Mumsnet Talk

Excuse the pun...

Name changed for obvious reasons... and it's not even Friday but here goes!

It's been three months since soon-to-be-XH was unceremoniously kicked out and our decree nisi has just been approved. This sounds like a short time to be moving on BUT the last time we were intimate was before DD was born - two and a half years ago!! I cannot tell you how lonely and miserable it was to be locked in a marriage with no love or sex... no friendship either - only violence, but that's another story that I've posted about on here before.

So I've been unintentionally celibate for a looooooong time and now that I'm finally free all I want is some SEX! It has been too long since I felt the warmth of another body and I am completely smitten with the idea of some affection. I do NOT want to get into a relationship of any sort - I am so happy being an independant woman, with just DD and myself to think about - none of that Wifework for me! All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

Any ideas on how to go about getting this will be greatly appreciated...

[note to self - must stop reading Mills & Boon]

All I want is some SEX!

No, it isn't, otherwise you wouldn't want dinner for two and candles as well. You want a date, companionship, conversation and sex. That is a lot to ask.

YWNBU to be gagging for no strings attached sex, but you are clearly not. You want all the above and for that YABU

Oh God. A good hard pounding from a throbbing member?

I nearly dropped my cup of tea all over the laptop.

Well. I can see your point. IYWMHO, I think that your desire for physical intimacy is totally understandable, I don't blame you, I actually hope you get what you need, and that it doesn't end up messing with your headspace at all....but just make sure you take precautions, is all I'm saying. You wouldn't want a nasty infestation as a memento now, would you?....

Can you make sure you write us an update if you get lucky?

Blimey. Throbbing member, eh? Bloody BLOODY hell.....

<making mental note to go to library, Mills & Boon section tomorrow>

No clue as I've never looked LOL!

But I would imagine the internet is the way to go. There are sites for everything these days.

Theres a website called adultfriendfinder which my friend used when she wanted a no strings attached seeing to.

She was successfully throbbed several times by various members

Have fun!

Ha ha Lost that made me laugh

Hmm, you can have a one-night stand (fairly easily), but do not expect affection, dinner or candlelight as these are more romance/relationship accessories.
If you want/need a one-night stand, it's best not to know the other person at all. After all, if that is all you want and they might want something longer-term, you are going to hurt their feelings. Likewise, your feelings will be very dented, if you expect all the romance but only actually get a quick bit of action between the sheets!
Think about it carefully.

What you actually want, OP, is a fuckbuddy ie someone to have sex and the occasional dinner with but no commitment. As someone else said, Adultfriendfinder is probably a good place to start. Ignore the muppets who insist that it's either 'just sex' or 'a relationship', there is actually plenty of middle ground.
Mind you, you might also enjoy some of the classier swingers' events, the sort that provide a decent buffet as well as a room full of up-for-it potential playmates - you don't have to have sex in the middle of a room full of people if you don't want to, swingers' clubs provide 'private' rooms for couples who want a bit of one-on-one.

Ooooh yes, get a fuckbuddy! They are great fun...

<gazes wistfully into the past>

Lost - seriously, a throbbing member is the LEAST of your worries if you start reading some of the Mills & Boon I've downloaded to my Kindle... and most of them were free too! Bodice-ripping Bonus!

SGB you've hit the nail on the head... I need a fuckbuddy! I'll give Adultfriendfinder a go and see what comes up - its funny, I've been thinking about it for weeks but now that I've actually written it down I'm scared!

The swingers event sounds terrifying and strangely exciting at the same time... tell me more! Where can I find out about them? [disclaimer - for research and information purposes of course!]

One side of me hates that I have to go down this route - FFS, I was married for four years and should NOT have to be trawling websites for sex! The one good thing that's come out of the divorce is that I've lost a shedload of weight - so much so that I'm getting the tattoo I wanted for 11 years on my ribs as now I'm confident in myself for the first time on forever. Damn that man for trying to make me a shell of who I used to be...

My mate actually said the sex she had with the people off the AFF site was the best she ever had.
As it was no strings attached she lost any inhibitions and had several big Os which she never had with her steady fellas!!!

I've registered.... <wibble>... its scary out there!!

I'm obviously going to have to get the upgraded membership, because it won't let you contact anyone unless you pay so that'll have to wait until Weds. But there are some seriously buff looking men on there!! Why on earth any of them would need to register with a site like that I have NO idea... actually, I do - they all seem to be wanting the same as me! NSA nookie!

Honestly though - I have lost the weight but I still feel wobbly... my boobs are still massive from BF, I have a little saggy belly that won't go away even with exercise... what if they don't like me? What if they are violent? How can you know that you're safe? Aaargh I'm sure the men on there don't agonise like this!! Am I being paranoid?

Made the mistake of taking a glug of tea before reading

All I want is dinner for two, loads of wine, candles and a good hard pounding from a throbbing member... is that too much to ask?

and I've just snorted it down my nose and onto keyboard.

Good golly. Golly golly gosh.

Updates please OP, updates (as I furiously scrabble for the 'watch thread' hyperlink

<snort> at Loonytoonie... I don't know who's more excited about this - you lot or me!!!

And I hereby do solemly swear that I will keep you nest of vipers lovely ladies posted EVERY step of the way...

Just make sure you have condoms- absolutely vital!

Thanks MNM I won't forget... I've already got one email from some guy in Norfolk - "Everyth1ngButt" - I dunno... he sounds a bit dodgy... and he can't spell! Looks pretty cute though... but miles from me!

OMG I've just seen that his description is "On your toes and in it goes ;)"
WTF WTF WTF!!!!!

I have a fuck buddy or friend with perks, it is just fabulous. We were great friends first and then one day the txts between us got a bit more flirty then normal and we crossed a line definitely. the best bit is we know each other first, we trust each other not to have diseases , be violent etc. and neither of us intend to " fall in love" as both are in happy relationships. you may be judgemental about that if you like but this works for me . i would advise OP to try ashleymaddison website aswell. or find a friend she already knows.

Can you narrow it down to your area?

I think I should go to bed now... I'll update again tomorrow when I've had a chance to change my search criteria I think! No Butts for me!

Nighty night...

Does your partner know about your FB mummydoc?

I'm a monogomist- I'm way too boring for the extras!!!

Sweet dreams cel!!!

no he doesn't, we have been married for long time, very happy , nice life . I am not sure that monogomy is vital to maintaining this. I know this is a very personal choice and most people would be aghast. I am pretty sure my dh has had 1 night stands while away . I am ok about this.

i had this at the weekend and know exactly what you mean - 2 nights in a hotel, rampant sex, dinner, drive out, cinema, sex, dinner, drinks, more sex, a good laugh and then home. probably won't see him again and will move on to the next lot of fun.........

both knew what we wanted and got it!!

So I've just finished uploading all my profile details... and you have to describe what your fantasy is... Who wants to read what I wrote? It's quite long and slippery...
Actually it probably counts as porn so wouldn't be appropriate for a public forum! I'm quite proud of myself - it's almost Mills & Boon standard (and YES, there was a throbbing member involved! Yay!)