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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this mum to the police - let my DD ride without a seatbelt

490 replies

YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 19:53

DD (9) attends football and another mum from school (whose DD also is part of the club) offered to take them to football practice after school tonight.

I said yes, and had no reason not to trust her, I'd taken her DD before. I said shall I leave a car seat at school reception - she said no, they have a spare they will bring.

It turns out that not only did they forget the spare car seat, the seatbelt in the back (middle) wasn't working. She was giving another child a lift, meaning 4 children in total (including her 2 DC) were in the car. She made DD, as the oldest, sit in the middle in the back and drove 5 miles with no seatbelt on and no car seat.

I'm absolutely furious. I rang her after DD grassed and she said they were running late and didn't want to call me at work and couldn't think of another way to get to football, and it's '5 miles of quiet road'.

WIBU to report her to the police or should I calm down? I'm so angry, I would not be going to football if this was me, they'd have to skip a week, I can't believe she put my DD at risk.

OP posts:
WarmWinterSun · 08/11/2021 19:55

It would be unreasonable to report this mum to the police.

EmeraldShamrock · 08/11/2021 19:55

I'd be annoyed.
I'm not sure if I would call the police over it.
My DC would never travel with her again.

Nanny0gg · 08/11/2021 19:55

I understand why you're angry, but what do you think the police would do?

Chocolatewheatos · 08/11/2021 19:55

I'd be fuming but I don't think the police would do anything.

Haggisfish3 · 08/11/2021 19:56

I wouldn’t report her but dd wouldn’t be travelling with her again!

elenacampana · 08/11/2021 19:56

I just wouldn’t send my child with her in the car again. I certainly wouldn’t call the police on someone who was doing me a favour.

Take her yourself next time.

PollyPepper · 08/11/2021 19:56

Please don't call the police over this ffs. Just don't let her take your DD again.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 08/11/2021 19:57

If she thought it was so safe why didn’t she put her own child in the middle seat?

I’d be really cross, but I wouldn’t call the police no.

Wondergirl100 · 08/11/2021 19:57

OP please calm down. The police will not be remotely interested and you will hugely sour your relationship with local mums.

She probably thought oh shit I have to get them there and just drove slowly - of course its wrong but not everyone feels as strongly about car seats and belts.

I have a 9 year old and this wouldn't bother me - I would just be glad another parent had got my kids to football and would make a note not to rely on them again. I am not saying you are wrong to be upset but I think you have to just take a deep breath and realise you and this woman don't see this in the same way.

xxxGirlCrushxxx · 08/11/2021 19:57

Police would need proof

If her seatbelt is broken then it will fail MOT

HotPenguin · 08/11/2021 19:58

I was about to say you were over reacting but then I realised there was no seat belt either. At 9 she's probably ok with no car seat, but no seatbelt is pretty bad. I don't think there's any point ringing the police though.

Heavymetaldetector · 08/11/2021 19:58

Just don't let her provide transport again. I definitely wouldn't be trusting her again. But I wouldn't bother reporting this.

MumW · 08/11/2021 19:58

At the very least, I'd not be letting her take my child again and making sure other parents know what happened so that they can make their own decisions.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 08/11/2021 19:59

Don’t call the police. Don’t let your DD ever go in that car again.

ballsdeep · 08/11/2021 19:59

@elenacampana

I just wouldn’t send my child with her in the car again. I certainly wouldn’t call the police on someone who was doing me a favour.

Take her yourself next time.

Absolutely agree. Op you're going way over the top. It wasn't ideal but nothing happened. Just don't let her go with her and take her yourself
CaddieDawg · 08/11/2021 19:59

The police won't be able to do anything about this now, so yabu to report it. Just don't let your DD travel with them again and write it off as a lucky escape.

WorraLiberty · 08/11/2021 20:00

The police aren't going to just take your word for it.

Reporting is pointless after its happened.

Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 20:01

I don't know expect an arrest or anything but a talking to so she doesn't do anything so bloody stupid again!

OP posts:
UpThePodge · 08/11/2021 20:01

I’d be so angry too but the police won’t do anything
Hopefully she won’t do it again , not that I’d be giving her another chance

SummerHouse · 08/11/2021 20:02

She should be reported to the arsehole police.

Actual police, no.

She obviously had no intention of using car seats. You can't with three in the back. If I got caught out with faulty seat belt, I would possibly take the risk for the journey you describe. But with my own child. You can't take a risk with another child without the knowledge of the parent.

cansu · 08/11/2021 20:02

Reporting her to the police is ridiculous and disproportionate. Just don't let your dd go with her again. She tried to help too many people out and got stuck.

Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 20:02

@Wondergirl100 it wouldn't bother you if someone drove your child somewhere without a seatbelt?

Not just no car seat - no seat belt at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
YourFinestPantaloons · 08/11/2021 20:03

It's not the no car seat issue - I would be annoyed she forgot it but that's it

OP posts:
FlaggRF · 08/11/2021 20:03

The police will do absolutely nothing.

Duchess379 · 08/11/2021 20:03

Police will only deal by way of summons to court if they catch her.
Just don't let her drive your kids about anymore..