To cosleep with 6wk old? Scared to discuss in RL

(116 Posts)
YesterdayTomorrowToday Thu 14-Apr-16 10:26:24

Last night our 6 week old baby refused to go to sleep no matter what we did. In the end I fed him laying down in bed and we both fell asleep, the next thing I knew it was 5:30am this morning, by far the longest he has slept since being born!

I loved it and I fed him again at 5:30 and the cuddled him back to sleep until 7:45am, which is unheard of.

AIBU to continue cosleeping with 6 week old? Is he too young? I followed all advice, no covers, no pillows near, no walls to get wedged in, DH knew he was there and we hadn't drank and we don't smoke.

I am too scared of being judged in RL as MIL has already made her feelings known despite the fact we hadn't even done it then, and the HV also mentioned she doesn't agree with it.

Would love the benefit of all your wisdom and experience MNers.

MissTurnstiles Thu 14-Apr-16 10:28:06

YANBU to cosleep safely. IME many more people do it than are willing to talk about it.

If you are still worried then you could hire a bedside crib - you can hire a Bednest for £50.

MyBreadIsEggy Thu 14-Apr-16 10:29:30

I co-slept from birth. As do loads of other people.
Sod what your MIL thinks! She's not the one up all night with a baby that won't sleep in a crib/cot by himself - you are. At this stage, you do anything you possibly can to get some sleep!
Congratulations on your newborn smile

Hughpughbarneymagrew Thu 14-Apr-16 10:30:50

Our HVs advice was that co sleeping wasn't recommended, but if I found I needed to do it then just make sure it's done safely ie by following the guidelines you have mentioned. I think a lot more people do it than admit to it.

Happyat40 Thu 14-Apr-16 10:32:00

I co slept - I just didn't tell my HV.

Do it safely . thanks

samG76 Thu 14-Apr-16 10:32:10

Congrats - we do the same. Absolutely no issue, as far as I can see. Would be much more dangerous if you looked after the baby while completely sleep deprived - far more likely to lead to accidents and the like....

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Thu 14-Apr-16 10:32:17

There are obvious dangers, but co-sleeping is just so natural. As long as you are careful. That's exactly where the baby wants to be. They're only tiny and being so close to their mummys must make them feel so safe in this big, scary world.

CMOTDibbler Thu 14-Apr-16 10:32:19

Safe co sleeping is great. No judging from me at all as I loved it

Minimalteserbunny Thu 14-Apr-16 10:32:59

We still co sleep - safety is key as you stated you are safe bed sharing
baby is happy
mum is rested sounds like it's working

LBOCS2 Thu 14-Apr-16 10:33:41

As long as you're doing it safely - and it sounds like you are - then no, YADNBU.

We fell into it last time around. This time I've bought a cosleeper crib - so we're on a similar path to you

UterusUterusGhali Thu 14-Apr-16 10:34:15

Although official advice is to put baby in a cot, if done safely I would definitely recommend it if it saves your sanity.

There is research, which I can't link to as I can't remember where I read it blush, which concluded it wasn't as significantly more dangerous as previously thought. My hospital changed its official guidelines after it was published.

The crucial thing is you do it safely, eg baby on top of the duvet, not over tired, not on the sofa, no smoking or drinking or drugs.

Ninjagogo Thu 14-Apr-16 10:34:18

Congratulations! Ignore people who are critical and follow your instincts. All of mine started off in their own beds, but then they ended up with us. Eventually they slept in their own beds all night. Although I did have visions of the colicky pfb sleeping upright even as a teen......

scarednoob Thu 14-Apr-16 10:34:45

I think you do whatever you need to do. You're far more dangerous if you are totally sleep deprived!

Just one thing - if you have a memory foam mattress it's not recommended as they can suffocate. We have and so I couldn't do it. I'd have co-slept like a shot if it meant getting even an hour or two of sleep in those first 8 weeks!

Champagneformyrealfriends Thu 14-Apr-16 10:34:50

We have a Chico co sleeper. My 3 week old dd settled in that a lot better than her Moses basket but the temptation when she is unsettled to bring her into bed with us is really strong. On the couple of occasions that I've laid her next to me on a morning I've really struggled not to fall asleep and she drifts off straight away! YANBU-if you're doing it safely and you're happy with the decision then I'd say carry on.

Newyearnewbrain Thu 14-Apr-16 10:35:17

Safe co sleeping is perfectly acceptable. Slept with both of mine and they left for their own beds when they were a bit chunkier, no problem with transfer.

If you're following the guidelines as you clearly are, then everyone benefits! Those early days can be tough. Maximising sleep potential is invaluable IMO.

ISaySteadyOn Thu 14-Apr-16 10:35:31

Done it with all 3 of mine. I love the sleepy snuggles. It also really helped with bfing. It is natural.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Thu 14-Apr-16 10:35:41

We did from birth but baby and I slept on our own bed on the floor until she was about 11 weeks old. Then she came in with both dh and I.

We followed all the safety advice about no drinking and drugs.

Planned co-sleeping following guideline isn't really any less safe.

TreeSparrow Thu 14-Apr-16 10:37:11

I co-slept out of absolute necessity as baby would not be put down, let alone sleep alone! I managed to break it at about the 14 week mark but we still often co-sleep from 4am onwards. My health visitor never said anything negative about it and checked the way I had the bed set up to ensure we were doing it safely (pillows down edge of bed, only using cellular blankets above waist height). Husband slept in spare room!

UterusUterusGhali Thu 14-Apr-16 10:37:39

What is potentially very dangerous, btw, is falling asleep slumped over baby whilst feeding upright if you have large breasts. sad

scarednoob Thu 14-Apr-16 10:42:03

Large breasts are the work of the devil when it comes to babies. I get so cross watching my friends feed niftily in public whereas I need at least 4 hands to juggle the baby (not literally!), my bra, my top, holding the baby in place somewhere around my waist, and holding the flesh back so she can actually breathe whilst feeding.... Stupid floppy wastes of skin!!

Squashysbrother Thu 14-Apr-16 10:47:33

I'd hate to say go for it for something then to happen.

I coslept with ds2 when he was a bit older 4 months +, but I think you have to weigh up the risks, and being exhausted is risky too.

If you're going to do it just do it as safely as possible.

CheeseAndOnionWalkers Thu 14-Apr-16 10:50:24

Yanbu.
Safe cosleeping is the norm in many cultures and I enjoyed it myself.

gandalf456 Thu 14-Apr-16 10:51:03

I did it unofficially with mine. You don't have to tell anyone but you don't have to feel as if you were doing something wrong either. Do what you can to get some sleep

LovelyFriend Thu 14-Apr-16 10:52:16

I did it from 6 weeks with DD1 and from birth with DD2.
Its brilliant - I loved it.

CaptainWarbeck Thu 14-Apr-16 10:53:35

Yes absolutely, just do it safely. If you're breastfeeding you'll have increased awareness of the baby and you'll sleep differently, studies are interesting on this.

Don't drink and cosleep and keep baby by you, not between you and partner.

We coslept for the same reasons and all slept a lot better! We were upfront with our child health nurse and family and luckily everyone was very supportive.

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