Emmsys Weebles - the one where we insulate the greenhouse & pass round the mulled wine

[CloudOfStarlings]

A new wintery thread :)

Thanks cloud .

I now have a poorly dd2 in bed with me. Got to get up in half an hour for school run . Considering taking her to hospital this morning as her breathing is rubbish.

Well done cloud I stupidly got a bit emotional seeing a new thread, the last one was the thread with my little boy's journey on it, silly huh.

Thank you girls for your words of wisdom and for making me feel loads better. I just never appreciated how hard it would actually be, and how you all managed it with a toddler in tow I have no idea! You are all right in saying that I will soon look back and wish we had the early days back again, and where neeko said about breastfeeding in the small hours when its just you and them and the rest of the world sleeps. There are some magical times, and I am loving them all, even when I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, but it just takes a little smile from j and I remember why I wanted this in the first place. mls you are probably right about us having higher expectations of being mummies when we've waited so long, I think I had this perfect ideal in my head and obviously it doesn't work like that!

lbm I've tried to go to bed early but that doesn't work as he seems to feed more in the evenings/night, I think we'll have to try everything and see what works. I smiled when you said expect work to feel much less important - I'm sure it will do, I already said to one of my friends there I'll be a bugger when I get back as I won't give a crap How was it for you going back after 5 months with your ds? How did you manage everything?

neeko yes expressing is a total faff! And I too chucked away loads in the early days when he wouldn't entertain a bottle. I'm not too precious about breastfeeding - I thought I was, but tbh I've done a month now and feel like if I had to stop then I wouldn't feel too bad about it. I will keep going for longer yet, at least while I'm off work, but wouldn't be adverse to introducing formula as well as breastfeeding. For us though, its about the cost too, as obviously breast milk is free and with dh not working and me on maternity leave it makes sense.

mls bloody hell, after all you've just been through and you're looking after poorly babies, without dh, you certainly are supermum!

Will look into a sling as you've all mentioned, this sounds like a brilliant idea.

cloud so sorry to hear about your friend, and a heartless doctor is just crap. She is lucky to have you to support her. (Off the subject a bit but when I had my mmc, I had medical management, the doctor gave me the tablets and said dinner is served - what a total dick!).

J got weighed again today, 11oz in 6 days! No wonder he feels heavy!

Must go, thanks again for all your support

Gah! moon that is horrible what that doc said! Idiot! When I went in for the med management one doc came in & said 'so this is an unwanted pregnancy then?' I'll never forget that! All he had to do was look at my notes right in front of him!
Thankfully my friend called hosp today & begged to be seen earlier than 2 wks time ..they had her back in today & have given her the first lot of pills now. She asked to not see the bitch doc & apparently the epu staff were literally hiding her from the doc, ha!
Glad it will be over much sooner for her anyway.
mls hope dd2 is ok?
And moon keep up the good work lady.
Also sabs a belated Eid Mubarak to you! (is that what you say? Sorry if not!)

moon ahh, the feeding all evening baby - yup had one of them too. My dd1 used to do that. I found the best solution was to lie on the settee with her latched on watching telly until one of us fell asleep - normally DH used to wake me up and tell me to go to bed as she was asleep! And I too loved my close sling. Am pretty certain that I've sold it recently or I would send it to you.
I went back to work after 5 months with all 3 of mine which was fine. Like you I didn't have much of a choice as mines the main salary which made it easier as it was a necessity rather than a choice iyswim. The thought of going back was so much harder than the reality - going back was fine, warm coffee, lunch without interruptions and a chance to talk about something other than babies but you have to remember that I will always look for a sunny side. Is you dh looking after your DS? Mine went to nursery which was another challenge as I had to get used to everything, routines etc. The worst return to work was the last time, BB was just 5 months, the older 2, 5 and 7, we had no childcare other than nursery, so older two needed feeding, help with homework etc as soon as I got in and I was out at work for between 10 and 12 hours a day. I remember getting home on my first night, making tea, getting kids to bed, next nights meal made and just crying as I thought it was going to be impossible but it wasn't and it's not. Children grow, your standards fall even lower than you ever felt possible but you survive and the best part of going to work is the coming home afterwards. When you get to nursery or home and that small, precious bundle of joy is just so pleased to see you that they laugh, giggle and won't let go. Honestly, it makes going to work worthwhile! You will survive, more than that, you'll thrive - being a working mum is a new challenge but as you now know you can make babies, there really should be no stopping you

Well done on the new thread cloud! Very sorry to hear about your friend

Mls hope DD2 is better and you didn't end up back at hospital?

