Mumsnet Talk

DS just 18 - not had a serious girlfriend - didn't know he had one now. Just dropped him and in the car (I know, I know - he's 18 and has his own car but he's partying and he was late) he announced "I might bring a girl home tonight" I said really and where will she sleep and he said in his room. I said "I didn't know you had a girlfriend" and he said they had a bit of a thing going and I know he's had sex so what's the issue.

He took me by surprise and I said no because we don't know her, we don't know anything about her and it needs to be properly discussed with dad as well as with me. He was a bit meh said thank God he would be at uni soon but took it quite well and said thank you for the lift. I did say that if she came back with him that was fine but it was on the understanding that she slept in the guest room and he slept in his bedroom and didn't visit the guest room.

Oh bugger. What to do? He has a 14 year old sister and not sure I'm ready for this out of the blue. Fraaaaaaank are you there?

I think you've been pretty fair about this to be honest. I don't think it would be great for your DD to have strange females appearing out of his bedroom in the morning.

Out of respect for his family, I'd say that it -might- be ok for somebody that he was in a long term relationship with and whom the family have met and know...but no strangers!

Goodness, there are a lot of teenage boys with girls tonight, I am going to lock mine up

Well, you've said she can stay now so you either have to text him and say you've rethought and you'd rather she didn't come at all or live with it. I wouldn't have allowed it myself.

Oh FFS what is it teenagers tonight

your house , your rules

you arent running a hotel either.

Annunziata I said if she came back with him she was to sleep in the guest room. That wasn't his intention initially.

I'd have been tempted to be deeply coarse to show my displeasure. And essentially played hell at his assumption that I was running a knocking shop.
<unclutches pearls and smooths twinset>

I think it's a bit cheeky as you haven't even met her. It's a bit one night standish which is fine in his own place but seems somehow wrong at your parents (ie yours).
Would make for a very uncomfortable morning over breakfast !

Yes but did you really expect her to stay in the guest room? Really?

I don't think he would stay in his room if she was in the guest room.

I wouldn't mind an 18 year old having a steady girlfriend over stay, but not one that I hadn't even met or heard of.

I second that, Annun

Think it's rude to insist you be allowed anyone home with out asking first. Does he pay rent?

"this is not a hotel"

I'd have said no too. Long term girlfriend or boyfriend I knew and had met, maybe. One night stand/fling, nope.

I agree; although I doubt it's a one night stand. I also don't think he would visit the guest room because he knows the extent we would embarass him if he did. On that basis I don't think he will bring her back but I'll let you know tomorrow if he does.

Also agree we need to know the girl first. He does bring friends home sometimes without warning but they are lads we have known since they were eight or nine on the whole - so yes, this is different because we don't even know the girl's name.

Anyway DH is home now and has agreed with what I did at the same time as have chuckling away. DD's h'penny's worth is "FGS you two you are always wanting to know what he's up and when you get the chance to find out, you say no, no - keep away".

whilst deffo sitting on the fence re this one>the breakfast scene from "trainspotting" springs to mind..most uncomfortable, no, i am off fence ! would have had to take your approach miw.

Err, I think I would let him.

LOl @ your house your rules and are you running a hotel.

Hes 18, an adult.

Hello *usual*. It just took me by surprise - whizzed at me like a bloody curve ball - didn't know what to say.

You don't tell your mum you will be bringing a girl home, how rude! All he had to do was ask politely, it's his home, but it's your house.

and as an 18 year old adult should respect the rules of the house he's living in rent free... sounds like he did too.
I think adults should respect each others privacy. My house is my private domain and I reserve the right not to have people I don't know seeing me in the morning in my dressing gown.
proper introduction first/ quiet shagging and changing your own sheets-perfect!

spare room is fine, he might sneak in but as long and no one wakes up... who hasn't done something similar? at 18 is nit that bad... but I agree he should show respect ans ask her to stay in spare room.

usual he's 18, but he's not the householder. It was rude- did he not have an idea what you'd say? I'm certain my 12 yo DS would know what my opinion is likely to be in 6 years time...

on a second thought, have you thought that if they wanted ro have sex they can manage that anywhere and maybe they just want to sleep together? literally, just cuddling??

Having said that I think I'll operate a sneek around and use the spare room please.

It's tricky because we have, on the whole, welcomed everyone into our home and it is a home where people tend to drop by - our friends and the children's and we give people a welcome.