ONE STILLBIRTH / TWO MISCARRIAGES IN NINE MONTHS.

[LEWEI]

I had a miscarriage at the weekend, this is my second since Feb, we are obviously devestated after losing our son last Sep. The miscarriages are causing us a great deal of concern, not only due to the fact that we have lost our babies but the fact that both happened exactly when the second period would have been due. We are thinking very carefully about trying again because we can't go on like this. Has anyone out there experienced this kind of problem? I carried my son full term without much problem until the end, and we just don't understand why we are losing our babies in the second month.

[SoupDragon]

Oh Lewei, I don't know what to say... Hugs.

[lilibet]

lewei, my heart goes out to you. My mum was in a very similar situation in the 1950's but was told when she had to see a gynecologist about 15 years ago that it was a problem that was quite easily solvable today. what does your doctor say?

[snowbird]

Lewei, I can't think of anything to say except you are in my thoughts.
Love and hugs xxxxx

[chanelno5]

Oh Lewei - I am so sorry. You are very brave to come on mumsnet and tell us all about it. I hope that we can be of some comfort and support to you. Following the birth of her first child, a friend of mine had 2 miscarriages about 8/9 wks and, following investigations, was found to have 'thick' blood (there is a medical term for this, but I can't remember what it is) At the start of her next pg, she had to take aspirin to thin her blood and went on to have a healthy baby. I'm sure after all you've been through, your doctor will refer you on for further investigation. Thinking of you x

[Marina]

Lewei, I am so very sorry to hear your news, this must be a hard blow. Given your circumstances, would the consultant or your GP not consider referring you NOW rather than insisting on the usual "three first trimester losses" rule that seems to prevail in the UK. I think Chanel's friend's experience may be worth bearing in mind. I have a friend who also lost two babies in succession at around nine weeks last year and the year before (and had previously had two successful pregnancies) and baby aspirin has worked its magic for her - their daughter was born two weeks ago. She went private to get the confirmation of Hughes Syndrome quicker than she would have done on the NHS - she was not prepared to conceive and possibly lose another baby to satisfy the national criteria.
Thinking of you at this sad time and sending you cyberhugs.

[tilba]

Lewei,it's just so devastating to miscarry again especially after loosing your son in September.
5 years ago aged 35 I had 4 miscarriages in 14m. I was just about a basket case.
My OB/GYN referred me to the Royal Womens Hospital in Melbourne where they were conducting a trial for "habitual aborters". I had to take a mini dose aspirin pre and post conception. I conceived again in a few months and had weekly scans and blood tests throughout the pregnancy. I lost one twin at 14 weeks but otherwise had an uneventful pregnancy and had an absolutely gorgeous daughter. Was so wound up with her had a totally unplanned second daughter 14m later without the benefit of aspirin.....though I did take it the minute I found out I was prenant but I was about 16wks before I realised!
I am sure if you emailed the RWH someone would give you the info if your OB thinks you could benefit. There were 200 of us on the trial in 1998 and I don't know the stats but we were a pretty happy group.
Good luck xxxxxxx

[tilba]

Lewei,it's just so devastating to miscarry again especially after loosing your son in September.
5 years ago aged 35 I had 4 miscarriages in 14m. I was just about a basket case.
My OB/GYN referred me to the Royal Womens Hospital in Melbourne where they were conducting a trial for "habitual aborters". I had to take a mini dose aspirin pre and post conception. I conceived again in a few months and had weekly scans and blood tests throughout the pregnancy. I lost one twin at 14 weeks but otherwise had an uneventful pregnancy and had an absolutely gorgeous daughter. Was so wound up with her had a totally unplanned second daughter 14m later without the benefit of aspirin.....though I did take it the minute I found out I was prenant but I was about 16wks before I realised!
I am sure if you emailed the RWH someone would give you the info if your OB thinks you could benefit. There were 200 of us on the trial in 1998 and I don't know the stats but we were a pretty happy group.
Good luck xxxxxxx

[WideWebWitch]

Oh Lewei, just wanted to say sorry too.

[quackers]

I am so sorry for your losses lewei. You must be feeling very raw and no doubt angry as to why this has happened again. I can only add that I am aware there are several reasons why this can happen and I've heard the majority of cases can be solved. Its just a great shame that you have to experience these losses before an reason is found. I hope you are able to get an answer to this. Have you considered going private? Marina made a good point that to conceive and possibly lose again just to satisfy the criteria would be another trauma. A referral from your GP would be obviously best but you may need to pay and go private to get attention quicker.
Its very early days after your m/c so please take care of yourself. My thoughts are with you -really.
xxx hugs.

[Brookstone]

lewei, i'm so sorry to hear what you have had to go through. losing a baby is just so painful-and to lose more than one just fills you with fear and dread and even more pain. i lost my first baby through a miscarriage at 12 weeks. we were devastated but went on to concieve again within a few months. at the end of august last year, we had our ds- so longed for- but sadly he was premature and stillborn. as you most know it's just the worst thing to go through and it stays with you forever. we want a baby so much, that again i became pg and am now 5 months. i'm really hoping that this time we'll be lucky!
i knew that i couldn't face losing another baby again so following my son's stillbirth the hospital (NHS) did the investigatory tests. thankfully everything was ok but just bad luck! so if you ask your doctor to investigate why you are losing your babies then i'm sure they would look into it- why do you have to go through this again? ask for the tests. i'm sure your doctor will understand. also my conultant has put me onto low-dose aspirin to help the blood-flow through the placenta to the baby in an effort to help things along and so far this pg has been great (tip wood!). so maybe something similiar could be looked at for you if appropriate. i can imagine how much you want another baby, lewei, so please keep postitive during this difficult time and get your doctor to help you through your next pg. thinking of you and wishing you LOL

[wickedstepmother]

Lewei

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I just wanted you to know that I have been through a similar sequence of events and have come out the other side.

