to detest the poems requesting money as a wedding gift?

(294 Posts)
Moominlandmidwinter Tue 05-Feb-13 14:38:26

We've been invited to three weddings in the last year. Each invitation has included a vomit-inducing poem about how the bride and groom want money as a wedding gift. Is there really any need? I didn't have a gift list or any other kind of mention about what we would like included with the invitations when I married three years ago. We found that the majority of guests gave us money or vouchers anyway. It just feels so grabby. Will stick a fiver in the card though wink.

BadLad Mon 23-Mar-15 01:46:21

She also did an old 'Scottish tradition' (that this Scot has never heard of) which involved the men giving her money to lift her dress and the women giving her money to put it down.

LOL. Why does everyone else on here know more colourful people than I do?

YABU OP. I love money poems, the more cringeworthy the better. If I had had a wedding, writing the poem would have been the planning stage I would have volunteered to do.

derxa Sun 22-Mar-15 12:21:04

Ode To Greed And Rapacity ! Mentioned this thread to DH and he came up with this.

pgagilc Sun 22-Mar-15 11:24:20

Zombie thread maybe but shame to cry on someone else's party No?

gamerchick Sun 22-Mar-15 11:23:09

Why are all these threads being bumped up?

TheWitTank Sun 22-Mar-15 11:22:41

Thread from 2013...

ByeByeButterfly Sun 22-Mar-15 11:20:21

Everyone on MN seems to hate them. I find them meh but just get on with it.

We are having no poem but that's our choice.

CuttedUpPear Sun 22-Mar-15 11:18:59

ZOMBIE THREAD

pgagilc Sun 22-Mar-15 11:15:07

Just to remind folks, it is a priviledge to be invited to someones wedding, it isn't YOUR wedding you are being invited to its a young couple at start of a long journey who may not be blessed with the money you started your journey with. Hence if they wish to express their own personal preference for a wedding gift surely that's up to them, and if they choose a wee "twee" poem to ask for this in a nice way its merely to soften the blow a bit when inviting "Miserable" guests like you.

Yes, granted. In which case "give money only if you can" should be strongly stated. But that principle should apply to gifts also.

Arabesque1 Fri 22-Nov-13 11:24:46

I think most people do give money nowadays for that reason Pumpkin. But if someone's a bit hard up it can be a bit embarassing to be blatantly told that cash gifts only are wanted. At least, when you're buying a present, you can buy something inexpensive but which looks as if it cost more, or recycle an unwanted gift or think of something creative and meaningful.

The poems are beyond naff and I get people's visceral reaction to being blatantly asked for money. But so many couples live together before they marry these days and already have the traditional household wedding gifts aplenty anyway. What's the point of ending up with 50 x rolling pin? It's just a waste of money.

BoosterBondageSapphire Fri 22-Nov-13 10:45:50

I have reported your post shaylfc9

sparechange Fri 22-Nov-13 10:30:24

Elephant, outside of MN world, giftlists are fine and normal and I've never heard anyone moan about them.

The vast majority of department stores will have a bit on their website where you enter your names plus a code to get access to the giftlist, so just say which shop it is and what your code is and people will work it out from there.

The advantage of a store list is that you can chose when they are delivered, so you don't have a mamouth task at the end of the evening of having to lug everything home with you. Particularly useful if you are going straight off on a honeymoon!

WaitMonkey Fri 22-Nov-13 10:23:28

Zombie thread ! confused

BadLad Fri 22-Nov-13 09:59:04

I love reading the poems when people post them. I suppose it's similar to the amusement I get from watching Alan Partridge. I always pounce on a gift list thread I see.

KristinaM Fri 22-Nov-13 09:47:57

I like gift lists. Because I have no imagination and no taste. I am very happy to be able to choose something online and know that it's just what the couple wanted.

If they don't have a gift list I send a cheque or vouchers.

When I was more hard up I would just have bought a gift I could afford, if everything On the list was too expensive

shaylfc9 Fri 22-Nov-13 09:27:36

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shaylfc9 Fri 22-Nov-13 09:25:39

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Tavv Sun 22-Sep-13 19:28:28

It's impolite to mention gifts at all in an invitation. Asking for money is even worse.

Aniceperson Sun 22-Sep-13 19:18:52

If you really like the person who's wedding you are going too then you wouldn't really mind if they send out a poem or gift list. After all you should want the best for that couple. If you do not then I'm wondering why you were invited in the first place!! I'm sick of folk moaning about what right and what is not right to do!! The couple who are getting married have chosen a comfortable place entertainment food and sometimes drink and often transport to get you there so why moan about a poem. Go ahead buy them something they don't like and watch it getting sold on gum tree the following week! Cos that's what I would do!!

Aniceperson Sun 22-Sep-13 17:37:21

If you really like the person who's wedding you are going too then you wouldn't really mind if they send out a poem or gift list. After all you should want the best for that couple. If you do not then I'm wondering why you were invited in the first place!! I'm sick of folk moaning about what right and what is not right to do!! The couple who are getting married have chosen a comfortable place entertainment food and sometimes drink and often transport to get you there so why moan about a poem. Go ahead buy them something they don't like and watch it getting sold on gum tree the following week! Cos that's what I would do!!

christine44 Wed 18-Sep-13 19:29:09

Hate being asked for cash. Makes me feel we are paying for our seat at the wedding

clarasebal Wed 18-Sep-13 19:12:56

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SleepyFish Tue 27-Aug-13 13:55:16

I think it's entirely up to individual couples whether they invite children. But for me children are part of the family too and make a wedding more fun.
Other than the expense the main reason I'm not attending is because I have no childcare. All my babysitters will be at the wedding which is unreachable by public transport. The transport laid on leaves at 11.30am and returns at 1am!

MummyMUMMY87 Tue 27-Aug-13 13:47:20

How about setting up a 'gift list' on a website, however when guests log on, it's a list of things you already own :P

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