Air travel stories nice or nasty (lighthearted)

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I was on a long haul flight and a stewardess flight attendant was serving redwine out of a bottle. Someone jogged her arm and wine was spilt onto my light blue, cotton blouse. A wipe didn't help so the conscientious stewardess took the blouse away to rinse it (I was wearing a tee shirt underneath) but it made no difference. To keep me warm overnight, I was presented with a First Class cabin sleepsuit pair of pyjamas. I was so pleased.

PS the red wine stain did come out of my light blue blouse

We took a flight back from Canada a few years ago and we are always last to leave the plane (because I cannot be bothered with the race it turns into against other passengers) and the stewardess in first class gave my two boys a special edition tin full of things because they had been so well behaved and were cute. It was late and we were very tired but she made our flight!

They put up with so much and the fact that the cabin crew are so lovely on nearly every flight we have taken is testament to their patience!

Not a very nice one:

My DP and I went to New York in October 2013. He is pretty tall (6' 2", not a giant) and was quite uncomfortable in the economy seats. A few hours into the flight he accepted a cup of tea from the flight attendant, who then jostled him and the whole cup spilled onto his thigh. He was yelling at them to move because we were in the middle row of three, myself and someone else was to his left and the drinks trolley was blocking him in to his right. It took them a minute to move it and he had to be ushered away for first aid. He was away for ages and when we finally got to the hotel I could see that layers of skin had peeled away and he was in a lot of pain. He still has a scar

I keep joking that we need to phone Injury Lawyers 4 U

The most bizarre flight I ever took was to Toronto about 15 years ago, I was flying on my own and when I took my seat I was in the middle of a group of three. Either side of me were an elderly Canadian couple. She said to me: 'He likes to have the window seat so he can see out, I like to have the aisle seat so I can get out if we crash' (?!). They then proceeded to talk over me the entire flight & pass food back & forth in front of me while I just sat there reading.

I have been witness to DH having a close encounter with a backfiring toilet. Doesn't get worse than that!

Years ago we lived abroad and DD and I would fly back regularly to visit family. Once we booked a relatively unknown airline to go from London City to the small airport closest to our house.

We boarded the smallish plane (capacity 100?) and I was delighted to see that the seat next to us was empty. Then I looked around as we took off and there were only ten of us on the plane, all spread out.

Best. Flight. Ever. DD was a year old and the air stewards took turns walking her up and down the aisle, we had as much food as we wanted, DD had several packets of the free toys they carried. At the end of the flight they came around with the free chocolates, we were the last at the end of the plane and the only people who weren't businessmen. The steward opened my nappy bag and tipped the whole tray in.

My own story: 4 hours out of Singapore on a flight from the UK and baby son was having a bottle of milk. Plane hits turbulence so we are stuck in seats, and he vomited all over me. I had 2 hours (until plane left turbulence) of sitting with a pool of vomit soaking into my cleavage and a very upset child :(

A colleague's story: colleague 1 and colleague 2 were returning from a business trip and de-stressing by getting blather-arsed. 1 woke up to find 2 gone, and became concerned when he didn't return. 1 worked out that 2 was in the plane toilet, but didn't respond to knocks. Concerned that 2 was ill, 1 got the stewardess to open the door from the outside. 2 had passed out in a drunken stupor. When door opened,he fell forward, trousers round ankles, arse in the air :)

Shortly before DD was two we were flying to Jersey. The flight was only meant to be an hour and was in the middle of the day so we were quite blase about it because the previous year I had flown alone to Sydney with her and she was absolutely fine (a whole different story)

Anyway once we were in the plane we were told that take off would be delayed for almost an hour. It was Diana's funeral and they were limiting air traffic over London apparently. DD proceeded to throw the biggest melt down ever. She screamed and screamed and there was literally nothing I could do to calm her - all this in a small aeroplane full of already p**d off passengers.

Eventually the cabin crew had the steps brought back to the aeroplane and it was "suggested" that I get off the plane with her to calm her down back in the terminal building. I did finally get her off to sleep but when they brought me back on the plane ready for take off they insisted I fasten the lap strap thing round her and that woke her up which set her off again only worse! It was horrendous. As sson as the seat belt sign went off I walked to the back of the plane with her but she screamed half way to Jersey and only stopped when the tea and biscuits came out

Oh, what stories! We cannot be the only ones with flight stories like this (mine was obviously very mild) so are there any others?

SoontobeMrs B Too late for a compensation claim (accidental stuff)?

101 handbags How rude of them.

EsMum07 Please - what's a backfiring toilet?

Thewanderinguterus I wish all flights were like that. I do have a preferred airline for long haul.

Oldnewmummy

5foot5 Sympathy for you but pleased that I was not on that flight.

