To find it quite amusing how some people try to make out their average child is a genius?(220 Posts)
I've known a couple of people like this over the years but at the moment I have one friend in particular who does this loads, and tries to make everyone else convinced he is too.
I met her at a baby group. There are 8 of us all with DCs the same age (3). I have two older children too. She in convinced her DS is more intelligent than the other children in the group. She often does a round-robin type text to us all saying a question or statement her son is meant to have said, usually involving a very complicated word such as preposterous. And if he asks a question when we are at the group, as many of the 3 year olds do, she starts asking us if we heard his question, and saying what a clever question it was, then she answers questions using a very lengthy reply during which time he has generally walked off to play and doesn't listen anyway. Latest thing is her asking on her Facebook status if anyone knows any private tutors that will tutor a 3 year old as he is apparently marvellously curious about maths and science. And I've never known such a fuss over finding a school for a child. She's talked about nothing else for months and apparently it's far more difficult for her than anyone else as they have to be very careful about where they send their child.
I'd say that he is probably quite average, and very similar to the rest of the children in the group, including my DS. His speech just seems normal for a 3 year old, he walked at the same time as the other children, potty trained at a similar time. I never hear any of these wonderful anecdotes of speech that she writes about in texts when we meet up, and his speech whenever I see him is just the same as the other childrens' speech. He talks well, as they all seem to in the group, but certainly not like a child prodigy.
I know we are all proud of her children and think they are geniuses but she really does cross the line between thinking it and making a bit of an idiot of herself.
My SIL was a bit like this. It wore off when her (very sensible) ds got old enough to realise that this kind of parent was not a social asset. He has become very adept at gently deflating her and over the years her boasting has gradually dried up. Perhaps your friend's ds will be able to perform a similar service to his mum. It's insecurity that drives it. At one point SIL was even stressing because my dd was taller than her ds- well dd is almost a whole year older . She's still a lovely lady and has become more confident over the years.
I think we all know someone like this! I'm a tutor and recently had an enquiry from a parent of a TWO year old. Needless to say I declined in as polite a manner as I could muster. Poor child.
Sometimes this can be genuine amazement at the wonderful creature you have managed to produce. But it just flips over into madness
It can be insecurity as pp said
Or it can just be a carry on from someone's self obsessiveness. They were like that before kids so they just transfer some of it onto their poor kid!
Yanbu to find it amusing, you will meet many parents like this and the only thing you can do is laugh quietly to yourself and let them get on with it. I've got a friend who actually said about her toddler "I'm going to have such a hard job stimulating him as he gets older, it's alright for you
long pause so she didn't have to actually say the words your son is just average but *Bob is just so ridiculously clever. I was pretty
hopefully none of her friends have any developmental etc worries about their children, these text round robins may not go down v well if so!
Haha... I think you shoud stay friends with her for a very long time! It will be very interesting to see what this prodigy will turn grow up to be.... Decidedly average would be my guess.
Parents do eventually get over this "my kid is genius" phase. In the meantime just employ the time honoured smile and nod routine with the mother.
She'll be really embarrassed about this when her PFB is older and she realises what a fool she's been.
I have a friend who told me when I was pregnant with dd1 that she hoped i had "a thick one" as it would be much easier for me than having one like her ds.
Her ds is struggling at school (and is thankfully several years older than my dd's so can't compare) but both parents are convinced it is the school and not him. I feel a bit for all of them tbh.
YANBU. In my MG there's a lady with a DD a few weeks younger than mine. Apparently she's a prodigy. The most beautiful, the smartest, the most advanced...
She's really average. Sure, she's cute, but most 18mo's are cute. Hell, mine's the cutest on the planet
Most amusing of all is how she likes to tell the other mums (some of whom have many children, teenaged down to baby, and this is all old hat) how to raise their children to be whatever, and how to ensure that the teen years are easy and worry free.
Sit back and giggle, Op.
I think when he gets to school and she potentially comes across some truly gifted and talented children it might make her reign in her behaviour a little. I do think though that she's going to be one of those mothers that collars the teacher on a daily basis and insists that little Tarquin needs more demanding work or is getting bored at school or whatever.
