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People suggesting things for me to do because I'm a SAHM

(109 Posts)
madchocolatemum48 Tue 18-Mar-14 09:26:36

I am a SAHM and there are a few other mums at kids school who when I do meet them feel the need to suggest how I spend my time.
This morning
Her " What are you up to?"
Me;"Oh still renovating the house"
Her; " Maybe if you had a hobby or a little job"
Me; "Once we have finished renovating and the kids are in full time education, yes I probably will"
Her; " I don't know how you can not work, it would drive me nuts"
Me; "I do work"
Her; "Yeah, but not properly"
AIBU to want to tell them to F off.

Backtobedlam Tue 18-Mar-14 09:30:30

Ha ha-none of her business what you do. I think I'd be tempted to tell her I was going home to have tea and toast while watching Jeremy Kyle, then maybe back to bed for a nap.

MrsBennetsEldest Tue 18-Mar-14 09:32:16

UANBU at all. Tell them to bog off.
Next time, when asked what you are up to, reply, putting my family first.Smile and carry on with your day.

NinjaBunny Tue 18-Mar-14 09:32:51

Nope.

Tell the to 'fuck off' if that's what your brain is telling you.

Me; "I do work"
Her; "Yeah, but not properly"

She's monstrously rude, you can be too.

wink

Her; " Maybe if you had a hobby or a little job"

And how fucking patronising is that?

shock

I think a "fuck off" would be perfectly justified in this situation.

MsMischief Tue 18-Mar-14 09:39:44

I get this too. I work p/t but as it's DP's business it doesn't 'count'. I also write but that's not something I spread about as you get the avalanche of questions/comments (Can I read it? What have you had published? Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet? What? Still?).

Apparently I need a job as I will be bored. They always suggest a 'little job' too hmm.

Minimou Tue 18-Mar-14 09:40:04

I often think that people who go on like this, trying to put you down etc, are doing it because they feel uncomfortable or unhappy about their own choices or circumstances.

StanleyLambchop Tue 18-Mar-14 09:40:47

" I don't know how you can not work, it would drive me nuts"

'Thank you for your concern but I really am fine'
Now piss off

MsMischief Tue 18-Mar-14 09:41:59

I think the woman who keeps suggesting I 'just become a childminder' is motivated by wanting me to be her childminder.

Burren Tue 18-Mar-14 09:44:42

Outrageously rude. Karate-chop her on the windpipe and tell her that actually your 'little job' is as a hired assassin.

StanleyLambchop Tue 18-Mar-14 09:45:54

Burren- I like your style!

SilverLining Tue 18-Mar-14 09:46:44

Snap! I get this too nearly every single morning! I just find its another example of people thinking they have the right to tell you what you are doing is wrong/right! From the minute I got pregnant people feel that they can comment on what you are eating/drinking/size of bump/what colour socks you wear....
I just smile now and say the coffee & toast & Jeremy Kyle line!
Its nobodies business in the same way that I don't question people who work full time and how do they manage to find time to do the many loads of washing etc!
The world would be very boring if we were all the same!

TheBody Tue 18-Mar-14 09:47:12

I would just go with the fuck off or better sorry are you jealous

Bonsoir Tue 18-Mar-14 09:48:36

Her: I don't know how you cannot work, it would drive me nuts.

You: Yes, because you have no imagination - you require someone else to fill your time for you.

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 09:48:36

I once got do you not feel guilty for not earning any money shock i did tell them it was nothing to do with them really wanted to go for the fuck off option though, I also got well jay can do x y z because she is at home all day piss off

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 09:49:30

Outrageously rude. Karate-chop her on the windpipe and tell her that actually your 'little job' is as a hired assassin.

grin

tiggytape Tue 18-Mar-14 09:56:06

YANBU - it is so rude.

Having had periods of both, I used to particularly love the mums who launched into a rant along the lines of:
"I was going to take a year's maternity leave but I had to go back after 5 months. I was going out of my mind. I was just soooooooooo bored. Honestly I don't know how anyone can stand staying at home changing nappies all day. I had nothing to talk about except babies. It was like I became a zombie and I just totally lost myself doing mindless crap all day. It isn't even the money. I have to work for my own self respect...................."

The implication of course being that the person they are talking to - the person whose situation they are fully aware of - is so brainless and dull that they are blessed with the ability to tolerate things that any self respecting, interesting and intelligent person would find torture. I am not quite sure in what way this is ever anything less than rude.

whiteblossom Tue 18-Mar-14 09:57:14

"what do you do all day"

"well, I walk the dog, supermarket shop, washing, ironing, cooking, collecting dropping off dry cleaning, library books, family prescriptions, cleaning, pay bills, make costumes for ds school play/book day, make cakes for fairs, have playdates, take my kids out, wait for the repair fella, sort out bday parties, decorating, sewing, plan and book holidays, look after my mum & dad and grandparents- how do you find time to work?"

fuckers.

OnlyLovers Tue 18-Mar-14 09:58:10

I love 'sorry are you jealous' grin.

But I'd probably go with 'What do you mean by "properly"'? Or 'What do you think of as "work" then'? Try to get people to explain themselves. It'll trip them up.

Or just use Burren's hired-assassin line.

How fucking rude and patronising. And yes, why is it always a 'little' job? hmm

GemmaTeller Tue 18-Mar-14 09:59:07

Dear brother....
No, I don't want to take your parcels in, get your kids, go and pick up/drop off ....

Just because my office is in my home doesn't mean I'm not working.

I told him this ^^ and now he's not talking to me, apparently I'm being unreasonable because he and his wife work full time and I don't.

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 09:59:27

you know folk would be up in arms if we said to them god how can you leave your baby all day the poor mite (not thAT I WOULD EVER SAY THAT TO ANYBODY)

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 09:59:41

sorry my caps locked

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 10:00:42

why is it always a 'little' job?

it used to be follwed by to earm some pin money shock

Mrswellyboot Tue 18-Mar-14 10:01:39

I am not a Sahp but I can tell you that that women knew rightly she is rude

I work but the people I work with are also very rude at times. If someone leans over you will hear 'ooh, she is wearing stretchy trousers, she must be expecting' etc etc

Pregnant - oh you're boobs are so big, you are MASSIVE

The older I get, the more I see a lack of tact in people and it isn't confined to the school gates. You could go to work and meet people as rude.

PooroldJumbo Tue 18-Mar-14 10:01:50

Whiteblossom - (I work p/t so have a foot in both camps) in fairness working parents do that too.

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