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AIBU?

to think this is sexual harassment not "an equal opportunities issue"?

414 replies

SwissWank · 22/07/2016 13:58

If I am expecting a vulva and in a private room am met with a penis...

I don't have to touch your penis, surely?

www.buzzfeed.com/lanesainty/trans-woman-brazilian-wax?utm_term=.wn9yL7dKK#.aoLOxVqZZ

OP posts:
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ChatterNatterer · 22/07/2016 14:03

Ridiculous!

They book a brazillian at a salon which doesn't do male genitalia waxing - they turn up with male genitalia and still expect them to get waxed?

I think they are taking the piss!

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WibblyWobblyJellyHead · 22/07/2016 14:04

Oh how completely ridiculous. The world has gone completely fucking mad over this whole Trans thing. I despair.

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jay55 · 22/07/2016 14:04

If you want your sack and crack waxed that's what you ask for.

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LaurieFairyCake · 22/07/2016 14:06

I agree it's sexual harassment and some pervert wanting their cock felt up

Or they'd go somewhere that did male genitals

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BeyondBeyondBeyondBeyondBeyond · 22/07/2016 14:08

Apart from anything else it's bloody dangerous. A person who is trained to do Brazilian waxing doesn't necessarily have the training to wax a scrotum.

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WibblyWobblyJellyHead · 22/07/2016 14:09

"My body doesn’t match up to their expectations as a female," she said.


That's because a cock and balls isn't female, no matter how many times people jump up and down and claim it is.

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Buggers · 22/07/2016 14:10

Completely agree with jellyhead.

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SwissWank · 22/07/2016 14:14

I wonder what they'd have said if she had attempted to wax her 'female penis' and ripped the skin off?

OP posts:
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Roseformeplease · 22/07/2016 14:15

Isn't it a bit like turning up at a gynaecologist and complaining because they refuse to use a speculum on your (absent) vagina?

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PeekAtChu · 22/07/2016 14:20

We state the waxing we do on our menu and website and male Brazilians are amongst a range of services we don’t offer,” Locke wrote. “It would have been negligent for your therapist to go ahead at your insistence and wax an area of the body we hadn’t trained her in

Seems completely reasonable of the salon to me. This person is obviously an entitled, shit stirring arse.

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JigglypuffsCaptor · 22/07/2016 14:24

How grim. This issue has in my opinion been hyperinflated thanks to social media movements.

If you don't have female genitalia how an earth do you expect them to be waxed. It's a bit like me turning up to have my car washed on a push bike Confused

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dizzyfucker · 22/07/2016 14:25

Oh for Fucks sake. When told they don't wax men's genitalia, then they simply don't do it. How thick do you have to be if you cannot comprehend that?

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NotYoda · 22/07/2016 14:32

"My body doesn’t match up to their expectations as a female," she said.

That is really funny

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TimeforaNNChange · 22/07/2016 14:34

There has, I believe, been action taken against a clinic for not carrying out a cervical smear on a trans-woman who believed she was entitled to receive one.

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HubrisComicGhoul · 22/07/2016 14:34

Apparently there is no such thing as male and female genitalia anymore. If you identify as a woman, whatever you have is "female" Confused

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PeekAtChu · 22/07/2016 14:37

There has, I believe, been action taken against a clinic for not carrying out a cervical smear on a trans-woman who believed she was entitled to receive one ShockConfused

And how, exactly, does this trans-woman expect them to examine a nonexistent cervix? FFS.

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ArcheryAnnie · 22/07/2016 14:37

The salon sounds perfectly reasonable in this - very measured, and obviously not discriminating against this person as they offered to wax other areas of their body, just not their balls!

The fact this client wangled $1000 as compensation and still isn't satisfied says a lot about the motivations of the client.

If I go into a mani-pedi outfit and throw a fit because they aren't prepared to give me a haircut, then it's not because they are discriminating against me and an owner of a full head of hair, ffs.

(And no woman should be expected to touch male genitals against her wishes just because the owner of those genitals wants them to be touched.)

