to make a 6yr old do chores ?

[EvilTendency1]

Apparently asking a 6yr old to do the following is too much for them :
Straight in from school, change and hang up uniform / put in washing basket if dirty
Put Shoes away neatly / Hang coat up
Clear all toys away just before bed back into the toy box
Empty top shelf of dishwasher (all plastic cups and plates - so no sharp items)
Take empty bowl/plate into kitchen after meal and place in the sink with used cup (plastic - so no chance of broken glass)
Help with putting a load of washing in to the tumble dryer about once a week, (I wash three loads then when all done the tumble dryer goes on) dc just takes clothes out of washing machine and puts them into the dryer if they are downstairs and I hear the washing machine beep away that it's finished.

Am I being nasty by insisting these are done ?

[gallicgirl]

Not at all.
It sounds very age appropriate.

Who thinks you're being nasty?

[BabyMurloc]

Putting washing in a basket, cups in sink and toys away I wouldn't even consider a chore. Its basic self care/manners.

The others are very small quick minor chores. It will teach responsibility. My DCs do similar at that age and the older ones do more.

[HereIAm20]

Sounds fine to me - all age appropriate- and a good grounding for going forward and installing a sense of responsibility. The more normalised this is now the easier life will be long term - both in terms of sharing household work load and in terms of discipline.

[molyholy]

You are not nasty at all. These are the kind of jobs my 6yr helps me with. She also tidies her room (to a fashion, but I'm not bothered as she takes it upon herself to do this). She will also help to polish when we are having a 'proper' tidy up.

[TongueBiter]

I found a list of FB of age appropriate chores. For ages 6-7 they list:

Gather trash
Fold towels
Mop floors
Empty dishwasher
Match clean socks life is too short
Weed garden
Rake leaves
Peel potatoes/carrots
Make salad
Replace toilet roll.

From your list, my 6.7 yo does the following:
Puts dirty clothes in wash basket (I might ask him to help me sort whites/darks if he's around; also put it in the w/m, but not selecting programme, switching on etc)
Tidy toys away
Help empty dishwasher
Take empty bowl/plate into kitchen/dishwasher, scraping leftovers into bin on the way (they do the scraping thing at school, so used to doing it)
Very occasionally will make me breakfast, either cereal or buttered toast a pleasure, not a chore

Would help carry the bin bags/recycling tubs out.
Just got wheelie bins, will trundle them back off the pavement.
Waters flowers with hose pipe.
Mows the lawn! (With me holding the cable)
Will generally help with dusting/windows cleaning.
Helps put the shopping away.
Helps do any DIY when safe to do so.

[EatDessertFirst]

Sounds good to me. My 6yo DD does all those things (and makes her bed/tidies her room) as does my 4yo DS. Its not about 'making them do chores' its about teaching them responsibility to themselves and their home.

[TaurielTest]

Sounds about right to me, matches more or less what my 6 yo does.
Little things like clearing plates and putting dirty clothes into laundry basket are important, I think, in embedding the message that these things are individual responsibilities, not mummy's job by default.

[kyrie182]

You're very inspiring! I have a 5yo that does minimal! I think a revamp of the chores list is needed! Thanks

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

Surely that's just part of raising a future responsible adult?

I wish all parents did the same - I had a nightmare sharing houses with people who had been mollycoddled and waited on all their lives.

[EvilTendency1]

I was a party at the weekend and one parent claimed she couldn't believe that her own mother (the child's gm) had suggested starting getting her to make her own bed.

She was looking for support to the claim and I mentioned what my dc did, much to my surprise quite a few of the other parents exclaimed that they felt I was being a bit mean. Which left me a bit confused as I thought 'Bollocks to that, I'm not my childs maid.' Yes obviously I help and do most of it but tidying up after yourself (the toys especially) I've maintained if you're capable of pulling them out, you are most certainly capable of putting them back. Despite a few protests at the beginning it's now a matter of habit for the dc to tidy up at the end of the day and make sure they know where their uniform is in the morning so I don't have wails of "Mummy !!!! I can't find my X,Y or Z" typically always at the last fecking minute is this item lost

[madcapped]

We've just just started giving our 2 jobs to earn some pocket money. Dd 6 has to tidy her room, feed the cat, and water the garden. Ds 4 has to tidy his room and set the table for any sit down meals.

[EvilTendency1]

Ah yes I forgot, they set the table as well for dinner.

[reni1]

Would not even call those chores, just looking after self and surroundings. Perfectly normal and age appropriate.

[Gottagetmoving]

I think you are being a good Mum to encourage these chores.
I hate to see children having everything done for them and usually with a mother who never stops complaining about how she has to pick up everything after her family!
My DCs tidied away their own toys from being toddlers and they helped with small cleaning jobs too until they were bigger and given more responsibility.

[Theboxtrollsareallowed]

Same job list as my 5 year old -sounds fine & normal.

[LashesandLipstick]

That's a lot for a 6 year old!

[OnlyLovers]

Your list sounds great.

I think the other parents are making serious rods for their own backs/enabling their children to grow up lazy and clueless. Carry on!

[RobotHamster]

Yep, DS does all of these, plus making bed, putting clean clothes away. He's very good at looking after his little sister too, but he's a little older (almost 8)

He was talking to me about it this morning. He was saying that none of his friends have as many jobs to do at their house, but he doesn't mind doing his jobs because he doesn't want me to have to do it all! Lovely boy.

[EvilTendency1]

LashesandLipstick What would you deem appropriate then ?

[Summerisle1]

YANBU. Most of your 6 year old's 'chores' are, in any case, self-care. The rest are helping out in an entirely appropriate way. Not too much at all.

[RobotHamster]

Oh, and he'll be washing up and helping more with dinner as soon as he's more capable. I will not being up a useless male who can't operate a washing machine or cook for himself.

[reni1]

Never occurred to me these are jobs, it's just what everybody beyond toddlerhood does, like bum wiping, brushing teeth and getting dressed.

[Pumpeedo]

Ooo TongueBiter, peel potatoes?! Not sure about that one but my DCs (aged 8 to 13) do all my housework except the ironing. I turn a blind eye to the eldest paying the younger ones to do his chores. They get paid £5 each per week for doing jobs. It's cheaper than a cleaner and gives them a good work ethic!

[Floralnomad]

Nothing wrong with bringing dc up to be tidy and help out a bit but do people seriously still use plastic plates / cups with children over toddler age ?

[Iloveonionchutney]

My dd aged 4, has been putting her toys away as long as I remember,she loves loading the washing machine an putting dishes away, she asks if she can do it! She also puts her shoes away when she gets in and puts clothes in the wash basket. It's just how we've always done things. We've just moved and have our first garden, she waters the plants most days and helps me pull up weeds. I don't really see any of it as chores.