..to be really upset that they laughed at my baby's name?

[Mimi28]

Hello everyone,

I'm 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I've been lurking on Mumsnet for a few weeks now, but I'm braving a post because I need outside opinions, and I really appreciate all help given.

Cutting a very long story as short as I can, I've had a strained relationship with my family since I was a kid, especially my mother, but I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible.

Last night my mother rang me, told me how great she's getting on with her new DP, etc etc, also spoke to my sister who lives at home. They asked after my baby, any names picked etc and when I told them they fell around laughing, then laughed riotiously at how the name would sound with my DP's name (he's a student from the Middle East). Now, I personally dont see how the name Solomon can be such a joke. I also dont see why they had to be so rude to a pregnant woman, even if she is family.

My sister works in the local jobcentre, and 5 minutes beforehand she had berated dole claimants, immigrants etc when I asked her how work was, and I bit my lip so as not to cause a fight. I have almost 8 years of university behind me, but haven't been able to find any work at all since graduating last Christmas. I'm in chronic debt, and it kills me to have to sign on just to keep going - and she KNOWS this.

I'm sorry, I dont think this post is making much sense ...basically, I want to cut contact with my family, but want to make sure its not just my hormones. This baby was a big surprise, and as scared as I am about money, I absolutely adore him already. EVERYTHING that I have ever loved or achieved as been desecrated or destroyed by one family member or another - birthdays, graduations, relationships, you name it - and I just don't need this crap any more, life is hard enough.

AIBU?? Thanks girls.

[TootaLaFruit]

YANBU - laughing at a baby's name is very inconsiderate, especially from family members. Sounds to me like you have a lot of 'family issues' so maybe contemplating cutting them off is the best thing? However, I wouldn't use the baby name thing as the reason for it, as they'll just throw it back in your face and make you look like you're making a fuss out of nothing.
Hope it works out for you, and for what its worth, I really Solomon.

[TootaLaFruit]

Really LIKE Solomon

[Tidey]

It sounds like them laughing at your baby's name is the final straw, rather than the cause of how you feel. If they are constantly belittling you about work, money, your relationship etc, and then mock something like your chosen name whilst you are pregnant, of course you're going to reach the end of your tether with them. Could you try explaining that your feelings are somewhat fragile and they need to start acting with some compassion and consideration? If they continue to disregard your feelings after that, I wouldn't blame you if you did stop contacting them.

[Stigaloid]

You are being hormonal. Cutting off contact because they laughed at your baby name isn't the best reason TBH. Soloman is a lovely name and when they see the new addition to the family they will love the name all the more.

[fernie3]

YANBU ignore them, there is nothing wrong with the name and in any case its your baby so you call it whatever you want!

[EndangeredSpecies]

you're not BU at all. as you said, you don't need this crap. Relax and just enjoy your LO when he arrives.

[pagwatch]

My DDs first boyfriend ( aged 4 ) was called Solomon. It is a lovely name.

Don't let them upset you about your baby. Tell them they are upsetting you and if they cannot be more supportive just steer away from them for a while

[tinierclanger]

Of course YANBU. They sound utterly undelightful. This is probably not the best time to cut all ties but they need to be told they have been very thoughtless.

Solomon is a lovely name BTW.

[OrmIrian]

YANBU.

I think you would be better of keeping a distance.

[OrmIrian]

BTW it's a nice name. I thought maybe you were going to call him something really daft!

[Fibilou]

I could understand it if you were calling the baby something like Shararaumbongo but Solomon ? It's hardly an odd name.
I would be upset too if I had chosen a vaguely unusual but hardly comic name

[BloodRedTulips]

i like it.... i can imagine a little lad called Sol for short

if your family cause you so much pain i think cutting, or even drastically minimising, contact might be no bad thing. there are lots of women on MN who've done it and i'm sure some of them will turn up and give you some practical advice.

good luck with the pregnacy, try not to let money worries ruin your pregnacy, you'll manage just fine when it comes to it

[gorionine]

yanbu to be upset at them laughing but please do not cut all contact with your family for that.

I agree with Stigaloid, once they'll have seen his little face that will be the only thing that matters, not his name which they will grow to love. I talk from experience as my Dcs have Arabic names due to DH's origin. I had a few raised eyebrows but it did not last!

[Tortington]

fuck 'em. Soloman is a great name.

fwiw - i picked old testament names for both my boys and my inlaws pulled faces at the name Jacob.

but i loved it - so i smiled nodded and remained tight lipped.

then called him Jacob.

fuck 'em

[AnyFucker]

Solomon is a nice name

Not laughable at all

You sound very pissed off with them though, so you are perhaps over-reacting to their (childish) laughing

just ignore them, your baby, you choose the name

[fernie3]

custardo my grandmother was put off by the name Jacob as well which is my sons name. She kept saying it was a "bad" name. I assume there was some reason for this that I sont know but I called him Jacob anyway.

[Tortington]

i dunno - twin to Esau father of joseph - whom he favoured. there is the jacob;s ladder connotation - but i wouldn't call it bad.

[Arwenwasrobbed]

OOOH I love it - sounds like one of those names like Ruby/Seth etc that will just take off- unusual now, but trendy soon

[mumblechum]

I like Solomon.

[NancyBotwin]

Maybe they think of it as a Jewish name and are harbouring anti-semitic feelings?

[StretchOnaRocket]

Solomon is a nice name. There's a boy in DD2s class called Sol.

[Journey]

You need to learn to have confidence in your own decision making. Solomon is a perfectly nice name. However, the issue isn't so much whether the name is nice or not. It is about having the confidence to stick to what you want. If you try to please your family all the time it will be at the detriment of what you want. Have the confidence to use the name if that's what you want. Good luck.

[Mimi28]

Thanks a million ladies,

You're all right, of course - I guess I'm a bit raw, and it feels like the last straw because of it. I had a job interview a few weeks ago and was told by family that it was total 'Star Trek' to think I'd get it (as in dream on because of the pregnancy) and that really upset me too.

Yeah, I was going to kick off, but I think I'll just lay low until the hormones calm down a bit! Roll on 2010...

[Chulita]

I had a dream last night I had twins and they were called Solomon and Josiah...how odd. Love the name, YANBU for being upset.
I told FIL that if we have another girl I'd like to call her Daisy and he pissed himself laughing, said if we did pick that name he'd call her 'moo' cos it's a cow's name. Humpf! I still like the name and if he ever calls my yet to be conceived DD2 'moo' ... ears will be boxed!

[OrmIrian]

Oh mimi - they sound quite poisonous. Enjoy your baby when he comes and try to ignore them.