Arrived late at airport due to accident on the motorway so couldnt buy any water in dutyfree like i normally did. Had no water or drink for three hours plus and felt very very dry. In fact dont think id had anything to dribk since the night before. Trolley came around and i asked for a coke as so thirsty and needed more than water. Downed the coke in one as did dh. Trolley moved on. Two minutes later we were hanged a huge sealed bottle of water by the female cabin crew and two plastic glasses. I could have kissed her. Never has water tasted so good.....

My mum had a seizure mid air en route from Aberdeen to Heathrow years ago. As she was coming round, the flight hit turbulence and the stewardess who was giving first aid to mum, hit the ceiling and gashed her back.. Was in the late 80s so years and years ago. The daft thing is that she'd already had seizures before the flight, at check in, and visited the first aid suite at heathrow, so how they let her on the plane in the first place I don't know!

I fly a lot for work (and no, not in business class). I often end up seated with a) lone women with babies b) unaccompanied children c) wittering grannies. This can seriously dent my enjoyment of a few hours to myself.

Worst flight - in the US on an internal flight. Poor woman travelling with a toddler who just would not stop being sick, and was rapidly coming down with it herself. When I got to the gate, she had been given a bin and a stack of paper towels, and she and child were halfway through their journey. I helped her out, but it was very grim.

Best flight - going to Japan, I got talking to a member of cabin crew, and was able to give her some advice for a friend of hers regarding something in my professional line. A few minutes later, she came back and ushered me up to the empty first class cabin. Bliss!

CMOTDibbler Jammy devil! Perhaps we should all come up with hints on things to cabin crew.

PS I prefer the word 'grandmothers' to 'grannies'.

I have to admit to telling off a child behind me (economy class then) to stop kicking the back of my seat on a long haul, overnight flight to South Africa. The parent did nothing so someone had to tell it to stop kicking.

Years' ago we were off on a family holiday to Italy, on our flight was a large party of Italian schoolchildren - I say children, more like mid to late teens - excited to be going home. They were standing up for much of the flight, swapping seats, dashing to see their friends in other rows, the noise levels were incredible, their teachers/accompanying adults weren't interested in keeping order.

The flight attendants stayed calm and patient occasionally making requests for passengers in general not to run up the length of the plane or disturb the rest of the passengers etc and made a further comment in Italian of which not speaking Italian I only caught gabinetti and fumare but provoked laughter.

Loud cheers and applause as we landed (mainly the schoolkids but also probably the adult passengers who were glad to be away from the hullabaloo) then as we were getting off the plane I asked one of the crew what the announcement had been and she said with a wink,
"Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

Before I was married, I once flew alone from Accra in Ghana via Tripoli in Libya to Gatwick, with Afriqiya Airways. There were about 200 African men on board...and me. In Tripoli airport we all disembarked into a small transit lounge to await the onward Gatwick plane. I have never in my life seen so many gorgeous and tasty men around, all in smart suits. I was swamped by them all, the only female passenger. Not only that, but the Libyan transit staff were all men, and they too were exceptionally tasty. It was my ultimate fantasy moment. 50 Shades of Black!

Fly Qantas at Christmas. We had a shitty time one year and couldn't be where we were supposed to be because of terrorism. We had to fly on Christmas Eve. Lovely Qantas air steward was serving wine and I asked for one. He said, "here's a few, it's Christmas and you're British" and winked, depositing a few in my seat pocket. They were so sweet.

LAX having the worst time in an airport of my life (rude immigration, delays, American airports - the worst in the world) I went to buy a book to treat myself. The young black woman at the till served me. I asked for Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. She and her team had obviously been waiting all day for that. She said, "we have Stupid White Men" and signaled behind her. The two white stock guys waved frantically. They made my day. I think I made theirs too.

When my goddaughter and godson were seven and five their Mum took them to Australia to see their Grandmother(first flight for both children).
I bought them a copy Usbournes First Experiences (Going on a Plane) and their Mum dutifully went through the book with them page by page. All was going well till they got onto the plane and my poor goddaughter spent nearly the whole flight to Singapore (stopover point) vomiting into airline sickbags. At one of the brief times when she wasnt being ill she looked at her Mum and said "It didnt say anything about this happening in the book Lottie bought us Mum!"

Not actually long ago - Easyjet flight, attendant getting ready to do the flight safety announcement so reaching up in the locker above me to get out the lifejacket, mock seatbelt etc.

She dropped the seatbelt on my head and the metal bit hit my forehead. "Ouch" says I and it immediately came up in what I can only describe as an egg. OMG were they panicking initially, almost like they didn't know what to do and kept asking if I felt faint! Took my name and address just in case. I did get a free glass of water out of it and an icepack to hold on it!

