The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

[CUNextTuesday]

Brian Eno?

[ChoChoSan]

Bollocks...a misplaced apostrophy in the thread title - shall I get me coat?

[CurlyCasper]

I'll have a trip down Blue Bols memory lane and a piece of Vampire Bill, please. Thank you kindly cho

[ChoChoSan]

Brian Eno is the nicest man on the planet. FACT.

[Ocarina]

Archers and orange, does that not taste weird?

[salander]

ooooh love the shiny new palace! yes, yes, very nice interior decor speshly all the men

by the way love the title

[Ocarina]

Did you know that if you mix Bols Blue and Stella it goes a wonderful green colour? Don't think it did much for the taste mind, but it's a long time ago. I'll just have mine with lemonade thanks Cho

[ChoChoSan]

Look here, Cunty and Ocarina, if you don't think this palace is good enough for you under my management, you can take your business elsewhere, and wash your nets you filthy sluts, you're no better than you should be, either of you!

[CurlyCasper]

Damn it, Gin beat me to the last word on the old Fred.

Blue bols and OJ = lovely radioactive green. I had blue stained, crack lips after my 17th birthday. Not obvious at all

[Scorpette]

Gah, I just wrote a right long spiel as the last comment of the old Fred. So just to rebore you, here it is (PS Lurve the new place, but can we have the boys of Being Human kidnapped too? Ta ever so):

Thank you, my dear Camel, you are right about everything, as per usual. Totally agree that the whole 'you can't drink in pregnancy' issue has been hijacked as a way to control women, etc. I really was interested in people's reasosn for drinking/not drinking, as opposed to trying to force my teetotalism on y'all. When you've given up as much as I have, is hard to remember what a big deal being told you should give summat up actually is! And thank you for your sensible words about personal comments and bullying

And Pol, thanks for putting your side across about allergies. Was exactly that ill too, and people don't realise how bad it can be. Also, because of my hypoglycaemia, adrenal probs and environmental allergies, I am ill on a daily basis: fatigue, feeling faint, severe abdo cramping, toilet ishoos, insomnia, sinus agonies, joint pain, severe sneezing/coughing/wheezing,etc. Out and about I am constantly having sneezing fits or even nearly fainting just because someone has strong perfume on or I accidentally walk past something freshly painted and so on. I'm restricted to ever going on holiday to certain places in Europe or USA/Canada/Australia, as I have to cook everything for myself and can only go to places where I know there'll be specific foodstuffs I can buy and cook.

And people don't realise how miserable it is in other ways - VAG, I think it was, mentioned how nice booze can be in terms of 'special'ness, like at a wedding, but allergy sufferers can never have those experiences ever again - you can't just go out for a meal with friends, you can't eat cake at weddings, you can't join in having ice-cream or fish and chips at the seaside, and you can't even have a biccie or choccy if people are offering them round at work, etc. - you miss out on so much of the inclusiveness, satisfaction, ritual and 'memories' that food gives humans.

And don't get me started on people who say they have allergies but it's all bollocks - they're who ruin it for proper sufferers.

And, for anyone who's interested, have been thoroughly swabbed and am in agony. Although have horrible feeling she didn't swab for thrush, as she didn't seem to know what was going on and I forget to mention it, arsecandles. Have small patch of cervical erosion and a tiny polyp and whilst Dr says they're nowt to get worried over, have to have dreaded scrapey-scrapey colposcopy anyway (just reading about on wikipedia made me cry profusely). And have me a jar for TYF to do his bidniz in (white weewee, not poopoo), as eccentric LadyDoc says 'if you have to have all that done, the least he can do is have some fun under pressure'! shock Feel a bit miserable now. But am on verge of ovulating - would I be mad to go through with Teh Sexing tonight, even though it might hurt and will no doubt bleed (she knows the smear sample will be unreadable, as was basically 50% blood. Nice)? WWYD? And can peeps who've had a colposcopy lie reassure me that it's not too bad?

[CurlyCasper]

How the fuck did scorps manage to get 1002nd post on the old thread? It's a long one too...

