Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

[TiggyD]

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at.

It's hard being English.

[TalcAndTurnips]

Did they not have a hot tub?

[DanGleballs]

Surely hot tubs are only for swingers? Hot tubs are the new pampas grass apparently

[Batteriesallgone]

Where there marshmellows and/or cream in the hot chocolate?

I feel this is an important point.

[BakeOffBiscuits]

Oh you poor thing. I had a very similar experience and it was humiliating.

I asked for a cup of tea, the conversation went thus:

Waitress "China?"

Me: "I don't mind, a mug would do"

Waitress "No, I meant is Chinese tea alright"

This was 10 years ago and it still haunts me.

[CaoNiMao]

Is this a joke? A reverse?

[Batteriesallgone]

Were*

[Allalonenow]

I don't think it was middle middle class, or you would have been served artisan sausage with wild mushrooms in a filo pastry purse.

[TiggyD]

Organic food apparently. And they refer to children as "little people".

No hot tub. Pom Bears though. (Gluten Free)

[TalcAndTurnips]

There was another class thread earlier - apparently some journo knob thinks that possession of a hot tub is an indicator of class.

I would prefer it if the cafe could be it bit more specific, to avoid these slips. A note on the door saying No riff-raff and we do serve everything with drizzly shit on the side, even our downmarket sausage rolls

[Maudlinmaud]

I was charged £12 for a matcha latte. Never again I know my station in life!

[queenc81]

Argh I had this, went for a chocolate brownie and they squirted red shit all over it

[TiggyD]

No marshmallows in the chocolate. It was sprinkled with chocolate powder though.

There was something artisanal about the sausage roll. Like they used an actual sausage rather than sausage meat.

[OurBlanche]

Don't even joke Allalonenow

Earlier this month I went for lunch with my cousin, the day after her DFs funeral.

We were doing quite well until our order arrived... twisted pastry netting over meat pate with a thin scraping of duxelle arrived, with a little (as in a spriglet) of lollo rosso, for that continental touch.

Our problem was magnified as we both remembered Uncle prancing around doing that advert... crying and laughing = snorting and snotting. Not quite what we had in mind... nor did the other patrons, we realised!

[MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours]

Ooh, easy mistake to make but humiliating and upsetting even though.

I think you got away lightly really though, they served it on a plate, could have been a trendy mini coal scuttle with amusing bits of coal 90% raw fair trade, rolled by artisan ancient ladies chocolate Shudder!

[TalcAndTurnips]

Tiggy dearest - a good way to ensure that you end up in the type of establishment you are seeking, is to look for the fluorescent card stars stuck to the front window.

If you see these, the staff will probably batter your sausage roll and pop it in the fryer for you, should you wish. And serve your tea in a galvanised bucket, with nineteen sugars.

And NO speculoos biscuit.

[TiggyD]

But Talc, I'm lower middle, not middle lower!

[ninnypoo]

I also made this mistake in London. Ordered a pumpkin spiced latte in a fancy independent cafe (much mocked but I like the autumnal flavours)... Didn't realise that in non chain coffee shops they put actual pumpkin in! I only like the artificial flavoured syrup! Couldn't drink it and left in disgrace, had to find a Greggs to settle my nerves.

[Maryberryjam]

Was just wondering if sausage roll was served on an actual plate , or a jaunty chopping board !

[SirChenjin]

I take issue with your assertion that the mark of lower class caff is its willingness to deep fry a sausage roll. Here in Scotland we deep fry as a matter of course irrespective of whether there are fluorescent cards in the windows (or windaes, to use the vernacular) - it's one of our great social levellers.

[Allalonenow]

NO speculoos biscuit!

A sure sign of civilization grinding to a halt.

[SirChenjin]

That was for TalcAndNeep

[Maudlinmaud]

sir I've heard a rumour in scotland they deep fry mars bars in Scotland. Please tell me its true!

[Maudlinmaud]

Fuck sake ignore me my brain is broken.

[SirChenjin]

It is true! And we don't limit ourselves to Mars Bars - if it's made from sugar and coated in chocolate we'll deep fry it!

[AutumnalLeaves38]

Dealbreaker:

Were all drinks being served in Mason Jars?