If you could give ONE piece of advice to your daughter, what would it be?

(106 Posts)
kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 00:05:46

If for some reason (e.g. this is your dying piece of wisdom) you could say just one thing to your daughter/niece etc, what would it be?

I am torn between 'never let a man talk over/down to you, your voice is just as valid and should be heard' and 'NEVER let anyone touch you in a way you don't like, except for medical necessity. If that happens, scream like fuck then run for it for fight like a demon'.

Really can't make up my mind. The first one more likely to be used (several times a day, maybe) but the second one could be life saving.

Any other thoughts?

stylenadlife Thu 08-Aug-13 00:06:31

Become a lesbian

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou Thu 08-Aug-13 00:07:28

I think if you did the first one then you wouldn't need to be told to do the second one.

Never depend on anyone financially.

recall Thu 08-Aug-13 00:17:23

Never be dependant on a man financially, or to provide contraception.

Live your own life.

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 08-Aug-13 00:20:39

When you're thinking "But he's not that bad", stop. Not that bad isn't good enough.

RonaldMcDonald Thu 08-Aug-13 00:23:27

Find out who you are and what you like

YoniBottsBumgina Thu 08-Aug-13 00:23:43

Depressing that these are all about men BTW grin FWIW I would give the same advice to my son. Nobody needs to be in a relationship which is "not that bad". It's just not that important to be with someone unless you are fucking awesome together.

Rules Thu 08-Aug-13 00:24:01

That you are perfect and gorgeous just the way you are.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Thu 08-Aug-13 00:24:44

Be your own mountain.

Never let anyone make you feel you are worth less than them.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Thu 08-Aug-13 00:34:13

Yes, but the question was only about daughters.

My answer would apply equally to my son.

Would give the same advice to DS.

Longdistance Thu 08-Aug-13 00:36:10

Never give up your career for any man.

BOF Thu 08-Aug-13 00:36:41

I'd tell her to have confidence in her abilities, and understand that most people are bluffing anyway.

kickassangel Thu 08-Aug-13 03:27:43

Always be financially independent. I like that one.

SoYo Thu 08-Aug-13 03:41:42

My DF always said to me "never marry a man because you need him, marry him because you want him". He wouldn't let me leave home until I could change a plug, hang wallpaper, put up a shelf, change a car tyre and oil etc, change fuses and competently build a flat pack. He's a good man and it was good advice.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 08-Aug-13 03:55:23

You're not mad, you're not unreasonable, you're not paranoid and you're not a failure: you're a woman in a man's world, and the odds really are stacked against you.

Nandocushion Thu 08-Aug-13 05:14:26

Don't have children. sad

noisytoys Thu 08-Aug-13 06:03:46

I would tell her if she wanted the best for her children, she can't settle for second best for herself. Her children aren't going to achieve their best if they see her settle for second best

Terrorvision Thu 08-Aug-13 06:14:09

I like that noisytoys. Mine would be: 'Don't be afraid to make enemies' (ie, don't feel you have to be nice to everyone, including men. Be prepared to fight and to fight for respect. Some people will always hate you. The important thing is not to hate yourself')

exoticfruits Thu 08-Aug-13 06:16:50

Exactly the same as for a DS- you do not have to follow the crowd- be strong enough to do your own thing.

TwllBach Thu 08-Aug-13 06:22:52

I would be torn between 'always have an escape plan' by which I mostly mean financial independence and security. It was drummed into me by my mother.

And

If possible, learn who you are and become solid in yourself before you get in to a relationship. I lurched from one bad relationship to another from the age of 15 and they were bad because I was insecure and vulnerable and not grown up enough to understand that sometimes men are attracted to women like that. At 25 I'm finally starting to realise you need to love yourself (cliche I know) before anyone else can.. And lo and behold I have found a kind, caring dp.

Meringue33 Thu 08-Aug-13 06:29:00

You are beautiful and incredibly cool just the way you are. Don't ever feel you need to change your appearance, buy something or behave a certain way in order to be liked.

For both my dd and ds, 'respect yourselves and other people'. This encompasses physically and emotionally, everyone has a right to voice their own opinion whether you agree with it or not. If a friend or partner can't accept that then you should get someone who does.
I know it is an over used word but I like it!

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