Needles and Neutrophils: The Hobnob Chronicles

[biscuitsandbandages]

Four weeks today I woke in my own bed with my 8 week old daughter in my arms and waited for the inevitable sounds of approaching 4 and 6 year old boys. I had everything I had every dreamed of. Life was difficult and tiring but we were getting there and I had plans for the summer and dreams for our family's future together.

Twelve hours later I was on CCU plugged into a monitor with fluid around my heart secondary to a diagnosis of adult T cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. I've not been home since.

Statistically my chances aren't great but statistics don't apply to individuals and leukaemia hasn't met me before. My personal survival statistics calculated by me and based on stubbornness, amazing support from family, friends and my mumsnet backup crew and the healing powers of 3 small children are 100% and I won't accept less.

I have superpowers. I have grown three entire human beings. Piddly little leukaemic cells haven't got a hope.

But.....at times I am very scared. This should not be happening to me. It's was not how I planned to spend my maternity leave. My precious year when I was just going to be their mum and nothing else.

This is my second thread but I'm not going to link back as I'm moving forward. Thank you for moving forward with me.

Biscuits x

[Mama1980]

Good morning biscuits, rejoining you here to continue to hand hold and send masses of positive thoughts. X

[Fideline987654321]

Woo hoo. Wishing lots of great news to post on the new (brilliantly titled) thread x

[saffronwblue]

Hi biscuits, love the thread title and believe in your personal statistics.

[Swex]

Morning biscuits. A good strong start to the thread. Have a good day

[Rosa]

Morning what a lovely smiley baby you have . Wishing you well on this thread ....

[magimedi]

We'll be with you all the way. Good to hear you sounding so positive.

[Kakaka]

Morning/evening biscuits. Checking in from NZ.

Baby biscuits is lovely. A beautiful happy smile and so cuddly looking I'm not surprised you are missing snuggling with her.

Loving the new title. But now I want hobnobs and we can't get them here!

[PoloMintCity]

Love the strength and positivity coming out of your post Biscuits!

[Only1scoop]

Biscuits I'm here again with endless hob nob supplies....

[YeGodsAndLittleFishes]

Morning lovely biscuits.

That is a truly stonkingly good opening post.

[hedwig2001]

Morning biscuits. Love the picture of smiley babybiscuits.

[Mumsfret]

Morning biscuits. Bravo! What a well-written and hugely positive opening post. Your gritty determination & biscuity fighting spirit are wonderful!

You rock. Family Biscuits rocks. Friends of Family Biscuits rock. Mumsnet support for Family Biscuits rocks. Go Team Biscuits! And come on neutrophils!

Here with you. Rooting for you. Handholding all the way. Try not to let the dark, scary thoughts take over. Be in the present moment, stay strong (as much as you can), and bring any emerging worries to your Mumsnet posse when you need a hand holding or just need to vent. We're here.

[janey68]

Brilliant post.

You are not a statistic. You are a marvellously strong woman, your body has produced three amazing human beings. You have a great brain too... You are a HCP who can talk knowledgably about medical stuff. Oh and you can knit too, you clever thing.

We're with you every step, adding our own positive thoughts to yours, and hand holding when the scary thoughts rise up. Wishing you a calm and positive Sunday. Any children visiting today?

[Stuffofawesome]

Found you. Just a thought...anyway you can convert mat leave to sick leave and take mat leave later?

[KiaOraOAotearoa]

:) morning hobnob!

Your determination is going to get you far, my biscuit. Have a lovely Sunday!

[Badvoc]

Morning!

[calzone]

Morning biscuits!

You ready for presents yet?

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Morning hobnob!!
Great thread title and super strong opening post.

We are all here alongside you, in awe of your strength and pushing you along when needed.
You can do this, stay stale x

[Aethelfleda]

[weebarra]

Morning biscuits!
Re the mat leave/sick leave thing. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months ago when DD was 8 weeks old. I used all my mat leave and only went on to sick leave last week.

[StillProcrastinating]

4 weeks done already, fab work. Great opening post.

[biscuitsandbandages]

Good morning everyone :-)

Am just reading the results of the UKALL12 trial which is the treatment protocol I am on. It's actually quite cheery if you can get past the 50/50 odds :-) cos 50/50 is looking pretty good where I stand. Nice graph showing about 40% survival at 10 years if you can get into remission and have a bone marrow transplant soon after remission.

I should know this time next week a) whether any signs of remission being achieved. b) if I can do phase 2 as an outpatient

I'm worried about the fluid around my heart but it's not growing fast so I'm not going to panic.

Feeling quite positive.

Sorry to hear that. Weebarra. It's just not what you need to hear when you have a tiny one is it :-( how are you doing?

Being on mat leave is actually quite protective. They can't sack me, quiz me or otherwise hassle me at all until feb 2015. Not that they would, they are a lovey bunch but it's nice to know. I will be on sick leave afterthat I guess although there is a chance if everything went amazingly well (and why shouldn't it) that I could go back very part time indeed and just do phone based stuff away from patients until I'm allowed near people again.

[AWombWithoutARoof]

Morning Biscuits. Glad you had a lovely snuggle up with DD last night. Also glad Mr Biscuits gets to stay beyond traditional visiting hours, that's great.

How's the crocheting coming along?

[BeingAMummyIsFabulous]

Brilliant post biscuits...we are here all moving forward with you. You are so strong and wonderfully focused. Hope today is a good day for you and your beautiful family. Love the piccy of your beautiful baby too.

[YeGodsAndLittleFishes]

Thinking positive thoughts for you while I happily hook/crochet this morning.