Ach everybody knows somebody like this I know my children are obvious genuises or is it genui ignore let them think that their child is some sort of miracle to behold and leave them to it
My friend was the same with her DS..he is a day younger than my DS & she became very competitive with his development. She would put on FB all these things he would say & when we met for coffee..he never spoke except the general babble.(not just that odd occasion but on several) She didnt like that my DS could do puzzles etc... unfortunately when she took her DS to 'prove' he was gifted..they told her he had many developmental delays & she then went from 'my gifted child' to 'my poor child'. But of course we all rallied to offer any advice support we could to help.
Ah yes, I well remember the child in reception with DD1 whose mother made herself eternally popular at the classroom door by announcing that they were looking at private schools for Genius Child as she didn't feel the school would be able to cope with such a high-ability child as her son.
The only particular evidence of high ability that the rest of us had noticed was the ability to tear our living rooms apart in 10 seconds flat when brought round for a playdate by his doting mamma.
Who, incidentally, was so oblivious to his destructive little ways which she made no effort whatsoever to rein in, that once, when I was visiting another friend, she made me hide behind the sofa with her when we say doting mamma and her hooligan offspring coming up the front path.
Wankbadgers, the woman I know is just like that. She gives un-asked for advice and has an opinion on every area of parenting. I have two older children, one of whom is a teenager and she regularly tries to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing with regards to my teen. Even when we'd just had our babies she had plenty of advice for us all on how to look after our newborn. One of the first things she asked me was whether DS was sleeping through and I said no,he wasn't (he was 6 weeks old), and she said "You do realise you need to do night feeds in the dark to get them sleeping through don't you?"
I have 2 facebook friends who are really lovely and rational people , until it comes to their babies there is about 4/5 weeks between them we have had the sleep bragging the weaning bragging the I am sure my baby said daddy ( he was 5 months old) It is quite funny to watch
This isn't going to end well. (1st time I've said that LOL) as most mumsnet kids, especially the primary aged ones are terrible advanced for their aged and are not having their academic needs met at school.
Read the primary education threads....
Trouble is primary label 20% (IIRC) as G&T which can't be right can it? Just being in the top 1/5 of the class is normal ...
There is an awful lot of competitive baby parenting going on. From who sleeps through first and who walks first (as if that makes one iota of difference long term) to book bands etc
Tongue in cheek icon before I get flamed!
It is that awful type of funny with parents like that.
Sometimes though I am genuinely amazed at my dc, really really amazed they know and do certain things. I don't go round texting friends what they have done or said though
I think most parents are like this at first when they have their first child. As MrsDeVere said, part of this is just the amazement at this human you have produced and part is not having any other comparison when they are little. So they learn to do something new and you think, "Baby couldn't do that yesterday and no one taught them. They must be a GENIUS!" And then you meet up with friends who have kids the same age and find all their babies can all the new thing your baby can do. So I think by age 2 (of the child), most people will have gotten over this phase but some get stuck in it for longer or forever.
Seen this a lot. Generally the school and/or a specific teacher will get the blame if dc don't achieve their spectacular potential. It is not possible that maybe their child is merely average.
I think that's the thing isn't it Brandy? We all think our children are amazing and wonderful but we keep a sense of perspective and know we are proud of them because they are our child and we don't go round forcing our child's abilities down other peoples' throats.
I do find it all really amusing with my friend though and I tend to just listen away and smile, because I think sooner or later she will come down to earth with a bump.
Tongue in cheek icon before I get flamed!
we so need 1 of those the looks mad and the looks a bit iffy
Yes agree that some of it is just the wonder of a new baby and all the things that they naturally learn to do. I've been a nanny for years and have to look on with faux amazement every time a baby claps or blows a raspberry for the first time. I do not say 'they ALL do it. Your child is like all the others'.
Yes I could start boasting about my dc, they are so amazing but I also know the only people I can drone on to that want to hear it and share my amazement is my nan .
I also have never ever rang the school and said the work isn't hard enough or they're not being challenged , that is way over the top.
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