Slightly loathe to start this thread .. but I honestly want to know with regards to Private Education...

[Twiglett]

I can understand when people say they choose private education for their particular child

But I'm not sure I totally understand how to analyse one's child to see if they would be better in private education

what are the key areas of a child to look at (in your opinion) .. and which ones would be better served in a private rather than a state school (again in your opinion)

I'm not trying to be contentious .. I should just like to know how I should look at my 6 year old who's school life is rather a closed book really

[wildwoman]

absolutely no idea, but I do honestly think DP would have thrived at my (private) school where as I think I would hev been better off at my local state school

[wildwoman]

have even

[NotanOtter]

We considered it for our dd (9) at the time as she appeared to be doing nothing..

In the end we moved her to a more strict primary which did the trick
We did look at private but I felt i could not justify it as i had other option open to me
I would again though
Each child is so different and i believe in looking after their individual needs academically and socially rather than en masse
Do you not know what he/she is up to at school?

[ThatBeetroot]

Music is a big one for me. very different in stare and independent IME

[bossykate]

well i wouldn't analyse my child exactly. i would analyse what he is doing at school, the enrichment activities, how the staff are with him...

in answer to my own questions, atm, as far as ds is concerned:

• reading - one book per week, which means 1:1 reading once a week - god help the children who don't have supportive homes where reading is practised every day.
• enrichment activities, poor, hardly any on offer, worse than many other state schools.
• as ds is young for his year and generally well behaved, his teacher puts him on the "not a problem pile" and doesn't imho take the trouble to make sure he is adequately stretched.

i think a private school would do better on all of these, but as yet have no plans to move ds.

btw, this is a very high performing school.

[Spidermama]

Hmmmm.

Would he/she be better off in a class which doesn't have 33 pupils to one teacher?

That's the biggy for me.

(Not that I can afford to send my four to private school, but if I could I most certainly would. Probably Steiner, which, incidentally, is government subsidised in other European countries.

[Hulababy]

We made the decision as we felt that DD would fit in better with the school we finally chose, other the other schools we looked at. The fact that that one was independent was not actually relevant when making the decision - we looked at more than 1 of both types. It was just the school that felt right and she felt happiest at when looking round there - for many reasons really.

Also what also swung it is that it fit in better with me and DH and our situation re work, times, furture plans, etc.

Now DD is actually at school she tells us very little - like most children she appears to have done "nothing" most days!

[bobsmum]

Both me and my brother went to a very well respected independent school. My parents have always conceded that I would have actually done fine in any school. But my brother needed the extra discipline of an independent school. He's a very intelligent guy with zero motivation, but he got a real push at our school and a lot of individual attention. He left with good results, but a crap behaviour record. But the school stuck with him, he wasn't written off (even though he would say he was). Maybe it was just to boost their league table results? But at least he's got decent grades to stand on.

Maybe he would have done ok at a bigger state school.

for me, I know if I hadn't attended an exam factory I would have done ok and got average acceptable results. But I was pushed and possibly even spoon fed and so got As. Got into a great uni where I learned how to learn rather than memorise IYSWIM.

I loved my school - loved all the extra curricular stuff. My brother hated avery minute he was there. But it got us through.

[bossykate]

btw, when people say they chose private as best for their particular child, they are merely trying to be tactful and not imply that you have made a bad decision for your child. it means no more than that imho.

[NoodleStroodle]

Twiglett I think it starts with your own experiences - one tends to gravitate to the things one knows and is familiar with.

The point for us was that whilst the primary schools around us are some of the best to be had secondary schools here are to put it politely - disappointing. I don;t really want a policeman patrolling the corridors in lunchtimes. The leap from state to private at 11 is very competitive and quite hard. I know several families attempting this and there is a huge amount of work...

Small class sizes and opportunities like huge playing fields, loads of different sports, swimming pools.

Things against - their school friends are all middle class so we work hard to counter this by doing things outside school - financial peer pressure re toys, daddy's car etc, crippling fees.

[Hulababy]

bossykate - I disagree. I have absoultely no problems with state school at all. I worked in them and I went to them. Just that at the itme of choosing the smaller prep school suited us and DD better. It would not necessarily have been the best choice for another child or set of circumstances.

[frogs]

What bk said.

But also, and mainly: is the child happy? If he/she is happy in school (which he won't be if the curriculum is wildly unsuited to his needs) and he has plenty of friends then you can make up for the school's shortcomings fairly easily at home.

Having a child who is consistently not happy at school is really, really hard -- a permanent guilt trip at home and a catalogue of unproductive confrontations with the school. Under those circs, it's reasonable enough to go for any school that you feel will be better in whatever area is causing the problems.

[Berries]

Look at the child & decide whether they are 'outside the norm', whether v bright or challenged. If yes, you need to assess the school very carefully and unfortunately that often means paying so you have a choice.

With dd2 we moved to private because she was v bright, but not v hardworking, and she was socially immature and had been bullied for year. The move to private was good because they had far higher expectations of the children, but also had the time to draw out their potential (as opposed to a bright hard-working child who will produce anyway)

Have decided to send dd1 to private secondary as she is 'high average' hard-working easy to please child and has been totally ignored at state school.

[lionheart]

I have a friend who was really undecided about state or primary for her five year old.

What swung it in the end was the fact that the little girl was very, very shy and her parents thought she would benefit from a smaller class size.

That might be the kind of thing that gets factored into the equation.

