My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

If you were raped would you report it?

388 replies

darleneconnor · 08/11/2010 20:07

A topical question.

I didn't in the past because I was in denial.

For the sake of my privacy I still wouldn't now. It'd make me feel so guilty leaving someone to go free and maybe do it again but psychologically I coudln't cope with a court case and all that goes with it.
Sad Sad Sad

OP posts:
colditz · 08/11/2010 20:08

I don't know. the chances of conviction are only about 5% and I don't fancy having my previous sexual habits dragged through court for all and sundry to hear.

Probably not, to be honest.

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 08/11/2010 20:10

no i wouldn't.

My ex raped me daily.

I sat on jury service for a rape trial. what that girl went through was horrific. The guy who raped her wasn't her partner, just a man she knew.

Inter relationship rape is virtually impossible to prove as it is his word against yours.

I knew the conviction was nigh on impossible and there was no way i would give him the satisfaction of being found not guilty. of being told i was a liar, officially, in court.

allstarsprincess · 08/11/2010 20:11

I would like to think that I could and would report it. Having the strength at the time though would be another matter. :(

undertheboredwalk · 08/11/2010 20:12

No I wouldn't. I was raped 10yrs ago, I reported it and was put through hell and it didn't even get to court. No way would I put myself through that again.

lollypoplady · 08/11/2010 20:14

It depends on the circumstances I guess, although in general would like to think I would report it straight away. I was in an sexual 'relationship' at the age of 14 with a man a lot older who should have known better, it has really affected me and I went to the police a few years back. They were understanding enough but explained everything I would have to go through and it really put me off... but that was just my situation.

fannybaws · 08/11/2010 20:18

No I wouldn't unless it was on cctv outside a police station and the assailant was a stranger.
I would however tell some of the most protective men I knew and not ask what happened next and I am not kidding.
I think the law is an ass in many respects and this is one of them.

AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 20:18

I really don't know

sorry, much of an answer

AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 20:18

not much

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 08/11/2010 20:18

the one and only circumstance i would report it would be if it was a total stranger at knife point and i was dragged off the street and left with violant "evidence"

and there was CCTV. and independant witnesses. and a signed confession.


sadly men know that so few women have confidence in the justice system that they know they can get away with it. Sad

sethstarkaddersmum · 08/11/2010 20:21

It's unlikely. It would have to be an absolutely spot-on cliched stranger rape involving physical injury and witnesses and I would have to have been in a position to report it immediately.
It's so easy to see practically anything in one's life being used against you. Happily married? Clearly a bored housewife looking for kicks. Single? Clearly desperate for sex.

SagacityNell · 08/11/2010 20:28

I didn't report any in the past and i don't think that i would if it happened again. Unless there were witnesses and concrete evidence and even then i am not 100% sure i would.

HerBeatitude · 08/11/2010 21:44

No probably not.

I wouldn't want to risk being sent to prison for false allegation of rape, if I couldn't get a conviction.

I would try and get revenge instead, I don't think the law offers us justice so I think I would try and get justice some other way.

TheCrackFox · 08/11/2010 21:53

Probably not, no. My friend was brutally raped by her boyfriend - in the trial her sexual, family background and mental history was picked over in forensic detail. He was found not guilty and then the judge revealed he had been accused of exactly the same act by 5 previous girlfriends.

Also, I am worried that I could get sent to prison for making a false allegation of rape or that if I decided to withdraw the charges I could get sent to prison for wasting police time.

I would pay someone to kneecap him. Seriously.

AnyFucker · 08/11/2010 21:55

HB, TCF, so would I...it is very easy to arrange

thisisyesterday · 08/11/2010 21:56

um yes, my immediate resposnse is yes, of course i would

but i've never been in a situation even remotely like that so i guess it's kind of hard to say

LynetteScavo · 08/11/2010 21:57

If it happened today in this country, yes I would report it.

Would I follow through with the court case, etc? I don't know.

KerryMumbles · 08/11/2010 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 08/11/2010 21:58

actually, this is quite scary isn't it? that so many peopoe wouldn't?

i can totally udnerstand all the reasons for not wanting to, and it has made me really wonder about my previous response.... but it' wrong isn't it? that we should not report things like this? or rather, that we should feel that we can't

Rannaldini · 08/11/2010 21:59

I would report for dna evidence etc but push for court and a denial (in all likelyhood) of justice
probably not

lilolilmanchester · 08/11/2010 22:00

I think it's very difficult to answer until you have been in the situation, especially if you know or have had some kind of relationship with the person.

HerBeatitude · 08/11/2010 22:06

AF do tell.

I really am beginning to think that vigilante justice is the only option open to rape victims. With a 6% conviction rate for reported rapes, knowing that most rape is not reported, and the threat that we will be sent to prison for wasting police time or making false allegations if we can't get a conviction, the law is failing us. So the only options we are left with, are either to accept that it's more or less legal for men to rape us as long as they don't beat us up too badly at the same time, or try and find justice outside of the law. I would want justice.

dittany · 08/11/2010 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeyoukay · 08/11/2010 22:11

"sadly men know that so few women have confidence in the justice system that they know they can get away with it."

Going go have to pull you up on that. At least change it to "sadly Rapists know". Contrary to popular belief not ALL men are rapists.

suzikettles · 08/11/2010 22:12

I don't know.

Last year someone dh knows was raped by a man who stayed over at her flat after a drunken night out because he said he'd missed his last train home. He violently raped and sexually assaulted her and beat her to a bloody pulp. The case has just been dropped.

So, I don't know. Because that seemed open and shut to me, so...

thisisyesterday · 08/11/2010 22:15

so tell me more.

if you report a rape and it goes to court but they aren't convicted YOU could then be charged with making it up?

but wouldn't they need to prove you made it up?

not convicting someone of rape merely means they can't prove it, not that it iddn't happen surely?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.