TTC 10+ months Part 13

(999 Posts)
buzzybee123 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:56:10

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

freedom2011 Mon 04-Feb-13 13:13:29

thanks buzzy. thanks fingers crossed for lots more BFPs on this one

rabbitonthemoon Mon 04-Feb-13 13:26:16

Marking place. Work too manic to post and my period pains are rubbish. Mood!

MuddyWellyNelly Mon 04-Feb-13 16:15:31

Thanks Buzzy.

Mrsden sounds like we will likely be going again at roughly the same time as your first cycle. Need another couple of paydays first though!!!

sarlat Mon 04-Feb-13 18:51:29

Lucky thread 13 grin

Gin - can I ask a couple of questions? How did your clinic convince you to do natural rather than medicated fet? Did they discuss sucess rates either way? How will they monitor your ovulation to know when you are 5dpo? I am preparing to present my argument for another natural fet but I am a lone voice. I am very interested as to why medicated is superior which is what they tell me even for regular cycle girls confused thanks x

sarlat Mon 04-Feb-13 18:51:55

Lucky thread 13 grin

Gin - can I ask a couple of questions? How did your clinic convince you to do natural rather than medicated fet? Did they discuss sucess rates either way? How will they monitor your ovulation to know when you are 5dpo? I am preparing to present my argument for another natural fet but I am a lone voice. I am very interested as to why medicated is superior which is what they tell me even for regular cycle girls confused thanks x

ThatWayMadnessLies Mon 04-Feb-13 19:16:33

Getting myself in so I can find you all later. I will be going for first ivf cycle in April mrsden.

Back later!

ThatWayMadnessLies Mon 04-Feb-13 21:55:35

Evening everyone!

Sorry to rabbit for the hectic and uncomfortable day.

buzzy we hadn't really talked through some of these ethical issues to do with embryos should one of us die or be incapacitated. No one wants to think about such horrible things happening and, of course, we all want to just get pregnant without having to have an ethical debate..... I think we'll carry on discussing it over the next few months to be sure that we're happy with everything before we have actually created any embryos.

Hope doll and euro are doing ok.

Thinking of joy and sending lots of chilled out vibes to the embie to settle in for the long haul.

Glad you had a lovely weekend away sar. We went for a big hill walk which was really cold and windy but a great distraction. Getting out of town for a change of scenery is so important during this process. Staying home just encourages me to dwell on things that I cannot change....

Had our first ivf clinic appt today and felt a little bit like we've just hopped onto an nhs conveyor belt. I am so grateful to have this opportunity and to have it funded is a massive gift, but it really was a bit off putting. Poor MrM was a bit overwhelmed trying to keep up with the very fast explanation of all of the blood tests and the ivf process in general. I was ok because I've done so much research and learnt so much from all of you. The clinic was really busy and we kept having to stand around waiting for scanners and rooms to be freed up. As soon as one couple came out, the next was ushered straight in.

Had the lovely dildocam again and she spent ages trying to find my right ovary but never did. Apparently they can be difficult to find when you're on the downregging drugs as they can be quite small. Have a small cyst on the left but not big enough to worry about. No sign of hydrosalpinx. I would have absolutely fecking lost it found it quite difficult if she had suggested that we had to go back in and remove that tube.

On a funny note, MrM said the nurse was trying to sabotage his blood pressure reading by talking about providing a sample when we come for the next appointment. They also asked us to sit in a waiting area that ended up being directly opposite the masturbatoriums blush. Thankfully no one came out while we were sitting there!

AMH results will be back in time for next appointment in mid March and then we'll go ahead with treatment in April.

Wow that was a long post for a Monday night! Here's to a happy week for all and I am already loving our lucky thread number 13 grin

GinSoaked Mon 04-Feb-13 22:03:15

Here's hoping this IS a lucky 13 Fred! We got married on a 13th, so I see it as my lucky no.

