Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To not try DHs soup

(110 Posts)
peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Jan-13 20:08:07

My DH was quite rude about my cooking yesterday. He is a really fussy eater (he doesnt even like his own mother's cooking). Every other month he suddenly goes off a certain type of food that I cook which he had previously been eating quite happily. This puts me in a predicament because Im suddenly not able to make a dish that I have learnt and perfected because he just wont eat it. Before it was spaghetti bolognaise. Yesterday he declared that he doesnt like rice anymore (well unless I can make him biryani - the cheek!). Anyway after a very heated discussion DH said that he would cook today and he decided to make soup. My DH has no clue how to cook by the way and after glimpsing how he made it (just banging all the vegetables and meat in and leaving it to boil for about 30 mins) I really dont feel like trying it especially since he added lamb to it which I really dont think is cooked properly through. I am still a bit annoyed about his comment yesterday (that I cook the same couple of dishes all the time, this is regardless of the fact that the only thing he knows how to make is fried eggs for breakfast). I have a 4 month old ds and dont have the time (or inclination) to learn new recipes. Normally the few times he does attempt to make dinner I always eat it and am pleasant about it. But today I want to demonstrate my displeasure about what he said yesterday. AIBU to put burgers and chips in the oven for my dinner and boycott his probably poisonous soup.

quoteunquote Thu 10-Jan-13 20:12:43

Taste it and let him know exactly how it is, review it.

and get him a few cookery lessons.

as for "not liking" food put in front of you, that is just bad manners. `

tinkertitonk Thu 10-Jan-13 20:15:30

Your DH is being infuriating.

Your DS will be worse.

"...dont have the time (or inclination) to learn new recipes." Come off it, it's cooking, not quantum mechanics.

AnaisB Thu 10-Jan-13 20:18:32

Your sh sounds intensely frustrating, but i think you need to be the bigger person here.

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Jan-13 20:18:38

The thing that annoys me the most is that he will attempt to eat other people's cooking even if it contains something he really doesn't like but when it comes to something I've made he just won't eat it ifhe doesn't like it. He doesn't even like my mum's food and she is amazing at cooking. People even ask her to cater for their events she's that good. But not for fussy eater Dh. I'm just worried ds will be like him in that regard.

Pandemoniaa Thu 10-Jan-13 20:20:50

Your dh sounds about as easy to feed as a fussy toddler, tbh. It'd drive me mad, especially if he's not capable of cooking properly himself. I'm not sure what the solution is but I would at least taste the soup before heading down the burger and chips option.

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Jan-13 20:31:29

Please don't say that tinker. I don't know how I will come if ds is the same.

'Not quantum mechanics'

I know that. I do know how to cook by the way (my mum told me I'm good grin). I just don't know what is left to make if rice and pasta us taken off the list.

To give you more indication of how he is like.

He asks me to make upside down pineapple cake but then picks our all the pineapple.

When I make stir frys he picks out all the vegetables.

He has started doing this really annoying thing where he eats the curry sauce but leaves the rice behind.

He previously used to beg me to make him coconut cake, then he wanted chocolate cake and lastly a strawberry and icing one. Now he won't eat any of them if I make them.

These are just a few examples there are loads more.

peacefuloptimist Thu 10-Jan-13 20:32:18

*cope blush

soupmaker Thu 10-Jan-13 20:35:56

Bloody hell. He sounds utterly ridiculous. Please stop pandering to this nonsense and tell him to eat the bits he likes and leave the rest. Hope your DC is easier to feed than your DP. Try the soup to show willing.

DoubleMum Thu 10-Jan-13 20:38:44

Well personally I would ignore your DH's 'likes' and 'dislikes' and tell him if he's going to change his mind all the time he can cook for himself. I'm afraid if my DH asked me to cook a pineapple cake and then picked out the pineapple I would not be cooking him another cake again. Just concentrate on feeding yourself and your DS and shielding DS from the extreme fussiness.
I would try his soup though - throwing things in a pan and boiling them is pretty much how you make soup! Don't play his childish games.

edam Thu 10-Jan-13 20:41:09

He sounds like a very annoying toddler. FFS. Let him cook for himself if he wants to be so petulant about it.

Sounds a bit passive aggressive tbh.

I mean, if hes that fussy you arent able to make a variety of recipes and quite rightly stick to things you know he likes. But then, he "declares" he wont even eat those things and somehow its your fault.

Also, the picking out of things he has specifically asked for is just plain bad manners. He sounds like a disrespectful cunt.