Flight story (2)

Sadly though things have changed. I'm now old, fat and pretty ugly. I took a domestic flight to Edinburgh airport this summer, on a dear little de Havilland 15-seater plane with two small black propellers. It looked like one that Noddy would fly in. There were two small steps (which were actually the door upside down) to get into the plane and I couldn't get up them. I felt two hands push my bottom firmly forwards and I got in. It was a dispatch lady giving me a helping hand. So kind of her.

Coming in to land, DS2 was 13 months, so when the seatbelt sign came on he had to be strapped onto my lap for the landing.
As soon as he was buckled in he started straining and having a poo. Ugh he strained and strained and then the delightful whiff of full nappy filled the cabin.
Plane had to circle a few times. It was grim.

On a better long haul flight when DS1 was 15 months, the relief when I realised the plane was half empty DH, DS and I had a row each, and DS1 slept the whole flight. lovely.

Last year DH and I boarded a flight from Glasgow heading back home to Florida after a holiday in Scotland. In the waiting area, it became obvious that most our fellow passengers were very excited children whose ultimate destination was Disney World. Luckily, once settled on the plane they were all very well behaved. But the best part, and this is the only time this has ever happened to us, the plane was full, except for the seat next to us in a row of three. We were able to spread out and relax for the entire flight. A small thing, but I hate to fly, and I felt as though I had won the lottery.

Flying from Dallas to Oregon when DD was 2. The plane was part empty so we were given a whole row so she could lie down to sleep. The stewardesses were lovel and al spoke like Dolly Parton

When dd was 18 months old, I flew back to London alone with her from an Asian country (dh stayed a bit longer with family)

On the way to the airport, dd vomited, we stopped briefly on the side of the motorway but no more than 2 minutes for safety reasons. I cleaned myself and dd with wipes and changed her clothes (but couldn't see well in the dark so didn't realised my top needed to be changed)

Proceeded to boarding the plane and felt that dd pooed and it went through her clothing. I straight away went to plane toilet, only to realise that I had left the wipes in the car . I cleaned dd with napkins passed on by the flight attendant, and again changed dd clothes (last spare clothes).

We had a stop over in Abu Dhabi, I bought some wipes , and we were about to board the plane again, dd's diarrhoea happened again, so I thought better to change her nappy before boarding, only she decided to get her hand trapped between the lift doors I couldn't get her hand out, I was starting to panic, and 2 Japanese or Chinese lady who happened to walk passed could only scream "oh my god oh my god" (very helpful ) but a man came and manage to get her hand out.

The second flight was full of diarrhoea and I was running out of nappies and no more spare clothes, we arrived in heathrow with dd wrapped in an airplane blanket and me with a top stinking of vomit.

Not my most glorious moment

December 2012 flying to Houston, Texas on a 10 hour flight. 4 hours in woman opposite me seems a wee bit unwell but nothing serious. An hour later the steward moves them to first class for some privacy. Another hour later the pilot asked if there is a dr or nurse on board. Nothingmore is said till we were about an hour and a half from Houston when the crew are franticly packing away stuff and getting everyone seats up right, captain came on saying passenger had taken a turn for the worst and they had to get on the ground asap.

Landed very hard and fast in Chicago with 2 ambulances racing beside the plane on the runway. Soon as we stopped the paramedics were on and patient off in quick time.

No idea how she was but a steward told us she had went from feeling unwell to having a heart attack

Both my good ones are alcohol related:

Flying to Malaysia, pretty much as soon as we set off they pulled down the shades and went into sleep mode - but as it was 9am and I NEVER sleep on flights I was wide awake. After a couple of hours I buzzed the FA and asked if I could possibly have a drink (thinking a cuppa or a coke). She went off and came back with a Brandy and Dry Ginger ....and did it again, and again and...

5 hours later I was pissed and slept the rest of the journey. Result.

The other time was on a military exped to Canada. We all got upgraded to Club Class. I was sat with two very senior officers who introduced me to Brandy and Baileys cocktails. After a while, getting pissed off with having to keep serving them the FA let them buy a bottle of both duty free and we sat there and drank the lot.

Walked off the plane hammered and I was supposed to work that night.

We were flying from Toronto to New York with DS aged about 16 months and as it was a short flight had him on our knee. However, he was going through a very climby-walky phase and I was very worried he would be noisy and out of control.

In reality he was an angel. We had timed it to coincide with his nap. I had also kept breastfeeding for several months more than I would have otherwise, just for this trip to Canada/America. So I whipped out my boob and he was asleep by the time the stewardess came to check the seatbelts. I think she was surprised and thought he would be trouble! He then woke up once we landed in NY.

Whenever he is being naughty I think back to that trip.