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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?

685 replies

squoosh · 27/10/2015 13:17

Risk of being thrown in the Tower/put in the stocks and all that malarkey if you refuse.

Today I think I'd go for Ralph Fiennes. Look how pretty he is. Yes he's all tortured and angsty and probably ponders endlessly on his 'craft' (yawwwn) but he's just so alluring.

No doubt he'd be a tad high maintenance in the long run but for an enforced torrid affair I think he'd do very nicely indeed. Plus he's probably into all manner of eye popping sexual shenanigans. And let's face it, what's the point of a torrid affair without some eye poppery. Am I right?

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
128
thedevilinmyshoes · 27/10/2015 13:18

He's a bit old isn't he?

Original poster
squoosh · 27/10/2015 13:19

Too old for Miley Cyrus, too young for Queen Elizabeth.

OP posts:
sofato5miles · 27/10/2015 13:19

Eye poppery is LAW.

Gatekeeper · 27/10/2015 13:20

Sean Pertwee; he looks like a right mucky buggerGrin

RoisinIwanttofightyourfather · 27/10/2015 13:20

Kenneth Branagh. We're in love. Well, he would totally fall in love with me if we met. And if he didn't already love his wife. (Shakes fist at Mrs Branagh)

scarevola · 27/10/2015 13:21

By royal decree?

Then Harry, please.

Crown
PlummyBrummy · 27/10/2015 13:22

Huge Ackman. Mmmmmmm

MatildaTheCat · 27/10/2015 13:22

Ralph is nice but might be a bit over poncy and high brow for a torrid affair. George clooney would never disappoint, surely? Matt Damon...

floatyflo · 27/10/2015 13:23

Tom Hardy. But then I wouldn't want the affair to end so I'd have to blackmail him into marrying me.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 27/10/2015 13:24

I love beards his I am not so sure about

mmm I think today it would be Idris Elba

from your op I am assuming we can change daily though I would prefer it weekly myself

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 27/10/2015 13:25

Gérard Butler

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 27/10/2015 13:26

I have no idea where that accent came from!

TeamScoutRifle · 27/10/2015 13:27

All good suggestions...can I have them all? Wink

MythicalKings · 27/10/2015 13:28
Cocolepew · 27/10/2015 13:28

As much as I love Bradley Cooper I'm not a 100% sure he'd satisfy me Hmm. So I'll pick Joaquin Phoenix

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
Abidewithme3 · 27/10/2015 13:29

What a great thread.

Mmm yes Ralph lovely. Liam Neeson, David Beckham, Benedict what's his face, the whole of the New Zealand rugby team, (bit of rough) oh and the one who played Jean Hackmen in life on mars.

That covers October. Grin

Christinayangstwistedsista · 27/10/2015 13:30

Thor and Tom Hardy...I'm greedy

Sgtmajormummy · 27/10/2015 13:30

I've been waiting for an excuse like this my life... All right Jeremy Irons, you just lie back and think of the Queen!

Original poster
squoosh · 27/10/2015 13:30

You're planning a ummm, full social diary there Abide!

OP posts:
Toooldtobearsed · 27/10/2015 13:31

Rob Lowe.

Nuff said.

iklboo · 27/10/2015 13:32

All the Avengers, including Agent Coulson & probably Nick Fury as well. On a rota basis, obviously.

LemonBreeland · 27/10/2015 13:33

Aljaz Skorjanec. Never mind the fact that he is 13 years younger than me.

TaliZorah · 27/10/2015 13:33

Daniel Radcliffe

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
LunchpackOfNotreDame · 27/10/2015 13:33

Can I add the short stocky beardy staff guy from the SAS programme on 4? No idea what his name is but he's lovely

MaxPepsi · 27/10/2015 13:34

Oh goodness, It would have to be James Blunt. He looks like he would be downright dirty in bed.
I reckon I could shag him for days. And days........and days!