To be totally hacked off with the bride and groom?

(225 Posts)
Sarah2506 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:49:11

So we are meant to be off to a wedding in Scotland next month. Quite an undertaking as we live in London and have seven month DD, but they are good friends so we booked flights, a non refundable hotel and arranged to drop DD with MIL for the whole weekend as it's a child free wedding. Fine. Actually looking forward to it as first weekend away, yay!

Then today we get an email saying that, 'unfortunately we've had to make the difficult decision to put the wedding back to the autumn. We were struggling to pay for the wedding on time and think it would just be better to delay a few months so that we can save a bit more and do it properly. We hope you understand and can make the rearranged date'.

Is this reasonable? We've paid out 500 quid in flights and hotel which we won't get back. Travel insurance doesn't cover it as it counts as disinclination to travel. The flights can't be changed- or rather they can but it costs as much as buying new ones! I'm on maternity leave, I'm not being paid, I've no desire to travel to Scotland for the weekend anyway and we won't be able to pay out for the rearranged wedding as well. I feel really sad that we might now not be able to go.

AIBU?

Monetbyhimself Mon 13-Jan-14 19:50:04

They can PISS right off!

Monetbyhimself Mon 13-Jan-14 19:51:03

Go and enjoy your lovely weekend and send them a set if towelscwhen they eventually tie the knot.

volvocowgirl Mon 13-Jan-14 19:51:30

Nope you're not. Sounds a bit weird. They must have known before now surely?

Could you go anyway for a weekend away and just tell the bride and groom you can't afford to do it twice and not go to the wedding?

Greenfircone Mon 13-Jan-14 19:51:34

Yanbu! Poor you. Just have a nice trip to Scotland and don't go to the wedding.

Preciousbane Mon 13-Jan-14 19:51:54

It is very odd, I wonder if their relationship is going down the pan.

I would go away for the weekend, where in Scotland?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 13-Jan-14 19:52:56

That is bang out of order. Presumably you're not the only ones now in this position?

CHJR Mon 13-Jan-14 19:53:09

At least they're trying not to be ridiculous spendthrifts. Sounds like they are sorry and didn't mean to do this to their friends, so try not to blame them. But don't feel guilty if you can't go to the rebooked wedding.

YouTheCat Mon 13-Jan-14 19:53:33

I'll bet there'll be others they've pissed right off too. Go and have a lovely weekend and tell them you won't be going to the wedding as you are spent up.

LittleMissGerardButlersMinion Mon 13-Jan-14 19:54:08

You should go and have a lovely weekend anyway, and not go to the rearranged date, you have paid for the stuff and won't get your money back, so you might as well use it rather than waste it.

You are not unreasonable not to go, it's not your fault they rearranged is it?

Say unfortunately we struggled to afford coming the first time, and as we cannot get a refund, we cannot afford to pay out again?

Ragwort Mon 13-Jan-14 19:54:10

Totally rude, I think you should still go and have the weekend in Scotland as you won't get your money back but definately decline the 'new date' and explain why.

Iwannalaylikethisforever Mon 13-Jan-14 19:54:25

Selfish people.
I wouldn't go to the rescheduled wedding
Absolutely out of order

It's unreal that they are only telling you a month before. Surely they will have known for some time that it was too expensive?

Only1scoop Mon 13-Jan-14 19:54:29

It's next month! I imagine there are quite a few out of pocket guests....awful hmm

SecretSix Mon 13-Jan-14 19:55:00

I would be really peed off, that's an awful thing to do a month before when people are travelling.

Not a lot you can do, it's their decision, but I'd tell them you probably won't be able to afford to attend when they reschedule.

MaxPepsi Mon 13-Jan-14 19:55:04

Have a nice weekend away. It's paid for anyway.

I doubt you'll have a dilemma later in the year as they won't end up getting married.

Catsmamma Mon 13-Jan-14 19:55:33

How fucking rude??

AND I'd email that right back and say that they should manage quite well to pay for their postponed wedding cos they'll have pee'd off all their friends and no one will be able to afford to come, so the guest list will be way smaller.

that' just about takes the giddy biscuit. really! I am furious on your behalf!!

Go and have a lovely time with your dh and send them a dog eared card full of shitey tinsel confetti when the do get wed.

Procrastreation Mon 13-Jan-14 19:55:43

Um - unless theres been fire/flood/ bereavement / illness in the family - I see big neon lights spelling out: D-I-V-O-R-C-E .

Enjoy your trip - & consider yourself spared from watching people go through the motions when they don't really believe in it themselves anymore.

They are WELL out of order! Cancelling at a months notice is very poor form.

Why don't you go anyway? Go and have a baby break, nice hotel and dinners out - it'll be great!

Also, tell the bride and groom they can stick their next invite.

Sarah2506 Mon 13-Jan-14 19:55:54

Yeah they did know before Christmas but wanted to wait to see if the family could help them out financially, and they discussed it with them over the holidays. I don't really want to go anyway. I'm going back to work soon and would rather have the time with DD. Can't really take her with us as the plans were all based on leaving her, and going to an airport near MIL and not near us.

Hissy Mon 13-Jan-14 19:56:10

Go! Enjoy the weekend and excuse yourselves from the wedding!

They'll understand.

Just as they've expected you to understand their situation.

BrownSauceSandwich Mon 13-Jan-14 19:56:24

Wow, I've never heard of anybody doing that. I can only assume they're in pretty serious financial trouble, but of course you're not being unreasonable. It'd have been better form for them to cancel the expensive stuff, hire the church hall, and make the most of the family and friends who have already forked out to be there... You sure as hell won't be the only ones.

Hissy Mon 13-Jan-14 19:57:08

Seriously, GO!

tudorqueen Mon 13-Jan-14 19:57:52

Look at it as an excuse for a lovely weekend away and spend the money that you would have spent on outfits/presents on a nice meal for the two of you. It does sound very short notice, surely everything would have been paid for/had deposit put down already? Maybe this wedding won't materialise in the autumn.....

Only1scoop Mon 13-Jan-14 19:58:30

Go have a nice break in Scotland....seems a shame to waste the flights etc....

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