Thanks for all the nice words yesterday ladies. It helps lots. Still feeling a bit meh but now I'm back at work post-flu, that's occupying me, so no time to dwell on it all.

rabbits sorry for the shitty period. I want some of mrsd's pain-free kind!

sar my clinic just kind of decided it'd be a natural FET! She said as my cycles are normal, they'd do that and I was like phew, no more injections. They didn't discuss success rates of natural vs medicated but said it'd be about 50% for my FET. But create's unique selling point is that they do things naturally/with minimal drugs. I'd have been v disappointed if they'd suggested medicated. Having said that, I will be on cyclogest after the lh surge and aspirin (I refused clexane).

To catch ovulation, I have a scan on cd 8 and the scans from then on until ov, I think. The info they have given me says there'd be another on day 10, so maybe every few days? From day 8 I also have to pee on opks twice a day until I catch the lh surge and the ET is then booked for 8 days from that day, including the day - our frostie is a day 6 one. I'm not entirely sure how the scans and pee sticks fit together, but guess they check womb lining etc at the scans. They did say they sometimes ask people to do trigger shots, but hopefully I won't need that.

Create is open all the time, so they can be really flexible with stuff like ET timing, which I think helps with natural cycle. It's also a shit load more expensive than the NHS, so I would expect scans etc for my £1k.

How does this compare with your last FET?!

Sorry that's probably boring reading for everyone else.

Hope the ladies with embryos onboard are doing ok. euro if you're on cyclogest, your symptoms will be different, so try not to worry if you can <watch me totally menkul out during the FET>

mrsd I need to ask you about the genetic tests. We've had CF, but that's it, no sperm frag etc, although I don't know that there's any point really now.

Right, need sleep. Stupid post flu knackeredness. Waves to everyone.

GinSoaked Mon 04-Feb-13 22:05:03

X post mad. Pleased the appt all went ok!

EuroShagmore Mon 04-Feb-13 22:06:35

buzzy we didn't talk it through either. WE both filled out our forms according to our own conscience and the notes say that basically a lack of consent will trump a consent, so we understood that. Where we hadn't agreed on certain things, King's made us change them so they matched. That's not what the forms say, but the outcome is the same, so we went along with it.

Madness I don't think either of us had our blood pressure taken until I had mine done at EC. Mr Euro hasn't had his tested at all.

I think all clinics are a bit of a conveyor, tbh. We were one in, one out for EC and ET. It tends to be efficient for them to do al similar procedures (consulatation, scan, EC, ET) one after the other.

ThatWayMadnessLies Mon 04-Feb-13 22:50:11

euro I think it was because we had finally built up a relationship with my consultant for all the endo stuff that it was a bit off putting to go in to see a other new face today. Once we have a relationship with this one I'm sure it will feel more personal. They did blood pressure, height and weight for us both as hadn't been checked since our initial consultation in 2011. Can't believe that it's been that long since our first fertility appointment!!

MuddyWellyNelly Mon 04-Feb-13 23:36:20

Madness I am sure the NHS feels quite clinical (pun not intended) but in our post wedding financial emptiness, I am really really wishing I had an NHS cycle coming up! It will be fine. To be honest I am getting the impression that the stats and protocols and drug regimes make much difference to the end results. You'll get what you get, I think. So if it's on offer for free, take it!!

Doll and Euro not even sure I said hooray for embies on the last thread. Keeping everything so tightly crossed for you both.

All this ethical chat has made me feel quite negligent. We had a quick read at our appointment and made snap decisions. No conscience here, I don't think. The only thing that went through my head as we went through them was as follows "so if I go under a bus, MrN can mourn for a bit then find a new younger replacement and happily have kids, but if HE goes under a bus, I've completely lost any chance I have of children, what with being ancient and all. Now, how would I broach that subject, and suggest we freeze some of his swimmers?" grin. <shallow>.

Hmm now I worry that I might seem like I'm trivialising the potentially very difficult choices to be made. I'm not at all. I guess we just felt there was quite enough to get stressed about what with the low AMH and the cost and the never getting pregnant, so we chose not to stress about this part. Head in sand, perhaps.

Rubbish catch up, but it's far too late for starting a MN post. Internet also been a bit iffy so will post now. Trying not to spend overly long on MN just now as I'm enjoying hobbling and knitting (a weird combo) and failing trying to retain the Relaxed vibe I had when on honeymoon. Though brown spotting on CD17 doesn't help.

