Mumsnet Talk

Just that really. He always expects ME to sleep in it. Sometimes I would just like him to say 'Don t worry. You have the dry half'..

ewwwww.

I'd happily lay in the wet patch

its been a while

There's no need for a wet patch with a conveniently placed old tshirt or towel and a bit of wiggling

Alternatively you could orchestrate the....erm...positioning so that it ends up on DP's side

There's this cool new invention that stops this from occurring. They're called "tissues".

i would whip out a tape measure mid, erm, proceedings OP.

Yes, its his responsibility to lie in the wet patch.

<bangs gavel>

Bit cruel to go measuring his manhood during the deed Vicar

The dry HALF?! Just how big is this wet patch?

I feel inadequate now

And is this hypothetical, or are we actually getting the debate in real time and your poor but satisfied DP is lying there impatiently while you go on MN...

Agreed, Agnes. SP you must be a lot younger than me. I went right off sex when ex h had a vasectomy and came home proclaiming, "no more condoms"! Just another excuse for him to leave his mess in a place where I'd have to clean it up!

I'm not particularly fussed about the wet patch. I'll just visit their house then leave after and sleep in my own dry, clean bed

There is always the option of, ahem swallowing it... problem solved... :D

do it on his side, or lay on a bath towel (folded in half just in case). simple!

I just make sure I get myself to his side before he can get himself to my side. It becomes a bit of a competition, really. But a fun one!

Condoms. Problem solved.

Am I terribly uncool if I admit I have no idea what you're all talking about?

YANBU.

I have discovered I am actually v flexible and avoid the "patch" at all costs. Even if those costs involve knees.

stunt OP means cum,after sex etc. <helpful face>

@narked

Not solved. Ttc here! It's a messy business

Inlovewith. When me and DH were TTC, we ended up seeing a doctor. One of the first things he asked us was if we were using contraception. We were a bit taken aback.
He went on to tell us about a couple he'd seen who were using condoms otherwise 'it's a bit messy'

Ripsishere funnily enough we've been asked that too... As there was a couple that said they were ttc but were still using condoms

I've also had hospital appointments for other stuff and when asked about contraception, we get the look when we say none! Winds me up it does. I'm just waiting for the day someone gives me a lecture and I can act all smug

TTC using condoms?? WTF? I always seem to end up on the soggy side, have tried multiple wiggling and conniving, DP has offered to sleep on my side, but I can't sleep on the wrong side of the bed, why the fuck am I up at 4.30 talking cum patches?

When we got our new bed, I abolished "sides" so that no matter where we shagged, it was always on "his" side. No wet patch since <smug>

This has always baffled me. After sex, cover your vag with your hand, get up, and let it leak into the loo.
Why let it leak? Honest question!