicy tube? I love 'em, my favourite lip gloss!

llaregub - indeed! I'd be interested in your lilypadz if no-one else wants them, will contact you on FB. How much would you like for them?

tummum - hope the swine flu passes you all quickly and peacefully. As you said, good to get it out of the way now.

daizy - Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good evening out.

sleepy baby - goodness, she lasted all of about 80 min awake time, some of it feeding, some kicking. i'm sure we're in for a broken night .

how long do your LO's usually stay awake in their daytime 'awake' times? Harper is usually two hours at a time or less if we're out and about.

momino i did ask for aveeno but doc wanted to do oilatum so that's what we got.. the cream and bath milk. will give it a go and if no good will push for aveeno next time.

dh and i made the mistake decision of putting the thornberry's go wild DVD on over the weekend when the weather was so bad. ds absolutely loved it. but now he wants it on all the time and i do mean ALL the time.. it's starting to drive me slightly round the bend!

uhoh feeding g and typing one handed and ds has got my lancome juicy lip gloss and mirror out of my bag.. taken lid off tube, squeezed it out, applied all over his lips and face, gotta go!

Fi, what did they give you for eczema? I've got an appt fri for dd1 to renew her prescription. eczema pretty bad on arms and back of the legs.

llare,

febes, good idea about offering milk before waiting for H to demand it. I'll see if it makes a difference.

Meanwhile, she's just had a feed and it went very smoothly as I'd expect a feed to go. so there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to her getting upset at the boob. i think sometimes the letdown is too fast. or I 'force' it on her when she's tired. ah, it's a guessing game isn't it? wish they could talk... well, not yet.

euro, i've got a sleepy baby as well. it used to worry me as it seemed she should be waking to feed more. but, though slighter, she's grown very long (91st centile), is smiley, right now kicking and giggling (just started doing that this week) under her playgym. so sleep/eat balance must be just fine.

however, as you said in other words you may have jinxed tonight's sleep by saying so. I do the same: whenever i tell someone she's a good sleeper that very night she has a really broken night . let's compare notes tomorrow .

llareggub rofl did they see you?!

back from the doc's armed with prescriptions for g's eczema and another silver nitrate pencil for her granuloma which is still there. have to go back on thursday am again for it to be treated.. hopefully 2nd time lucky and it will go.

llareggub - and

Oh God.

I live in a cul-de-sac. The neighbours are usually out all day so I'm a bit blase about walking around with my norks out when feeding DS2.

Next door are having work done and I've just accidentally flashed my norks at the workman.

and

Daisy Happy birthday. I have had 2 pieces of non virual chocolate cake in honour .

I am eating like a beast at the moment. I'm so hungry and am having huge meals. When I look at how big DS is I feel justified in my hunger and I am still losing weight I think. Thank goodness for BFing. Luckily as DD is always around I can't snack on crap otherwise I'd have to give her it as well so that saves me a few calories.

Momino It sounds to me like your let down could be too much for H. What about when you know she is nearly due a feed instead of offering wait until she is asking for it. Sometimes I feed R because its time or we need to go out soon but he feeds much better when he is really asking for it. He also feeds really quickly off one side then has a 20 min or more break and has a slower, comfort feed off the other boob.

Ses I hope appointment is ok today. My DD was a very petite baby and stayed just above the 9th but dropped to the 2nd at one point. She is now 50th at 20months but is still petite as she is tall. DS is 75th for height and weight and is the same weight as DD was at 22 weeks. They are all different and just because O was born at 75th doesn't mean he should follow that line he might follow the 9th like my DD and catch up later.

We are going to a 3rd birthday party this afternoon so very exciting. DD and DS are both having naps now. Euromum both mine are great sleeper as well thank goodness. Whenever they have a wakeful night it nearly kills me and I don't know how parents do the sleepless night thing for years.

Hi all <smiles round the room>.
Daizy, happy Birthday, hope you have a great day. Yes please, send me some virtual cake.

Fi, well done on G's weight gain. Am so of these big babies.

reggiee, hope jabs go ok and tummy probs a bit clearer.

blotted, after reading your post for ses, i do agree with you. we were referred to paediatric care even though by then, dd1 was gaining. she had to go through 3 cystic fibrosis tests in 5 months(her bad eczema caused conflicting results)even though it was obvious she didn't have the disease, eg, was gaining, no chest/breathing probs, immune system good etc. but i think once they started her case, they wanted to follow through to be 100% certain. it was a pita.

tummum, good way of thinking to get SF out of the way now. Hope your dd2 isn't too miserable.

pula, how are you feeling? meds seem to be helping? hope all is well.

euro, we have a buggy board for dd1 which she used from when she was 2.5. it did take her some time to get used to. but i do think each child is different. I llareggub's idea of a balance bike.

about BF, still can't work out Harper's needs. for her 2nd feed today, she'd just woken up from a nap (so shouldn't have been tired), it had been 3 hours from her last feed so she should have been hungry. yet, she took a little then came off and cried, tried again etc. i took her off to wind her and only a little burp came up. so I put her back on again and more fussiness leading to fully crying. so i then put her down for about 15 minutes after she'd calmed down and I changed dd2. after all that, i put her on the boob and she fed fine for 20 min. do you think my flow is too fast maybe and that frustrates her? it's the only thing I can think of that would cause her to act like that. belgian, what do you think?

glad the links were helpful euro they're due to living in a lovely but very limited place as far as shopping choice goes and not being in the mood to trail ds into bristol 20miles away if i can avoid it

Daizy - happy birthday

Euro - I use a bubbyboard with DD2 (who is nearly 3) and sold it to her by saying that it was a skateboard.