MuddyWellyNelly Mon 04-Feb-13 23:37:17

*don't make much difference is of course what I meant to type!

EuroShagmore Tue 05-Feb-13 09:41:42

Nelly I felt quite instinctively that I knew how I wanted to answer (eg: yes to research on eggs, no to research on embryos) so I just followed my instincts. We didn't agonise over them or even given them a lot of thought. I don't think that's trivialising them. Different folks take different approaches. My friend with the IVF babies agonises over every decision. I can remember her cancelling nights out to go home and talk about mortgages for the nth time with her husband. I bet they had a huge discussion about the ethical issues. We are just not like that.

buzzybee123 Tue 05-Feb-13 10:22:56

it was madnes who asked for peoples opinions on what to do etc, Barry and I have similar thoughts and opinions on most things so its not something that we are worried about at this stage, we have already discussed wills and death etc, as in my job I have seen to much ugliness when these things have not been sorted out beforehand. I don't think people really know how they feel about these things until they actually happen.

buzzybee123 Tue 05-Feb-13 19:22:45

very quiet on here today...................

ThatWayMadnessLies Tue 05-Feb-13 19:33:33

It was me who asked about people's opinions. We just sat down to fill out this sheaf of forms on Sunday night and they were a bit more difficult to get my head around than I had expected. We have settled on our choices and I'm okay with it.

gin hope your energy levels are coming back up to normal.

nelly I hope I didn't sound ungrateful for nhs care. The doctor said that there were three clinics going on at once so it was just really busy and a bit overwhelming. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that we get this chance. The savings may still go on future attempts but being able to see how I respond and perhaps identify other areas where we should do tests will be great and maybe make future cycles more likely to succeed--but of course it will work first time--. I wish that none of us had to pay a fortune to have a family.

Went back to the personal trainer tonight and now I am off for a hot bath. I am sooooo sore already. Tomorrow will be brutal.

Big waves to everyone and sorry for not doing a good job of name checking.

ThatWayMadnessLies Tue 05-Feb-13 19:34:43

Darn. Strikethrough fail.......

akuabadoll Tue 05-Feb-13 19:51:40

madness you should come here. No forms! Jez I can't believe the things you have to think about blush Well done you for cracking on.

Oh, hello all on the shiny new fred smile

EuroShagmore Tue 05-Feb-13 20:22:03

madness/buzz I know it was madness who brought it up originally, but buzzy replied at the end of the last thread, and I was just replying to the last person who contributed to the conversation. smile

doll the forms are compulsory here due to the HFEA. I guess it is sensible to have to agree on these things before a potential marital breakdown or bereavement or something. The child protection ones are the ones I object to. You don't have to pass any test to be declared fit to have a child if you are fertile, but you do if you are fertility-challenged. Harrumph. How are you doing? I had some slight scratchy womb feelings last night, but nothing different to what I feel pretty much every cycle. I really don't feel like this is our cycle.

I am in a right grump. Have been all day. I think the progesterone is giving me throughout-the-2ww-PMT. Brilliant.

buzzybee123 Tue 05-Feb-13 21:00:46

euro a 'friend' of mine kept a record of her cycles and kept going on how each cycle was the same so her BFP was a big surprise as it was the same as all the other ones.

akuabadoll Wed 06-Feb-13 05:03:32

euro children protection questions, what now? Blimey. In my first IVF I signed a consent form for the EC on my way in to the op room (no idea what was on it as no effort was made to let me read it) and lets face it I had no underwear on by this stage. This time they had me sit on the slab I reminded them I hadn't signed then they made me lay down I reminded them I hadn't signed They put the iv in I reminded them I hadn't signed I finally 'signed' the bloody thing with my legs up, chilly chuff and iv in same hand. <sigh> I have missed out plenty of descriptions of the location specific delights this time, it's just too depressing. As for the forms you guys face, in the end it doesn't apply to me as we fail to make enough embies in worry about these things.

