not an aibu, please calm me down

(116 Posts)
squiberoo27 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:48:21

Brief background:

Mother is a functioning alcoholic but refuses to see any problem. Father has suffered ill health for many years, is treated like shit by my mother but remains completely loyal to her.

Mother phones me drunk today telling me what a wonderful day she's had with an old friend basically drinking. I enquire where my father was and she says last night they had an argument, he took an overdose, left the house and hasn't seen him since. I have phoned everywhere, everyone I can think of, hospitals, police, nothing.

I have never met anyone as selfish and self absorbed as my mother. I hate her. I am worried sick for my father.

Silverfoxballs Sat 31-Aug-13 22:51:11

I can't imagine how worried you are, yes she sounds horrific.

Do you have numbers for any friends or other relatives?

SayCoolNowSayWhip Sat 31-Aug-13 22:51:38

Didn't want to read and run. So sorry to hear this sad Hope you find your father and that he's ok. I'm guessing he doesn't have a mobile or anything? Do they live nearby, somewhere you can drive round to look for him?

pinktransit Sat 31-Aug-13 22:51:49

I'm so sorry - it sounds like a terrible situation.

But, please, do take comfort from the fact that hospitals and police aren't aware of him.
This really does probably mean that he is fine and staying with a friend, and is just keeping out of her way.

I really hope that you find him soon.

I'm sorry that I can't be any more help than that. xx

Scrubber Sat 31-Aug-13 22:51:55

Are the police looking? You must be frantic. [holds hand]

ArgyMargy Sat 31-Aug-13 22:52:23

Why post in AIBU then? Go & find your father.

squiberoo27 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:53:43

Ive tried his mobile loads of times, just goes on to voicemail. I have four young children and my husband is overseas working, I wouldn't even know where to begin looking, he doesn't really have friends. I just don't know what to do.

squiberoo27 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:55:07

Argy ive got 4 young children to look after and no one to leave them with, two of them have been ill this week.

BrianTheMole Sat 31-Aug-13 22:56:05

Fuck. I'm sorry op. How bloody horrendous. Can you get back to your mother and find out where he may have gone?

squiberoo27 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:57:55

Well her words to me earlier when I said so where is he now after she told me about the overdose were 'I don't know and I don't give a fuck'. There's no point trying with her.

SeaSickSal Sat 31-Aug-13 22:58:42

Poor you and poor your Dad. Is there any way you could get over there and see if he has left anything like a letter. Or if there is any indication of what medication he has taken and how much? If you can give that info to the police it might put a rocket up their arses.

mashpot Sat 31-Aug-13 22:59:15

Really sorry OP, I agree that you would probably know if he ended up in hospital though, and it sounds as though what your mum says may not be entirely accurate?

Sorry I don't have anything helpful to suggest, do try and rest and hopefully he will call you tomorrow

BrianTheMole Sat 31-Aug-13 23:01:31

Has he gone off in his car somewhere? What have the police said?

Buddhagirl Sat 31-Aug-13 23:01:59

Call the police yourself? Call your mother and ask for more info? She might be lying.

You must be frantic, I've been there. Ask what he Od on.BVery useful info.

This may well turn out ok and your dad is fine x

Celadorhasacatandawaveequation Sat 31-Aug-13 23:04:29

Argymargy I think the OP has come here for unbiased support, not criticism hmm.

OP, please call friends and any family you have and ask them to help. I'd also call hotels and hostels and see if he's found somewhere to stay.

Good luck, I really hope you find him soon flowers.

MissMuesli Sat 31-Aug-13 23:05:40

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing for your m

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Sat 31-Aug-13 23:06:08

Could you not tell the police he has taken an overdose so could they track where his phone is? If that's even possible..... Clutching at straws here.... Good luck x

MissMuesli Sat 31-Aug-13 23:06:21

*mother to do and say, you must be worried sick. I have everything crossed that its a misunderstanding and your dad is ok x

LEMisdisappointed Sat 31-Aug-13 23:08:22

please call the police, give them details of your dads car overdose can lead to delayed but serious organ damage, you need to find him. Of course this is assuming your mum is correct (hopefully she is mistaken and he has just left, that would explain why his phone is off)

ArgyMargy Sat 31-Aug-13 23:11:05

Didn't mean to sound harsh, just wondered why post in AIBU, where sympathy & support are often in short supply!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Sat 31-Aug-13 23:12:50

I'm so sorry, must be awful - surely the police would take this seriously??

I really hope you get some good news soon - is it possible your mum's drunkenly exaggerating things...? <also clutching at straws>

Here to hand hold too.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 31-Aug-13 23:13:54

Argy people do that because there's a LOT of traffic and help arrives instantly. OP I hope he's ok .xx

mummymeister Sat 31-Aug-13 23:14:40

Horrible situation. speak to the police and also local a and es to see if he has been brought in. any known haunts? do you have family, neighbour or a friend that can help. get him back safe, keep him with you and then in the morning get him away from this destructive woman. you will find him OP and I am sure he will be alright. just hang in there. get the police to support you though they are usually good at this.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sat 31-Aug-13 23:15:45

You didn't sound harsh.

You sounded like a total bitch.

You know why she posted in AIBU - it's the only place that gets any traffic - especially on a Saturday night.

Just because it doesn't often get a lot of 'Ah there there' posts, decent people will rally around on threads like this - but you always get one who just has to have a dig.

Just because it's AIBU it doesn't mean you HAVE to be a bitch.

TiredDog Sat 31-Aug-13 23:16:17

Op - are the police conducting a search?

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