Reggie - hope the jabs go OK

Well it looks like DD2 has SF for sure, so she is on Tamiflu (hidden in nutella - cruel mummy that I am!). Ladies, if the diagnosis is true, it really is nothing to worry about as it's just like having a nasty cold. G is being really grumpy today, which is unlike him, so I suspect he is coming down with it also. Will just have to wait and see. In some ways I feel relieved because we're getting it over and done with before holiday and I can stop worrying about it now! I am very grateful that DH was unexpectedly home to help out and for us to make joint decisions about what to do next.

right off to the doc's to get grace's eczema checked out. hopefully they'll be running to time today or ds will climb the walls again..

Fi I have heard your links praised before but not yet been the lucky recipient - what a brilliant lot of ideas! I'd never seen most of them before so will do some serious thinking as there are some good options there. Obviously at first sight I like all the expensive ones most .

Happy birthday daizy, I hope you have a lovely day and evening out (v v - it was our anniversary yesterday and I made nice dinner to make up for not getting out - then had to bf ds until it was cold and dh was fed up! It was nice enough anyway, fortunately!).

OK had better do some useful things while ds sleeps. <Whispers so all those with bad sleepers don't have to listen> he is in fact the incredible sleeping baby, I spend most days worrying that I will be up all night but it never seems to make any difference. Famous last words I bet, we'll see how tonight goes...

reggie good luck with the jabs... it's only if lo has a high temp they don't get them here.. colds they just ignore

llare i'm worn out reading about your davina workout!! the maxi buggyboard if you're still thinking of one is supposed to fit lots of quinny models... well the buzz, freestyle, speedi & zapp

just found this buggyboard/seat too a brand new type just out... kidsit

Happy birthday DAISY. Hope you are being spoilt.

TUM scary evening for you. Hope all is well with you all today.

LLARE am most impressed at your workout. Hope you're now sitting down with your feet up and a cuppa in hand to recover .

We're off to the doctors soon. B's appointment (finally) here to check out his tummy troubles. Then we have his second jabs - am slighty unsure whether to go ahead as he has sneezed a few times this morning <paranoid>. I think I have a cold coming as have been blowing my nose a few times today. Am fairly certain it's not going to be the dreaded SF as I always get the most hideous throats ever with bad colds / flu etc whereas just annoying throats (as now) with colds.

happy birthday daisydoo hope you have a great day and night out

btw absolutely no offence taken about my bugaboo round here they are not v popular when we got ours for ds there were very few prams that had all the things i wanted a pram to do... in comparison to the choice these days...

eurom my ds will be 3 in a few weeks time and i'd wondered if he would be ok on the buggy board. I bought a 2nd hand bibi swiss strolli just in case he didn't want to stand. He loves either of them but we use the board the most although when shopping i do wish he was still strapped in a pram so i can browse longer! I have to have him in reins when we go shopping or he's off at every available opportunity!!

You have quite a few options for younger lo's... these are the links for the ones i researched before getting what we have. You're right they're not cheap but much cheaper than a double buggy

The Tug
Buggypod Smorph
Buggy board Maxi

bugaboo options
Buggy board
Twoo seat adaptor

fi - i figure i spend £5 or more per month on breastpads so the lilypadz aren't much different in price - I think i will keep a look out on ebay for cheap ones. When i'm in the house i tend to collect milk in breastshells to use for bottle feeds (usually around 4oz a day leaks out) so will just use these when out and about and at night (although i will have to see how effectively they work).

well back from hv clinic and as i'd hoped it was quiet.. g is now 13lbs 10.5oz at 8.5wks and still following her 98th line so chuffed with my boobs.. definitely working no prob now i'm hoping the lilypadz last a bit longer than the 2months the box says. i only leak with my let down but i like the fact that i don't end up with a creased soggy disposable pads when i've forgotten to take spares out with me. i will buy another set when the time comes that these lose their stick.. i know they're not cheap but i deserve the odd luxury right?!

Right! Davina DVD done and dusted and now I can't move. I'm doing the Power of 3 workout and can only get through the warm-up and legs bums and tums before giving up. I'm not managing it 3 times a week either!

Lots to do today. I've got to clean the floor as the NCT mob are coming tomorrow. I'm not going to bother tidying up the toys as the toddlers will soon pull everything apart anyway! Still got to figure out what to do for lunch for them all though. Am very tempted to do a big saucepan of soup with homemade bread (breadmaker) as this might well be the cheapest and easiest way. What do you think? I've also got to do some paperwork for the business. I've set up a spreadsheet but I think I've messed up the calculations because it doesn't see to total correctly. Grr.

HV has been and S is still gaining weight (now 12lb 12.5oz at 10 weeks) but his weight gain is slowing down a bit so around 50% line now.

HV is coming for another home visit in a month's time after her hols. I guess with me being depressed and S being a bit unsettled still she wants to check up on me! She is very nice though so it's good to see her, but i do feel like i'm being assessed...

happy birthday daizydoo

we've decided to give mum and baby group a miss today cos of the pouring rain and M v.snotty and unsettled poor thing she's really struggling today - thank god for saline drops and calpol
she's been feeding on and off all morning probably more for comfort than anything else