It was Sam's funeral today - it was unbelievably painful. To bury my perfect boy just seems so unreal and was just so hard, he weighed 4lbs and was born at 33.5 weeks, my husband carried his coffin- it was tiny.
I keep thinking about what ifs all the time- he only lived for one day, it's all just so bloody unfair! I'm a very private person normally but I've literally stripped myself bare in front of close family and friends and I just feel so utterly exhausted.
My body is broken following major blood loss and a c section, my mind is broken from grief, I'm on maternity leave with no baby and the sunny weather is bringing out everyone with a pram!
I can't even console myself that one day I could have another child as I'm 41 with fertility problems and I've now had two major surgeries on my womb- it's all so very very bleak.
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Bereavement
My babies funeral
102 replies
Applemuncher · 09/05/2016 19:17
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