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...when receiving a CRAP mother's day gift (from the husband)...

(187 Posts)
OvenReady Sun 10-Mar-13 10:53:15

I cried.

We've had a tough couple of years (PND, social services, 2 miscarriages yada yada yada) so I kind of hoped this MD would be special. My DS is 2 so has no say in the card and gift giving.

The gift? "Hairy Dieters Cookbook".

I cried, and slowly pushed away the pancakes from breakfast.
sad

mycatoscar Sun 10-Mar-13 11:34:07

My husband and dd asked me what wine I like and got me to write it down. THey then spent hours wandering round 3 supermarkets looking for a bottle of "Pinot Grigio blanc or ferrero rocher" grin I had put ferrero rocher on the paper as an alternative to the wine lol.

Op I think your husband either thought you'd like it, or didn't read the title properly. It probably bold down to shopping in a hurry or misplaced best intentions rather than him trying to upset you. But dh has done similar in the past so I can imagine how you felt. Hope the rest of your day gets better x

somuchforanindiansummer Sun 10-Mar-13 11:34:51

OP, I think you are getting a bit of a hard time. But don't take it to heart, on another day this thread would have been entirely different (and full of light hearted 'crap gifts' stories). I totally see how a diet book could be taken the wrong way, tis not very thoughtful, especially if you have self esteem issues atm. Do you think he was being unkind or 'just' thoughtless? Anyway, I have found the best way to have a good mother's day is to not expect too much grin Now get him to make you a cup of tea/lunch and put your feet up

Branleuse Sun 10-Mar-13 11:35:12

you're not your husbands mother.

FredFredGeorge Sun 10-Mar-13 11:35:26

DH clearly knows this

Either he doesn't, and you just think he does, or he hates you.

Don't you think the first is much more likely? Most people really can't be bothered to be cruel and would've just ignored mothers day than got a gift designed to be hurtful, especially as it't not immediately obvious that it would.

Talk to him about why it wasn't an appreciated gift, also, stop "slaving" over food, cook simpler easier things for everyone.

vamosbebe Sun 10-Mar-13 11:35:28

So, in future, don't ask for/expect a gift.
DS is 15mo so I don't expect anything from him, DH made a 'pretend it's from DS' card with a squiggly X in place of his name, very sweet.
Don't get gifts, don't understand the need for gifts, it's all a bit grabby. Unless it's been made, of course.
We just spend a lovely day together.
I think Mother's Day/Father's Day is like Valentine's Day: if you appreciate each other all year round, why bother?

Heck, that's just my opinion, but you did ask. I think yabu. If your DP consistently gets it wrong then tell him, guide him, or put up with it!

FredFredGeorge Sun 10-Mar-13 11:36:58

Growlithe If it's a century old holiday in this country then it's about returning to your mother church (which is also likely where your mother still attends but that's incidental) The origins are not about buying gifts or showing appreciation to your wife.

I don't think it's a rubbish gift. I would have liked it. I got chocolates from the kids which they've all eaten. And I ordered myself a top from ASOS.

ike1 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:40:47

Grow up. Try being a single parent without your kids or supposed partner on mother's day. Sorry to be harsh but there it is.

Losingexcessweight Sun 10-Mar-13 11:41:23

It's my first Mother's Day today, I didn't get a present, I did get a card off my dh though.

I got my own mother a card, present and card and present for her from my dd.

I joking asked dh were my present was this morning only to be told Mother's Day isn't for giving gifts, and apparently I give gifts out too often in my family!

Mind you, dh has been brought up not to give cards and gifts for any occassion, his own mother who he speaks to daily hasn't sent him a card or gift for his birthday or Christmas in years and years.

So I can understand why he didn't automatically get me a gift for Mother's Day.

mercibucket Sun 10-Mar-13 11:41:31

I'd have also been pissed off, op. I'm, as always, amazed by all the women on here quite happy to get a dieting book as a gift from anyone. Mil does this to me every year. She can piss off.

