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December 2011 - the one where we do the Twist and Shout

(989 Posts)
ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Sun 11-May-14 22:27:14

New thread.

<whispers>

these babies are nearly two and a half

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution Sun 11-May-14 22:38:18

And some of them have younger siblings!! And some of those are getting close to two younger siblings.
We'll be talking about teenagers and the least offensive smelling lynx body spray!

Also marking place

OiMissus Sun 11-May-14 22:54:38

Oi Oi!
The AF arrived t

OiMissus Sun 11-May-14 22:58:29

...onight. Which is great as it 'll be over with (almost) for our holiday on Saturday.
Sunnier climes and alcohol, and lovely hotel will mean more sex. So maybe next month?
Will catch up properly soon, but now tis time for sleep.
Yawn!
(Happy about little faffin's easier bottom, and new skunks, and new loo rolls, and gardening, and these things.)

hinkyhonk Mon 12-May-14 08:20:31

Slinking in to report for duty.

House being turned upside down with repairs so battling the dust and all the ridiculous amounts of admin that is needed to run our lives. Does everyone else have this much? It's insane at the moment. No time for fun at all sad

mopsytop Mon 12-May-14 12:23:12

That sounds slightly more positive Faffin.

Bummer Oi. Fingers crossed for holiday pregnancy!

V bad headache. Wonder if is linked to hols over and back at work with lots of stress. Feels like it might be turning into a migraine sad sad

Chipandspuds Mon 12-May-14 17:34:06

Hi all, just marking place will catch up properly later smile

Figster Mon 12-May-14 17:51:19

Checking in from my plush hotel in central brum have work to do tonight can't decide whether to do it before or after dinner and wine.......better do it now,

Skunk pic to follow I feel like I'm potty training him hope he's a bit more interested than DS grin

Yay, can't wait for the skunk pic figster, and I bet DS is made up too.

Really glad a good night's sleep helped faffin, and that DD is feeling brighter too. Sounds like she's really soldiered on over the past few days.

Lots of holiday sex sounds good to me Oi, but just the holiday, warm weather and a drink sounds bloody fabulous! Where are you off to?

I also cannot believe that our thundering chubster toddlers babies are nearly 2.5, loads have one younger sibling and one or two will have two! Frankly hats off to you ladies who have the time, and the energy, and a soupcon of envy as I'm having to wait!

Aethelfleda Mon 12-May-14 21:13:13

<yawn> Is it the weekend yet? No? <grumble>

Have a lovely holiday oi! Here's to next month bringing you a BFP...

Posh hotel in Brum, eh? Sounds lovely....

Aethelfleda Mon 12-May-14 21:14:42

Ps hope that headache went away mopsy!

mopsytop Mon 12-May-14 21:21:18

Thanks aethel. It turned into migraine. I vomited four times at work, thought my head wd explode. Managed to then make it to hotel and slept on and off most of afternoon. No longer want to die, head getting more or less bearable. Took cocodamol in spite of first trimester as just couldn't cope. Better get off phone though. Only just turned it on and making head worse.

Aethelfleda Mon 12-May-14 21:38:06

<bungs an eye mask and soluble paracetamol at mopsy>

Sleep well, hope it's gone by the morning!

OiMissus Mon 12-May-14 23:11:37

Ugh, Mopsy, that sounds awful. Hugs.
Fig - the delightful aspects from your hotel window, brum - who knew such glamour existed!??!
Am gutted that I get to go to Copenhagen all the friggin time , and, as a diehard Eurovision fan, I didn't sort it out to get tickets etc. I blame the Boi. ...when he's older, I shall explain and make him pay.
wink
We're off to Turkey. The same resort we went to last September. It was fabulous, and after Xmas I wanted to sort something. DH had just sold his house, it seemed rude not to!
gringringrin
Hilton Dalaman sarigerme, don't mind if I do!grin

Figster Tue 13-May-14 07:18:12

What do we all think about this home birth stories in the papers today I wouldn't entertain one I liked being in hospital with pain relief and easy access to full medical care if needed.

