Ds (19) is a uni student and I currently top up his uni loan. (For those who haven't got student dcs, believe me the loans do not cover living expenses. DS's loan was less than his hall fees.) He studies a subject related to health.
I'm anti- smoking (which ds well knows) and he has always claimed to think that his friends who smoke are idiots. He says How can they be so stupid to waste their money on that shit? Don't they know what it does to their bodies? etc bullshit etc
Lo and behold, facebook photos of ds on holiday tagged by friends show him fag in hand, cigs in pocket, smoking away. (And funnily enough I notice he immediately unfriended me so I guess he's hoping I haven't seen the photos.)
I'm trying to work out a reasonable approach before he gets back from his holiday. I'm wondering if cutting the money I give him to support him at uni is fair? Why the fuck should I give him my hard earned cash to pay for his disgusting stupid money wasting habit? Is this hysterical overreaction? Too little too late? Measured and sensible?
Things to bear in mind:
- He's adult, independent and I can't stop him if he chooses to smoke fucking idiot
- He has a part time job and is doing very well on a tough academic course.
- Despite his job and my (term time) financial support he is still overdrawn and struggled to pay for this camping holiday with friends.
- He has signed a rental agreement to share a student house next academic year. He has to pay half rent over the summer and without my help won't be able to pay for september.
WWYD? Please tell me.