I'm sorry you are in a grump, I would have replied last night if I hadn't fallen asleep on the sofa at 10.30 pm as usual, once again to be up in the early hours. It's such a drag. I'm afraid I can't really tell you what's up with me and I wouldn't know scratchy womb feelings if they came to bite me on the ass. I feel different from the last IVF cycle despite the fact that the drugs are the same. I don't feel I can tell effects of drugs in isolation to what else my body is doing. I've had very mild pain just above the pubic bone since the ET, on and off, which doesn't seem like a good thing try to block 'bad transfer' annoyed womb a la sar out of my mind

euro Did you feel more positive directly after the transfer? I guess it's likely your feelings will bounce around a bit during the 2ww. Almost half way now, already.

I'm counting the days even though they are busy and full of other issues, work, looking after Little Doll and dealing with issues about our near future which is still a big fat question mark and has been dragging on for months. I'm also counting the days to a TTC free life after this IVF and trying to explore how that will play out.

gin how are you feeling now? I wanted to write about your comments on the last fred, I'm sorry you have been feeling low, it's a long road isn't it. You are making the right choices though, just have to keep going.

Damn sorry me me me and I'm off, others awake in the flat now, have to go.

Have a good Wednesday all. x

Poutintrout Wed 06-Feb-13 10:25:18

Thanks buzzy for the shiney new thread.

madness I'm sorry that you feel like you're on an IVF conveyor belt. I was thinking about what you said and feel quite lucky that I haven't got that impression at my hospital at all. In fact I did wonder how many ladies were doing their treatment at the same time as me because it all seems really quite relaxed.

nelly we were like you when it came to filling out the forms -and filled them out ten minutes before we left the house for the appointment-- I was surprised that MrP wanted me to tick the box allowing me to use our embryos in the event of his death or incapacitation I resisted the urge to make some dig about how his mum would probably want to carry the embryo herself
I think like you we are so overwhelmed by the immediate issues. Am I the only one who is a bit surprised at the lack of meaningful discussion about the treatment and the lack of vetting? Nobody has even asked us how long we have been together and were surprised to learn that we were married.

doll you made me laugh at the cold chuff comment grin I so hope that the strange pain is a good sign for you. I hadn't even considered bad transfers. I just assumed that a bad transfer is dropping the things. Maybe ignorance is bliss.

euro sorry you are grumpy. It must be an up and down time emotionally.

gin I hope you are feeling better. I think that anything on top of TTC knocks us for six a bit.

lemons how did your appointment go?

My drugs have arrived and I was a bit surprised by how much of it there is. Two fairly big boxes I was not expecting. I was also not expecting to feel so repulsed by it all. I can't explain it but I don't want to look at the stuff and can't believe that it has some to this. Still I have a new handbag - there was a "fertility bag" in the consignment confused
MrP was also very, very happy with the cold packs. Well that makes all this worthwhile then doesn't it hmm

Waves to sar and buzzy

EuroShagmore Wed 06-Feb-13 10:57:55

doll I know what you mean about the chilly chuff. The theatre was arctic for ET and there was a breeze blowing directly up there. confused I guess some things are the same where you and here! We have to fill out the forms even though the are only aiming to collect one egg from us and most of the ethical issues could not arise.

I'm not sure that I did feel more positive after transfer. When the drs went out and left us in the theatre alone with a little print out of the embie being shot into my womb, I said rather wryly, "I give it less than a week before my killer womb rips it apart". I'm sure the pessamism is self-protection. I don't want a crushing disappointment next week. I hope the strange pain is a good sign for you. The scratchy feeling is not encouraging for me, because I have had it so many times before. Does it mean that all those times there has been an embie in there trying to do something? Or is it completely unrelated? I'll never know. I had it again this morning. I'm trying to note what I feel on FF and not menkul too much. Obviously it isn't working that well.

We are exactly halfway now - EC a week ago, official test date next Wednesday. Time is not exactly flying by. I should be busy with work but am struggling to get my head into it.

pout almost a year ago, I had the same reaction. Mr Euro had to try to hide the fridge drugs behind some salad hmm and the rest elsewhere in the house. We tried to cancel the delivery before they came but they turned up almost as soon as we were awake, so hiding them was the best we could manage.

<waves to all>

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