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DH's female best friend from Uni has been staying with us weeknights now for 3 months after relocating back to London with a new job (she's supposed to be looking for a flat of her own but hasn't started yet). We both invited her to stay and generally I get on just fine with her. However, her new job involves lots of corp entertaining events and she's invited my husband along to a few evening drinks with her, mostly car themed stuff as he's a car nut. There's another one tomorrow and I'm invited too, but don't want to go as a: I'm in 3rd trim of DD2 so can't drink and can't stand on my feet making small talk for a couple of hours and b: I find cars unutterably tedious. A teensy niggly part of my wants her to fuck off and stop using my husband as an escort on these 'dos'. Mostly because she's very promiscuous (several new men a month) and slept with all her other male friends from Uni at some point or other (DH is adamant this does not apply in his case) and also because am feeling like I am very socially dull at the mo, (the end of pregnancy is so boring and knackering) but still not at all ready for someone else to step forward into my shoes on the social scene. I know DH would rather be out with me but I just wish there was some bloke for him to go with instead. AIBU to want her to stop inviting him to stuff and bugger off back into her own life?

YANBU. I would not like this. At all.

I know you will probably get told that he is old enough to make his own decisions and its up to him if he wants to go BUT
YANBU as you are pregnant!

And three months is frankly far too long to loiter in someone's house - how long have you got left with the pg ?

I would be making noises and having a word with him. More to the point does HE think YABU ?

That is a bizarre situation and I think I would be calling a stop to all very soon. Experience says that is a sure recipe for trouble.

YANBU,I can't believe she's been with you 3 months and doesn't feel incredibly guilty about imposing when you're pregnant. Any chance you can chat to your DH, not in a 'stop going places with her' way but just to see if he can encourage her to speed up the flat hunt as you need your space back with the baby on the way etc. That way you don't come across as jealous and needy but once she's moved out she will most likely stop assuming he's always available to escort her to these dos. Sounds like they both need to be a bit more sensitive to your needs.

Sounds to me like she has overstayed her welcome. You have a baby on the way, she needs to move out and stop treating your DH like her own.

YANBU. It's a bit wrong of her to keep asking him, I think, especially when she knows you'll be sitting at home on your own feeling --crappy and bloated-- bleugh and pregnant. I'd be cross.

I don't think you're beng unreasonable, but may be being a little touchy. She's made a big move and is relying on her best friend while she finds her feet. If she was a man, do you thin you'd be feeling the same way?

However, I can understand why you would be a bit touchy given as it sounds like you don't 100% trust her around DH. I also think that she's being rather cheeky in still staying with you when you're so very expectant.

Might be worth having a chat with DH to let him know that you need your own space as an expecant family and to start encouraging her to get looking for her own pad.

Is there any harm in him going out at the moment though if it's strictly platonic? His social life is going to be seriously curtailed in a few month's time anyway.

Hopefully once she gets her own place and starts making a larger circle of friends, she'll rely less on your DH. And you and he will both be rather busy anyway once your DC arrives Mind you, I'd make sure to rope her in for plenty of babysitting so that you and DH can go out on the town whenyour baby arrives. Good luck

THREE MONTHS?! & now borrowing your DH...she's taking liberties...or you've got the next 'Single White Female' staying in your house.

YADNBU that doesn't sound like a good thing tbh. I agree with NWJI about 3 months being too long too. When do you want her to move out - and when is she planning to start looking for a flat?

I'm in my 3rd trimester too and would def be having words with DH if he was going for nights out with a promiscuous female BF.

YANBU. But to be honest, if it was a male BF I would be feeling more than a taad pissed off in your position. It's one thing to offer someone a place to stay when they are in need, it is quite another for that person to then take the piss and overstay their welcome.

I loev teh expression "of an evening" its so west midlandy

You already have a child, about to have a 2nd- she's been staying at yours for THREE MONTHS and hasn't even started looking for a place yet????
She is taking the piss. I don't know how you're handling it- I'd get fed up if it was one of my friends living with me for that long.

Get your DH to give her some estate agents details presto- otherwise she'll still be living with you when your DD2 is born!!!!

PS I hope she's contributing to the cooking, cleaning etc

is he shagging her?

I wouldn't be happy with this. I think she's being insensitive, and has over stayed her welcome.

I'd perhaps let your DH go out tomorrow, then ask her to babysit the follwoing night so you can have a romantic dinner together. Then ask her to babysit a few nights later, then a few nights after that, then twice at the weekend. She'll get the message...

oh where IS THE OP

I wouldnt trust her

I would not be happy at all, you have been mre than tolerant.
Tel her to piss off

Oh, am liking LeQueen's suggestion of getting her to babysit - the message will definitely sink in.

DanDruff - probably gone to Tesco

LOL not shagging her DanDruff, but wouldn't put it past her to offer (in fact I know she has, several times!

And she does babysit once a week so he & I can go out together, which is appreciated.

And I don't resent DH for wanting to go out from time to time - just because I'm marooned in an ocean of pregnant tummy doesn't mean he has to be a social pariah (sp?) - I know I wouldn't mind if it was a male friend inviting him to this stuff.

I don't even mind that she's here whilst I'm preggers - 12 weeks to go so it's not as if anything interesting is going to happen imminently.

I just don't like DH & her going out as a duo on anything less than a VERY infrequent basis (annually is perfectly often enough, I think) and I want to see some action on the flat-hunting stakes so I know there's an end date to this arrangement. Sigh.

OP - at the end of Oct you said she'd been there 3 weeks and you were thinking of asking her to pay rent - did you?

Your DH sounds like an arse - gave his sister £1200 although you are skint and has started on the fags again (according to your previous threads)

Re your houseguest who "slept with all her other male friends from Uni at some point or other" - she either already shagged your DH or he is on her to-do list

Phone all the estate agents up pretending to be her. Tell them what you/she needs 2 bed etc and get them to send her loads of details

Yes i agree with LeQueen

Nope, I wouldn't be happy with this at all. I just don't think having a permanant third adult around is a good idea for any relationship / marriage.