Oi am so jealous about turkey i love it there been 3 times (met dh there) haven't had a holiday for 4 years next month but not entertaining one this year either. Think dh dangling a holiday next spring is a Dc2 delay tactic the crafty bugger.

Isn't kri5ty due her c section with dc2 today?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 13-May-14 11:51:37

Kri5ty is indeed due her section on Thursday, but we're all on baby watch in case the monkey turns up early and she needs us to watch her DS1; have got the volume up on my phone just in case.

So I finally admitted to DH how upset I'm feeling about not having a second baby. I don't know if he will ever change his mind, but at least he now knows how much it's bothering me. He said we can talk about it tonight and unpack what is bothering us both. So who knows what will happen. I just can't bare the thought of DS not having a sibling.

In other boring, domestic news, we're getting new windows/doors and a new boiler next month. Whoop. At least I'll be able to run a bath!

Figster I'd be up for a home birth next time round, or a birth centre (midwife led) one, I think all the things that went wrong at Ds' birth could have been prevented if I hadn't had the dimorphine and been laid on my back. Saying that, I needed those drugs at the time! Women should just have more choice and access to more midwives.

<throws cake grenade into thread>
Supposed to be a heatwave coming up north this week, I am not optimistic.

OiMissus Tue 13-May-14 20:20:41

One reason to add to DS not being an only child : when my grandad was suffering with dementia, my retired uncle went round in the mornings to check he was up and had had breakfast, meals on wheels did lunch, my mum and my aunt (both working) took it in turns to do dinner, I called him every night at 9:30pm to tell him it was time to close the curtains and go to bed.
Imagine if all that responsibility laid on just one person. It's too much. But even relatively simple things like taking decisions about care, etc. are better shared.
A problem shared is a problem halved. Or something like that. smile

It's certainly tough Oi, all of the very, very significant care demands from my Mum's serious illnesses have fallen on me in the first instance, not to mention the emotional burden (tonight's phonecall ended- when I said I would only be able to call one out of the next two nights as we have to do the shopping, DP's on call, and I have to make him birthday stuff to take in- with her going 'oh no, but I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely, oh nooooo' in one of those joking-but-I-really-mean-it voices).

It's shit. I have to call every night, and when we go to visit I have to spend all my time there- I can generally wangle one session away, with guilt. And it's so hard, as she's cared for me so much, and is disabled, but I could really do without the emotional guilt trip being laid on me.
I call her up on it now. But still I'm torn between her being my friend, the guilt trips, the acknowledgement that she is disabled, and the knowledge that she owns her own house outright, has great friends, has great care, has a good income, has a caring family etc....

And breathe.

sad

mopsy, so sorry to hear that the migraines started, I really, really hope it's a one off for you, as it sounds horrendous.

On a general level figster, I think a woman should absolutely be able to give birth how and where she wants, end of question. Looking at the info, recommendations and personal experience, I think it's better if women have first births in a hospital setting (whether a MLU, on a ward etc) and do the next birth(s) at home. Personally, and given I'm going to have another c-section when I have no.2, I'm a fan of hospitals!

Figster Tue 13-May-14 22:15:32

I'm sticking with hospitals .,.....me likey the drugs grin

Pizza and then limoncello trifle tonight feeling bleedin sick but was gooooood grin started the day with waffles and caramelised bananas .......fatty......just finished homework.

Hop I hadn't realised you were sad about dc2 I knew it was more dh than you who didn't want another but didn't appreciate u felt that sad about it hope the talk goes well tonight.

Aethelfleda Tue 13-May-14 22:38:56

Figgy, I was lucky enough to have three standard "low risk" births, gas and air, first two were in a home-from-home room and the third was a waterbirth.

You still couldn't pay me to have a homebirth or midwife-only birth. Sure, childbirth is natural, but so is cerebral palsy and last-minute 'orrible bleeds. And I likes my no-intervention birthplan to include a little red button on the wall which can summon a team of George Clooney lookalikes resus docs at the thump of a button.....

mopsytop Tue 13-May-14 22:44:12

Totally with you on that aethel!

fixyourgardengate Tue 13-May-14 23:03:36

Yeah, I too had relatively straight forward births (in retrospect I could def have had DD at home). With DD I arrived at hospital at noon, had her just after 5 and was home before midnight.