[Twiglett]

I get the happiness thing .. but that's about it so far

are state school children 'ignored' at school then if they're doing ok .. is that the general feeling? how would you know? you have playground chatter, talking to other parents (competitive syndrome), parents' evenings (don't trust them to be honest due to positivity slant) and child's inquisitiveness and mastery of reading, writing and maths .. but is it good enough (how does one know)

[LIZS]

We felt that ds would respond better to smaller classes than 30. He was in a class of maximum 13 until equivalent of Year 2 , as we'd lived abroad so class size and scale of school was a factior in a smooth transition. We also felt his issues of motor coordination (?DCD) and gaps in his learning compared to his UK peers might get overlooked in a larger, wide ability range class whereas he gets specific learning support to help and it is very normal to do so, no stigma. Also he loves the wide range of activities and facilties on offer both within the school day and extra curricular. He's already sad at the prospect of having to leave by 13, he loves it so much - he's only 9 !

dd would probably have been easier to suit but she equally loves the school and is thriving.

[Millarkie]

I asked my son's yr 1 teacher directly whether she thought he would benefit from time in a non-selective private school with very small classes.. we were moving house and so he was going to have to change schools anyway. She said that he was not performing up to his potential (not that his potential is enormous, but should be 'average') and that she would recommend that he should enter the small private school for at least yr2 and then consider moving him back to the state system. In her opinion year 2 is very full-on and although he has been having extra literacy help for the last two terms he would struggle.
Both my children are hearing impaired though, and the school we are looking at is not very expensive (compared to some), so we are confident that it's worth it, just for them to be in a quieter classroom.

[Twiglett]

oh also get the extra-curricular stuff

[Berries]

Help in class one day a week and you certainly get to know

Actually, to a certain extent I can see why dd1 was ignored, she was doing well, has v supportive parents, was ok at most subjects and those we considered weak she was still average at. With limited resources I can understand why the time is spent on those who need more help. Unfortunately, after moving dd2 to independant, and having dd1 tutored in order to pass entrance exams, it's pretty obvious that she has spent a long time working below her potential.

[Hulababy]

I agree that class size can often be a factor. One of the reasons DD felt happier and more "at home" at the school we finally chose I think as because of the smaller class sizes. She was used to a pretty small nursery.

[frogs]

Twig, I think often more able children are left to coast in the state system. That doesn't necessarily matter -- personally a little coasting is greatly preferable to the relentless pushing you get in some private prep schools that have to focus from day one on secondary entry. A particular child's experience will depend on the school's attitude, but also on the makeup of the particular class and the individual teacher/s, neither of which you can predict in advance.

[Aloha]

My ds (5) is bright and academically minded. He also has aspergers and dyspraxia, and I have been utterly repelled by threads in which Xenia in particular has been keen to tell us all that the reason she chose independent schools for her children is because children like my son aren't allowed in.

[Twiglett]

yes Aloha ..I can see that I think you need the 'poke them in the eye' thread


(PS fancy coffee next week?)

[Cammelia]

My dd started off in a very small private school with one (small) class per year. She thrived, the school was small enough for all the children to be in the school play, etc. At the end of what would be infant stage in the state system we moved her to a much bigger prep with a more competitive ethos, bigger sports facilities and greater music opportunities etc.
The move was based on the grounds that dd had dislayed leanings towards certain things which are better served in the bigger school.

[Ladymuck]

I don't know if it is what you're looking for but I looked for the best school that I could find which would take my children. There were some that I ruled out totally (actually all private as it happens but in fairness there were one of two state schools that didn't even make it onto the list), and then I considered the size and ethos of each of the others. Even amongst state schools I found an enormous variation between what was on offer, with a one form entry being very different from 3 form for example, and with adult pupil ratios varying from 1:15 in reception to 1:6. We did look at Ofsted reports and the corresponding private school reports (sorry can't remember the name of the body which does them, but as with OFSTED they are all online). And we talked to people we knew who knew the schools either as parents of pupils there or as local teachers.

In the end our first choice school happened to be private whilst our second choice school happened to be state. But we are fortunate in that it isn't particularly any form of sacrifice to pay, so we made our choice on which we thought was the best school. If it had involved sacrifices then we would have been happy with the second choice and switched later if we found it to be necessary. But I hope that we would have not had to do that as I think that it is a lot of pressure to put on the child and the teacher if you are demanding very specific progress for your money.

FWIW, my analysis of ds1 age 4 was that he was bright but lazy, stubborn and possibly a bit lazy. If he could get away with coasting he would. And broadly that is confirmed by his current Y1 teacher. He is not falling behind as such, he is just not progressing to the extent that they think he is capable. And the teacher is being very specific in terms of what would be helpful, and what she would like from me in terms of support. I have to say that I wonder whether he would be tracked so diligently in a larger class and whether he would get away with coasting. And if I recall your experience, I don't think that it is possible that he would have not had a reading record at any point - for one thing every boy is heard to individually read each day. But also the system and curriculum is clearly explained to the parents - all parents know when the spelling and tables tests are, and the results are sent home each week.

And just to be contentious it has been an added bonus that the school is so hot on manners. Quite funny at times to see 5yos overly eager to hold doors open for you and let you in before them etc (typically when it is hugely impractical so you end up holding up a queue of 100 boys all of to assembly or soemthing). Or all standing up when you enter the room to have a quick word with the teacher etc. I do of course know that manners are not confined to private schools before I get shot down, but shall we say they sometimes make a better display of their manners.