Anyhow, that aside, it is actually a great cook book so put it on the shelves and bring it back out in a year or two when life has settled down a bit

My kids are old enough now to do little pressies, so cute, but I was just thinking today about this. Dh has improved greatly over the years at directing mother's day gifts. This year, he helped them make a cake, which is awesome as a present. But it was back in the early years when I really needed to feel my role as a mum was treasured and appreciated. I was knackered, sleep deprived, depressed, and got naff all. I wish we could all make more fuss of the new mums and not give them such a hard time xx

D0G Sun 10-Mar-13 11:44:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CocacolaMum Sun 10-Mar-13 11:44:18

I must admit I did turn to DH this morning and say "sooo where are we going for lunch?" the look on his face when for a moment he thought I actually wanted for us to have to go and sit in some overcrowded overpriced eatery I could see the panic of "oooh shit I havent booked..."

was so precious HAHAHAAA

Wonder what a lot of those who complain about what their DH gets them "on behalf of" their DCs get their DH "on behalf of" their DCs on Father's Day. I bet half the dads probably find whatever it is is rubbish too.

coribells Sun 10-Mar-13 11:45:06

CRAP GIFT- a copy of the radio times with 'Miranda ' on the front ( because I like Miranda) WTF? shock I did get flowers and am being taken out for lunch though.

True enough. Mothers Day has become about the card and the gift. I get them every year and then spend the day cooking and cleaning. I'd rather not have the pressie and spend time lounging on the sofa with the children or going out and doing something with them. (Caveat - this years pressie was very very nice).
If you want thoughtless. The first mothers day after my mum died, hubby asked if I could pop out and buy a card and a gift for his mum!! I think he was genuinely confused by my reaction........

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 10-Mar-13 11:47:32

Arf @ Radio Times! grin

I think you win Coribells, please frame it and put it in the bathroom!

You should make it a family tradition and spend the year collecting Radio Times with various favourite programme covers to give out at Christmas!

ike1 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:51:18

I sort of get the slight 'uncomfortable' thing on getting a diet book for mother's day. But I find the OP's behaviour of 'slowly pushing away pancakes' really horrible actually..would have loved, loved that...sod the diet book..always handy...maybe invite DH to indulge in a spot of cooking from it!

mercibucket Sun 10-Mar-13 11:53:23

Op, can I suggest you block this thread and take yourself over to the other thread about crap presents that just started, so you can have a bit of a laugh about it instead. Have a good rest of the day and don't let this spoil it.

notnagging Sun 10-Mar-13 11:55:03

My husband has obviously exhausted himself with Mother's Day and is fast asleep in bed! I too got a crap cheap gift. He told me he found a crap bags for a fiver shop so he was going to get one for his mum. So guess what I got too?
I'm off to the shops, then a walk, then I'm going to get loads of cheap girly films and watch them by myself with a tub if icecream while he takes our 5 ds' to his mums.grin

ike1 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:57:24

Yeah ...if you want to laugh about it ...start the thread with that as your frame of reference...unfortunately at the moment you are coming across as self indulgent.

notnagging Sun 10-Mar-13 11:58:41

Btw I would've loved that book & I thought the tv series was good. I'm doing 5:2 & I really like it. Have lost almost a stone & feel much better overall.smile

ike1 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:58:58

Yeah notnagging with the bags...

ike1 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:59:31

That's fab notnagging well done!!!

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 10-Mar-13 12:00:13

Thing is sometimes people have spent a large portion of their time going on about their diet/exercise regeime/desire to lose weight. I can see how a decent cookery book would seem like a good idea - especially if you know the person has watched the series to go with it.

I wouldn't risk chocolates or wine on a person who was trying to diet or blatently unhappy about their weight, or clothes tbh. You get your clues for what to buy people by listening to them, if you talk about certain things a lot, the less observant amongst us will buy something related to that i.e. rave about your new kitchen = kitchen related tat.

That's nothing to do with how much someone cares, it's just their personal thought process. Not everybody is particularly talented at turning their feelings for you into a gift they think you'll enjoy. Twee, but it really is the thought that counts, nevermind the lack of brain processing power behind it.

notnagging Sun 10-Mar-13 12:00:41

Are you referring to me ike? hmm

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