Despite living less than 5 mins from the hospital in both cases (different hospitals in different parts of the country) I still think I will have no 3 in hospital. Not that no 3 has even been conceived yet wink

I a) agree with aethel too many things could go wrong and b) don't like the idea of strangers in my home (I would start cleaning the house at the first twinge in my usual onlycleanwhenthereissomeonevisiting panic) and c) urgh the mess! Who would clean it all up?

I also just can't understand how the NHS could provide enough midwives on call to cover x number of home births. If women are currently not getting 1:1 care on labour wards because of staff shortages how on earth can it be possible to coordinate that many community midwives?! Not my experience btw. I had a midwife in the room from admission to birth in both cases. And DS was born in a very busy city hospital, DD in a very busy hospital serving a considerably sized semi-rural area.

With DS the midwife led unit is literally just down the hall from the main labour ward so a bit of a no brainer imo (use the midwife led bit if you want, the emergency team are close). I was much less organised panicked about having DD and so never even had the maternity tour pre-birth. I don't even know if they have a midwife led bit here. But it is my understanding that some midwife led units are entirely self contained. That would worry me. With DS things did nearly go horribly wrong, DH was terrified. Luckily there was a consultant already in the room so things were dealt with reasonably quickly.

In an ideal world we should be able to choose where, how and who with (staff and family members) but realistically it just isn't possible is it? Someone is always going to have a totally shit and possibly life threatening experience. I've been lucky so now feel like I have no right to weigh in with an opinion although I am getting a bit bolchy and weighing in on fb when I see other Mum's slagging off an ENTIRE hospital because of one bad experience in one department

I've been thinking about this a bit today, can you tell?!

Chipandspuds Wed 14-May-14 06:16:13

On the home birth front I wasn't keen on the idea for DS as I'd only seen people giving birth on TV like in Eastenders cue panic and screaming etc and thought it might be too noisy for the neighbours!

In the actual event I was very quiet, no screaming and didn't have time/inclination to talk to anyone and the birth was straightforward and relatively quick. I would still prefer to have dc2 in hospital - well the midwife led unit in a birthing pool as I did with DS.

I like the idea of being one floor away from the doctors and anaesthetists just I'm case I should need an emergency c-section or any other type of emergency. I would choose a midwife to be in charge of the birth though in ideal circumstances. Mine was lovely, I wish that I could have her again she read my birth plan and she seemed to match what I needed, totally calm and peaceful and really stepped back!

Northern that sounds like hard work emotionally with your Mum. I'm glad that I share my Mum with my brother as if she is going through a bad patch we can both help out. We're both good at different things too, so if one of us can't cheer her up the other can usually!

Good luck with the talks Hop. Hopefully even if nothing gets decided at least you will feel better to get it all off your chest.

Very envy of your holiday Oi! Have fun for all of us smile

Hope that you're feeling okay today Mopsy. If I don't catch my headache in time I end up being sick with it too which is horrible as it feels like your head is about to explode on top of the banging when you can't breath properly as well. Do you find you feel a bit better after being sick? I find I do, it's almost like your other body parts stop working I'm anticipation of the migraine so that you can't digest food.

mopsytop Wed 14-May-14 08:34:39

Chip, very headachy again today but not unbearable. Let's hope it stays like that as very busy at work. I think it is the pain that causes the vomiting. The pain just after I vomit though is excruciating. I guess it is the effort of vomiting. I also have really quite bad twinges in my left bum/lower back. Pelvic girdle. Seems more intense than last time. Hope doesn't get too bad. All in all not feeling too wonderful this week sad On plus side only two weeks until scan!

Oi enjoy lovely hols!

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 14-May-14 10:05:05

Warning, massive rant
Last night's conversation didn't go ahead. After getting DS to bed and having dinner, DH buried himself in his tablet and when I stropped off to bed he stayed up for a couple of hours doing his ironing. I'm so beyond angry right now. He knew how upset I was, and seemed so honestly to want to hear what I had to say. Clearly not.

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