[CurlyCasper]

scorps both iggy and I have had colposcopy before. Is not nice, but not too evil. Worse bit for me was second treatment when they took out pre-cancer cells and stemmed the blood with silver, which then flowed into me pants. I have told this tale before so will shut up.

[Eadwacer]

scorps I now need to sit on a rubber ring after reading that...

Don't wiki that colposcopy biz. I don't think it's always Spanish-Inquisition terrible - a quite fragile and flower-like pal of mine had one and went straight back to her desk after.

Meanwhile, Mitchell from Being Human is chained to my desk; I can bring him in for y'all to play with if you promise to let me watch

[Eadwacer]

Curly the image of you having a gilded gusset will stick with me to my dying day...

[ChoChoSan]

Scorps Colcoscopy procedure will hopefully be okay (I checked out colcoscopy.org), but ask if they give a local anaesthetic if they need to take a tissue sample. Most importantly, I hope the results go your way.

Apart from the HSG, the worst part of most of the procedures that I have had, has been ratcheting up the speculum (aaargh!).

However, I have heard the old "its the same as having a smear" line trotted out many times before now...even when the treatment has been fucking agonising. It's no way to treat a rat...

[CurlyCasper]

Like a smear, with more ferreting around in the rat, and a big light is shone up it. (Maybe a good time for glitter foof?)

[iggypiggy]

scropy the colposcopy was not too bad actually... didn't hurt. Worst bit - as I haz been boring about before - was teh Dr talking about my dad - like I want to think about him while some bloke has a camera and some hardware up there... Think they just take some samples and send it off. bleeds a little bit after... but is really ok.

[Ocarina]

Owch, scorps, glad that's over. Have no idea what a colposcopy is and think ignorance it probably best. Especially given what Curly's just said....

Cho, tis a lovely place really, tis making me relive my not-so-misspent youth

I wonder whether the whole giving things up for allergies thing is different to the giving up alcohol when pregnant thing because the effects are presumably more obvious - I can see how you find the motivation to give up even the yummiest of things if they make you feel so much less shit in the relatively short term, whereas you won't see the impact of downing a bottle of vodka a day when pregnant until after the poor kid's born. (Not that I'm suggesting anyone here's downing that much alcohol, pregnant or not, was going for the extreme). So it possibly requires a different kind of mentality about the whole thing (whether that's not drinking at all, or cutting down or whatever).

[CurlyCasper]

And scorps while it defo isn't bad at all. I too cried like a four-year-old who's scared of the bogeyman when I was told I had to have one. More fear of the unknown/being broken than anything else.

My one warning is, and it might be different for you, that here the Colposcopy clinic is, rather insensitively, in the ante-natal ward. So while I was sitting wondering if I might have a potentially fertility-breaking condition, I was surrounded by pregnant 15-year-olds. It made me furious, which is not good considering my usual mode when scared and in hospital is to turn into angry, defensive beast.

[CurlyCasper]

punctuation gone haywire again

[RunLyraRun]

Scorps I have had colposcopy too, years ago, because before the introduction of LBC (the little bottle brush things - blee) they could never get an adequate sample from a smear. It wasn't the most fun I've ever had but it was really OK (and I'm a full-on flower).

[iggypiggy]

cas did you get to see it on tv? I did - was well exciting

Incidentally - I had colposcopy cos of cervical erosion - due to being on pill... so I had the cells sealed. The samples were just cos they felt liek it I reckon...

[CurlyCasper]

really didn't want to scare anyone. A basic colposcopy is just taking a look - nothing should actually touch the cervix.

When they take a sample it's a light scraping. Only if there is a problem to be further investigated or treatment needed will any cone biopsy, laser or Lletz action be required. And none of that goes beyond a wee bit uncomfortable/bleedy. I only had a scary experience because I was not told what to expect afterwards. Ignorance was not bliss.

Clearly, if I was as fortunate as iggster I would have seen the silver going up there, and therefore expected it to come out! No, I just had posters of exotic far away places to fixate upon.

[CurlyCasper]

Eadcase yup, I do believe that last time I recalled that tale there were references to crossing cuntshine's palm with silver

[ginhag]

[proudface]

I done said a funny thing...about 27 threads ago...