Moon echo everyone, yes,it can be a shock to the system to realise the precious newborn phase is all encompassing, but just go with the flow and embrace it, as it really is gone in the blink of an eye, all those months of pregnancy and years of yearning, in comparison, to literally a matter of weeks where this little person relies on you 24/7, are gone in the blink of an eye! I remember with Summer, making a point of not saying 'I can't wait til she's sitting/crawling/walking/talking' as I didn't want her to grow to quick, and to just savour every longed for second! The saying 'they grow up so fast' is sooooo true.. Suddenly Teddy is no longer this precious, as blue beautifully put it, 'comma shaped' newborn, and is turning into a sturdy strong wriggly baby attempting to roll over, sit upright, and will before I know it be crawling! Just go easy with yourself, forget your usual routine of getting dressed, regular mealtimes, tv, enjoy pj & duvet days, easy meals and snacks, sky +, and yes, for those early weeks, baby does rule you, within a couple months tops, you will find your routine, gently and naturally.. Hope that was vaguely coherent, been up practically every hour, first Summer in with us, then a feed, then a coughing fit, then tummy ache and a huge poo and bum change, followed by another feed! Though, fear not moon many nights he mainly sleeps through with just one feed about 4ish! Just been dealing with us all having this horrid viral thing the last couple weeks!

Sorry for being a bit hit and miss, mainly for above reason of poorly babies, and Summer starting school, we are now on the full 3hrs every afternoon after 2wks of early pick ups due to tears when i left and trouble settling into routine of 'mat/learning time' sitting still & the whole structure, but bless her, she's made huge progress and despite that, from the get go, has consistently excitedly got ready every day and skipped along to school and run through the gates, bless her! All despite being poorly too! Shock to my system, finding new routine, getting up, dressed and out by 11.40am every day after 3yrs of doing our own thing at our leisure! I'm enjoying it though! So, that, and illness, have been combined with dealing with losing Dddh's Dddgrandad, and the funeral was finally yesterday, didn't realise til last night how much it had been all hanging over us, and how needed it was to lay him to rest, to find peace with it all, it was quite overwhelming... Feels like alots been on hold, now we can raise a glass and remember with a smile, very sad he never got to meet Teddy, but he had his picture on his table next to him, and had said how much he loved him

Moon glad you feel a little better. How are the stitches feeling?

LBM lovely poignant post from you as usual.

Cloud hope your poor friend is ok.

4ever I had to have a little chuckle at you having to be out of the house at 11.40! May I suggest you all sleep in your clothes next year when your dd starts big school & you have to be out of the door at 8.30, heehee!

Well I did take dd2 to hospital yesterday morning, what a blummin nightmare too. I had her & ds there with me from 10am. We had to go to a ward in the afternoon where thankfully they both had a sleep & I finally got to have a sandwich. Then she had to have a chest x ray where they picked up an infection. We finally got to go to the playroom 20 mins before it closed! Then at 5pm when ds was in danger of imploding, one of my friends came & took him to her house. We were finally discharged at 8pm last night. She's got a second lot of anti-b's to take, steroids & 8 inhaler puffs every 4 hrs, even through the night. She had a major tantrum at 11pm last night & ended up sleeping (well coughing actually) all night with us. I think my body has gone back to newborn mode & I'm now used to getting no sleep!!

just marking my place know im rubbish and rarely post but do think of you all still. Still ttc number 2, number 1 is becoming a worry 2 years 4 months nearly and very little speech taking him to dr's tomorrow about it :(

BQ sending a big hug. It's not uncommon for children to not start talking until they are around three & then they quite often start talking in sentences.

Thanks for the thread cloud. Thinking of your friend .

Moon glad you are feeling a wee bit better. I also totally underestimated how hard parenting was before I had my own. It sounds like you are sensible and realistic though. Right now your son only needs to be clean, fed and loved.

As for the feeding: I think it helps not to over think it. It's perfectly possible to mix feed at any point. Just do what feels right at the time and try not to overanalyse. (Wish I could take my own advice here )

BQ lovely to hear from you but sorry you are having it tough ATM. Hope the doc can reassure you. My best friend's son also said very little until he started nursery. Now he won't be quiet!

LBM I love how pragmatic you are about being a mum. You acknowledge how hard it is then get on with it. Hope all is well with you all.

MLS hope everyone's healthy again at your house again.

4ever sorry you've been feeling it tough. Hope it's all on the way up again. I must confess to having a little smile at the time you have to be ready by too but I'll bet you are all still on the go later in the evening than we are .

Nothing much to report here. Having a lovely week off. Stayed away last night and have been to a theme park and the zoo. It's been raining but we're too used to it to let it spoil our fun . DH has been off since Tuesday night. So lovely to have family time
and a film for us tonight I think.

Oh and moon I still have the thread where DD2 was born on my watch list. Can't quite allow myself to delete it!

