I've been called a prostitute!!

(277 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

cavkc123 Tue 20-Sep-16 19:42:09

Group of friends, 4 couples, known each other for years, the guys went to school together and we're all in our late 40's

We recently all went away renting a house in France for a long weekend. Some of us manage to see each other fairly often, but it's only generally every couple of years that we all manage to get together at the same

One of the chaps has a new girlfriend who we were all meeting for the first time. I know it's horrid coming into formed friendships, but over the years first wives have come and gone and we're certainly not cliquey.

Now DH and I have a very good standard of living, I don't work, we take several holidays a every year blah blah. On the first evening, the new gf asked what I did for a living and someone laughed and said 'shopping', which we all agreed sounded about right! It was all very light hearted, however the new gf said that in her opinion that was the same as being a legal prostitute ... WTF !! No one knew really what to say, so there was an embarrassed laugh and we changed the subject.

She clearly didn't approve of me being a 'kept woman' and she kept having snipes and digs the whole weekend. I was looking at some shoes in a shop window and she asked if I should ask my husband if I could buy them!

Now I don't have to justify myself to her, but she knows absolutely zero about me or my life ... DH and I started a business together, from absolutely nothing, when our kids were babies. I was actually sat at my desk when I went into labour and I was back there 2 weeks later, baby by my side. We both worked incredibly hard and we sold the business 12 years ago for a sum of money which would enable me to give up work.

Our kids were 11 and 12 and it was a good time for us as a family for me to be a sahm. Fast forward 12 years, the kids have graduated and I'm still here ... We love our life and I know I am very very fortunate ... BUT what a horrid thing to say to someone the first time they've met you ... we were going to invite them all to ours for NY but I'm really not keen any more.

Fwiw any money I spent and will continue to spend will be the money that we earned together!!

AIBU to not want this woman in my home??

Elllicam Tue 20-Sep-16 19:44:27

I wouldn't want her in my house, she sounds like a total bitch. Can you invite the others over?

Cocklodger Tue 20-Sep-16 19:44:34

Yanbu, I'd tell the judgemental Bitch to piss off.
I'm a junior manager, earning under 25k pa. Dh is a CEO with a 6 figure income. I've had similar comments. It amounts to jealousy mostly

Skittlesss Tue 20-Sep-16 19:44:45

Ugh, she sounds would. I bet she's not around for long...

Wishfulmakeupping Tue 20-Sep-16 19:45:04

No she sounds like a judgemental cow- please don't justify yourself to her you're obviously not a 'kept' woman but what business would it be of hers if you were?!
Fuck her don't invite

Skittlesss Tue 20-Sep-16 19:45:12

AWFUL... NOT would

paddypants13 Tue 20-Sep-16 19:45:33

No yanbu. What a callous thing to say. As long as you are not doing anything illegal or immoral (by that I mean hurting other people iyswim), it's none of her business how you live your life.

Sounds like sour grapes from this woman and your other friends.

buttercup54321 Tue 20-Sep-16 19:48:44

She sounds very judgemental' jealous and extremely rude. I would never have her in my house again.

DoYouRememberJustinBobby Tue 20-Sep-16 19:51:39

I'd have her over but the first sign of a word of her disapproval I would loudly, in front of everyone else, make it clear how unwelcome those comments are in your home and how are you are unable to tolerate them. If they persisted I'd ask her to leave and have taxi numbers on stand by.

Why shouldn't you have the rest of your friends over for a celebration because of one rude cow?

Motherfuckers Tue 20-Sep-16 19:54:49

I would also be pissed off at the person who said "shopping". They don't think much of you either. Unless it is true, in which case you don't sound very fortunate to me

ConvincingLiar Tue 20-Sep-16 19:54:49

Can you invite them over and say to him "I'd invite Suzie too, but she clearly disapproves of our domestic set up so I'm not sure she'd feel all that comfortable...". Rude cow.

