Cat interrupting us...

(82 Posts)
BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 17:18:09

Our rescue cat Benjamin is very lovely but very friendly and forceful and large. He was 4 when we got him and is 6 now and I think whatever problems he had when rescued will be with him for life as he has issues surrounding food and love, is very needy and freaks out when we go upstairs at night even though he eventually follows.

Our house is open pan and so there is no door between the downstairs and upstairs. The only rooms downstairs with doors are the kitchen (TINY, not even big enough for his litter tray), downstairs toilet (tiny) and living room. We don't really want to keep his litter in the living room, and as such he has never been shut in a room downstairs overnight.

For the first few weeks of having him we didn't let him sleep in the bedroom with us. He ripped up the carpet, scratched at the door all night and took run ups to try and knock down the door. We therefore relented and he's slept with us ever since.

However, DP and I would like to having some 'us' time in the bedroom with the bloody cat! We naturally have sex before we go to sleep and so Benjamin is in by then (no cat flap, he comes in for his dinner at about 11pm or whenever the fuck he likes and if we have sex and shut him out of the room we are treated to wailing and door barging, if he's in the room with us he tries to sit on us. [embarrassed]

It's actually a real problem that is upsetting us. Is there anything we can do?!

PS. I know he's massively obese. We're working on it...

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 17:19:11

Um, without the bloody cat, not with!!!

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 18-Apr-14 19:52:37

He is not interrupting just getting a ringside seat, cats are voyeuristic didn't you know.

QOD Fri 18-Apr-14 19:54:01

Put some food down for him?

AnimalsAreMyFriends Fri 18-Apr-14 19:55:01

Hahaha! Our previous cat used to watch. I completely freaked dh out by suggesting that the cat was giving him marks out of 10 for technique grin
From then on my tabby pal was sent out of the room, pre activity!!!

QOD Fri 18-Apr-14 19:55:07

Mind you, you've just said he's obese, my answer doesn't help much!!
It's like having a teen child, you just can't have sex grin

timtam23 Fri 18-Apr-14 22:25:37

We have cats all over the bed at night and they are very offended if we turf them off. Have you tried a Feliway plug in? They are supposed to be calming for cats in all sorts of situations (I have used them for anxious/neurotic cats who were weeing on the carpet, so not the same problem as you have, but they did seem to help)

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 22:37:28

He really will get on the person's back who's on top.

He eats his dinner in about ten seconds flat, like a dog

Feliway seems to have no effect on him hmm

timtam23 Fri 18-Apr-14 22:58:27

Oh dear

He is a very striking cat, lovely markings. Is he a Bengal or part Bengal? I don't know much about specific breeds and have always had rescue moggies but apparently Bengals can have larger-than-life personalities.

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 22:59:53

I think he is just a ginger tabby tom, but have no real info as he was a rescue.

He is beautiful, but insane

cozietoesie Fri 18-Apr-14 23:02:03

Siamese sit quietly and avert their eyes - or curl up somewhere in the room and go to sleep. (Sorry, OP - I realize that's no help to you given that Benjamin is already resident.) Why not take him upstairs with you and settle him first?

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 23:04:55

He would come back down (he is always, always, always on us or a foot away from us, apart from when he's outside) and then when we went to bed he would get on ushmm

cozietoesie Fri 18-Apr-14 23:08:13

You say 'us' but it must be very rare (in fact I've never personally experienced it) for a cat to fix on two people equally. What are the dynamics of your household? Is he more your cat or more your DP's?

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 23:11:26

It's my DP. He's obsessed with him. He wakes him up at 6 every morning with headbuts, comes running to sit on his lap etc. they're in bed now and I'm in the bath.

I feed B in the evenings and my DP in the mornings, but it's my DP he is fixated on

17leftfeet Fri 18-Apr-14 23:21:27

Cats are definitely voyeuristic

One of mine has figured out how to open the bathroom door and will sit and stare at me in the shower

Sorry no help here

cozietoesie Fri 18-Apr-14 23:24:16

Let me muse. In the interim, I'd suggest that you restrain yourself for at least 4 or 5 days (unless you have a garden shed) and let B get into the habit of you being in his idol's bed, and bed being for sleep.

(Sorry - I'm trying not to laugh here because I know it's a actually quite a serious issue for you!)

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 23:27:34

I'm sure we can manage that!

Thanks. I put his favourite catnip toys outside bathroom door as I wanted peace, but he's stayed in the bed being spooned by DP

MichaelFinnigan Fri 18-Apr-14 23:28:42

Get him a lady friend so he's not so left out

cozietoesie Fri 18-Apr-14 23:37:26

And start rehearsing your (pitiful) explanations if you're caught in a back street, in the car, by a traffic cop - and have to tell them that your cat won't allow free association inside the house!

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 23:40:52

Ha!

Might be be a Bengal? Just googled ginger bengals and he looks exactly like them! Always assumed he was a ginger tabby.

cozietoesie Fri 18-Apr-14 23:44:41

He's certainly a very big and powerful boy. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got Bengal in him but I'll defer on this one to the Bengal owners on the board.

Blithereens Fri 18-Apr-14 23:47:02

He's gorgeous and his facial expressions combined with your post is making me laugh!

No advice, sorry. Ours are the same. I just turn the music up and let them back in once we're finished!

chocolatespiders Fri 18-Apr-14 23:52:09

Leave him outside for longer

BigPawsBrown Fri 18-Apr-14 23:54:54

He's currently out as much as he likes - 7am til midnight quite often!

cozietoesie Sat 19-Apr-14 00:08:46

Ah - he gets bored easily and LURV from your DP is his inside activity. He's trying to join in in your 'game'.

What inside games do you play with him/toys does he have?

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