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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to buy my dh clothes.

193 replies

goodbyemrschips · 05/04/2011 17:21

I work in clothes retail and the amount of women that buy clothes for their other halfs and say ''can i bring it back if they don't like it?'' amazes me. Is it a power thing?

Why do women buy their mens clothes? I have been with my dh for 24 years and never bought him so much as a sock, he is a grown man for gods sake not 4.

Please tell me I am not on my own here.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 05/04/2011 17:22

I buy my DH's clothes because he works and I don't...therefore I have more time. We have exactly the same taste though so I've never had to return anything.

forwantofabetter1 · 05/04/2011 17:24

Sorry but I quite often buy Dh clothes!
As a) He works full time and I only do three days a week and with both kids now at school its a bit of a liberty.
b) He detests shopping and I LOVE it
c) He doesnt always have the best of taste!!

hecate · 05/04/2011 17:24

Each to their own.

You are not unreasonable to not do it, and women who do it are not unreasonable if they are doing it because they want to.

I buy clothes for my husband and my children. Because I love buying clothes for them. Seeing something and thinking oooh, X would look fab in that. I certainly wouldn't take kindly to someone suggesting there was anything wrong with my doing that, any more than I would dare to suggest there was anything wrong with someone choosing not to do that.

FetchezLaVache · 05/04/2011 17:24

You are not on your own! But I can see why women would do it, if their OHs hated shopping or didn't get much opportunity to go into town, for instance.

thisisyesterday · 05/04/2011 17:25

i often pick stuff up for dp if i see things at a good price that i think he'll wear
he is totally uninterested in clothes, so if i want him to not look like a tramp then it's in my interests to buy stuff for him

grovel · 05/04/2011 17:25

Well, my DH is perfectly happy to buy his own clothes (and does). He always looks pretty smart but his taste is very conventional (rather preppie). If I want (for my sake) to jazz up his wardrobe a bit I'm going to have to do some buying.

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 17:25

I pick up stuff for dh if he knows exactly what he wants.
He leaves the house at 7.00am, he does not get home until 7.30pm at the earliest and, god love him, spends the whole weekend with me and the kids sharing activities drop off, sports, cinema and cooking Sunday lunch.

I think saying 'fuck off, buy your own socks' would be maybe a little churlish.

It has nothing to do with his age, nothing to do with being childish or lazy. Just a very sensible sharing of roles.
If that is ok of course.

WriterofDreams · 05/04/2011 17:25

Out of interest MrsChips, do you wash your DH's clothes?

DilysPrice · 05/04/2011 17:26

YANBU. I might offer to get some staples like jeans/plain white shirts/socks for DH if he's just thrown some out and I happen to be passing the relevant shop, but anything that requires choice is his job - of course it is.

DuelingFanjo · 05/04/2011 17:27

I only do it if I see something in the sale and think he might like it. He never buys anything for himself either. I do wash his clothes though.

Ragwort · 05/04/2011 17:27

You are not on your own - I also find it bizarre that a grown up would buy clothes for another grown up (but from some comments we might be in the minority ) - I would hate my DH to buy any clothes for me - he tried once (think tarty ) and I wouldn't dream of getting clothes for him ............ however, neither of us is the slightest bit interested in 'fashion' so we do look like a couple of tramps !

TheVisitor · 05/04/2011 17:28

I always buy DH clothes. Nowt wrong with it. He works, I don't.

wineclub · 05/04/2011 17:28

I buy DHs clothes if I am in a shop, and he isn't and I see something he needs/likes. If I am going shopping he may ask me to get him something, the same way he may ask for something from whsmiths or M&S food or currys. I would do the same for friends and other relatives. To not do so would be churlish. I think people who refuse to help out their DHs in this way make ishoos where there aren't any. I would hate to not be able to ask DH to pick something up for me when he is already out just because I am a grown women for gods sake, not 4.

NinkyNonker · 05/04/2011 17:31

I buy them sometimes because I go to clothes shops, if I see something that he might like/needs I'll buy it. He would (and does) do the same thing...not necessarily with clothes though. Not a control thing at all, we have similar tastes and if he doesn't like something I buy I return it, and vice versa. I just see it as part of being in a partnership, we help one another out.

catzcream · 05/04/2011 17:34

YABU

If I am out shopping and pass something that I think would suit my DH and is his taste, I would absolutely buy it! I am in the shops more frequently than he is and always pick something up if I think it is nice. Not a power thing for me, only do it out of consideration and to try and do something thoughtful for someone I love

thesnowmanleft · 05/04/2011 17:34

MY DP is realy in to clothes and has wonderful taste. I don't think I could keep up with him tbh. Also, we have seperate accounts so I'd hardly be likely to buy his clothes with my money

I've bought him the odd gift but it invaribly goes on Ebay!

noodle69 · 05/04/2011 17:34

How would they even know what to get them? My husband is ridiculous and tries on things to see if they fit right, look right etc. I could never buy him anything as it would bound to be wrong. I would shop for other stuff for him but only he can shop for his clothes.

PenguinArmy · 05/04/2011 17:34

I don't refuse to buy DH's clothes but I don't offer to either. He is his own person and should therefore have responsibility for choosing how he looks. Incidentally he has always done the washing and ironing as well.

walesblackbird · 05/04/2011 17:35

I very rarely buy dh clothes partly because he has very expensive tastes and I refuse to spend the sort of money he likes to! Anyway, he's way too picky and I figure that he's perfectly capable of buying his own clothes so leave him to it.

The only time I will buy something is for Xmas or occasionally for his birthday.

squeakytoy · 05/04/2011 17:35

I buy my husbands clothes, and have never had to take anything back yet because he didnt like it. I have had to exchange a couple of things that havent fit properly, but other than that he trusts my judgement and likes what I get him.

It is usually for birthday or xmas presents anyway, and sometimes if we are going away and he needs something and will then ask me to get it for him.

PenguinArmy · 05/04/2011 17:35

saying that I often have to drag him to the shops as he hates shopping, even when he complains he needs new clothes and he likes to moderate his choices (which doesn't need doing, I do encourage him to try different things on but he only buys what he likes)

mumblechum1 · 05/04/2011 17:37

I never buy my dh clothes purely because he's a fussy bugger. He wears EXACTLY the same type of jumper (must be cashmere, black or navy, round neck) and the same type of shirts and trousers year in year out, interspersed only by scruffier versions of the same for gardening.
I know that if I bought him something different he'd never wear it.

He goes shopping twice a year and buys 6 to 10 of everything in 15 mins.

Pagwatch · 05/04/2011 17:37

I love it when dh buys me stuff..... He buys me stuff I would never splash out on.

Sarsaparilllla · 05/04/2011 17:37

I've occasionally bought him something if I spot it and think he'd like it, but only in the same way I might buy him a book or a cd he might like, I don't do it because he can't dress himself

Ragwort · 05/04/2011 17:38

Agree with noodle69 I don't 'not buy' clothes out of churlishness but I have no idea of what would fit/what he would like etc etc. It's not an issue of refusing to help him - I tend to do most domestic stuff as I am a SAHM and happily do all the birthday card/presents for his family which I know a lot of mumsnetters don't believe in doing . Clothes shopping to me is such a personal thing, as I said earlier, I would hate anyone to buy clothes for me.

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