ElectricMonkBelievesInSanta Thu 10-Jan-13 20:42:49

YANBU about his eating issues, YWBU not to try his soup though (unless you genuinely think you'd be at a real risk of food poisoning), as you would be undermining your own argument by rejecting food that somebody has spent time making for you because you don't fancy it. Try it and leave it if it's horrible.

You can't control your husband's eating, but by the same token he shouldn't be able to dictate what you cook to this extent. It's inconsiderate, childish, unappreciative and it sets a very bad example to your son (especially since it sounds like your DH's diet is very unbalanced).

If I were you, I'd buy and cook meals for you and your son. Run the meal plan by your DH at the beginning of the week, and he can let you know which meals he wants to eat with you so you know to make 3 portions rather than 2. He can also add whatever he wants to the list for himself to prepare and eat, with the caveat that it stays within a budget and you won't buy any more until he's eaten everything he asked for.

Anonymumous Thu 10-Jan-13 20:43:20

Isn't that how you make soup? Banging in all the vegetables and meat and boiling it up? That's exactly how I make chicken stock, although admittedly I do simmer it for hours rather than boiling it for 30 minutes. And when I have too many frozen chicken stock cubes already, I just add some tomato puree and tomatoes and turn it into soup instead.

tinkertitonk Thu 10-Jan-13 20:47:00

Ah. I see. We are talking about a somewhat unusual DH here.

DS won't be so unusual, probably. But his likes and dislikes will change, all the time and unpredictably. Just shrug your shoulders, because he will eat something and will not starve despite all the finger-picking and microsurgery on his food. And I know whereof I speak: DD is nearly 18, still conducts microsurgery and the only things she can be relied upon to eat are her father's porridge and extremely expensive steak.

As for DH, just cook food. Not quantum-mechanical food, just food. And then do not care whether DH eats it, or any of it. This means giving up on the idea that rejecting it is bad manners, or that cooking it is an expression of love. Find other routes for that. Unless there are further issues.

ihearsounds Thu 10-Jan-13 20:47:10

Very simple solution, he doesnt like what you cook, dont cook anymore for him. Why waste time, effort and money on someone who is being ridiculous. He is being very unreasonable saying stuff like I dont like rice, but I will eat a biryani.

As for the soup, thats how its made.. Soup/stew/casserole, chuck everything in a pan, cover with liquid and cook. One of the reasons why I like it.

RubyGates Thu 10-Jan-13 20:47:32

This isn't going to end like the meatball thread is it?

lottiegarbanzo Thu 10-Jan-13 20:53:18

Try it, brazen it out, is he going to like his own soup? It's possible he may be very grateful for whatever you cook tomorrow. Conversely, if he isn't, you now know he is capable of cooking himself something he likes. Win win.

I really think you've been very accommodating, all that cake making by request makes you sound like a chef, cooking to order. He should have been very grateful, even if he found he didn't like them very much.

spatchcock Thu 10-Jan-13 21:00:20

He is being very silly, and you're pandering to him. If he wants a cake, he can learn how to make one. It's not difficult.

Why don't you just cook your usual meals. If he says he won't eat it, tough. He can make himself some toast. Put his portion back into the fridge and eat it as dinner the following night.

Tell him he knows the way to the kitchen and can make himself toast anything he likes from now on. You are going to cook for you and DS (when DS needs it) and that DH is to keep quiet about anything you make so that your son doesn't end up being fussy faddy spoiled and neurotic too.

DrHolmes Thu 10-Jan-13 21:06:59

Try the soup. If it's good tell him he can cook more often and then you won't be so stressed as to what to make.
Also, you say you dont know what to make if rice and pasta is off the list...mince and tatties, chicken stuffed with boursin wrapped in parma ham and some salad, fajitas, home made pizza, steak pie, gammon steak and an egg, omelette...to name but a few.
I wouldn't be cooking anything if my partner acted like that! Good luck!

StinkyWicket Thu 10-Jan-13 21:11:12

If that was my DH, I would be telling him to make his own food from now on.

Sounds like he is being fussy for fussy's sake tbh.

Bobyan Thu 10-Jan-13 21:25:25

How old is your DH? 4?
Just stop cooking for him, you're his partner not his servant.

OpheliasWeepingWillow Thu 10-Jan-13 21:28:09

Can he not cook for himself and be done with it?

Rikalaily Thu 10-Jan-13 21:30:08

Tell him that he either eats what you cook without comment or picking bits out or he can make his own food from now on.

In this house it's you get what you are given, it applies to everyone, eat it or go hungry.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now