MoonStar07 Tue 20-Sep-16 19:54:53

YANBU I would not have her in the house BUT you have a great group of friends and might it impact your DH friendship with his friend? Maybe someone needs to have a quiet word with her and she owes you a massive apology! She's obviously got her own shit and issues going on. Good luck!

Trifleorbust Tue 20-Sep-16 19:55:38

Put distance between you and this woman. That is incredibly offensive and she can't expect civil behaviour from you after that.

ChasedByBees Tue 20-Sep-16 19:59:50

What a hideous woman! What did her partner say? Is she intentionally trying to separate him from friends?

acasualobserver Tue 20-Sep-16 20:00:00

I'm usually of the roll-with-the-punches sort of person but, in this case, you are right to feel a bit outraged. You are under no obligation to invite her to your home or, frankly, have anything more to do with her ever again.

ProseccoBitch Tue 20-Sep-16 20:01:30

I wouldn't let her in my home if it was me!

HermioneWeasley Tue 20-Sep-16 20:04:58

She clearly doesn't like you and has been rude. You are under no obligation to invite her into your home or spend any time with her.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Tue 20-Sep-16 20:06:38

Cow would never step foot in my house. Cheeky bitch.

Peanutandphoenix Tue 20-Sep-16 20:06:53

Yanbu she is a judgemental stuck up bitch who needs to get the stick out of her ass your not a kept woman your living off the money that you and your dh worked damn hard to earn sounds like a case of really sour grapes to me.

Hassled Tue 20-Sep-16 20:11:11

Is there someone who could let her boyfriend (your DH's old school friend?) know he needs to give her the background? Because presumably he knows the score - and he should have set her straight at the time. If their relationship looks like it has legs and will last, it's probably worth someone (not you) doing something to salvage the peace, because it sounds like it'd be a shame to let the friendship group crumble because of her.

Topseyt Tue 20-Sep-16 20:11:26

She wouldn't be welcome in my house. I wouldn't hold back on saying that either, and I would make it clear why.

You worked hard for your money and shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone, let alone a judgemental twat like her.

chocolateworshipper Tue 20-Sep-16 20:13:40

Oh I think invite her round once and have fun with it. Keep asking her DP for the money for the services you provided to him the previous evening. Ask her round in the evening and replace your hallway lightbulb with a red one. Every time you get a text during the evening, make a comment about having yet another client. Put a bowl of condoms on your coffee table and discuss how great it is that they are tax-deductible. Every time anyone asks for anything (cup of tea / opinion / pass the salt), say "well let me ask DH first whether he wants sex, as his needs obviously come first." etc etc

cavkc123 Tue 20-Sep-16 20:15:29

I'm not annoyed with the friend who said 'shopping' as it's quite likely something I would have said myself ... but it was all very tongue in cheek ... our friends all know our set up and have been incredibly supportive over the years. We all tease, wind up, laugh and joke with one another all the time .. god we sound like awful people but we're not honest!

It was the first time she'd met any of us and had only met me a hour before she made this comment ... we're all secretly hoping he gets rid, she reminds us all too much of his ex wife.

I was really looking forward to the 8 of us being able to spend NY together, but I know I'lll be on edge around her .... but errrggghh I know I'm going to invite her ... part of me feels like lording it over her whilst she's here, telling her how expensive everything was and how I've just ordered a brand new car ... I wouldn't and I'm not .. but it sounds funny in my head lol

I think we were all so stunned by her comment that the moment had passed before we could think what to say!

I just can't get over how judgemental she was of someone she didn't know!

selavy Tue 20-Sep-16 20:16:02

What a nasty woman!
I have heard similar comments too: DP is a high earner (and I have a pretty decent job) and he treats me to nice gifts every now and then. I have heard so many snide remarks over the years about them but have learnt to just ignore it - it's definitely just pure jealousy, unfortunately.

cavkc123 Tue 20-Sep-16 20:18:38

Chocolate ... I just might do that ... condoms on the table will make a nice change from party poppers cakewinewinewine

Maybe I should put a welcome pack in their bedroom with lubricant, sex toys and a list of 'services' including if it's by the hour or not

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