To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

How gross.

I'm agog.

No, I wouldn't unless I came up with some great excuse to leave.

If your dh is that fussed he can go to crappy kids birthday party next time

In general the parent in charge gets to decide what to do, for that afternoon it was you.

Really?! You thought it was ok?

I think you did the right thing, that's what I would have.done

If true, I would have left immediately. I don't like my son around cigarette smoke, why would I let him be around weed smoke?

It's too early on a Sunday morning for rubbish.....

I'm afraid I agree with your DH.

I'd have gone ballistic if I knew my child had been around 15 people smoking weed!!!

I'd have gone home tbh,even though it was outdoors I am very anti drug and I don't think children need to be in that environment.
I wouldn't have said anything I would have just made an excuse about feeling il and gone.

I think it would have been very difficult to leave and take your DD or to 'tell them off'.

No harm done, give your DH a chill pill!

Ah - you really can't beat the sound of mass pant hoiking across the land on a Sunday morning!

Why do I never get invited to parties like that?

What do you think happens if a child inhales a small amount of second hand weed smoke?

Tough one because you don't want to make a huge issue drawing the children's attention to what is going on. As you say they were completely oblivious to it and you could have ended up humiliating DD. But I think that this is really inappropriate behaviour and understand your DH's response I would not be happy at all. Who was supervising the children outside btw? If it is the stoned adults, I would be even more livid. But if ultimately your child was being supervised by you and she was being kept away from the smoking (apart from the brief loo run), then I can see how you could just try to turn a blind eye for her sake. But who is supervising the other children? Does it end up being you too?

This can't be serious surely? Why would anyone be happy for their child to be in an environment where so many people are using drugs?

Is this what your friends normally do?
If so, you must have known they would do it and perhaps should have declined the invitation.
Personally I would be but maybe that's because drugs don't figure in my life.

YANBU

I was going to say usual that I can't think of any other way to get through those early years parties!

I would have gone ballistic too. Seriously not OK.

Although Greythorne my initial reaction to your post was that they'd probably eat an awful lot of crisps (bad and wrong reaction )

I would have done the same as you. Your DD was oblivious to what was going on, and leaving in the middle of the party would have made her feel like she was doing something wrong.

If you can smell the smell, you're getting the active ingredients.

In a adult, your choice, and pretty low dose to body weight.

For a child? I'm with your DH, and would have taken a child from the party.

What do you mean if true

Of course it's true. Once the Brandy and wine started coming out I then decided to leave as being around pissed AND weed induced intelligence was a little too much for me. It was then turning into something more adult and we'd spent about 4 hours there by that time so I decided to leave as i'd had enough of it all by then and DD had had her fun.
If it were inside it would have been very different but being outside in the communial gardens (think block of flats ) then there was plenty of room for the children to play and to be fair the adults stood some distance away from the children to smoke it.

If not wanting my child to be in that environment makes me be a judgey pant hoiking individual then so be it.
I can think of a million other fun things to do rather than in a weed fest.
How old were the adults? They sound very irresponsible.

I am a fairly relaxed and open minded person, in fact my own DH enjoys the occassional joint (at home, after kids are in bed and smoking it in the garden) but I would have found a reason to leave. I don't think that environment is right for children. That said I also hate going to children's parties where the adults then get hammered, in my opinion it's either a kids party and I will drink tea or it's an adults party and I will happilly get hammered but my kids will be left at home.