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JigglypuffsCaptor · 22/07/2016 14:42

How can you have a cervical smear if you have no cervix?!?!?!

Sounds like people want cash, I will ask my friend who is a double leg amputee to book a pedicure and then kick a fuss when they can't polish his toes and get some compo Hmm we can split it.

The world's gone mad!

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TimeforaNNChange · 22/07/2016 14:53

If genitalia are becoming interchangeable - that is, women can have penis and men can have vaginas, then there is an urgent need to education both sexes/genders in more depth about ALL genitalia.

My (biologically male) DH is the first to admit that he knows very little about the female body biologically speaking - you would hope that if he ever chose to transition one day, he'd educate himself, rather than make a fool of himself as some trans-women have done very publicly, recently.

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JapaneseSlipper · 22/07/2016 14:53

"I agree it's sexual harassment and some pervert wanting their cock felt up"

Are you fucking kidding me?

This person (Karen) called the salon, explained the situation over the phone in advance, and the booking was made.

In person, it was clear that the message had not been passed on, and the therapist reacted in a way that, yes, probably insulted Karen. Because she thought that the therapist would have been briefed about Karen beforehand, or so relaxed (because no questions were asked over the phone) that they didn't need briefing, and wouldn't recoil in horror.

Now, I personally don't think it was helpful to attempt to claim a deed settlement, because people LOVE getting wound up about transgender people speaking up for themselves. But clearly there was a breakdown in communication, despite Karen taking steps to avoid exactly this kind of situation arising, and the salon don't seem to be making any attempt to right that wrong.

"When told they don't wax men's genitalia, then they simply don't do it. How thick do you have to be if you cannot comprehend that?"

I am sure Karen understands it. That is not the problem. The problem is that the salon failed to react appropriately when Karen told them - again, in advance - that she was transgender. They didn't take the opportunity to say "sorry, we can't help you". Instead, they made the appointment, didn't brief the therapist, let Karen take off her clothes, and then be - yes - humiliated by putting both her and the therapist in an extremely awkward position.

Not sure why this is difficult to grasp. Could it be that some of you didn't actually read the article?

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LurkingHusband · 22/07/2016 14:55

Was the customers name Stan ?

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the right to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0079470/quotes?item=qt0471971

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AdjustableWench · 22/07/2016 14:56

Meh. She said when she booked the appointment that she was trans. The staff knew when she came in for the appointment that she was trans. It didn't seem to occur to anyone to establish what that meant in her case. But I doubt any court would see it as sexual harassment. I also doubt it would constitute discrimination under the Equality Act if it happened here. Seems like a non-story to me.

Interestingly, she seems to want the salon to specify on their website that they wax trans women. I don't think that would help matters - it leads to the same story all over again. Probably the only way to word it would be to say 'We wax vulvas (and no other genitals).' But I don't see that happening either.

There are some interesting debates to be had about trans rights, but this isn't one of them.

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mamaslatts · 22/07/2016 14:57

(And no woman should be expected to touch male genitals against her wishes just because the owner of those genitals wants them to be touched.)

This, totally.

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Dontyoulovecalpol · 22/07/2016 15:01

In the London borough that I live in only a few salons treat men. You need (or at least, did 5 years ago) a special licence to allow men to remove their clothes, in short.

This is basically due to the sex district getting licenses as "massage parlours" which allows them to massage men.
Obviously a lot of normal salons don't want the hassle or potential misunderstanding of applying for this part of the licence and so don't. My husband goes to dedicated men's salons or has sports massages. He's been hearing about this for 10 years trying to find salons!

So if they can't do dicks, they can't do dicks. Doesn't matter whether the dick owner calls themselves a woman or not really.

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LaurieFairyCake · 22/07/2016 15:03

In the article the salon owner said that it stated on their website that they didn't wax male genitals so 'Karen' should have read that and not shown her penis to a beautician.

I don't think it's ok to show your penis to people unexpectedly Hmm - can't believe I have to state that

Yes, she told them she was transgender but since the website said they didn't wax male genitals it's bloody obvious the salon would have expected her to be post op.

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