NC as feeling a bit sensitive and don't want anyone who knows my usual username knowing this is me.
Not sure this is really a AIBU but unsure where else to post this.
For as long as I can remember lots of people seem to really dislike me. I thought I'd got used to it by now but obviously not.
I'll start at the beginning as don't want to drip feed. Looking back at my childhood (which was generally very happy) I now realise lots of people seemed to really dislike me, even my own Grandmother said I wasn't 'likeable'. When I say people I mean adults and children. I had a small group of close friends but looking back I can distinctly remember some of their parents taking a dislike to me, and one in particular making snidey comments which I used to try and take as a joke but it did really hurt. I was a polite and good natured child (so I'm told, I'm not just saying that myself) but there was just something people couldn't really take to. This has been the same throughout my childhood and into adulthood. I used to put it down to being an only child (I wasn't spoilt but was probably quite grown up and often preferred to spend time with people who were older than me), but now I'm not sure that was the reason and think it's just something 'about me' that makes people dislike me.
I've not got what you could call a 'best friend' and most of my friendships are quite causal, i.e. Nobody I regularly spend time. Throughout my adult life I've worked in a few different places and seem to get the same reaction everywhere.
I've been in counselling over the years and explored different reasons why this may be the case. I've tried lots of different things, such as:
- taking more of an interest in the other person by asking questions and looking interests
- talking less about myself (even though I don't think I really ever did)
- making more of an effort to invite people out
- being more upbeat and 'vibrant' (again don't think I was particularly dull anyway)
However nothing seems to work. It's come to a head today because I've just started taking my baby to baby group. Met a Mum the first week, seemed nice, she added me on Facebook then on my next visit to the group she practically blanks me. Tried not to dwell on it, thought she may be having a bad day or something. Spent next baby group talking to another Mum, again seemed really nice and we got on well. Bumped in to her in town today, I said Hi and tried to start a conversation, she blanked me and rushed off. Saw her a little while later, I was in a shop a and she was looking in the window, she was about to come in and she saw me, put her head down and walked off.
I'm so upset, it's happened, yet again!
I really don't understand why people don't like me. I feel so sad and I'm so worried that my DC will end up with no friends because their parents don't like me.
Are some people just unlikeable for no particular reason?
I've asked people in the past and they can't (or won't) give me an answer.
My family says not to worry about it but I really hate being disliked!
Any thoughts greatly appreciated.