Moon look at this site:

www.herbalbaybee.co.uk/index.htm

I have one of the leopard fleece pouches if you want it? I had it with dd2 & it was great. I couldn't use it with ds as he was born during a particularly hot May & would have melted! Anyway if you want it inbox me & I'll gladly post it to you. I'm not sure of the exact size but I think we are a similar size?

Neeko no we are most definitely not all well! Ds now has a sky high temp & half an hour ago he pebble-dashed his bedroom with vomit!

Hi bq! Lovely to see you! Sorry to hear you're still having trouble ttc #2, but WOW I can't believe your ds is 2y4m!! How did that happen?? Hope the doc is able to reassure you about the speech. My brother and one of my cousins didn't talk til they were 3 and then suddenly it all came out!

lbm I agree you are very wise! Oh and happy birthday ...it is today right? I only remember cos mine was yesterday...(and rumours happy birthday to your ds1 for yesterday too!!)

mls :( boo to being stuck in hospital that long...hope all your little brood are ok now.

moon hope you're doing ok...thing is nobody can ever really prepare you for what it will be like...you've read all our stories on here & still didn't really expect it, it's a shock to the system but I agree with whoever said around the 3 month mark you start to feel much more confident, slightly coming out of the tired haze and can start to really enjoy it all :) hope everything with work isn't stressing you too much.

4ever glad dd is enjoying school...and wow to ds starting to be on the move mad how fast it goes. I think we need new pics of him please!! :)

cloud your memory is amazing! you remember every year and every year, I think that i'll remember your birthday and I never do.
hope you had a lovely day yesterday [

Settles in. Is it too early for the mulled wine?

It's never too early rumours! We've already drank three bottles of Christmas wine, a bottle of port & a bottle of brandy oops, I blame dh!

ive already started on the baileys. It was an unopened bottle I found when decluttering so that was my reward

Moon are you ok??

I'm ok but we're struggling a bit, don't have time to post properly now, but we're having trouble getting him to sleep, especially in his moses basket, he screams blue murder in there. We've tried everything we can think of. Its our own fault for cuddling him to sleep all the time I guess. Dh and I are so stressed out about it and its upsets me to hear J crying his eyes out. Out of desperation we tried putting him to sleep on his front in the day time and he sleeps so much better (although still not in his moses basket) but daren't do that at night time even though we do have a breathing/movement monitor. I don't know what to do, we're both so tired and I feel like the world's worst mum. Will try to get back to explain more when I have time. Sorry to post and run.

moooooon fgs you are not the worlds worst mum!!! You are doing fantastically well. This is part & parcel of what it's all about. It's horrible but the early days are really really hard. You have to do whatever you've got to do to get you through the day & night. I ended up spending the early weeks with ds (which ended up being months!) co-sleeping. I know blue did that too. He just wouldn't settle in his basket. He'd lull me into a false sense of security by drifting off for about 10 minutes & then sure enough I'd start to hear the basket creaking & he'd be starting to kick & wake up. I think with ds I used to lay him on top of a soft blanket to sleep, I'd pick him up to feed him in the night still on the blanket & put him & the blanket back in the basket when he was fed. That way there wasn't too much of a temperature change. Oh & he used to be swaddled with one arm out. Also neeko used to be up every night with dd2 in her buggy in the kitchen with the extractor fan on to get some sleep!!! We all do what we have to do otherwise we'd end up in the loony bin, now you can see how sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture - it really is tortuous.

Remember I still have that fleece sling if you want it, you are more than welcome to it.

{{{{{ moon }}}}} you are not a bad mum you are a new mum, and weve all been there. The first few weeks are the hardest, as mls has said.
I found with both my boys that they were out of the moses basket quite quick and into their cot, where they seemed happier with more room.
Dont be too hard on yourselves, this is all normal xxxxx

moon my ds2 would only sleep on his tummy.. screamed his head off on his back & would instantly fall asleep when turned over.. I know what u mean about not wanting to put him like that at night though but with a breathing monitor surely it would be fine? Don't beat yourself up for cuddling him to sleep, they need that security! New habits are easily taught at his age, nothing set in stone yet so don't lose heart!

Hope all other ladies ok, half term for us this wk. Hope you all stay safe in this storm that has a rather lovely name

Ps haha love the name change rumours!

Moon No one had more of a pantomime performance at sleep time than us with DD2- and we'd done it all before!! Stop being so hard on yourself. Do whatever works. It WILL get easier. I promise.

Hi to everyone else.

Thank you all for keeping me sane, you girls are lifesavers. Had a better night last night we all got some sleep so feeling a bit better today. Back soon.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Sleep deprivation is the worst thing ever. Don't be daft like I was and run round like an idiot catching up. Store up your energy and keep an emergency chocolate supply in the house at all times. It won't make you less tired but it will improve the day xx