I became pregnant at 17 and decided, after much heartbreak, to have a termination. I then became pregnant several years later after trying for a couple of months and my daughter died in utero at 26 weeks, I, like, you had to go through the trauma of a stillbirth. I felt that this was my 'punishment' for terminating my first pregnancy. I then went on to become pregnant shortly after ( 6 months) and I miscarried that child at 7 weeks. I know how devastating this must be for you and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone (although from the number of supportive posts here, I guess you already know that).

I would urge you to press your GP for further investigations and advice. Please don't give up hope, I now have a gorgeous healthy 10 month old DD so it can and does happen

[Enid]

lewei, so sorry to hear your news. Just to add to others posts, a friend of mine had 3 miscarriages and was advised to take aspirin. She did and had a lovely daughter. I will admit I took baby aspirin during the first three months of pg with dd2 as I had a miscarriage previously. I have no idea whether it helped but dd2 was born healthy and happy. lots of love Ex

[LEWEI]

Thank you all for your support, my doctor told me on Monday that i would have to miscarry again before they would investigate, because Lewis was a full term stillbirth,not a miscarriage. i think their attitude is a little harsh considering our situation. I took the tissue ect(as the doctors so nicley called our little one)to the hospital to be examined and they LOST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which leaves us with nothing. I am very interested in the information on taking aspirin, i would like to learn more about this.

[lou33]

Lewei, I am so sorry to hear your very sad news. I have nothing to add but you have my admiration and compassion.

[wickedstepmother]

I'm so sorry that you have been so insensitively treated by the so-called 'caring profession'. Have you taken the 'loss' of your little one's tissue sample any further ?

[pie]

Lewei, I agree that your the medical attitude is harsh. I'm sorry to hear that as far as investigation goes you wouldn't get any help unless you go through this heartache again. I think that most early m/c happend when a period is due, I know this is when I had my only m/c.

Would it be worth going to back to your doctor and isisting that you see a specialist as you don't want to lose another baby? Or would you be willing to consider a one of appoinment with a specialist that also has a private practice for some general advice?

I have no advice to give accept to say that you should take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[Marina]

Lewei, baby aspirin or a very low dose adult aspirin (and other therapies) are recommended when there is a diagnosis of Hughes or antiphospholipid syndromes. Here is their official website if you are interested. Aspirin in higher doses can cause problems in early pregnancy though, so I think it's important to find a sympathetic doctor who can help you with this.
I really, really feel an exception could be made for you after all that you have been through. I am deeply troubled by the lack of support you are getting from the health professionals involved in your case. Bereavement midwives should be compulsory in every hospital with a Women's Services Unit I think.

[aloha]

Just to say I am very sorry too. And also think that after three losses, albeit different ones, you should be referred. After all, as you say, this is profoundly distressing for you. I really hope you get the help you need and have a baby soon.

[musica]

Lewei, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Might it be worth contacting the hospital, or going through a different route, another doctor might be more sensitive, and more open to investigating earlier. I would definitely push for more information.

[SilverUK]

Having been through 6 IUI and 6 IVF, both NHS and 2 private clinics over 9 years before we had dd1 (yep we now have 2, and 2 losses), I would think about going private. I beat myself up for years over the cost, and delayed going private for years, then when I found out how much nursery fees were (as I intended to keep working), I finally realised even IVF was nothing compared to raising a kid! You're unlikely to need all that intervention, but you will certainly get precise advice about aspirin and a lot else besides. You deserve this right now, but hey, this is the NHS after all. Not noted for prioritising infertility in all its nasty forms.

[Tinker]

Lewei - really sorry to hear about this. A friend had an ectopic and then 3 miscarriages (after having a child previously). She took aspirin and later produced a very healthy son. But this 3 miscarriages rule seems so harsh, especially since many situations like this do seem to be solved with the aspirin thing. Why they can't intervene after 2 I don't know? Well, I do, cost of course. Hoep you find a sympathetic doctor who may be able to help you earlier with this.

[LEWEI]

I have a very supportive GP who is willing to support us in whatever way that she can, but i am afraid that the same cannot be said for my consultant. I don't know if we are being treated badly because we are in the middle of a rather lengthy investigation into our son's death and have made clear to the hospital our intention to hold them to account for their part in his death. I am giving the hospital until monday to find our little one and if they cannot then we will have to take action, they have lost what could hold the answer to our problem.I feel very let down, my community midwife hasn't even bothered to call,we have been offered no support. In fact we were just shown the door at the clinic and were told to call if i had anymore symptoms. The attitude was one of, try again and if you lose it then we will investigate but if you don't try again then you will never know!! I think sometimes medical professionals forget that they are dealing with real people who are losing their children. To us, they were our babies from the moment of conception, not just embryo's and foetus's. They have names,they have roses named after them and we will forever long for them, but we haven't lost enough yet to warrant the help of the caring profession. Perhaps i sound bitter but at times it is hard to be anything but. As i said before i am very interested in the info about aspirin and intend to follow it up.My prayers go out to all of you have have suffered loss.

[lucy123]

Very sorry too, Lewei.

I don't know if it helps at all, but the reason they have the 3 miscarriages before investigation rule is that the majority of women who have 2 miscarriages in a row are just unlucky, and don't have any underlying problems.

Having said that I think if I were you I'd at least find out how much getting seen privately costs, just to set your mind at rest. Best of luck next time.